Diaper Dependency Reality

[Ellyn]

Hi everyone! I’ve not posted in awhile but now that spring has sprung here in Texas, I somehow acquired an energy infusion and a few minutes to share my thoughts.

I want to take a few minutes to reflect on the realities of being urinary incontinent and dependent on diapers or catheters.

I’ve shared in the past that catheters are not for me and that I’ve worn diapers for most of my life (so far and hope for MANY MORE!). I’ve also shared that I’m not an AB or DL but can assign myself as DOKer (okay with wearing diapers out of necessity).

I’ve also shared that I use cloth diapers 90% of the time for comfort and skin sensitivity to some incontinence products (Tena products for one). I’ve worn cloth diapers for a majority of my life so my supply of diapers (newer, older, thicker, thinner, etc, waterproof pants, and supplies are vast. I also wear disposables and have transitioned into more quality diapers over the years like Northshore, Rearz, InControl, and the like. I also use “medical” quality diapers as well from time to time but they tend to be deficient in many ways, like absorption, fit, bunching, tapes, etc. I use disposable products when cloth diapers are impractical or inconvenient like longer distance travel, overnight stays away from home, occasions when bulk is a concern under fashions, etc. when wearing some form fitting fashions, pull-ups or pads are necessary.

Back to my preference of cloth diapers for a moment…. I wore cloth for the majority of my first 18 years, then disposable for the next 5 years, followed by a mix for the next 5 years. Over the last 15 years, I’ve used cloth most of the time. I am outside in the Texas heat and humidity during the day (as part of my job) much of the time and find disposables quite uncomfortable due to perspiration. I’m able to camouflage the thickness of cloth diapers as I usually wear loose fitting dresses with prints (not plain or stripes!). The fact that I’m 4’ 11” and about 115 pounds with virtually no backside helps to hide the bulk as well and provides the benefit of a pleasingly rounded butt profile. Some here comment on how the bulk between the legs is uncomfortable. For some, that’s probably true but to go with a skinny butt, I also have skinny thighs and wider hips resulting in amply room between my legs for the diaper.

The downside to cloth diapering is obviously the laundry. I do a load of diapers nightly, which takes some time and is hard on the washer and dryer. I change often so the diapers pile up quickly. I stay well hydrated so the urine smell is very mild if washed within a day. The costs of cloth diapering is actually pretty minimal as I have enough supplies to rotate through. I purchase maybe 4 new prefold cloth diapers per year and 1 or 2 new (high quality urethane) pants. I also buy disposables but only maybe 3-4 cases per year plus a few bags of pull-ups and pads so my costs are pretty low. I can’t imaging the costs of wearing quality disposables 24/7!

I have navigated my way through the 44 years with relative ease (so far) and have enjoyed my blessed life with my two amazing boys and loving and supportive husband. Very few are aware of my birth defects and MS and my need for diapers. I’d LOVE to be healthy and normal like some here who choose to wear diapers (not out of need) but I’ll play the cards I was dealt.

 

[Zeke]

Ellyn, who do you purchase your prefolds from and what type of cotton weave are they made from?

 

[Ellyn]

Adult Cloth Diaper (.com)
Birdseye weave
Overnight weight
PUL pants from there too.

Pants from LLMedico (.com)
‘EuroFlex’ urethane pants
More expensive than vinyl but wear forever with care. I use these most often *under medium compression brief*.

 

[RedStripeLvr]

Ellyn, I for one am always eager to read your posts. Your insight, experience, and matter-of-fact approach is inspirational. Thanks for sharing!

 

[diaperdude]

Ellen thanks for sharing. I have recently realized my situation is not going away. I have little control left especially if I try and stay normal hydrated. If I could figure out a way to make cloth diapers work for me I would. I’m just a heavy wetter. Not sure if they would work for me. I still appreciate your willingness to share your experience of cloth diapers. I may try again sometime soon.

 

[Teddy02]

It’s an interesting question about how incontinence creeps up on one. I am accepting of my incontinence and my need to be nappied, but it did come from a DL background. Like so many of us, I was a bedwetter, never a dry night until 12 or nappies from 3, sent to boarding school where I wet, but a bit less, but I guess the desire to be nappied encompassed the need to be dry.
The conflict was that I wanted the nappies but to reconcile that with the need was impossible for my juvenile brain. It also helped that I think I have quite a childish outlook on life. The toys just got bigger (cars, boats and even an aeroplane).
I did, however, come to terms with the inconvenience quite early on and once I had mastered the art of making my own shaped terry nappies and finding a supplier of plastic pants I was much happier and more secure. I also imagine that once I was comfortable with my method of protection, I was not so intimidated with being incontinent.
I now still like to try new products both disposable and updates of my terry nappies. I have a cupboard of plastic (and others) pants rejects and am content with my daytime and night time needs. Even my doctor complimented me on my sewing!!!
Good to read your posts Ellyn, I am sorry you have MS, my wife has had a very mild version for 35 years that thankfully has hardly affected her but for a general weakness down her left hand side. It does not sound like it slows you down at all! Excellent.

 

[SamESpencer]

I am going to start my statement by saying I am incontinent because of complications of type 1 diabetes in the form of whole-body numbness, and MS. On of the realities I feel must be spoke about more when it comes to being dependent on diapers is the cost. Weather you wear disposables or cloth diapers the cost adds up because of the cost of the diapers if you wear disposables or the laundry soap and in my case the cost of using the washing machines and dryers at the laundry mat. I deal with both urinary and fecal IC so I usually am in a disposable because I don't have many comfortable cloth diapers and like dealing with cleaning poop out of cloth diapers. I have looked into having my insurance cover the cost for me but for anyone who is thinking about going down this route remember that most insurances only cover the cheaper and least absorbent diapers and many of those don't have leg guards meaning for me a large messy accidents might leak and even with plastic pants cleanup is horrible.

Along with all I said up above I am also going to give some criticism to the medical community because at least in my case I think this could have been prevented with timely diagnoses, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at the age of 29 but at 22 I had a doctor call me at 6 pm after an appointment to check on me because my blood sugar during a blood test was 59. After that my primary doctor at the time did nothing to follow up though I was hospitalized several times for low blood sugars. Other times I have had very high blood sugars which were not looked into closely. As for the incontinence itself the only thing my doctors did were ask me if I wanted medications for it without looking into a phycological causes this was before my diagnosis with MS at the age of 42 but I refused the medication because I don't take medications for non life threatening conditions which a wet or dirty diaper is not and I even refused medication for my MS which I may come to regret but with my insurance I don't know if they will cover the medication. I will end this long rant by saying that while you may have come to accept your incontinence be sure to check in with your doctor about what is causing it because often incontinence is a symptom of a larger problem.

 

[Ellyn]

Thank you for sharing. I was diagnosed with bladder nerve disconnects and deformed and essentially non-functional sphincter due to birth defects. At 36 I was diagnosed with MS as I was losing my balance, tripping due to weakness in my legs. With meds, I’m doing fine with minor and only occasional weakness or shaking.
I pray to God to help me get through the day sometimes when I feel defeated, and that always helps. My husband is my rock and is always there when I need him. I’m proud to say that I generally feel great now as this site helps me share my feelings with people that understand what I’m going through.

 

[rothpirate]

Adult cloth diaper company prefolds work great as stuffers for Ecoables pocket diapers. Their snap covers are great too as they do 90% of the work holding prefolds in place. A couple of boingo or ABZ fasteners to hold things together and then the cover provides the support, tuck in the diaper under the leak guards and you are good to go. You can change less often as the compression from the cover means more wicking and no pooling or sloshing like a regular diaper cover. My pul pants are at the back of the drawer now.

 

[babyjoe698]

I think this summer might be a very hot one for us in texas

 

[JustMe]

Hi everyone! I’ve not posted in awhile but now that spring has sprung here in Texas, I somehow acquired an energy infusion and a few minutes to share my thoughts.

I want to take a few minutes to reflect on the realities of being urinary incontinent and dependent on diapers or catheters.

I’ve shared in the past that catheters are not for me and that I’ve worn diapers for most of my life (so far and hope for MANY MORE!). I’ve also shared that I’m not an AB or DL but can assign myself as DOKer (okay with wearing diapers out of necessity).

I’ve also shared that I use cloth diapers 90% of the time for comfort and skin sensitivity to some incontinence products (Tena products for one). I’ve worn cloth diapers for a majority of my life so my supply of diapers (newer, older, thicker, thinner, etc, waterproof pants, and supplies are vast. I also wear disposables and have transitioned into more quality diapers over the years like Northshore, Rearz, InControl, and the like. I also use “medical” quality diapers as well from time to time but they tend to be deficient in many ways, like absorption, fit, bunching, tapes, etc. I use disposable products when cloth diapers are impractical or inconvenient like longer distance travel, overnight stays away from home, occasions when bulk is a concern under fashions, etc. when wearing some form fitting fashions, pull-ups or pads are necessary.

Back to my preference of cloth diapers for a moment…. I wore cloth for the majority of my first 18 years, then disposable for the next 5 years, followed by a mix for the next 5 years. Over the last 15 years, I’ve used cloth most of the time. I am outside in the Texas heat and humidity during the day (as part of my job) much of the time and find disposables quite uncomfortable due to perspiration. I’m able to camouflage the thickness of cloth diapers as I usually wear loose fitting dresses with prints (not plain or stripes!). The fact that I’m 4’ 11” and about 115 pounds with virtually no backside helps to hide the bulk as well and provides the benefit of a pleasingly rounded butt profile. Some here comment on how the bulk between the legs is uncomfortable. For some, that’s probably true but to go with a skinny butt, I also have skinny thighs and wider hips resulting in amply room between my legs for the diaper.

The downside to cloth diapering is obviously the laundry. I do a load of diapers nightly, which takes some time and is hard on the washer and dryer. I change often so the diapers pile up quickly. I stay well hydrated so the urine smell is very mild if washed within a day. The costs of cloth diapering is actually pretty minimal as I have enough supplies to rotate through. I purchase maybe 4 new prefold cloth diapers per year and 1 or 2 new (high quality urethane) pants. I also buy disposables but only maybe 3-4 cases per year plus a few bags of pull-ups and pads so my costs are pretty low. I can’t imaging the costs of wearing quality disposables 24/7!

I have navigated my way through the 44 years with relative ease (so far) and have enjoyed my blessed life with my two amazing boys and loving and supportive husband. Very few are aware of my birth defects and MS and my need for diapers. I’d LOVE to be healthy and normal like some here who choose to wear diapers (not out of need) but I’ll play the cards I was dealt.

@Ellyn! What can I say, but WOW! What a great summation of diaper dependence reality! And your summation says it all: "play the cards I was dealt". And while I don't know much about MS challenges, for just the strictly incontinent and who have no choice but to manage incontinence, then you are right: play the cards and deal with the new reality.

Yes, incon folks have to do things differently than those who just use the bathroom. But it doesn't limit us or (worse yet) define us. We just adjust like many people on this earth with some sort of "difference". And after some trial and error, one can find a pattern/routine that works for them.

Like you, I too have managed my way thru nearly two decades of incontinence with ease (after the first year of trying to cope and get a routine going). I'm blessed by a great wife, family, and living life as if I had no issues! I am thankful for all the resources we have at our disposal!

 

[leafgoalie]

Hi everyone! I’ve not posted in awhile but now that spring has sprung here in Texas, I somehow acquired an energy infusion and a few minutes to share my thoughts.

I want to take a few minutes to reflect on the realities of being urinary incontinent and dependent on diapers or catheters.

I’ve shared in the past that catheters are not for me and that I’ve worn diapers for most of my life (so far and hope for MANY MORE!). I’ve also shared that I’m not an AB or DL but can assign myself as DOKer (okay with wearing diapers out of necessity).

I’ve also shared that I use cloth diapers 90% of the time for comfort and skin sensitivity to some incontinence products (Tena products for one). I’ve worn cloth diapers for a majority of my life so my supply of diapers (newer, older, thicker, thinner, etc, waterproof pants, and supplies are vast. I also wear disposables and have transitioned into more quality diapers over the years like Northshore, Rearz, InControl, and the like. I also use “medical” quality diapers as well from time to time but they tend to be deficient in many ways, like absorption, fit, bunching, tapes, etc. I use disposable products when cloth diapers are impractical or inconvenient like longer distance travel, overnight stays away from home, occasions when bulk is a concern under fashions, etc. when wearing some form fitting fashions, pull-ups or pads are necessary.

Back to my preference of cloth diapers for a moment…. I wore cloth for the majority of my first 18 years, then disposable for the next 5 years, followed by a mix for the next 5 years. Over the last 15 years, I’ve used cloth most of the time. I am outside in the Texas heat and humidity during the day (as part of my job) much of the time and find disposables quite uncomfortable due to perspiration. I’m able to camouflage the thickness of cloth diapers as I usually wear loose fitting dresses with prints (not plain or stripes!). The fact that I’m 4’ 11” and about 115 pounds with virtually no backside helps to hide the bulk as well and provides the benefit of a pleasingly rounded butt profile. Some here comment on how the bulk between the legs is uncomfortable. For some, that’s probably true but to go with a skinny butt, I also have skinny thighs and wider hips resulting in amply room between my legs for the diaper.

The downside to cloth diapering is obviously the laundry. I do a load of diapers nightly, which takes some time and is hard on the washer and dryer. I change often so the diapers pile up quickly. I stay well hydrated so the urine smell is very mild if washed within a day. The costs of cloth diapering is actually pretty minimal as I have enough supplies to rotate through. I purchase maybe 4 new prefold cloth diapers per year and 1 or 2 new (high quality urethane) pants. I also buy disposables but only maybe 3-4 cases per year plus a few bags of pull-ups and pads so my costs are pretty low. I can’t imaging the costs of wearing quality disposables 24/7!

I have navigated my way through the 44 years with relative ease (so far) and have enjoyed my blessed life with my two amazing boys and loving and supportive husband. Very few are aware of my birth defects and MS and my need for diapers. I’d LOVE to be healthy and normal like some here who choose to wear diapers (not out of need) but I’ll play the cards I was dealt.

I also like cloth diapers with plastic pants, especially at night. They are more difficult to disguise as a male during the day, but if you are not a heavy wetter, it can be done. All the best to you on your journey, and thank you for your contributions to the community!

 

[Edgewater]

As always good friend, thank you for your excellent discussion regarding Incontinence. As always you are right-on-point regarding coming to acceptance of wearing diapers and of course your excellent definition: "okay with wearing diapers, out of necessity".

From time to time, the darkness floats near the edge, but rarely any further. Those wonderful days that nothing seems to work correctly. And, commonly require that reminder that diapers are allowing me to be out and about and doing my part in keeping the area around me drier than it would be!

 

[Ellyn]

Thank you again for your very kind words and support! It’s people like YOU that brightens every darkening day. I truly look forward to your insight and very positive outlook!

 

[SamESpencer]

Thank you again for your very kind words and support! It’s people like YOU that brightens every darkening day. I truly look forward to your insight and very positive outlook!

It is my pleasure, having a community to discuss issues about incontinence without judgement is very hard to find. The hardest part about having a medical condition is when you don't have anyone to talk to about the daily struggles which can lead a person down dark paths and many get lost. While doctors may be able to help with the physiological problems it is often the psychological issues and loneliness that do the most harm. Consider yourself really lucky to have your faith and your family because they are the sturdiest armors against anything life will throw at you.

 

[Diaperman95]

You are always a breath of fresh air. I love to see more non abdl incontinent people getting support here. You are so blessed to have your husband in your life. I know my wife is my rock too. She has helped clean up my messes more times than I can count. A good supportive partner always makes having challenging medical conditions easier.

My wife is in a chair next to me in the ER as we speak. I think I had a bladder infection get into my kidney. Waiting to see. We finally got the migraine and vomiting to stop. Getting my fluids topped off now. After spending 10 days the start of last month in the hospital for a blood infection I am so ready to be done with hospitals. I hope I can go home but I am not holding my breath.

But I always enjoy your post. A no nonsense Texas girl. .

I wear mega max daily. I buy 2 cases a month and it is very expensive. I have been thinking about going cloth at night maybe. I have been incontinent most my life as well. Also having a lot of neurological issues. They suspect MS but my ANA markers never show nothing. I can not have a MRI to confirm due to my gastric pacemaker

 

[Fiammaverde]

If I try for a moment to get into your... shoes (I was thinking, into a different piece of clothing, but that would have been inappropriate), then I would say cloth diapers may work better than disposable for whoever is not having bowel issues, is still physically active enough to run the extra laundry and lives in a not-too-quiet, not-too-formal-clothing type of environment.

It also probably works better for ladies than for gents.

 

[Edgewater]

Cloth diapers for general IC use require the use of a liner material that helps shield the cloth diaper from the stains of F-IC. But, as disposable diapers rule in today's World, that product becomes ever more difficult to find.

 

[Soggy247]

I tried cloth diapers years ago but i just couldn't keep the odour under control. They tended to leave me smelly, very quickly. My x stopped me using them because she said thay i always had a pee odour about me, and that was with good fitting polyurethane pants. Now i live in tena active fit, both maxi and ultima, usuallu with a booster and plastics.

 

[greatlake5]

Regardless of when we became IC, the main key is how we manage them. As diapers being the most reliable usage, whether they are cloth or disposable, diapers are used to manage for the majority IC folks. For myself, I use disposables (Abena [plastic backed]), quality boosters (NS eternadry contour), cloth (Ecoable snap-on) along with plastic pants (when needed). IC didn't creep up recently. I've been here in the beginning.
So it's not a surprise. I've never really had any other option. Believe me, I've tried just about everything suggested. They either don't work or uncomfortable (or both). Since I also experience F-IC, when using cloth I always include disposables together. My main diaper is disposable (for night sleeping BM's) and usually during the day. I like Ecoable cloth diaper for physical activity (golf, tennis and softball). As an insert I simply add the NS contour booster so I use a combination of cloth and disposable. I don't really have any problem with laundry since my cleaning lady does the washing (thank you for my great cleaning lady!). I've accepted my diaper dependency long ago. And of course I understand the reality of wearing a diaper.