"You make us look bad"

[Coyote_Howl]

Sorry for not quoting, the website just gets stuck when I try =/. I think someone brought up a good reason for the comments that it doesn't help and so forth: The impressionable/young.

It shows/tells people that no, this really isn't the way you should act if you are AB/DL. It isn't what most of the community is about, isn't someone you should try to be or look up to.


There is nothing wrong with some littleness in public, and obviously nothing wrong with wearing in public (as long as it is hidden), but there is also taking it way over the top. IMO the "happiness," thing, if you need to be out in onesie, uber obious baby dress or whatever to be happy, I think things are a bit out of balance and need to talk with people about that.

As for creating understanding, again my opinion, but I don't think shoving it down the public's throat, or hell even worrying about the public is going to do it. The thing I think is important is making sure Psychiatrist and Mental Health Professionals understand and realize it isn't harmful as long as it doesn't affect your life. Then having someone like that, not some ABDL site (no matter how good) have a page or whatever that explains it and whys and battles the myths, etc. well have a huge positive effect. An outsider or outsiders considered knowledgeable in the field, saying something is perfectly fine as long as it does go overboard will help with family (especially) and explaining it to people.

One issue I will say I see the community fraction on is 24/7, it's gotten better (or I've paid less attention) but remember arguments about it for the longest time. For reference, I think 24/7 can be healthy but it can also be very unhealthy and too obsessive. IMO 24/7 should never be acting/living like a baby 24/7, but incorporating elements into everyday life I see no issue with.

 

[417PlacesToGo]

"You make us look bad"

My main issue issue with the ABDLs that parade themselves and are brazen about wearing diapers, babyish clothes, or whatever in public isn't with the actual clothing at all. It's about the lack of respect for the environment around them. I'm angry and annoyed at the attitude of "I don't care about anybody around me. I'm going to do what I want to do, and if that makes the people around me uncomfortable, well too fucking bad for them". Its this selfish attitude and disrespect for the people around them that gives other ABDLs around them.

This is mostly what I'm trying to get at. It's selfish to believe that that degree of comfort is necessary to your continued function. ABDLs do not need to behave in the ways I have described in public, and doing so at the expense of unsettling the general public is gross.
I wonder if my interpretation of ABDL is what's causing the disconnect here. To me, ABDL is an alternative lifestyle at best and fetish behavior (as I described in an earlier post) at the most extreme. Because of this, I just think it's wildly inappropriate to involve people. If you walked down the street in nothing but a onesie and diaper, hand-in-hand with your mommy or daddy and you were sucking on a pacifier, you are involving the public whether you want to or not. Telling people to ignore you is selfish; you're trying to blame other people for your own inappropriate behavior. You have to realize that just because you aren't attacking people or following them around doesn't mean that you haven't dragged them into your personal fantasy. You have to take responsibility for your actions.
What this comes down to is involving people who almost certainly do not want to be involved in your personal matters. Even as an ABDL I don't want to see other ABDLs acting like that in public. It isn't any of my business on a public level if you like to dress up like a baby and mess your diapers. If I want to get to know that side of you, I need to do it in private. I don't need to see someone expressing that side of themselves in the grocery store.

 

[gigglemuffinz]

This is mostly what I'm trying to get at. It's selfish to believe that that degree of comfort is necessary to your continued function. ABDLs do not need to behave in the ways I have described in public, and doing so at the expense of unsettling the general public is gross.
I wonder if my interpretation of ABDL is what's causing the disconnect here. To me, ABDL is an alternative lifestyle at best and fetish behavior (as I described in an earlier post) at the most extreme. Because of this, I just think it's wildly inappropriate to involve people. If you walked down the street in nothing but a onesie and diaper, hand-in-hand with your mommy or daddy and you were sucking on a pacifier, you are involving the public whether you want to or not. Telling people to ignore you is selfish; you're trying to blame other people for your own inappropriate behavior. You have to realize that just because you aren't attacking people or following them around doesn't mean that you haven't dragged them into your personal fantasy. You have to take responsibility for your actions.
What this comes down to is involving people who almost certainly do not want to be involved in your personal matters. Even as an ABDL I don't want to see other ABDLs acting like that in public. It isn't any of my business on a public level if you like to dress up like a baby and mess your diapers. If I want to get to know that side of you, I need to do it in private. I don't need to see someone expressing that side of themselves in the grocery store.

The thing is that each persons idea of what is appropriate is going to be different and it makes this situation complicated and not as simple as you are painting it. I do care about other people around me for instance quite a lot in fact, but I'm a trans woman and I am told many times that me wearing anything feminine is "unsettling" to many people in the general public. That I need not involve the general public in my personal matters. This same argument has always been used with gay people in displaying any form of affection for their partner in public, even innocent affection like holding each other's hand, or sharing an innocent kiss. I tried to poke at this with my previous post. (Quoting the relevant part.)

Pushing your regressive play on unwilling participants is one of the areas that is a bit murkier and it can be hard to find the line. However it is important we discuss it and try to remember it when we are out and about. I'm reminded of the logic of pornography.. I know it when I see it. I wouldn't be comfortable with someone doing play breastfeeding in a restaurant because there is sexual aspects to that sort of thing with two adult participants. However, if I'm eating dinner with my partner, and they suddenly decide to grab my fork and go.. "Here comes the airplane princess.." with a normal inside voice and I play along and we just smile at each other.. that's not hurting anyone. That is not inappropriate. We didn't involve anyone. Anyone who involved themselves in our meal conversation and atmosphere is an eavesdropper who should mind their own business. There is always going to be a line, and there will probably always be a debate on what the line is.

What I'm saying is there is innocent and not inappropriate ways to express ones nature that don't involve being half-dressed or exposing everyone to stink (which I agree is wrong), and these methods are often attacked as well when people just broadly cry "BE DISCREET" when having an issue with these often innocent methods of expression boils down simply to intolerance. Not wanting people to deviate from unnecessary and often harmful societal norms rather then someone actually being offensive in any way.

 

[lukethefur]

On one hand I think it should be the individual who decided what to dress as long as they're legally decent etc.

On the other hand, claims about people judging a community would be correct. But surely that's the problem of the judging by judging an entire community on one person, rather than saying "that guy's wearing not-normal clothes"?

Messing in public is a bit dubious for me because I think it's mostly the smell (even though it's muffled by nappy-fume) - it's kind of like walking past a guy who hasn't showered for a while, rather than the hit-me smell of pure poop. The only person's hygiene you're really affecting is your own.

 

[Calico]

Just I've seen something about who came out into public. If I do the same, I'll ruin my life, because I'm some kind of public person. I'll ben a few cruel, buit always I've seen some "extremists," those who I can call really crazy and vainillas mostly too. Acting like kids in public is socially inapropiate. Nothing matters for diapers in public, but always I hide it. But wtf. I do with paci ? -> Never in public. OK. Crying because some asshole cop is abusing of me ? No, because crying is of coward and it's inmature. I'm not baby, but I like use some baby stuff. There's the balance.

My husband told me I was acting like a kid when we went to Dave & Busters because I was so happy and having so much fun he said the way I showed it was a way a kid would. This is just my natural personality than being AB and role playing so I didn't even know I was being a kid there, I just thought I was an adult there having fun. Oh well I guess that is the Asperger's for me since people on the autism spectrum tend to be more immature emotionally and socially. But there are even normies out there who are immature too emotionally and act like children because it's also part of their personality.

I also have anxiety so that makes me act real childish and it's embarrassing when it happens in public. I know how I probably look to everyone else, a real immature person who needs to grow up, a bitch, having a tantrum. if I had a off switch for my anxiety, I would flip it off so it wouldn't happen whenever I get overwhelmed or stressed out.

- - - Updated - - -

I realize this might be a sensitive thread for those with developmental disorders and for those who have natural childlike personalities and interests and for those who have anxiety disorders and mental illnesses that make them act childish, especially in public.

- - - Updated - - -

Hell I have seen people wear collars in public and people wearing goth stuff and wearing something that looks too BDSM. I ignore it. I have also seen people make out in public and that makes me uncomfortable and I do believe affection should only be done privately. But I wouldn't tell them to get a room. I would just ignore it and not watch. I know people will use these arguments to justify their AB play in public or to purposely expose their diaper. I have even seen someone in my autism group who is obviously a little because of the way she dresses but I don't know if it's done for kink and if she is a kinkster or not and if she is an age player. She isn't always dressed that way but the way she has dressed was something I have seen in AB munches. I have no idea if she is AB either. But it could just be her natural personality so she dresses how she feels on the inside (since autistic people tend to feel younger) and who says you have to dress like a grown up just because of your chronicle age? Chances are if I weren't AB/DL, I probably wouldn't have thought anything kinky about the way she is dressed and would have just assumed they were her normal clothes so chances are people might not even notice if they are not in any kinkster communities such as AB/DL or Fetlife.

 

[plasticsounds]

Finally, a thread with some action.

I have been wanting to address this same subject for quite some time. I never knew how to approach it. This discussion seems to be touching on all of the important points. Allow me to enter the fray.

To begin, some background into my state of mind. I am not a fan of seeing pictures of men in diapers. But, to be hypocritical, I like seeing women in diapers. I would not be comfortable seeing someone in public in only a diaper, or extremely baby-ish clothing (costume parties excepted). I would never personally venture out in only a diaper. I realize that when all is said and done, this inclination of mine to wear diapers has to be truthfully described as a fetish. It is not a medical need, it is truly a desire. A very strong desire.

I think the main issue with this subject is that most of us seem to have an aversion to public displays. It is shocking to see PDDs (public displays of diapers), even for us. As far as whether or not people who do this are making us 'look bad', I would say that it is a relative thing.

Many of you in this discussion are very young (<30 years old). Because of that your exposure to acceptable public displays is very different than mine (>40 crowd). There was a period in my life where seeing a mixed race couple walking down the street was unheard-of. There was even a period in our recent history where it was against the law. Brave people that ventured out anyway paved the way for social acceptance. Homosexuality was forbidden territory at one point. Television is awash with homosexual characters of all types, but that was not always the case. I think Ellen DeGeneres was one of the first high profile characters to 'come out'. The uproar was very loud. Page one news. That was more than twenty years ago.

Moving on from that is the transgendered population. For roughly the entire history of civilization, people with gender identity issues lived alone and in fear of being discovered. Things are getting better every day. I would say that the first few brave individuals that ventured out in clothing appropriate to their gender identity, turned a lot of heads. Even today, men who make the move to live their lives as women affect the lives of many around them. The thing is, humans get used to it (most, anyway). I work with a wonderful woman today who went through personal and professional hell just to be the happy person she is today. Many people, men in particular were not very kind to her during her transition. I will even add that people with certain disabilities have been used more often on television.

Now what is the new taboo that is moving towards being mainstream? BDSM. Think about what people thought about it just a few years ago. Most people didn't think about it at all. Others wagged their collective fingers at the 'inappropriate behavior' of others. Then, 50 Shades of Gray comes out and all of a sudden people are interested. Sales of handcuffs and the like go up. Pictures of a dominatrix are no longer as forbidden as they once were. A movie was made that barely had a blip on the radar of the religious right (compared to other films).

The point is that history shows eventually most forbidden behavior becomes less forbidden as we are exposed to it, with a few very important caveats. The behaviors I have been discussing are either personal or between two consenting adults. There are no victims. Even more importantly, there are no underage participants. This is really important because I am in no way promoting any act that victimizes others.

So, do they make us 'look bad'? Does a drag queen make a transgendered woman look bad? Does a lesbian couple who kisses in public make all lesbians look bad? Do prostitutes make all women look bad? Do hedge fund investors make all men look bad?

I would say "No" (except the hedge fund people, they make us all look bad). There are certainly some mentally unstable people that don't help our plight. But maybe that means we need to have more of us out there doing positive things while dressed as 'littles'. Maybe a television writer needs to write a character that is an AB/DL and show how that person integrates his or her desires into their otherwise normal life. A little at a time, for a very long time. This is the answer.

Baby steps. (sorry, I couldn't help myself)


Alright internet, tear me apart!

 

[417PlacesToGo]

&quot;You make us look bad&quot;

Comparing public displays of ABDL life to transgender people dressing in their gender's clothing or homosexuality being openly displayable is extremely offensive... Gender and sexual orientation are complex parts of personal identity that are at the human core. One's desire to dress like a baby and wear diapers is not, at least not in the same way. One cannot identify as an age other than what they actually are in the same way as a transgender individual may identify with a gender other than that they were assigned at birth. It's roleplay versus identity. Normalizing ABDL behavior through its portrayal as a private, non-damaging characteristic in some form of media isn't the same as writing a character who traipses around wearing onesies and diapers in public spaces. That isn't the kind of attention this community needs. I have the same disdain for BDSM practitioners who wear latex and collars in public as I do for ABDLs who behave in those ways publicly. Both are fetishistic/roleplay practices that no one needs to be involved in except those who explicitly wish to be. Normalization and acceptability are not mutually inclusive.

- - - Update - - -

This post in response to the following:

-snipped-
To begin, some background into my state of mind. I am not a fan of seeing pictures of men in diapers. But, to be hypocritical, I like seeing women in diapers. I would not be comfortable seeing someone in public in only a diaper, or extremely baby-ish clothing (costume parties excepted). I would never personally venture out in only a diaper. I realize that when all is said and done, this inclination of mine to wear diapers has to be truthfully described as a fetish. It is not a medical need, it is truly a desire. A very strong desire.

I think the main issue with this subject is that most of us seem to have an aversion to public displays. It is shocking to see PDDs (public displays of diapers), even for us. As far as whether or not people who do this are making us 'look bad', I would say that it is a relative thing.

Many of you in this discussion are very young (<30 years old). Because of that your exposure to acceptable public displays is very different than mine (>40 crowd). There was a period in my life where seeing a mixed race couple walking down the street was unheard-of. There was even a period in our recent history where it was against the law. Brave people that ventured out anyway paved the way for social acceptance. Homosexuality was forbidden territory at one point. Television is awash with homosexual characters of all types, but that was not always the case. I think Ellen DeGeneres was one of the first high profile characters to 'come out'. The uproar was very loud. Page one news. That was more than twenty years ago.

Moving on from that is the transgendered population. For roughly the entire history of civilization, people with gender identity issues lived alone and in fear of being discovered. Things are getting better every day. I would say that the first few brave individuals that ventured out in clothing appropriate to their gender identity, turned a lot of heads. Even today, men who make the move to live their lives as women affect the lives of many around them. The thing is, humans get used to it (most, anyway). I work with a wonderful woman today who went through personal and professional hell just to be the happy person she is today. Many people, men in particular were not very kind to her during her transition. I will even add that people with certain disabilities have been used more often on television.

Now what is the new taboo that is moving towards being mainstream? BDSM. Think about what people thought about it just a few years ago. Most people didn't think about it at all. Others wagged their collective fingers at the 'inappropriate behavior' of others. Then, 50 Shades of Gray comes out and all of a sudden people are interested. Sales of handcuffs and the like go up. Pictures of a dominatrix are no longer as forbidden as they once were. A movie was made that barely had a blip on the radar of the religious right (compared to other films).

-snipped-

So, do they make us 'look bad'? Does a drag queen make a transgendered woman look bad? Does a lesbian couple who kisses in public make all lesbians look bad? Do prostitutes make all women look bad? Do hedge fund investors make all men look bad?

 

[Tyger]

Comparing public displays of ABDL life to transgender people dressing in their gender's clothing or homosexuality being openly displayable is extremely offensive... Gender and sexual orientation are complex parts of personal identity that are at the human core. One's desire to dress like a baby and wear diapers is not, at least not in the same way. One cannot identify as an age other than what they actually are in the same way as a transgender individual may identify with a gender other than that they were assigned at birth.

One cannot identify as a different age like a Transgender identifies as a different gender? Really, this is news to me, I guess I have been regressing wrong, because personally, I feel like I have never fit in well as an adult, and don't really want to be one. I feel like age identity is a very real thing, you can also see it in the reverse when a child grows up too fast and takes care of his or her family in crisis.

You might not find your little side to be as deeply (or complex) important as a gay or Transgender finds their identity, but if you try to tell me my little side isn't as deeply important as a gay or transgender, then you sir, are the one being offensive. Why is it that gay's and transgender's have all the rights to feel deep about there feelings? If I didn't feel deeply about being an adult baby then I probably wouldn't have strongly contemplated suicide, and afterwards been willing to risk my relationship with my parents to feel like I was living a genuine life. If this was just a lifestyle that I chose to live, it would have been really easy to quit, but I can't because I am wired this way. I tried to quit and it tortured me. Just because adult babies don't have a deep history of opression, don't go all offended that we feel like we can relate.

 

[Clarity]

Culturally acceptable: http://www.japan-guide.com/g8/2080_05.jpg

Culturally Deviant: http://i1.wp.com/www.dailycal.org/assets/uploads/2013/11/tom-baby-e1383406706270.jpg

Standard in many societies (That have less greed and war than us): http://www.svsoggypaws.com/blog2014/apr/MenBoysinLoincloth.jpg

Just right out terrible: http://www.adriansurley.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/diaper-in-public-300x160.jpg

Does anybody see a double standard?

Surely you have you be joking right? You are comparing Sumo wrestling attire and people in third world countries wearing what is most likely traditional to them to people who want to flaunt around a urine soaked diaper. There is absolutely no comparison here, they are completely different cultures.

 

[Tyger]

Well my photos didn't include urine soaked diapers, and no, I'm not joking. Please tell me how my comparisons don't prove that in some cultures it has been acceptable to be wearing clothing that doesn't cover much. Please logically provide how my argument is flawed rather than acting as a supreme judge of what is rediculous or not.

- - - Updated - - -

Surely you have you be joking right? You are comparing Sumo wrestling attire and people in third world countries wearing what is most likely traditional to them to people who want to flaunt around a urine soaked diaper. There is absolutely no comparison here, they are completely different cultures.

In reply

 

[417PlacesToGo]

One cannot identify as a different age like a Transgender identifies as a different gender? Really, this is news to me, I guess I have been regressing wrong, because personally, I feel like I have never fit in well as an adult, and don't really want to be one. I feel like age identity is a very real thing, you can also see it in the reverse when a child grows up too fast and takes care of his or her family in crisis.

You might not find your little side to be as deeply (or complex) important as a gay or Transgender finds their identity, but if you try to tell me my little side isn't as deeply important as a gay or transgender, then you sir, are the one being offensive. Why is it that gay's and transgender's have all the rights to feel deep about there feelings? If I didn't feel deeply about being an adult baby then I probably wouldn't have strongly contemplated suicide, and afterwards been willing to risk my relationship with my parents to feel like I was living a genuine life. If this was just a lifestyle that I chose to live, it would have been really easy to quit, but I can't because I am wired this way. I tried to quit and it tortured me. Just because adult babies don't have a deep history of opression, don't go all offended that we feel like we can relate.

I'm not saying that it's not okay to identify with an age younger than your actual age, I'm just saying that it's not the same as a gender identity or sexual orientation. I'm not trying to attack you for the way that regress, only point out that comparing them is to appropriate their history of oppression (which is important) for the sake of your personal experience. I also agree with Clarity in the position that the cultural pictures you provided are not apt comparisons. They represent traditional cultural behaviors and, well, traditions and are not the same as wearing a freaking diaper in public for all to see.
My final thoughts on this topic are thus: Is it okay to be as ABDL as you wish in private? Absolutely. Is it okay to wear diapers in public? Sure, as long as they are hidden and not used in a way that is intentionally exhibitionist or malicious. Is it okay to wear babyish clothes such as onesies and overalls that don't hide diapers or behave like a baby in public to the extent that it is distracting? No, because that crosses the line to involving the public in an intentional way in your alternative lifestyle in which others may not wish to participate.
I'm going to unsubscribe from this topic now.

 

[KimbaFoxNatsume]

My viewpoint in such matters is that there is a level of being ab/dl in public that is acceptable, while there is also one that crosses over into grey territory. To make things simpler, diapers are basically underwear, and should be regarded as such. Most people wouldn't go out in public with just their underpants on, so a diaper is no different. Now, if you really wanted to parade around in a diaper with no pants in public, well you can, but you're basically risking ruining your reputation, and you're going to make other people pretty uncomfortable.

I see no problem with wearing covered diapers in public, or somewhat babyish attire like overalls - hell, overalls are sold in the men's department of Walmart for work wear. I myself own a pair of overalls and a pair of shortalls with cartoon characters on them. You'll probably get some funny looks if you wear footie pajamas out - they are pajamas, after all - but even so, they've become fairly commonplace for adults. Now, a snap-crotch onesie falls into that grey area. I personally would not wear one out with pants, or encourage others to do so, for the same reasons why going out in just a diaper is a bad idea. But if you really want to do it, no one has a right to tell you no.

 

[Tyger]

I'm not saying that it's not okay to identify with an age younger than your actual age, I'm just saying that it's not the same as a gender identity or sexual orientation.

But would you still consider it a type of identity crisis? Personally I do.

I'm not trying to attack you for the way that regress, only point out that comparing them is to appropriate their history of oppression (which is important) for the sake of your personal experience.

My apologies, I know you were not trying to attack me for my personal experience on this subject. I was intending to point out that if you should, based on the statement that you already seemed to imply that ABDL'sm cannot be as complex, then I already had addressed such a possible attack.

I'm not personally trying to adopt the persecution towards the LGBT community as part of our own. The things that happened to that community, and still does, is horrible. I still feel like if the statistics were switched, and ABDL's were as numerous as LGBT, then we would have similar persecutions, because I know we get that from our own parents, but no, we have not suffered as a community anywhere close to what the LGBT community has suffered.

I also agree with Clarity in the position that the cultural pictures you provided are not apt comparisons. They represent traditional cultural behaviors and, well, traditions and are not the same as wearing a freaking diaper in public for all to see.

But why? Sure, they are different cultures, but isn't that how cultures are started? Somebody starts off doing something different than everybody else, and then it becomes normal after a while? As well, if we are to accept other cultures, then why not accept a developing culture that wears attire that is similarly awkward in it's presentation? The only difference that I see in the context of these photos, is that Sumo wrestling, and 3rd world tribe attire, has a longer culture to support a normality for such attire. If people had been wearing diapers in public for the last 100 years already, then nobody would care and this conversation wouldn't exist. If Sumo Wrestling never existed, and then somebody put together an event where fat people get in a ring and wear a strange thong thing, then it would be considered insulting to the obese, and obscene for public viewing. So it begs to question, are we willing to allow the development of other cultures?

No, because that crosses the line to involving the public in an intentional way in your alternative lifestyle in which others may not wish to participate.

Who says they have to participate? They can just walk on their way and ignore the person. If it becomes an irritant because said AB is being even more invasive, then it can be put through the government system and become an established law that no such things should happen. What if I don't want to be involved in a public environment where a person dresses up as a clown, furry, or a goth? It is going to happen anyway, and I can just go on my way and ignore it.

The real issue is whether or not a diaper being exposed is considered inappropriate, based on the same standard that we hold towards underwear, since that would be considered public indecency. So what makes underwear indecent? As far as I am aware, it is because it allows a person's genitals to become more obvious. The question that is more curious, is: why then is a swim suit socially acceptable?

I'm going to unsubscribe from this topic now.

I'm sorry that you want to leave, I'm sure my bold attitude has attributed to the frustration. I just want some logical arguments to back up the debate. I hope you will return with a rebuttal.


As for my opinion on all of this, which I have already expressed. Wearing just a diaper, or just a diaper and a t-shirt in public, is not a very advisable thing to do, and risks your social standing. However if it can't be argued to be publicly indecent, then it should be allowed and considered to be a cultural variance on society. And as far as I am aware, the one legal case I know of, has deemed public exposure of a diaper equivalent to showing off a swim suit, therefor, not indecent.

 

[Trevor]

[snipped]As for my opinion on all of this, which I have already expressed. Wearing just a diaper, or just a diaper and a t-shirt in public, is not a very advisable thing to do, and risks your social standing. However if it can't be argued to be publicly indecent, then it should be allowed and considered to be a cultural variance on society. And as far as I am aware, the one legal case I know of, has deemed public exposure of a diaper equivalent to showing off a swim suit, therefor, not indecent.

I think you made some good points in your post (in the thread, really) but this was the bit that caught my eye for additional comments. For the sake of clarity, this is the fellow we're talking about in Utah: http://www.deseretnews.com/article/...aper-Boy-unusual-but-not-criminal.html?pg=all. From the information in the story, I would say there's a pretty good chance he's a pervert and I'm surprised that the sentence was reversed. So what we have here is a not very good legal case for exposing your diaper in public in a conservative state and still he prevailed. It's irrelevant what was in his heart and mind in this case, the behavior was deemed unusual but not criminal. If this is just unusual, then how can someone just minding their own business in big baby clothes possibly be as bad (or worse)?

Seattle and indeed the state of Washington allow for public nudity. It's the behavior, not the state of undress that leads to charges sticking. Although I really, really wouldn't care to, I think I'm within my rights to walk down the street naked. I just don't see how a diaper and baby clothes are worse than that. We don't have a right to go about our business without being offended. I see things that offend and appall me on a semi-regular basis. I move on. If someone actively tries to involve me in their weirdness, I might have a case but just walking down the street wearing clothes I don't like doesn't rise to that level.

I think it would be helpful for us in these discussions to draw a distinction between those who are going about their (admittedly odd) business in the public sphere without expectation of validation from the public and those who seek to involve others in their fantasy. I'm also curious as to what those here who don't like the public displays intend to do about them? You don't like them and you think they're bad and reflect poorly on the community. I can agree with most of that. The difference is, I don't expect anyone to cater to my idea of what's good in public. If they ask me what I think, I'm happy to talk about it but I can't make them change, nor would I even want to. It's a natural cost of living in a free society.

We can discuss what would be ideal or nice but when push comes to shove, we're together in this by similar desires and we can't disown anyone who fits the profile. Any horrible person can be an ABDL if they have those desires. If it's public, we're going to be stuck with explaining why we're not like the awful ABDL person they heard about, read about, or saw on the street that one time. Better get ready to deal with it, because it's not going away.

 

[caitianx]

All things said, this is a difficult subject.
We just get hammered due to the fact that there
are a few questionable AB/DL individuals who
have no sense of proper behavior and ethics
within our particular subculture who make the
rest of us look bad.

 

[buridan]

It's fascinating that a post that was about ABDLs on TV has turned into a discussion about what people do on the street or in a restaurant. They're very different issues. When people engage in openly sexual or fetishistic behavior on the street or in a restaurant, other people can't help seeing it. When people talk about their sex lives or other intimate aspects of their lives on TV, people who don't want to hear them can turn the TV off.

On the original topic, ABDLs speaking on TV or in the press, I think people on both sides of the issue are right about something. On one hand, it is problematic for people to appoint themselves representatives of the ABDL community. No one is entitled to speak on behalf of all ABDLs; we didn't have an election for community publicist. So when an ABDL starts a media campaign that purports to be on behalf of ABDLs everywhere, it's reasonable for other ABDLs to be annoyed.

On the other hand, people are entitled to speak to the media about their personal experiences. If an ABDL wants to talk to the press about their own experience, not as a representative but as just one example of human sexual and psychological variation, that may or may not be prudent, but it is certainly their right. Other ABDLs should not try to pressure other ABDLs into being silent about their experiences.

Maybe it would make some ABDLs' dating lives easier if they could tell a new boyfriend or girlfriend about ABDL expecting this person never to have heard of ABDLs before. Maybe when ABDLs go on TV and talk about their lives, it makes some other ABDLs' lives a little bit harder. But you know what? Nobody has a duty to be silent about their own experiences so that your dating life can be easier.

 

[dogboy]

I like what both buridan and Trevor have said. As I was reading these responses I remembered there was another guy who lived his life outwardly as an adult baby. I can't remember his name, but he's been referenced a number of times on this site. He was known as the town character, because he would drive into town to shop for food, etc., in full baby clothes which included being diapered. Articles were written about him.

I mention him merely to point out that people have done this, lived openly as an adult baby and survived. Yes, society thought they were the strangest people if not on earth, then certainly in their town. But life goes on, just as those unique individuals lives went on, and everyone somehow survived.

 

[caitianx]

I like what both buridan and Trevor have said. As I was reading these responses I remembered there was another guy who lived his life outwardly as an adult baby. I can't remember his name, but he's been referenced a number of times on this site. He was known as the town character, because he would drive into town to shop for food, etc., in full baby clothes which included being diapered. Articles were written about him.

I mention him merely to point out that people have done this, lived openly as an adult baby and survived. Yes, society thought they were the strangest people if not on earth, then certainly in their town. But life goes on, just as those unique individuals lives went on, and everyone somehow survived.

That person was the late "William Windsor" down in Phoenix, Arizona.

 

[dogboy]

That person was the late "William Windsor" down in Phoenix, Arizona.

Thanks caitianx. As I recall, he simply did his thing, and if people didn't like him, well...they didn't have to socialize with him. He lived his life the way he wanted. I'm not sure how happy he was, but who knows.

 

[caitianx]

Thanks caitianx. As I recall, he simply did his thing, and if people didn't like him, well...they didn't have to socialize with him. He lived his life the way he wanted. I'm not sure how happy he was, but who knows.

In the end, his untimely death was a tragedy.
He was happy being himself, and mostly kept to himself.