Diaper Lover advice in an LGBT relationship

Hi all.
I'm new to this AB/DL stuff (made a greeting post yesterday) and have been looking around on the site for a while. I recently met someone (we're both male) and we are now in a physical relationship. He is a DL, but also wants to be the submissive part of a dom/sub scenario.

I'm not quite sure how to proceed, since I have questions about DL as it regards this type of relationship. Is this the right forum to ask on? Should I head to the mature section instead?

jTrekkieEM said:

Hi all.
I'm new to this AB/DL stuff (made a greeting post yesterday) and have been looking around on the site for a while. I recently met someone (we're both male) and we are now in a physical relationship. He is a DL, but also wants to be the submissive part of a dom/sub scenario.

I'm not quite sure how to proceed, since I have questions about DL as it regards this type of relationship. Is this the right forum to ask on? Should I head to the mature section instead?

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This probably is a Mature Forum question, but if the Mods want it there, they'll move it for you. They're good about things like that.

I was in a relationship through college with a guy but I was too embarrassed to bring up diapers. Ironically, I was a weight lifter and much stronger than he was, but I was the submissive in the relationship. I probably would have loved to have been babied. As it was, he would occasionally buy me some girly things to wear.

I think you need to talk to your partner and see what he wants out of the relationship regarding diapers. Conversation is always a good beginning point.

dogboy said:

This probably is a Mature Forum question, but if the Mods want it there, they'll move it for you. They're good about things like that.

I was in a relationship through college with a guy but I was too embarrassed to bring up diapers. Ironically, I was a weight lifter and much stronger than he was, but I was the submissive in the relationship. I probably would have loved to have been babied. As it was, he would occasionally buy me some girly things to wear.

I think you need to talk to your partner and see what he wants out of the relationship regarding diapers. Conversation is always a good beginning point.

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Okay, thanks for the reply.
We have been chatting for a while now, and I think we both know what we want out of the relationship regarding diapers. We both kinda want me to get used to this idea at my own speed, and figure out how to best use the diapers.

We both want him to be in a diaper during sex, but wonder about the mechanics of it. Is ripping a hole in the diaper a good idea?
He is excited about using a diaper for a physical encounter, but hasn't actually done it before. And I have no idea what I'm doing since I'm new to this

Don't rip the diaper open but rather cut it before it is put on. Like mentioned by others, stuff will fall out but it's not hard to cleanup


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Marka said:

It's not a prohibitive idea... you might get some of the SAP (Super Absorbent Polymers) and some pulp/fluff, coming out of the hole - that's about it... Obviously, do-not use a sharp instrument to make this hole... while he is wearing the diaper - right?

Otherwise, there's no rules to this... enjoy each other and communicate!

Have fun and, be safe...

The thing to note, is that you appear to not have met in person yet... for all of the joy and anticipation that you've gotten online, with him... I think that there's some more basic elements to establishing your safety and comfort... before, you get to sex and diapers...

Are you planning to meet in a neutral public place first?

Hopefully,
-Marka

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Thanks for the advice Marka! Actually, we have already met in a public place, and had physical intimacy. We are building trust and getting to know each others desires. The diapers are the new variable in the equation. I've known about his desire for DL before we met in person, though. Now I just want to help him with it

Marka said:

You are certainly welcome, jTrekkieEM!

Good to know that you're established and safe!

So, now you can have him put the diaper on and then - have him use his finger to make a dimple (to mark the spot) for where you'll... enter... Then, remove the diaper for this modification...

Then, as mentioned by others... you could cut a hole... where the dimple/marking is... he puts the modified diaper on and, away you go!

Best of times to you!
-Marka

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Hey Marka thank you for your replies!
I am actually the sub in question.

For those still looking over this thread, I wasnt sure if this is the right forum or place to bring this up.

Diapers for me are a strange mix of many things: comfort, humiliation, sexual pleasure and submissiveness.
I dont know if that makes sense and it hardly makes sense to me why that is.
To break it down
Comfort: due to the fluff/thickness. It has a sense of security for me I think?
Humiliation: The bulge from beign wet especially in tighter pants is sometime noticeable, I enjoy that a bit but also enjoy the humiliation of being wet period. I realize the wetness portion isnt a humiliation thing for everyone, it just happens to be for me
Sexual Pleasure: Ive not actually done anything sexual in them, hardly had the chance, I just know I get "excited" when I wear.
Submissiveness: The idea I cant use the restroom, along with the humiliation stuff brings this on.

Basically looking for ways to build upon these things, since I have no experience with other people, and hardly any with myself >.<

Thatonesub,
with regards to making a hole in your diaper, you'll know where it needs to go. Just use your finger nail to make the outer hole in the plastic and you should be able to do the same on the inner part of the diaper. (helps if you have a finger nail that's not trimmed short)

puppyz said:

Thatonesub,
with regards to making a hole in your diaper, you'll know where it needs to go. Just use your finger nail to make the outer hole in the plastic and you should be able to do the same on the inner part of the diaper. (helps if you have a finger nail that's not trimmed short)

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Thank you! I havent done that before so this is good to know!

Diapers are a wonderful tactile way of expressing a carer / cared-for relationship if that is compatible with your interpretation of dom/sub. Diaper changes can be very intimate and intense, and range from full-on sexual stimulation to entirely platonic in nature, depending on how you set the scene. Sex in a nappy can be fantastic because of the extra physical sensations that it adds, but I don't find it necessary for getting mutual pleasure from sharing diapering with a loved one. I tried experiments with making an 'access point' in diapers, but this leaves the diaper useless for its intended purpose, which is an important part of diaper wear for many (myself included). If you like the idea and want the best from a pre-modified diaper, try cutting a little cross with a craft knife, remove the padding for about an inch around it, fold the tabs of liner and backsheet in on themselves and optionally lightly stick with flexible glue. This will avoid fluff and SAP escaping and getting stuck to you.

Hey,

This is somewhat similar to my topic involving sex with a partner: https://www.adisc.org/forum/showthread.php/110824-Diapers-And-Sex-and-everything-inbetween

However as I read this topic and think about it, I have done a technique of humping if you can place a penis between the diaper and the body. Normally I have done this where you lie on your back and the other person is on top, but inserts their penis through the leg cuff. without any penetration, you just massage it there.

I have seen videos (strictly research) where they basically pull the diaper to one side between the legs, this is to avoid any cutting and well, getting better reach to whatever you want to do. I generally avoid cutting holes as the SAP, espcially when wet can get everywhere and is hard to clean up. It's almost as bad as glitter getting everywhere. After clean up you will still have a lot left laying around, it is just harder to see as it doesn't glitter like glitter does.

Outside the put physical aspects, there is a lot of other things outside padding that have been mentioned like humiliation and submissiveness. The general act of just putting him in padding because you have the power too can be exciting for him. But it really is something you have to talk to him about.

I have in the past been padded when told to, and live by some basic house rules. So elements on control like that could work too.