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I've been IC since the beginning. Aside from my mom trying "potty training" on me, I've only used the toilet a few times. As a kid it was frustrating and at times, it got me angry. Jesus I tried. It just never worked. It was frustrating for both of us. We tried everything. When I was a bit older I would try myself sitting on the toilet in my personal bathroom. For hours. Sometimes I would actually pee for a bit but I just didn't feel the urge. Hours latter I just couldn't hold it and the urgency was so strong. The same thing when I had a BM. I tried so many times but hours latter...pooped right into my diaper because I had such a strong urgency. It was crazy. Doctors diagnosed me (I'd prefer not to discus the actual diagnose...it's irrelevant), and I do see them regularly and my condition is "steady." But I will say that I'm profoundly IC.
So yeah, I'm diaper dependent. Have you ever felt what it might feel like using a toilet like normal people? It's been a couple of decades not using a toilet. I guess I've has a fantasy about using a toilet instead of wearing a diaper. Life would be so much easier. No complications (at least about wearing diapers). Of course I've accepted being IC and I think I've got used to it. But I still think about it. Is it just me? Or do you think about it like I do?
So yeah, I'm diaper dependent. Have you ever felt what it might feel like using a toilet like normal people? It's been a couple of decades not using a toilet. I guess I've has a fantasy about using a toilet instead of wearing a diaper. Life would be so much easier. No complications (at least about wearing diapers). Of course I've accepted being IC and I think I've got used to it. But I still think about it. Is it just me? Or do you think about it like I do?
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