LittleMissPink
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- Diaper Lover
- Sissy
PLEASE NOTE: I am NOT endorsing someone making themselves incontinent. Rather I am talking about why so many (including myself) have had thoughts about and half-wishing we were incontinent. In this post I offer my insight to why I think that may be the case.
Many ABDL's have at some point thought or wished that they were incontinent and I think one of the reasons that this appeals to so many ABDLs and to myself included is that we feel ashamed and guilty of our desire to wear nappies. This has been said in another book I've read (can't remember where) but I agree entirely - ABDL's have these strong and deep desires that we didn't ask for but feel invalidated by society if we try to pursue them. We feel guilty. We feel like we shouldn't be wearing nappies because we're in someway delegitimising those that need to wear due to a medical issue or that we are 'taking away' their nappies. I've even heard some normies use this argument to shame us.
But what does it mean to be a Diaper/Nappy Lover? Ordinary people would (and understandably so) assume Diaper Lover means someone who just 'wants' to wear them as if it were only some twisted and unusual hobby or interest. Not only is this wrong (at least to me as my desires are much more than that) but this view will also evoke a feeling of disgust, contempt or bewilderment from anyone outside of our community who hears this. E.g. ''Who would want to wear a nappy? Eww…"
Since my need for nappies 'isn't a medical condition' I feel the intense need to hide it from everyone and walk on eggshells so I don't accidentally 'push my fetishes on others'. Even in the ABDL community there are those that agree and say we should do extra to not expose ourselves compared to that of those who are medically incontinent. Or maybe because of our own guilt we just naturally come to this conclusion on our own. Regardless, this leads to an internal pressure within us to not push it on employers (by wearing to work), family and friends (by wearing around family or telling them) or even the general public (by wearing discreetly under our clothes) because of course 'fetishes should never be pushed on non-consenting people'.
But for continent ABDL's this way of thinking induces an internal repulsive pressure dissuading us from wearing nappies that would not be felt from someone who is medically incontinent. Sure those that are medically incontinent might still feel shame and embarrassment, but that's a different type of shame. That's shame relating to the wearing of a nappy itself, we (continent people) would in addition, feel shame in just allowing or giving permission to ourselves to wear them.
Despite this, in essence the statement is right; fetishes shouldn't be pushed onto non-consenting people. But that's the problem. This isn't just a fetish to me it's so much more, it's my identity and they (the ordinary public) will never understand the insatiable urge to associate myself with such a piece of clothing. Or how strongly the attraction is and when wearing how secure, safe and happy it makes me feel.
Continent ABDL's who wear nappies do so for a number a reasons but our reasons aren't seen to be 'valid' enough for ordinary society or sometimes even ourselves. To see this divide let's examine a situation. Let's say I did genuinely wet the bed or I needed (because of medical reasons) to wear nappies during the day, most in the ABDL community would without a second thought agree it's perfectly acceptable for me to tell work, friends and family about it where needed. But if I need to tell any of those groups about my nappy wearing when I only 'want to wear them'? Well the response from the ABDL community is usually not as encouraging. The response may more likely be in the form of 'hide it' or 'don't wear while you visit/work' or 'find some other way but don't tell them'.
Let's consider a more detailed example to illustrate - if I wish to tell my family when visiting I wear nappies because I like them, the support in this community would be rather low for me doing that. But if I'm a bedwetter and propose doing the same thing e.g. tell my family when visiting that I have bedwetting issues, am seeing a doctor and need to wear protection so they should also consider putting a bedwetting sheet on? Apparently that's perfectly fine to talk about. People who wear nappies for medical reasons are 'allowed' to be honest and free about who they are (I know it's not always easy for them to admit this but at least they've got a scientific diagnosable reason to back them). But when it comes to people like me who wear due to psychological reasons, we are forced to hide in the dark and be beaten up with shame and disgust from others or from our own internal thoughts.
Those that wear due to a medical condition also gain one other thing many people in this community so desperately desire - acceptance. Normal ordinary society 'gets' and understands medical conditions that cause adults to wear nappies and so if they see me wearing a nappy for those reasons, they respond with empathy or at least respect. However if they know I only wear them because I 'want to' then they might instead respond with disgust or contempt. We continent ABDLs are forever held hostage by the idea that someone may find out 'we are a fraud' and hate us for it.
Even in public where none are the wiser about the true reason anyone is wearing a nappy we (continent ABDL people) still know, I still know. People like me still know that we aren't wearing for medical reasons and so are still plagued with constant internal self-shaming throughout our wearing duration. Even if others unknowingly accept our nappy wearing, we don't accept it ourselves. This results in us feeling guilty and that we're abusing those around us by potentially exposing them to seeing our bulge, crinkle or a peak of our nappy under our clothes when we didn't 'need to'. We brutally beat ourselves up over potentially pushing our 'fetish' onto non-consenting people and that only adds to the stress, anxiety and depressive nature of our overall mental health.
So because of my continence and my peculiar attraction to nappies that I didn't ask for, I get neither acceptance from ordinary society nor the freedom to just be honest about who I am to others who may accidentally stumble across it or need to know. It's realisations like this that cause me to wish I were incontinent at times or at least a bedwetter so I may gain some kind of validation from others about my nappy wearing. This is something I believe all ABDL's who aren't incontinent feel at least at some point. This lack of acceptance may even lead some of us to self harm by attempting to physically make ourselves incontinent just to gain some amount of acceptance and honesty about our wearing and put this internal struggle to ease.
So, that's where I'm at in my understanding of all this and I hope others are able to understand and learn too from what I've written. Because understanding where our deep feelings of shame, anxiety, lack of validation and lack of self worth are coming from is the first step in feeling truer to who we all are. I would hope that society and the world learns to accept us as we are and we do eventually gain that validation and freedom that we desire but I fear it may still be a while away. So until then the best we can do is learn more about ourselves and ensure we don't treat each other the way ordinary society may treat us today.
One more thing. None of this said is meant to in any way suggest that 'incontinent people have it easier'. No. It's merely highlighting some differences in incontinent people that we continent people may find attractive and what would cause us to do so. No one should make themselves incontinent nor do I endorse it but I can't deny that when the despair and shame gets tough these thoughts do occur.
TLDR: Incontinent nappy wearers have some positive qualities that continent ABDLs don't - that being acceptance and honesty about their wearing. These qualities are rather attractive for our community and is the reason I believe that some wish to 'make themselves incontinent' so they have that validation and acceptance in their need to wear a nappy that they don't get being continent. Learning of why this is the case will help all of us become better at accepting ourselves.
Many ABDL's have at some point thought or wished that they were incontinent and I think one of the reasons that this appeals to so many ABDLs and to myself included is that we feel ashamed and guilty of our desire to wear nappies. This has been said in another book I've read (can't remember where) but I agree entirely - ABDL's have these strong and deep desires that we didn't ask for but feel invalidated by society if we try to pursue them. We feel guilty. We feel like we shouldn't be wearing nappies because we're in someway delegitimising those that need to wear due to a medical issue or that we are 'taking away' their nappies. I've even heard some normies use this argument to shame us.
But what does it mean to be a Diaper/Nappy Lover? Ordinary people would (and understandably so) assume Diaper Lover means someone who just 'wants' to wear them as if it were only some twisted and unusual hobby or interest. Not only is this wrong (at least to me as my desires are much more than that) but this view will also evoke a feeling of disgust, contempt or bewilderment from anyone outside of our community who hears this. E.g. ''Who would want to wear a nappy? Eww…"
Since my need for nappies 'isn't a medical condition' I feel the intense need to hide it from everyone and walk on eggshells so I don't accidentally 'push my fetishes on others'. Even in the ABDL community there are those that agree and say we should do extra to not expose ourselves compared to that of those who are medically incontinent. Or maybe because of our own guilt we just naturally come to this conclusion on our own. Regardless, this leads to an internal pressure within us to not push it on employers (by wearing to work), family and friends (by wearing around family or telling them) or even the general public (by wearing discreetly under our clothes) because of course 'fetishes should never be pushed on non-consenting people'.
But for continent ABDL's this way of thinking induces an internal repulsive pressure dissuading us from wearing nappies that would not be felt from someone who is medically incontinent. Sure those that are medically incontinent might still feel shame and embarrassment, but that's a different type of shame. That's shame relating to the wearing of a nappy itself, we (continent people) would in addition, feel shame in just allowing or giving permission to ourselves to wear them.
Despite this, in essence the statement is right; fetishes shouldn't be pushed onto non-consenting people. But that's the problem. This isn't just a fetish to me it's so much more, it's my identity and they (the ordinary public) will never understand the insatiable urge to associate myself with such a piece of clothing. Or how strongly the attraction is and when wearing how secure, safe and happy it makes me feel.
Continent ABDL's who wear nappies do so for a number a reasons but our reasons aren't seen to be 'valid' enough for ordinary society or sometimes even ourselves. To see this divide let's examine a situation. Let's say I did genuinely wet the bed or I needed (because of medical reasons) to wear nappies during the day, most in the ABDL community would without a second thought agree it's perfectly acceptable for me to tell work, friends and family about it where needed. But if I need to tell any of those groups about my nappy wearing when I only 'want to wear them'? Well the response from the ABDL community is usually not as encouraging. The response may more likely be in the form of 'hide it' or 'don't wear while you visit/work' or 'find some other way but don't tell them'.
Let's consider a more detailed example to illustrate - if I wish to tell my family when visiting I wear nappies because I like them, the support in this community would be rather low for me doing that. But if I'm a bedwetter and propose doing the same thing e.g. tell my family when visiting that I have bedwetting issues, am seeing a doctor and need to wear protection so they should also consider putting a bedwetting sheet on? Apparently that's perfectly fine to talk about. People who wear nappies for medical reasons are 'allowed' to be honest and free about who they are (I know it's not always easy for them to admit this but at least they've got a scientific diagnosable reason to back them). But when it comes to people like me who wear due to psychological reasons, we are forced to hide in the dark and be beaten up with shame and disgust from others or from our own internal thoughts.
Those that wear due to a medical condition also gain one other thing many people in this community so desperately desire - acceptance. Normal ordinary society 'gets' and understands medical conditions that cause adults to wear nappies and so if they see me wearing a nappy for those reasons, they respond with empathy or at least respect. However if they know I only wear them because I 'want to' then they might instead respond with disgust or contempt. We continent ABDLs are forever held hostage by the idea that someone may find out 'we are a fraud' and hate us for it.
Even in public where none are the wiser about the true reason anyone is wearing a nappy we (continent ABDL people) still know, I still know. People like me still know that we aren't wearing for medical reasons and so are still plagued with constant internal self-shaming throughout our wearing duration. Even if others unknowingly accept our nappy wearing, we don't accept it ourselves. This results in us feeling guilty and that we're abusing those around us by potentially exposing them to seeing our bulge, crinkle or a peak of our nappy under our clothes when we didn't 'need to'. We brutally beat ourselves up over potentially pushing our 'fetish' onto non-consenting people and that only adds to the stress, anxiety and depressive nature of our overall mental health.
So because of my continence and my peculiar attraction to nappies that I didn't ask for, I get neither acceptance from ordinary society nor the freedom to just be honest about who I am to others who may accidentally stumble across it or need to know. It's realisations like this that cause me to wish I were incontinent at times or at least a bedwetter so I may gain some kind of validation from others about my nappy wearing. This is something I believe all ABDL's who aren't incontinent feel at least at some point. This lack of acceptance may even lead some of us to self harm by attempting to physically make ourselves incontinent just to gain some amount of acceptance and honesty about our wearing and put this internal struggle to ease.
So, that's where I'm at in my understanding of all this and I hope others are able to understand and learn too from what I've written. Because understanding where our deep feelings of shame, anxiety, lack of validation and lack of self worth are coming from is the first step in feeling truer to who we all are. I would hope that society and the world learns to accept us as we are and we do eventually gain that validation and freedom that we desire but I fear it may still be a while away. So until then the best we can do is learn more about ourselves and ensure we don't treat each other the way ordinary society may treat us today.
One more thing. None of this said is meant to in any way suggest that 'incontinent people have it easier'. No. It's merely highlighting some differences in incontinent people that we continent people may find attractive and what would cause us to do so. No one should make themselves incontinent nor do I endorse it but I can't deny that when the despair and shame gets tough these thoughts do occur.
TLDR: Incontinent nappy wearers have some positive qualities that continent ABDLs don't - that being acceptance and honesty about their wearing. These qualities are rather attractive for our community and is the reason I believe that some wish to 'make themselves incontinent' so they have that validation and acceptance in their need to wear a nappy that they don't get being continent. Learning of why this is the case will help all of us become better at accepting ourselves.
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