First time you questioned your gender?

I first questioned my gender when I was four going on five. I used to play dress up a lot then with my mom's clothing. When it be came obvious that I liked girl's clothing more than boy's clothing, my parents let me have them. Though they restricted how much I crossdressed until I got into middle school, and it did lead to me seeing my mom's psychiatrist over the subject. Which actually helped a lot. Plus it was good to have parents that were accepting of my situation. When my grandfather on my dad's side found out though, he blew a major gasket. I had been delivered to his place so he could watch me while my parents were out, he lost it, for about a minute, until I started crying(I was 8 at the time.) That took all the anger out of him. He was dissapointed as I'm the only male in my generation, so that means my surname dies with me potentially, also he was a fairly devout Mormon. But as soon as he got passed the shock of it, he accepted me for how I was. So in short I started questioning my gender early, found lots of acceptance, and never stopped questioning my gender and gender identity.

The first time I questened my gender was at Kindergarten time. When I went to school, I mother cut my hair. They put me into sports. At puberrty I got little breasts. I did not takes teestosterone, instead I dressed more and more colorful, tried lipsticks, etc.

At the same time I loved diapers since the age of five. I was mistreated in a catholic hospital because of my ambiguity. In my early 30ies I officially changed name and had SRS paid by German Health insurance. Post OP I had changed of status to legally female on my birth certificate. I still see myself as in-between and do not want further surgeries (e.g. voice, face, breasts, etc).

Rusalka