TeeMousy
Est. Contributor
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- Adult Baby
- Diaper Lover
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I think it's a sliding scale. Exactly where that line is will very from person to person, and from day to day.
I bought it and read it. There's just no way I'd give it to my SO to read. Not everyone who is an infantilist is a fit subject for the female-led relationship the author advocates.LittleTyke said:While I don't know the book, and thus haven't read it, I guess that there is much that I disagree with in it, just from your short description.
Slightly off-topic: I find it hilarious, and a bit saddening, when people label themselves with their astrological sign, and seem to believe that this defines or explains everything about their personality...Bigbabybret said:So, i also HATE that people are so wanting to put themself into some sorta group or define thierself as a certain "type" or association. Being in a catagory limits your thinking IMHO and just do what you feel like, no catagory need be involved in any way.
I'm not a diaper lover, and definitely not an 'Adult Baby' in perspective or mind. I wear them because I have to, and I do not like the fact.Elros said:I posted this as a response to another thread, but it is something I think I'd like ideas on separate from that thread.
I consider myself 100% DL. Recently, my partner read, "So Your Husband is a DL." The Author makes the argument that DL's all have some component of AB in them and that no true DL's exist. My partner asked me a list of questions from the book and the result has me questioning my presumption that I am pure DL. At first, I considered the possibility that the author (Joyce Kinnebrew) and I had a different working definition of what an AB is, however, the research on understanding infantilism suggest she may be correct. The "ABDL triangle" proposes any interest in humiliation/loss of status/loss of control or desire for role change are AB qualities.
I never considered loss of control an AB quality (but more of a sub quality) and now I'm conflicted after believing I was pure DL for over 20 years.
This all started with me trying 24/7 and the introduction of some D/s play. I found the suggestion of this book somewhere on the internet and I bought it. That said, I did exactly what the author requested and, initially, did not read it (until my girlfriend did). The Author suggest, in the case of the book, the wife goes along with the 24/7 diaper idea as long as she gets more control. She proposes a safeword that would end the whole thing and afterwards she would refuse to involve herself from that point forward if it is invoked. I like my partner being involved and being accepting of the 24/7 diaper idea (and frankly, I'd hate to lose it because I accept myself more, have more confidence, overcame the vicious binge/purge cycle, i am happier, I am less anxious [my actual blood pressure and heart rate have gone down significantly], etc.). So, if asked if I would use my safeword if my partner wanted to spoonfeed me or bathe me at the risk of her never being involved again, I said no. I find this manipulative, but I'm finding it hard to disagree with the author that if I'm not willing to use my safeword, part of me is okay with it or, at the very least, not so bothered by it to leave it all behind. So...maybe I am part AB?...I don't know. I also don't think it likely matters if at the end I'm happier.
I'm curious though, do you think all DL's are slightly AB? If you had a partner willing to go all in and be involved with general diaper stuff and completely accept it, what would you be okay with to keep it? Do many DL's, as she suggest, enjoy some humiliation? Another book takes it a step further and suggest all men like being babied, which is different from being a "baby," but shares some similarities.
Yes, i get needing a term like AB meaning something in general to all people that read it.LittleTyke said:Slightly off-topic: I find it hilarious, and a bit saddening, when people label themselves with their astrological sign, and seem to believe that this defines or explains everything about their personality...
That said, I believe that it is necessary for us to have some common terms in order to communicate, so other people can understand what we are writing. But we certainly can't see the terms as absolutes, or believe that a single label describes everything.
This makes you even more an object of my esteem!SparkyDog said:one day I just wasn't interested in AB anymore. I purged all my AB stuff and haven't looked back. It's been years now already and haven't had a desire be AB.
Not always possible when surrounded by people who won't allow you to be yourself...Edgewater said:Wow! I was going to say that being IC brings clarity to this discussion, but...
The wonders of the Human-self is that we are a blend of one's experiences.
Enjoy being what makes you, you!
Remember, that 90% is in your mind! Be you in your mind 100% of the time!artemisenterri said:Not always possible when surrounded by people who won't allow you to be yourself...
Uh, it's not "in my mind" when i've had someone specifically tell me she won't allow me to purchase, transport, own, store, or wear diapers...Edgewater said:Remember, that 90% is in your mind! Be you in your mind 100% of the time!
Well, to be here, you have to be over 18 years old!artemisenterri said:Uh, it's not "in my mind" when i've had someone specifically tell me she won't allow me to purchase, transport, own, store, or wear diapers...