A few questions

[Johnindiapers]

I have a few questions. I have been incontinence since 2006 due to a car accident. I have tried several ways of maintaining my incontinence but I have found the best way for me is just to wear a diaper. I am comfortable with it. I'm now diapered almost 24/7. (I do like when you have a few minutes between changes to just wear short). Anyway I was told that I was being lazy and should be on a bathroom schedule since I'm home all day. I tried that and it stressed me out.
Second, in the mornings I don't change right away if my diaper is not to saturated. Usually Within the first hour of me waking up I usually have another wetting. So why should I change right when I get up? On that note I will wear a diaper until it is full, not leaking but full. I'm on a fixed income and pay out of pocket for my diapers. I don't wear a real thick diaper but I use unique Wellness Superior which are an 8-hour diaper.
Third. I was talking to somebody about a past relationship in which my live-in girlfriend would change me almost every time. I stated that I missed that because of the intimacy aspect. It was not sexual but very intimate. I miss that somebody cared enough about me to do that. So now I am being accused of being an adult baby. Yes I will admit that being diapered and missing the intimacy I have looked into it. And the fact that I would be accepted but not really into the whole baby thing.
What are your thoughts?

 

[slimjiminy]

I have a few questions. I have been incontinence since 2006 due to a car accident. I have tried several ways of maintaining my incontinence but I have found the best way for me is just to wear a diaper. I am comfortable with it. I'm now diapered almost 24/7. (I do like when you have a few minutes between changes to just wear short). Anyway I was told that I was being lazy and should be on a bathroom schedule since I'm home all day. I tried that and it stressed me out.

The credibility of a message depends a lot on who said it. Who was suggesting that you're lazy? A doc? X-GF?

Second, in the mornings I don't change right away if my diaper is not to saturated. Usually Within the first hour of me waking up I usually have another wetting. So why should I change right when I get up? On that note I will wear a diaper until it is full, not leaking but full. I'm on a fixed income and pay out of pocket for my diapers. I don't wear a real thick diaper but I use unique Wellness Superior which are an 8-hour diaper.

I think that is fairly common practice. I know I would too if my wife wasn't particular. Being on fixed income and using diapers on your own dime gives you some entitlement.

Third. I was talking to somebody about a past relationship in which my live-in girlfriend would change me almost every time. I stated that I missed that ....
What are your thoughts?

If you're not severely disabled, I think that is asking a lot. I would never ask my wife to do that given that I can manage things myself.

 

[Johnindiapers]

The credibility of a message depends a lot on who said it. Who was suggesting that you're lazy? A doc? X-GF?

I think that is fairly common practice. I know I would too if my wife wasn't particular. Being on fixed income and using diapers on your own dime gives you some entitlement.

If you're not severely disabled, I think that is asking a lot. I would never ask my wife to do that given that I can manage things myself. It was a living girlfriend that would change me I never asked her to do it but she wanted to.

 

[GDBOW1968]

I have a few questions. I have been incontinence since 2006 due to a car accident. I have tried several ways of maintaining my incontinence but I have found the best way for me is just to wear a diaper. I am comfortable with it. I'm now diapered almost 24/7. (I do like when you have a few minutes between changes to just wear short). Anyway I was told that I was being lazy and should be on a bathroom schedule since I'm home all day. I tried that and it stressed me out.
Second, in the mornings I don't change right away if my diaper is not to saturated. Usually Within the first hour of me waking up I usually have another wetting. So why should I change right when I get up? On that note I will wear a diaper until it is full, not leaking but full. I'm on a fixed income and pay out of pocket for my diapers. I don't wear a real thick diaper but I use unique Wellness Superior which are an 8-hour diaper.
Third. I was talking to somebody about a past relationship in which my live-in girlfriend would change me almost every time. I stated that I missed that because of the intimacy aspect. It was not sexual but very intimate. I miss that somebody cared enough about me to do that. So now I am being accused of being an adult baby. Yes I will admit that being diapered and missing the intimacy I have looked into it. And the fact that I would be accepted but not really into the whole baby thing.
What are your thoughts?

I have been incontinent due to Guillain-Barre Syndrome Incomplete Paralysis. I have perhaps a “two-minute warning” at most, and that can not get me to the bathroom, undressed, and on the toilet before having an accident. So 24/7 with an “All Through the Night” high capacity diaper is what works when I can afford them (I am a cash pay, Medicare does not pay).

Same as you with saturation, I am not going to rush to the bathroom when a diaper is approximately $2 each. If I have to get up, that is one thing. If I am still rather dry (I use BetterDry so very absorbent so I am not worried about skin issues), I may let it fill a bit more but not so much that it oversaturates and leaks. Unlike you, I must wear the thickest ATN diaper possible, since I have little to no control. A trip to the doctor, go to the grocery store afterward, and come back to the apartment, I don't want a diaper change until I get back. But even that 2-3 hours the 1,800ml diaper can be completely saturated (I don't drink caffeine or alcohol, so no diuretics and control my fluid intakes, but I can easily process close to 2 liters or around half a gallon of urine in that amount of time). So I never get “day diapers” and “night diapers”, I just only get “night diapers” 24/7.

As someone who FOUGHT wearing diapers from age 5, I eventually “accepted” the fact that I had to wear them. I “appreciated” the feeling (rather be “warm and dry” than “cold and wet” from having an “accident”). My late spouse helped with diaper changes (made it easier). Full acceptance of my needing diapers, and not finding them “unpleasant” compared to the alternative...does that make me perhaps a “Diaper Lover”? Perhaps. But I am far from an “Adult Baby”, I am a 54-year-old man who has had to wear diapers for 49 years...and I feel like a 54 year old man. I have had no particular desire, so like you I am not really in the whole baby thing.

But, if I found perhaps a “disability devotee” who would accept 100% of the issues of my disabilities, in addition to accepting me 100% (it is both or none when it comes to a “devotee”), I might be willing to “explore” the aspect of letting someone have a degree of control. But perhaps not as far as an “Adult Baby”, perhaps closer to a “Teen Baby” if I am giving control at a level below “adult”. But that would have to be a very special person, since I don't really see it as a “thing” for me.

 

[Tenaman]

I have little feeling or warning of needing to wee and so wear adult nappies 24/7. I use the Tena Slip Maxi Active fit all in one nappies and as I am in the uk I am lucky enough to get them supplies free on our health service. I am still pretty active despite spinal injuries and so adult nappies work well for me. Pull ups are not absorbent enough and a pain to change!
I check how wet the nappy is every 4-6 hours and change when necessary to avoid any leaks.
The only time I have been changed by someone else was as a child as I wet the bed and as an adult when in hospital after surgery when I have had no feeling at all from the waist down until the drugs wear off. The nursing staff have always been amazing.

 

[slimjiminy]

During the day, I wear pull-ups for toilet use convenience. I will still make every effort to use the toilet for any BM function.

But increasingly, I find climbing up/down the stairs is a problem. So lately, I have been giving in to peeing my pull-up or velcro diaper more often. But I try not to, since that costs me extra!

 

[hbic60]

I have a few questions. I have been incontinence since 2006 due to a car accident. I have tried several ways of maintaining my incontinence but I have found the best way for me is just to wear a diaper. I am comfortable with it. I'm now diapered almost 24/7. (I do like when you have a few minutes between changes to just wear short). Anyway I was told that I was being lazy and should be on a bathroom schedule since I'm home all day. I tried that and it stressed me out.

Hi John,

I'm on a comparable situation as you are. Working from home, but for my combined dribble- and urge incontinence always padded. For day use I have my Tena Flex Maxi (or Attends Flex 10). Sure, if have the opportunity to use the toilet I do (sometimes between urge and it flows is less than a minute), and the Flex system gives really quick access. But often, especially while in a teams call or deep into work solving problems which I don't want to interrupt, I have absolutely no problem to use my diaper without any shame. That's the reason why I user the Maxi capacity ones - it's enough to bring me through the whole day with only two of them.
In my opinion this behavior is not laziness but simply a pragmatic approach. Don't care what others might think about you but do that, what is comfortable for you! It's your health, your body and you are the only one who decides which is the most comfortable way for you to go through the day and handle your incontinence!

Second, in the mornings I don't change right away if my diaper is not to saturated. Usually Within the first hour of me waking up I usually have another wetting. So why should I change right when I get up? On that note I will wear a diaper until it is full, not leaking but full. I'm on a fixed income and pay out of pocket for my diapers. I don't wear a real thick diaper but I use unique Wellness Superior which are an 8-hour diaper.

I do the same. If my night diaper (Tena Proskin Maxi Slip) still has capacity left in the morning, I leave it on until it's full - why should I waste that capacity?!? I also pay out of my pocket, but here in Germany you can find via internet search always suppliers with special offers, so usually as well my night diapers as also my day Flex diapers cost me less that 0,70 Euros per piece...

Third. I was talking to somebody about a past relationship in which my live-in girlfriend would change me almost every time. I stated that I missed that because of the intimacy aspect. It was not sexual but very intimate. I miss that somebody cared enough about me to do that. So now I am being accused of being an adult baby. Yes I will admit that being diapered and missing the intimacy I have looked into it. And the fact that I would be accepted but not really into the whole baby thing.

What are your thoughts?

I understand your feelings. Sometimes I dream that my wife also would change me, but I would and do never expect that. I'm happy that she is fully accepting my incontinence, supports me and shows me, that it makes absolutely no difference to her that her husband besides her during the day or in bed wears a diaper instead of regular underwear - we still enjoy cuddling and intimacy in the same way than before.
Im in an age (62) where I do not care any more so much what others think about me. I have accepted (and in a certain way also sometimes like) that I have to wear diapers - does that make me being a Diaper Lover? Who cares, I'm not interested in any way and do not care about "labels"! In your case missing the intimacy aspect does for sure not make you being an adult baby but is only a thing between you and your partner where no-one else has the right to judge you !!!

 

[jjpadded]

I have little feeling or warning of needing to wee and so wear adult nappies 24/7. I use the Tena Slip Maxi Active fit all in one nappies and as I am in the uk I am lucky enough to get them supplies free on our health service. I am still pretty active despite spinal injuries and so adult nappies work well for me. Pull ups are not absorbent enough and a pain to change!
I check how wet the nappy is every 4-6 hours and change when necessary to avoid any leaks.
The only time I have been changed by someone else was as a child as I wet the bed and as an adult when in hospital after surgery when I have had no feeling at all from the waist down until the drugs wear off. The nursing staff have always been amazing.

I started to go down the continence nurse route then went through my doctor to see the urologist, so never got to the point of asking for free nappies. Im paying for pads and it’s very expensive. What was process?, nobody has even asked me how I’m managing to stay dry, I guess unless I shout loud enough the nhs wouldn’t advertise free incontinence products.