After years of fighting... I learn to accept my ABDL side

[dl4love]

I think it's easier for me to accept that I'm ABDL even if I still have trouble accepting that side. I tried many times to quit, I threw away a lot of diapers packs and clothes (probably several hundred euros) but my ABDL side comes back every time (binge cycle).

I noticed that since I started to accept this side, I am more confident in certain situations :

I used to be afraid to go out at night to empty the bins with trash bags full of diapers, I was ashamed because I live in an apartment and I didn't want that my neighbors can guess I wear diapers. I was also embarrassed when a diapers ads was shown on TV.

Now I don't care

I still have trouble keeping my diaper on after masturbating, I feel disgusting but this time, I don't throw away my ABDL stuff.

Do you have any advice on how to progress (acceptance)?

 

[sarahlovesdiapers]

No better way at it than acceptance

 

[LainIsLain]

I imagine most folks here would say that self acceptance is a unique road we must travel, and any specific advice would be worth as much as you paying for it, because we're all so different!

Having compassion for yourself is key I think. Understanding that these urges and behaviors are no real harm to anyone. You may notice that alone the way, careful avoidance and shame around things like diaper aisles and commercials become playful and welcome moments throughout your day.

I live with a roommate that knows I wear diapers. He's accepting but I go out of my way to not make things obvious. I still wait until late in the night to take my diapers to the trash so my neighbors don't see.

I still have trouble keeping my diaper on after masturbating, I feel disgusting but this time, I don't throw away my ABDL stuff.

For ABDL's, sex and diapers can be linked at a fundamental level. The shame you feel is very common but you should try your best to have compassion for yourself in these matters. As long as your being safe and sanitary, your not harming anyone. Everything in between is a negotiation with yourself on how you want to feel about it.

You said "keeping my diaper on after masturbating". I take that to mean after an orgasm, you feel less inclined to wear a diaper for "reasons"? This is the case for me in that my urge to wear a diaper subsides after a sexual climax. Even enough to go without a diaper for my bed time. The "disgusting" feeling is more complicated and is linked to the shame part, but can be reinforced simply from the sexual release.

We are very complicated beings and I wish you the best for your self acceptance!

 

[littlesteps]

It gets easier and easier.
Love who you are, wierd bits and all.

 

[HappyPixels]

Being around others like you are a great way to learn to accept how you are. It's hard to feel weird in diapers when everyone you talk to loves them.

 

[Lyric]

Most of us who love wearing diapers and using them have struggled with acceptance, both our own and our SOs. I found that at some point I understood that my desire to wear diapers was not going away, despite my off and on efforts to stop. At that point I decided that being an DL was part of who I am, and would wear diapers when I wanted to and still engage with the world around me. During the busy years of career and family building my need to wear diapers wasn't all consuming, too much going on with my life, so I wore when I the time to enjoy it. As I got older, I had more free time, and my desires to be diapered increased so I wore more often, no longer punished myself and just enjoyed.

 

[dl4love]

Being around others like you are a great way to learn to accept how you are. It's hard to feel weird in diapers when everyone you talk to loves them.

I think about more to meet other ABDL IRL, in the past I can't even imagine that !

 

[TabulaRasa2017]

dl4love, it sounds like you are on a good path -- that of love and acceptance of yourself and your ABDL side/desires. As most people in our community will tell you, these desires never go away, so learning to accept them and find healthy outlets for yourself are some of the first steps on the path to feeling okay with yourself. And, like you say, meeting other ABDL folks in real life can be extremely helpful - it was for me!

Be well,

Tab

 

[chrischrischris]

I try being so called normal what ever that is, I've given in long time ago, it's me and stuffie and that's it

 

[BenNevis]

I'm so pleased to hear that you're being more open to accepting this side of yourself.

It's not something that comes easily. It's something which takes a lot of time and patience.

Being an ABDL isn't something that is just going to magically go away, it's a part of ourselves that we need to treat kindly and learn to accept and it's wonderful to hear that you've been able to reach a point of accepting it.

It took me years and many binge and purge cycles, but now I'm quite comfortable with that side of myself and it's something I've come to embrance rather than try and tear myself down over.

 

[lian]

Alone, reading all these answers has a healing effect. After 40 years I am still surprised how much our feelings are similar. For all the differences in detail, it seems that we share soo much. Reading your responses makes me feel much less alone and I feel that it is possible to love my diapers and my wife. And of course myself. I am thankful that all of you are here and that sites like this exists

 

[chrischrischris]

Little for ever yay can't take this away from me,teddy love is the best love never let's me down , what ever happens teddy is still there for me

 

[BenNevis]

Little for ever yay can't take this away from me,teddy love is the best love never let's me down , what ever happens teddy is still there for me

This chimes with me particularly. I used to harbour so much shame about something as simple and innocuous as having a cuddly toy.

I'm grown to the point where I love having him with me and can't sleep without him. Losing all the shame around it has allowed him to do what he does best: give me snuggules, make me feel little, comfort me, make me feel safe and help me sleep.

Getting to that point of just being able to let you little side be without needing to make excuses for it or feel ashamed over it allows being little to be something healing and restorative for people.

 

[abdl86]

Yes i have kind of accepting this part of my self to. I newer going to be able to stop liking to wear diapers. I have try many times but the feeling that something is missing is very strong.

 

[chrischrischris]

This chimes with me particularly. I used to harbour so much shame about something as simple and innocuous as having a cuddly toy.

I'm grown to the point where I love having him with me and can't sleep without him. Losing all the shame around it has allowed him to do what he does best: give me snuggules, make me feel little, comfort me, make me feel safe and help me sleep.

Getting to that point of just being able to let you little side be without needing to make excuses for it or feel ashamed over it allows being little to be something healing and restorative for people.

Yes a work person wanted to move in with me for 6 weeks while he moved house, wasn't prepared to give teddy up , so told him I was abld , no way in hell am I going to hide teddy I love teddy so much nothing will stand in our way, he was okay with it

 

[caitianx]

Yes.
It took a long time to accept my "Little" side of myself.
Binged.
Purged.
Multiple times.
Decided to accept myself after decades of internal torment regarding wanting to be a baby again.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

Three years ago, I gave in to wearing diapers and to baby life...and for extra measure, went baby girl after seeing a white AB babydoll dress from Big Tots on Etsy...I saw it and my heart broke wide open for it. Bought it, got it, put it on...instant peace & happiness. Now it's wet diapers, full bottles, a binky on stand-by, adorable dresses & diaper covers, sweet frilly socks, cute shoes...all girl. With a surprising secret in her diaper...

Life opens up when you dare to let go.

 

[robertabdl74]

I accepted it after I found a good balance Of play vers real life. And accepting that my ambition to become a bedwetter disbight never having a ishue as a child. I accepted that someone else's worst nightmare that they would do just about anything to stop was my goal. something I day dreamed about. I stoped dreaming and started living my life as if I was a bed wetter. I haven't been to bed with out a diaper on in over 20 years. About 10 years agaio after alot of practicing I stoped thinking about it. I just do. It just makes me happy to get up every morning in a wet diaper.and occasionally wet sheets... And I don't care I'm an adult who wets his night time diapers and enjoys daytime diapers from time to time

 

[BabyTommie]

Self acceptance is the main thing. Wearing diapers more will help too.

 

[SparkyDog]

I think it's easier for me to accept that I'm ABDL even if I still have trouble accepting that side. I tried many times to quit, I threw away a lot of diapers packs and clothes (probably several hundred euros) but my ABDL side comes back every time (binge cycle).

I noticed that since I started to accept this side, I am more confident in certain situations :

I used to be afraid to go out at night to empty the bins with trash bags full of diapers, I was ashamed because I live in an apartment and I didn't want that my neighbors can guess I wear diapers. I was also embarrassed when a diapers ads was shown on TV.

Now I don't care

I still have trouble keeping my diaper on after masturbating, I feel disgusting but this time, I don't throw away my ABDL stuff.

Do you have any advice on how to progress (acceptance)?

the purge method seems to be popular! I did the same in my early adult years countless garbage bags of diapers. Still sad about it. I threw away so many vintage plastic Pampers

While I've rebuilt my collection and accepted who I am I still miss what I threw away