Dating

[AlecThickly]

So just curious how you guys find dating while also being incontinent?

I've had no luck whatsoever and it's really starting to get to me but I feel like it's even worse on the gay scene then for straight people, but I'm obviously just assuming.

 

[ChrisChris]

i feel the opposite. All my gay flings where ok with my diapers. In fact the last guy i dated thought it was hot and would get all grabby. honestly best thing you could do is just be you and put yourself out there.

 

[AlecThickly]

Wow, that's great!
I tried to but it doesn't seem to work I honestly have no luck when it comes to dating..
When do you tend to bring it up or do you just let them kind of discover it? lol

 

[ChrisChris]

Wow, that's great!
I tried to but it doesn't seem to work I honestly have no luck when it comes to dating..
When do you tend to bring it up or do you just let them kind of discover it? lol

i let them just discover it. Kinda have to tho cuz i wet the bed and i don't want to ruin their bed or mine haha. I dont wear my abdl stuff on dates tho. if im home i might slip into something a little bit more little but thats never disturbed any of the guys i know. if anything they think its for play lol. best thing ya can do is just be you i think :3

 

[AlecThickly]

That's great, I'm glad it works out well for you and I guess you're right.
I'm probably just overthinking it as it's been Valentine's Day tomorrow and I'm single yet again lol (insert worlds smallest violin)

 

[ChrisChris]

It's not your fault tho, i dont know of any guys that have been together for more than a handful of years. Im sorry that your feeling lonely but know that were all hear just a key stroke away.

 

[AlecThickly]

Aww thanks

 

[YammsterDL]

I am just getting into a relationship. Only been 2 weeks. Not sure if I should let her know up front or wait. It seems to be going so well at this moment. I would hate for her to come over and find my stash. I have been afraid to get serious for this reason. Also concerned on building a good relationship then have her not accept me.

 

[AlecThickly]

Wow, that's difficult. I guess it's a case of is she going to find out eventually?
Example there's no way I could be in a relationship without my boyfriend knowing because of me needing to wear, but if you haven't got that then I'm sure you can keep it separate until you feel that she accepting

 

[YammsterDL]

Wow, that's difficult. I guess it's a case of is she going to find out eventually?
Example there's no way I could be in a relationship without my boyfriend knowing because of me needing to wear, but if you haven't got that then I'm sure you can keep it separate until you feel that she accepting

Makes sense. It would lift a big weight off my shoulder if she accepted or even tolerated it. I have been in the closet for 42 years so a few more wont hurt.

 

[AlecThickly]

Honestly, I think if she cares enough about you, she will understand.

 

[InconLifer]

No luck here but to be fair I haven’t been actively looking. It’s been hard enough to find social groups that meet in wheelchair accessible places so any socialising has been difficult.

I am trying to get back out there and am going to some LGBTQ+ meet ups soon for the first time in years as I’ve finally found ones that work location/accessibility wise. I’d just have to own it I think. My incontinence is at the level where I couldn’t try and hide it as without protection I’d be soaked all the time.

Whilst it’s easily the most embarrassing aspect of my condition and the thing that can get me down the most, the cognitive issues and fatigue I think would cause more issues re relationship as in practical terms they’re the most problematic.

 

[TrueHero]

I’m not IC, but I heard some good advice when it comes to dating and relationships applicable to any kind of pairing. Work on making yourself as good as you can. Make yourself the kind of person that is attractive to the kind of person you’re attracted to. Then it’s not about hunting for the right person, you’re going to attract the right person naturally.
And if your avatar is reflective of how you look, you’re probably on the right track.
Like has been said, if they’re a person of quality, diapers shouldn’t make much of a difference and potentially even be a point of positive interaction in the future.
Good luck. Someone who loves you will find you someday.

 

[greatlake5]

So just curious how you guys find dating while also being incontinent?

I've always been IC. It's almost impossible to date someone when you wear a diaper. Of course I did have a few dates but most of them weren't serious. I remember when I had this one girl. She was kind of drunk at the time and really horny. We actually had sex (my first one) in my dorm in college. The next morning she saw that I was wearing a diaper. At first she was kind of shocked and then she giggled and laughed. That was the end of that. So I'm sure most IC people see how difficult it is to date someone.

After I graduated from grad school and worked for my father, I finally moved to another state (Michigan right on Lake Michigan). I've been here over 5 years but rarely date. I do have a group of friends and in one particular girl I spent a lot of time. We played tennis and golf along with biking almost every weekend. I never thought it would be serious. I've only told a few friends that I was IC but not her. Our group was having dinner in a pub/bar. Later in the evening she started to ask me what I considered private and personal. She said that she never saw me go to the bathroom (oops). Finally she asked if I was wearing a diaper. After a while I had to admit that yes, I'm incontinent and I wear a diaper (we were talking quietly between us). After a while she said it wasn't a big deal. As it turned out she had a crush on me for a long time. Really?

To make a long story short, she has been my partner for over a year. She's not afraid of my diaper and knows that it's never been an issue. The whole point is that you never know when someone might be interested for you. Sometimes you just have to open up yourself. It's never easy. But it's worth it.

 

[Tom29303]

I am with Alec.. not sure if it’s my age or that I am UI .. Just moved to SC and I don’t know anyone.. I would really like to find a group…