Thoughts on the AB/DL dating scene?

[Neroforte]

It's not easy even to find someone who's OK with it, never mind someone who'll join in the fun.
I'm staying single until I find someone who is at least fine with me being a DL.

100% right no point of having someone who doesn't accepting you fully

 

[Palle]

100% right no point of having someone who doesn't accepting you fully

In the best of worlds, but we aren't even close to that. Ever heard of compromises?
Sometimes you just have to settle with somethings. If you're not happy enough, then do whatever you have to do.
All acceptance above 0% must be better than nothing, at least for a while...

 

[Diaperedlife13]

I've seen success stories of us dating vanilla people and it going great. My personal experience. It doesn't work. I've been with multiple who say they accept it. And they seem to for a little. But after awhile grow resentment towards it and later towards you. But dating within the kink. Impossible. It's unbelievably hard to talk to woman in this kink because there are so many creeps in this kink who have them on such a high guard that even just being friendly they shut you down because the creeps in this kink treat every woman who likes diapers like objects of there kink and not woman.

 

[safaridaze]

100% right no point of having someone who doesn't accepting you fully

My life experience is if you seek 100% acceptance, you gonna be very lonely! You take the good, you take the bad.... and there you have, the facts of life....... the facts of life!!

 

[diaperwoody]

I’m a Boomer DL, so my love lies primarily with cloth diapers and plastic pants. I don’t need to constantly wet them, I’m okay just wearing them. Every time I’ve struggled through “the talk”, telling a new girlfriend that I like to wear diapers, they’ve never had a problem with it. They may have thought it was odd, and had questions about how far I go with it, but in the end were always like “okay, I can live with that I guess”. The relationship has always ended for other reasons.

With my last girlfriend, instead of putting myself through “the talk”, I decided to just wait until our first night of intimacy, and then wore a pair of cloth training pants, with modern waterproof Silence Pants over them, and as we were getting undressed I just casually mentioned that I needed to wear protective pants because “he” dribbles sometimes, which isn’t far from the truth actually. She just uttered a sympathetic “aww”, and we continued what we were doing. The next time, I wore some smoother, shinier nylon pants over my trainers, then some snug fitting plastic pants, and so on until I was finally wearing a thick pin-on cloth diaper and baggy plastic pants, looking just like an overgrown toddler. She never said a thing about it lol.

 

[Neroforte]

My life experience is if you seek 100% acceptance, you gonna be very lonely! You take the good, you take the bad.... and there you have, the facts of life....... the facts of life!!

What I mean it's no point to be with someone who don't accept you except if you want to end up with a toxic person or broken in pieces. I had the both now no compromise for no one, I had a narcissistic.ex wife and been near to death now it's kind " you say you love me ok so let's see"

 

[Anemone]

What I mean it's no point to be with someone who don't accept you except if you want to end up with a toxic person or broken in pieces. I had the both now no compromise for no one, I had a narcissistic.ex wife and been near to death now it's kind " you say you love me ok so let's see"

I can agree with the sentiment but consider:

The majority of us do not wholly accept ourselves.

We cannot reasonably expect or even accept acceptance beyond what we extend to ourselves.

The route to self acceptance is often through seeing one's self as acceptable reflected in another's eyes.

To not compromise on walking before running is to give up on running outright.

 

[dluk2020]

I can agree with the sentiment but consider:

The majority of us do not wholly accept ourselves.

We cannot reasonably expect or even accept acceptance beyond what we extend to ourselves.

The route to self acceptance is often through seeing one's self as acceptable reflected in another's eyes.

To not compromise on walking before running is to give up on running outright.

So much this! Not saying im any good at it mind you, but you are spot on.

 

[Palle]

I've seen success stories of us dating vanilla people and it going great. My personal experience. It doesn't work. I've been with multiple who say they accept it. And they seem to for a little. But after awhile grow resentment towards it and later towards you. But dating within the kink. Impossible. It's unbelievably hard to talk to woman in this kink because there are so many creeps in this kink who have them on such a high guard that even just being friendly they shut you down because the creeps in this kink treat every woman who likes diapers like objects of there kink and not woman.

So it might not be the classical "give and take"?
Please consider that there are two persons in a relationship, two different wills. You must have some sort of balance, at least over time.
If the other person puts up with the caring, diapering etc. what does that person get in return?
Why should a person put up with another persons addiction and always come in second in the relationship?
Addictions comes with a price, one must find balance, the balance can shift a little back and forth, but over time it must be fair. Or else the relationship will end sooner rather than later...
You must find the other persons dark fetish and make sure to pleasure them, you will then have a foundation to your relationship, and maybe both of your dark interests could be merged in the future...

 

[DiaperedInDenver]

I've tried everything from tinder to gfet to Fetlife, haven't had much success. Pretty disappointing bc although I have found girls in my area who are in the abdl world, we just didn't click. I haven't dated in a long time because of this aspect of my life. I hear munches are great and I've been trying to work up the courage to go to one but I haven't gotten there yet lol.

 

[CptKirk]

As a female caregiver. My biggest struggle has been finding someone that wants both sides of a relationship. Yes men out number women greatly so we get a lot more "attention" but so often once a guy realizes you are good with whatever kink they have.... that's ALL they want to focus on. They forget that you are trying to form a connection and a relationship beyond diapers or whatever you are into. And a good romantic relationship has to be about more than a kink. You want someone to enjoy all faucets of life and love. And I think that can be hard no matter what you are into. I know I'm just trying to be the best me, and not settle to simpley not be alone, but that's me. I wish you the best and hope you find a great partner.❤

I'm simply looking for ANY relationship with a woman who has an outgoing personality, is kind, caring, friendly....... The few dates I have been on over the past 12-18 months have been a waste of time. I found one total gold digger and another who's ultra concerned about appearances as in kind of car you drive, name brand clothes and such. 100% NOT me! The one advantage of getting older is knowing what you want and don't want and not being afraid to say so. As a younger guy I was always thinking about sex and honestly completely naive. It's amazing what being in a BAD relationship (marriage) can do to ones' outlook and ability to walk away from a bad fit!

I wish you the best and hope you find whoever it is you're looking for.

 

[scotte123]

Its all the usual stories when ever reading this topic. Obviously its not an easy task, female male ratio lopsided, too many crazies out there, too many fake profiles, scams as well, . Its a lot easier for men to hook up with men because males tend to like this scene more perhaps. Females tend to shy away from meeting people in the ABDL scene because of the lopsided ratio. Females in the ABDL scene too are more into role playing like being Mommies, dominating mistresses, or caregivers looking for a profit . You have to pay and arm and a leg to experience a mommy, diaper GF or caregiver scenario. I guess the best scenario is getting lucky and your vanilla partner may like ABDL scenarios to share with you. I find though its more rare tha not....I wish it was a lot easier on a whole. Its a tall order.... Id love a Diaper Lover girl where it would be genuine and not paying someone for ABDL dreams.

this is a sad reality of this kink. Roleplaying abdl, is understandably taboo and mostly repulsive to other people because role playing would make the dom/mistress feel like a pedophile. Diapers without the roleplay is a bit different though. I think people in this community should be realistic and not overly entitled with there expectations. Telling someone you just met might be a bad idea but telling them after your wedding might be an even worse idea! Men definitely do not have the same advantage in this situation as a woman does like you are saying but I feel like there is still a decent chance of finding someone who at least is accepting of the diaper part though. Though, it does make it harder for sure.

 

[denimchicken]

I haven't tried to find a partner yet because I'm too hung up on this fetish. I fear rejection. However reading through this thread had given me some ideas and I feel a little more optimistic. As much fun as living the abdl fantasy 24/7 sounds, I don't think that's what I'm looking for. It can be fun every once in a while, but even I need a break. If I indulge all the time then it wouldn't be special any more.

They say everything is fine in moderation right? I think that will be key in finding a partner. I need to find some hobbies outside of diapers that other people share. If I can achieve that, then I suspect a good partner may show up.

 

[odd1inSyde]

I've seen relationships within the ABDL community work, but I've also seen them implode because the only thing the people involved have in common is being ABDLs. A kink (or lifestyle, or whatever you want to call it) is usually not enough to sustain a relationship.

 

[sbmccue]

I've seen success stories of us dating vanilla people and it going great. My personal experience. It doesn't work. I've been with multiple who say they accept it. And they seem to for a little. But after awhile grow resentment towards it and later towards you.

Acceptance, especially from women, can be a fleeting thing. I've read many threads in which a male ABDL tends to go all-out when a woman even hints at acceptance, which only succeeds in driving her away. I've found out the hard way that the more maternal a woman is, the less likely she is to accept AB play or DL predilections. Many ABs, in particular, can't be persuaded to believe that this dynamic is backwards, but it is ... women who have a good deal of 'real' childcare experience or a passion for caring for small children tend to look askance at us for a variety of reasons.

I don't imagine female ABs and DLs risk nearly as much in a new or ongoing relationship, because women can still have stuffed animals, wear babyish clothes and act like a little girl without raising eyebrows. My SO, for example, loves pacifiers and has them lying around her living room.

All this means that women who are seeking a manly, strong guy likely won't tolerate AB or DL behavior for every long. Women who are more secure in themselves and don't seek a protector figure, on the other hand, may be more receptive. Unfortunately, most ABs and DLs don't manage to attract confident, secure women. The 'low social ascendency' I've mentioned again and again over the years manifests itself in relationships as much as in any other area, and the strong-willed, assertive women we need to find tend to steer clear of us.

 

[crinklechef]

I told my wife (of 13 years) long before we were engaged, she's vanilla with a small interest in bdsm. I'll tell ya it was the hardest thing I've ever done. Her response was, that's it? I don't get it, but she thought the news would be worse. But, we were deeply in love, she said if that's what you're into, I'm willing to give it a shot. At first it was a glorious few years, then it became overwhelming, but we communicate. Number one rule of any relationship is communication! I scaled back my use and we moved on. Nine years pass of me doing my thing when she's not home, but she knows about it. She hit a deep depression last year, it was bad! I just started comforting her kind of like a little. She was into it. We went on an online shopping spree so she has what she needs. And it's not everyday, but about once a week I get a text with a cartoon snuggle and I know I have to switch roles from husband to daddy and it's on! I guess my point is, it doesn't matter if the relationship partner you're seeking is a fetishest or vanilla, if the relationship is really tight, acceptance can come of it.

 

[Magicalgirl101]

Would recommend making friends with a guy whos already into the kink scene, that why hes already knowing what types of kinks he will encounter. I met my bf in IRL and later on he turned out to be kinky/ accpecting of me being a little. Now we are a loving kinky / age gap couple

Definitely think its possible to find love within the community there needs to be a place to find it.

 

[Babytomneeds]

Hi mama I'm baby tom I wear nappies and I have baby bottle for bed and babby shower I have nappies day and night I wet love cuddles and sitting on mamas knee in a nappies being baby bottle fed having a loving woman enter in to my like would be heavenly I

 

[odd1inSyde]

Hi mama I'm baby tom I wear nappies and I have baby bottle for bed and babby shower I have nappies day and night I wet love cuddles and sitting on mamas knee in a nappies being baby bottle fed having a loving woman enter in to my like would be heavenly I

Yeah, this ain't how to do it.

 

[CutestPaddedFemboy]

I know I really want a special person to be in a relationship with, where I can be open about myself. I know that it's more likely I'll be rejected over it, but there's always the small hope of acceptance.