Abdl and social loniliness

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eeeyyup. That's me. It's a bit different for me, my social fears and stuff aren't really related to AB/DL stuff in any way but sometimes I'd just not be willing to leave the house because I was too afraid to. All throughout my schooling I've been really shy and my teachers are telling me now that it's going to be a problem later on in life if I never speak up or ask for help etc. It probably will to be honest.

Though I've had it all my life it's gotten worse as I've gotten older. I haven't been to a party of any kind in over 3 years because I am always paranoid that I'll say or do the wrong thing or somehow I'll make someone unhappy. All it takes is someone sighing at me or making some sort of negative gesture or eye movement or anything and that will make me feel upset for like half a day. I tried a few times to tell family that there was something wrong with me but they never believe me: say I shouldn't "diagnose" myself.
 
Milko said:
All it takes is someone sighing at me or making some sort of negative gesture or eye movement or anything and that will make me feel upset for like half a day.
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Wow, that sounds exactly like me. If I feel like I've really disappointed someone or anything in that realm, it will almost instantly ruin my day. At the very least it will make me "hate myself" for a few minutes.
 
I do not think that being an AB/DL has nothing to do with social fear or loneliness. I have these desire to wear diapers since I was a child, bit I was very friendly and popular in high school and college. On the other hand I realized that I was not feeling attracted to sex as my friends and that was something that really bothered me for a long time.
Today I am living alone and I do not have friends, but I have all the time to play with my little side. I would love to meet people, but I do not know where to start since it has been a long time that I am not in the date world. The biggest problem is that I think I am asexual and I would like to get female friends to share what happen to me. But how you can start dating a women and suddenly tell her that what you want is just a friend... I have not figured it out yet
 
theQman said:
Wow, that sounds exactly like me. If I feel like I've really disappointed someone or anything in that realm, it will almost instantly ruin my day. At the very least it will make me "hate myself" for a few minutes.
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I experience the same feelings.
Pardon my short answers as an Autistic.
 
My social isolation and introvert tendencies are because that is how I am. I naturally prefer less social interaction and more personal time for myself. It just so happens that some times ABDL activities fill my personal time.

My parents decided to homeschool me and my other siblings. One of us remained introverted through it, one remained extroverted and was always outside looking for neighbors, and another grew up preferring to speak with adults over age appropriate children: they were not mature enough for good conversation. The same parents raised 3 unique children. My parents, ABDL, nor anything else caused my social isolation. It is who I am.

After graduating high school, I did decide that I needed to be more social and expand the number of people I knew. The more I practiced being social, the more I needed my private time. Regardless of how many "friends" I had or how much social activity was part of my life, never did I allow many people to actually get close to me. There was always a level of isolation, a barrier in place my mind required. Only a few people went past the barrier. Those remain my close friends. They are few.

At age 32, I was diagnosed with Autism. This frequently has some effects on social function and it does for me. It does not help my social life, but it is not the total reason either. I have met extroverted Autistics, introverted Austics, and others who had trouble communicating period. There is something else that makes me introverted. Autism just makes my conversations sometimes awkward.

I have met extroverted and introverted ABDLs. There are some people who want to be the center of attention and want to wear diapers and onesies. These people are not socially isolated because they are an ABDL. Some are exceptionally social and have hundreds of "friends" even with these desires. That is not me.


Having said all this, psychology has confirmed one thing very well: everyone is unique. The nature/nurture debate will continue and be studied. Research is done to find the source of these variations. There is another thing worth nothing: a person can make changes or go against their nature.

Every day is a fresh change for me. Each moment, I have the power to decide what my actions and thoughts will be. Do I diaper up and isolate or go out and socialize? Or maybe even socialize diapered? The last time I went out to go meet a new group, I was nervous. How will this go? Wore my favorite slacks, a nice polo shirt, and a diaper and white onesie under them. Instead of picking one, I chose both that day instead of staying home and diapering up again. I had planned to visit that group for months but kept postponing until that day.


Do I have social isolation issues? Yes. Does ABDL have an effect? Partially. It gives me another activity to do when I am isolating myself again. We choose our actions. Those actions are what control our lives. Now, when will I learn when a girl is flirting with me.
 
To paraphrase a friend of mine, my social awkwardness has no bearing on how I feel about diapers.
 
I never really saw myself as socially awkward; I tend to keep to myself a lot, but I still have strong friendships. In any case, it hasn't really affected how I feel about my AB side.
 
caitianx said:
I experience the same feelings.
Pardon my short answers as an Autistic.
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I'm also autistic.
 
MusicLover3889 said:
I'm also autistic.
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Well, here I am, a lonely Autistic, and I am sinking into depression mode again.
I have to withdraw more funds out of my meager 401K Retirement Account to meet unexpected expenses.
One can not live off of SSDI here in my State of New Hampshire.
 
" At age 32, I was diagnosed with Autism. This frequently has some effects on social function and it does for me.It does not help my social life, but it is not the total reason either. "

I was diagnosed by a neuropsyc with asd at a similar age.

It helped in explaining earlier struggles with things like speach.

My childhood world was likely unsafe.

AB activities make me feel safe.

I have no need for this in my adult life, on a psychological level.

But some deep part of me still requires this even though my adult does not.

As an older person who is secure in his sense of self, I have little desire to please others. It is more important that I live up to my own expectations and values than what others pretend to be.

So I have a 'soft friend' in my vehicle and at night at all times.

This is very freeing.
 
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