AB/DL & Abuse

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I can relate to a lot of your stories of abuse and humiliation. My whole situation relates back to ages 6 to 8 years old when my mother who was a nurse humiliated me in front of family, friend, cousins. I had an issue with wetting the bed at night and wetting my pants occasionally during the day. If I wet my pants by accident during the day I can remember on multiple occasions my Mom would yell at me in front of everyone how babies wet there diapers not 6 year olds. She then would take me inside and spank me with a wooden spoon which I then would wet more and she would make me undress and she would put a diaper and rubber pants on and send me back out to play with just the diaper and rubber pants witho pants on. She would leave me this way the rest of the day until bedtime. Also I always had a rubber sheet on my bed due to accidents. I think since this time I had a comfort of being diapered because if I was diapered I was not spanked if I wet and at times I was given extra special caring and affection by my Grandma who would tell me it was okay and felt a sense of reduced stress in my life. To this day when I wear there is a sense of less stress and a calmness in my life.
 
I was significantly abused, and for me, I think it was the catalyst toward AB.
When they were trying to night train me, they used beatings and cold showers as punishment for a wet bed. But then they kept me in a crib until I was almost 5. I took a lot of teasing and abuse from older siblings. My siblings virtually changed my name to Linus because I carried a blanket and sucked my thumb way longer than most children do. The name stuck long after the blanket and thumb were out of use.
All of us were required to grow up past our years. If we made a noise in church or did something at a relative's home that my parents found embarrassing, they would beat us for it. We became more robotic than anything. Other people thought we were just such well behaved children. They did not know the pain that kept us there. The others have their problems, but mine turned into babyhood.
 
I hate parenting like that, why don't they let kids be kids, that is kinda my childhood too. My parents were detrirmed not to make me and my older brother into a "little shit"

My brother has only just relised what has been going on and has actually confided in me, that's kinda why I am scared of poeple a bit. It always fills me with jealousy seeing those loving families, my family did love me and my brother but not like that. My parents hated babies and toddlers.
 
BlueGrey said:
I was significantly abused, and for me, I think it was the catalyst toward AB.
When they were trying to night train me, they used beatings and cold showers as punishment for a wet bed. But then they kept me in a crib until I was almost 5. I took a lot of teasing and abuse from older siblings. My siblings virtually changed my name to Linus because I carried a blanket and sucked my thumb way longer than most children do. The name stuck long after the blanket and thumb were out of use.
All of us were required to grow up past our years. If we made a noise in church or did something at a relative's home that my parents found embarrassing, they would beat us for it. We became more robotic than anything. Other people thought we were just such well behaved children. They did not know the pain that kept us there. The others have their problems, but mine turned into babyhood.
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I admit that I still have very painful memories of my mentally deranged Mom yelling at and hitting me.
It still hurts.
 
My brother has only just relised what has been going on and has actually confided in me, that's kinda why I am scared of poeple a bit. It always fills me with jealousy seeing those loving families, my family did love me and my brother but not like that. My parents hated babies and toddlers.
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But how can you believe that your parents love you after what they did or said.
It's one thing that I don't understand. My "parents" said they love me, but if they REALLY loved me they would have never abused me. Maybe I'm wrong but it's what I think for now...
 
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My childhood was filled with joy and happiness, my mom and dad both loved me equally and I loved them back. As far as I can remember I was always like this, abdl, I remember trying to wear diapers at age 4, getting caught, ext. my life started changing around age 15, I joined the fire dept as a junior and ems as a cadet, when I started riding and doing shifts I would take the trama I would see and regress when time allowed. I made that my coping mechanism.
Unfortunately as I got older we had the tragic events of 9/11 here to which I was a 1st responder, and then enlisted into the service because I had to personally spread the pain to the terrorists that gave me my grief and a bunch of other things.
That's my abuse, I ran angry and cold for almost 10 yrs, even when I left the military and got a private sector job I was angry, I missed so much of my young life due to a brick wall of seek and destroy, I've screw up relationships, isolated myself ext.
My moment of clarity came one day when I was driving home stuck in traffic, I was road raging and I literally got so angry I had a bloody nose, I had to ask myself what am I doing here.
I went back into diapers ten fold and having been wearing every chance I get, I've met people online and in real life that have been a crutch to me, I have turned my attitude around and feel content, I don't get pushed around and I don't push around, my co-workers and friends think I'm one of the nicest sensitive guys around and give me respect and dignity.
I treat people how I want to be treated back and it works, I even add a little "little flare" to things and people think I'm just a fun person now.
I will tell a story every once in a while, and sometimes I get a look that says your lying, your to nice of a guy to have been into things like that. I srug it off and just say you never know what your going to do next in life.
 
I find parents are not perfect mine mom was doing the best she could.
At the time if a kid wet his pants you diapered him I the 60,s
The big thing was only babies wear diapers and if you wet your pants you must be a baby. Then the kids started in once they got something on you thats it your done.
Now they did not take into account being a preemie at Birth had a effects on my nerves in my bladder.
It worked fine at nite no wet beds but day time could not feel needing to go until almost to late had to have clothing that can off fast or close to a bathroom.
If not wet pants.
My dad did not tolerated his kids had to be perfect.
 
My dad was not very involved with me and may have caused me to regress into ABDL when I first started having erections. Just seemed appropriate to me at that time. Perhaps I would have been different if my dad had been more actively involved with me when I was an adolescent.

When I was 12, I was caught shoplifting a pair of baby pants. It was very traumatic. My older brother (1 year older) and my mom were sitting at the kitchen table the next morning and she asked my why I took the baby pants. I made up a lame excuse, but my brother caught me with a direct statement that the baby pants were for me. My blushing at his statement made the truth clear. A short time later my brother told one of my friends who wasted no time teasing me about my desires. My mother reacted by putting a plastic sheet on my bed. She also hung the baby pants up in my room in a very visible location. I took the baby pants down and threw them away. She never brought up the subject again. I never did anything about the waterproof sheet which stayed on my bed until it wore out. I don't think my dad ever knew about this.

To the extent there was abuse in my life, it was my brother who often would fly into a rage and pummel me. To the extent my parents found out they never took any significant action. Anyway, later in life it became apparent to me that my brother had some psychological issues that were probably never diagnosed.
 
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When I was growing up, I had control over NOTHING! I have ADHD and my life was not even close to great. There was my mom ditching me for 15 years, older kids bullying me because of my impairment, and my dad going to jail and I get sent to a group home because no one else in my family didn't care. I became an ABDL because I want to replace my nearly destroyed childhood.
 
Hey, Gettingoverthefear and Onesieman, I see you just arrived, so welcome. There sure is a lot of pain on some of these pages but we now have each other. It's good to be able to vent. We older ones know a time when it was not so. I hope you find it therapeutic.
 
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