Diaper Paradox

[newt]

So now that I have been doing pelvic floor therapy for about 6 months I have started to notice something somewhat funny. When I first started, my PT asked me to keep a bladder diary. I realized I was usually peeing about 30+ times a day. I was using Megamax for it. But I didn't really need them, insofar as whenever I do have accidents, they are never really heavy wettings. I could, and did, get away with thinner diapers in situations I didn't want to deal with the megamax thickness. I really only preferred Megamax because it let me change less at work, which was nice because I have a public bathroom to change in that is frequently busy. And because for whatever reason, Northshore Supremes never have fit me right, which is disappointing because I think Northshore is the best brand on the market.

But now that I have made great progress with pelvic floor therapy, I feel like I'm starting to need the megamax, even though I have cut my average voids per day to the low/mid 20s per day. Which I am extremely happy with. BUT now that I can hold longer, it means when I do have an accident, it becomes significantly more dangerous. They may be slightly less frequent, but when they happen its closer to a flood.

I would have thought when I made this progress I could get away with thinner diapers. Instead, I only trust megamax because I worry about a flood causing a leak. Has anyone else gone through this? I'm hoping it is just a temporary problem as I keep making progress. But I cant deny its not frustrating to make progress but now feel like I need the megamax to do its job instead of for the convenience.

 

[PupSpaz]

Oof, yep that kinda makes sense... Your capacity is improving, your ability to not leak is still there... No personal experience with this, but as you explained it it seems reasonable progress! Hope you continue progressing!

 

[WoollyAndJoshy]

Sometimes they say things will get worse before they improve…

 

[HalMidLife]

So now that I have been doing pelvic floor therapy for about 6 months I have started to notice something somewhat funny. When I first started, my PT asked me to keep a bladder diary. I realized I was usually peeing about 30+ times a day. I was using Megamax for it. But I didn't really need them, insofar as whenever I do have accidents, they are never really heavy wettings. I could, and did, get away with thinner diapers in situations I didn't want to deal with the megamax thickness. I really only preferred Megamax because it let me change less at work, which was nice because I have a public bathroom to change in that is frequently busy. And because for whatever reason, Northshore Supremes never have fit me right, which is disappointing because I think Northshore is the best brand on the market.

But now that I have made great progress with pelvic floor therapy, I feel like I'm starting to need the megamax, even though I have cut my average voids per day to the low/mid 20s per day. Which I am extremely happy with. BUT now that I can hold longer, it means when I do have an accident, it becomes significantly more dangerous. They may be slightly less frequent, but when they happen its closer to a flood.

I would have thought when I made this progress I could get away with thinner diapers. Instead, I only trust megamax because I worry about a flood causing a leak. Has anyone else gone through this? I'm hoping it is just a temporary problem as I keep making progress. But I cant deny its not frustrating to make progress but now feel like I need the megamax to do its job instead of for the convenience.

Wow...what a pickle. I'm sorry to hear that progress in one direction is having negative results in another.

 

[newt]

Thanks guys. I feel bad for complaining about progress. But here we are. The first 4 months of therapy I had good, steady gains. For the first time since this all happened I thought there may be a light at the end of the tunnel. So when I stated having bigger leaks I thought it was a good sign. And around the same time I started waking up every few nights needing to pee, which I also thought was great.

But for the last 2 months my progress has really plateaued. Now waking up in the night is just annoying because its hard for me to fall back asleep so I just lay there. Sure I managed to get to the bathroom but now I'm exhausted the next day. I'm mostly just worried that I've reached the by body's limits of progress from therapy.

I'm not going to give up on PT yet. But somehow I almost feel worse off because I felt such hope only for it to be crushed.

 

[Angelapinks]

So now that I have been doing pelvic floor therapy for about 6 months I have started to notice something somewhat funny. When I first started, my PT asked me to keep a bladder diary. I realized I was usually peeing about 30+ times a day. I was using Megamax for it. But I didn't really need them, insofar as whenever I do have accidents, they are never really heavy wettings. I could, and did, get away with thinner diapers in situations I didn't want to deal with the megamax thickness. I really only preferred Megamax because it let me change less at work, which was nice because I have a public bathroom to change in that is frequently busy. And because for whatever reason, Northshore Supremes never have fit me right, which is disappointing because I think Northshore is the best brand on the market.

But now that I have made great progress with pelvic floor therapy, I feel like I'm starting to need the megamax, even though I have cut my average voids per day to the low/mid 20s per day. Which I am extremely happy with. BUT now that I can hold longer, it means when I do have an accident, it becomes significantly more dangerous. They may be slightly less frequent, but when they happen its closer to a flood.

I would have thought when I made this progress I could get away with thinner diapers. Instead, I only trust megamax because I worry about a flood causing a leak. Has anyone else gone through this? I'm hoping it is just a temporary problem as I keep making progress. But I cant deny its not frustrating to make progress but now feel like I need the megamax to do its job instead of for the convenience.

I love the security that a good diaper like Megamax can give but the cost and the actual need for it at all times is not practical anymore for both of us. I switched to an Overnight type pull on for daytime as they were both cheaper and at the same time very good in case of larger leaks. They are much more discreet under clothing and give me piece of mind without shouting "I am a diaper wearer" to the general public.

 

[greatlake5]

Never really improved. Urination has been for extreme weak bowel and bladder sphincters along with strong urgency. So what ever pelvic floor therapy I tried it simply frustrates me. I have a tendency to flood after having a (sometimes painful) urge. I've tried all kinds of diapers. I've finally realized that thinner diapers just means an early changing. Which makes public bathrooms a problem (hate the noise). I don't void 20 times a day. Maybe 5 to 10. I don't really like Megamax. Heavy wetting makes them clump and a super heavy diaper with more bulge. I can get away with a quality medical diaper (Confidry 24/7 or an Abena). I wear these for about 3 to 6 hours (usually average of 5 hours). If I'm going to be out for longer hours I might use a good booster. BM accidents are rare for me (mostly for sleeping) but they happen. I have my own personal office and bathroom so changing is fairly easy. So a diaper paradox doesn't really affect me. I would advice for a "middle of the road" diaper. But if you can handle Megamax, sure, use them with your multi-day wetting.

 

[Zeke]

Sometimes they say things will get worse before they improve…

That reminds me of when I was told “Cheer up things could be worse.” so I cheered up and sure enough, they were right, things got worse!

 

[newt]

I love the security that a good diaper like Megamax can give but the cost and the actual need for it at all times is not practical anymore for both of us. I switched to an Overnight type pull on for daytime as they were both cheaper and at the same time very good in case of larger leaks. They are much more discreet under clothing and give me piece of mind without shouting "I am a diaper wearer" to the general public.

I completely understand that. I settled on megamax mostly because it was the first diaper I felt like I could truly trust to not leak. At that time of my life, it was absolutely a godsend.

I also think that, at least for me, it is the most discreet of the heavier diapers. I also rarely get to full capacity. Its more expensive, but I've long since decided I'd pay a bit more for peace of mind. Nobody has ever noticed or said anything to me. So hopefully I'm not shouting I'm wearing a diaper. I have founds leaks to shout I had an accident though.

I tried Betterdry and they look like a full megamax on me even when dry. I liked Dry 24/7 a lot until the quality cratered and now they're gone anyway. Was never a fan of Abena. My main other go to is/was Seni Super Quatro. Unfortunately, I gained a little bit of weight. Now I'm exactly in the middle of sizes. For whatever reason the size above bunches weird no matter how I tape it. That was a significant bummer.

I do have a few types of Northshore diapers I use for situations I need to be much more discreet or wear clothes that can't hide a megamax like a suit.

 

[daylight]

@newt, ask your PT likely discussed with you, issues and your goals will dictate approach. Strengthening weak or relaxing over tight muscles. PT helped me, didn't cure me but, every gain is a gain. Best of luck.

[Edit] Adding...the higher bladder volume is good. If you know your bladder volume (largest leak), you maybe able to downsize your choice of diapers.

 

[newt]

@newt, ask your PT likely discussed with you, issues and your goals will dictate approach. Strengthening weak or relaxing over tight muscles. PT helped me, didn't cure me but, every gain is a gain. Best of luck.

[Edit] Adding...the higher bladder volume is good. If you know your bladder volume (largest leak), you maybe able to downsize your choice of diapers.

I couldn't agree more. Any and every gain is a gain. Definitely will keep working with my PT.

I also realized writing my last reply that I haven't looked at/for better diapers for me for years. I settled on megamax when I was much more anxious about the situation and haven't reevaluated since. No need for overkill anymore. I just ordered samples of all the InControl briefs as well as the Betterdry day, which I never knew existed.

Any other suggestions welcome.

 

[daylight]

@newt,

One suggestions, something of a quick sorting (also pun), try half the estimated capacity of megamax and see how it works, and half again until you find what works for you. Hope you find something cheaper, modest/less-visible, and more comfortable. IDK, Isn't Betterdry and InControl similar in being considered high absorption/capacity?

 

[newt]

@daylight Thanks for the advice. Gonna try it ASAP.

Its very possible that InControl is the same as Betterdry. I ordered samples of 4 of their briefs (everyone except the one-tab briefs). I had never even heard of them until a rep commented on a post I was on.

I just added samples of Attends, Molicare, and Tena. If the InControl are similar to Betterdry, I figured I should add more briefs to sample. I'm excited to try them. Never thought I'd be excited to try diapers, but if I can get away with thinner and more discreet diapers, it will be much better than convincing myself megamax is best for me.

 

[Edgewater]

Not sure what you and your PT have defined as an obtainable goal. But, they tend to be less rigid as you hit given thresholds, i.e. number of releases during the day! The goal of increasing volume and decreasing the number of releases is all based in better muscle control. You may never get to a point in which you are not relying on diapers, but you maybe able to use the toilet a couple of times a day.

I am about seven+ releases during the day, which implies I have dry spells during the day. But as you noticed, when a release comes, your diaper will need to handled the additional volume. As you know, diapers like a slow and steady flow so they can move the volume out and into the diaper and at the same time provided you a feeling of just dampness and not an overflowing flood.

In the minds of many, I play a dangerous game as I use cloth diapers with plastic pants during the day and MegaMax with NS's trifecta pant at night. The goal is to sleep while filling the MegaMax at night waking to a flooded to semi-flooded diaper in the morning and changing after near every other release during the day. It helps greatly that I am retired and have the time and place to change my cloth diapers.

Point being; yes, it all seems counterintuitive, but muscle control is a winner!

 

[newt]

My PT was upfront when she said it may not be possible to completely resolve the problem, but we want to go as far as my body will allow. If thats only a 30% improvement, then that's 30% more control than I had before. I'm happy with the progress despite the plateau in progress the last two months.

My PTs main concern is the limits that my polyuria places on my progress. My nephrologist hasn't been able to find the cause of the polyuria (which does NOT play well with OAB), but we've ruled out both kinds of diabetes, kidney disease/failure, and liver problems. He seems to think my kidneys are healthy despite pumping out urine. I'm glad so far the cause isn't anything life-threatening but I'm hoping for an answer beyond "your kidneys just naturally produce a lot of urine." I'm hoping if I gain more control with PT and find a way to limit the polyuria, i might be able to get nearly out of diapers. Or at the very least be done with the never-ending, constant, unrelenting need to go to the bathroom.

I will say I've never heard of daytime cloth but nighttime megamax. But it makes more sense if you're retired. Don't have to worry about changing in the office. How helpful was PT for you?

 

[scaifester]

Hi Newt,
Have you tried adding boosters to a thinner diaper? It may help with distribution and allow more discreteness

 

[Zeke]

The last time that I saw a paradox was when I had my cervical spinal surgery in ‘91. On doc started the procedure on my neck and the other doc started harvesting the bone from my hip needed for the 2 level fusion. So that was my pair of docs.

 

[newt]

The last time that I saw a paradox was when I had my cervical spinal surgery in ‘91. On doc started the procedure on my neck and the other doc started harvesting the bone from my hip needed for the 2 level fusion. So that was my pair of docs.

I’m not a doctor but that doesn’t sound like it’s great. The very last thing that I’d hope for is a doctor paradox when my spine is involved. Hopefully everything worked out okay!

 

[Edgewater]

My PT was upfront when she said it may not be possible to completely resolve the problem, but we want to go as far as my body will allow. If thats only a 30% improvement, then that's 30% more control than I had before. I'm happy with the progress despite the plateau in progress the last two months.

My PTs main concern is the limits that my polyuria places on my progress. My nephrologist hasn't been able to find the cause of the polyuria (which does NOT play well with OAB), but we've ruled out both kinds of diabetes, kidney disease/failure, and liver problems. He seems to think my kidneys are healthy despite pumping out urine. I'm glad so far the cause isn't anything life-threatening but I'm hoping for an answer beyond "your kidneys just naturally produce a lot of urine." I'm hoping if I gain more control with PT and find a way to limit the polyuria, i might be able to get nearly out of diapers. Or at the very least be done with the never-ending, constant, unrelenting need to go to the bathroom.

I will say I've never heard of daytime cloth but nighttime megamax. But it makes more sense if you're retired. Don't have to worry about changing in the office. How helpful was PT for you?

Never had PT as my U-IC was caused by a car crash resulting in metal entering my lower pelvis region and the surgeries to put my bladder back together and the nerve damager from the metal and surgeries. Today, the reason remains the same, tiny bladder and poor neurological communication. The good part is that I do have dry periods between the bladder releases.

Back 45 years ago, one came home with a hose and bag. With even a limited lifestyle they leaked and my dear wife was not having it and with our young sons cloth diapers and adult plastic pants from the drug store, she diapered me. Within a could have days we were out and about. Disposal diapers sucked big time in those days. So, we learned the in an outs of wearing cloth diapers and plastic pants.

 

[newt]

Never had PT as my U-IC was caused by a car crash resulting in metal entering my lower pelvis region and the surgeries to put my bladder back together and the nerve damager from the metal and surgeries. Today, the reason remains the same, tiny bladder and poor neurological communication. The good part is that I do have dry periods between the bladder releases.

Back 45 years ago, one came home with a hose and bag. With even a limited lifestyle they leaked and my dear wife was not having it and with our young sons cloth diapers and adult plastic pants from the drug store, she diapered me. Within a could have days we were out and about. Disposal diapers sucked big time in those days. So, we learned the in an outs of wearing cloth diapers and plastic pants.

Wow. I’m so sorry to hear that. It must be so hard to go from fully continent to that in a single day. Especially with kids. And especially in a time without great disposables like now.

If I can ask, I’ve always wondered which is worse. So for me I’ve always struggled with bed wetting. Then I slowly transitioned from needing to pee a LOT during the day to some accidents, to megamax. It has sucked but at least I have been familiar with diapers my whole life. But my urologists and nephrologists can’t pinpoint the cause, which makes me feel worse because on the rare occasion someone asks, I can’t give them a great reason. But because of that I always hold out hope MAYBE I can fix my problems.

But with your situation, there is a clear cause. Anyone who asks you can point them to a direct cause. Which is nice. Except nerves can’t be fixed. Like you said no amount of PT can help. You can explain but you can’t resolve. Which must be extremely difficult.

I’ve always hated that when on the occasions my family or friends realize I’m wearing I can’t give them a full answer because I can’t even fully explain it. I also think there might be hope with a treatment only to be thrown back to reality when it fails. But at least I’ve lived with diapers most of my life. You were thrown into it.

Now that I’ve gotten this far I’m not sure what my question actually is besides recognizing how you must have struggled. And my struggle. And all of our struggle here. Is it better to know the cause and not be able to fix it? Or to have unknown problems and deal with crushed hopes? Or are we all just lucky this board exists so we can share our struggles and discuss with people who understand?