Can't decide use the toilet or my diaper

[Raven801]

So sitting here eating which always kicks my ibs off and when it comes to bm's I don't get much notice and I always find my self as I'm eating making a plan to either hang out by the bathroom or just be lazy and go downstairs and play on my computer or watch TV knowing from there I probably won't make it... So a lot of times I'm like heck with it I'm stuck in diapers..use it and don't sweat it and other times I'm like nope I'm making it to the toilet. It like this little internal argument with my self as odd as that sounds. Am I the only one who does this ? Granted it's not always up to me as sometimes I get like no notice and I'm always in diapers because I'm UC anyways. Anyways thanks for your input everyone

 

[hbic60]

Raven,
although only being bladder incontinent I can feel with you. I had those "internal discussions" with myself a lot at the beginning of my IC. Having urge incontinence, but also combined with uncontrollable little dribbling IC (not permanent, but quite often) I had to wear protection anyways full-time. I started with thin pull-up style and the firm will to use the toilet as often and much as possible whenever the urge came up. I found very soon that with that behavior I spent my life more or less around managing my IC instead of living my life so I allowed myself more and more often to use my protection (which I had to wear anyway because of my dribbling) and switched over to more absorbent products so that I can manage my IC with regularly only two diapers over the day, even if I won't make it to the toilet at all. This enhanced significantly my quality of life! I'm now in the position that it is really upon my current mood and depending what I'm just doing if the urge hits - sprint to a toilet or decide to continue what I'm doing and simply use my diaper. This doesn't lead to big "internal discussions" any more, I just do what Im fine with in that particular moment, and it's sometimes this or the other.
This refers only for my bladder. On the other end I don't have any issues at all, and for that I always use the toilet. It didn't happen up to now that I had an urgent need for BM without being able to use comfortably the toilet. I could imagine that once if a situation comes up that I have a very strong urge there without any possible toilet access that I could allow myself a release in my diapers, but this is nothing I would wish for or which I would prefer. I'm sorry for you that you have to deal with that kind of incontinence - it's more difficult to handle than "only" bladder IC, but of course it's manageable, and it's for sure nothing to be ashamed of or something that should prevent you from living a happy life!

 

[CheshireCat]

@Raven801 I started having fecal accidents on rare occasion a few years ago. Initially when it happened, there was no warning, and I didn't even realize it other than sensing the external sensation in my diaper. Very disconcerting.

A year ago it became much worse, but not unexpectedly according to my gastroenterologist, but as a result of cancer radiation treatments a decade ago. I'm seeing a cancer specialized physical therapist and working on my diet.

Meanwhile, I am still fairly regular, meaning I have my BM in the morning within an hour after eating breakfast. Most of the time I get a sense that I need to go and in less than a minute I go; I have no control in holding it.

In the past, I have always gotten up in the morning, stayed in my bedtime diaper while I had tea and breakfast, and then showered. With the IBS, I was finding that too many times I did not have enough time to get my pajama bottoms and diaper off before I was already evacuating. And having chronic colitis it is always really bad for clean up. So I changed my routine; shower first, then wear a pull-up and PJ bottoms and sit on a bed pad while having breakfast. The pull-ups were efficient when I made it to the toilet in time, but a disaster when I didn't. Now I was dealing with dirty PJ bottoms and sometimes a bed pad.

So, I've gone back to my old routine of staying in my bedtime diaper until nature calls. If I make it to the toilet, no cleanup required. If I don't, the least messy cleanup required. And I'm good with that.

 

[Pantyman]

I have occasional ibs. Generally I can tell when an episode is coming and I will run to the bathroom. But there are times where I have not even tried to go to the bathroom and just blasted my diaper. Except for the cleanup it is a rather pleasing experience .

 

[Raven801]

I have occasional ibs. Generally I can tell when an episode is coming and I will run to the bathroom. But there are times where I have not even tried to go to the bathroom and just blasted my diaper. Except for the cleanup it is a rather pleasing experience .

In a way it seems when I decide I'm taking time off from even trying to make it can be sort of pleasing as there is no expectation of trying to make it so there is no frustration no feeling of failure and no severe pain or discomfort trying to hold it back and once you get used to dealing with cleanup and get over the whole societal training of it's gross ...it can feel oddly pleasant when it happens in a odd way just the instant relief alone.... Taking time off from the toilet in my situation can be healthy physically and mentally. I find myself doing it more frequently and more often...but there are still times when my IC makes me wanna scream or magically turn invisible as I do manage to find myself in embarrassing situations but that life I suppose.