Would you date an AB?

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RPcat18

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Hi folks I was just wondering how you all feel about dating other ABs. Obviously if you are an AB yourself you wouldn't mind their fetish/comfort and you would be able to talk to them about it but would you be ok with someone else having such a submissive fetish/ comfort. That is kinda is issue with me like if I met another AB who I really hit it off with great but part of me would always want whoever I'm with to take control, at least in the bedroom, and I would feel bad asking that of another AB as I know how much my little side would rather me never having to be dominate while in a romantic relationship.

So do you have a preference?Would you rather only date mommy or daddy type people? Would you rather keep AB stuff out of your relationship completely.

I am aware that relationships between people who are both into this kinda stuff is rare and no one says they will only date people into this, so this is mostly just a theoretical question.

Oh and if there is anyone in a relationship where you are both ABs how is it?
 

gigglemuffinz

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It really depends. I find that when I'm with other AB's, I always end up being the Caretaker just because I always talk myself into that role. I couldn't be in a relationship where I didn't feel free to express my own desires like that. If I felt that it was a honest give and take though, and that we got along well.. sure, I would be open to it.
 

RPcat18

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It really depends. I find that when I'm with other AB's, I always end up being the Caretaker just because I always talk myself into that role. I couldn't be in a relationship where I didn't feel free to express my own desires like that. If I felt that it was a honest give and take though, and that we got along well.. sure, I would be open to it.

Ah yeah I think I would kinda fear that I would be pushed into the care taker position because I am kinda butch.
 

Calico

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I prefer a daddy more than another baby. I wouldn't mind him in diapers either. I also can't be with a guy who wants to be a baby 24/7 because I also like having a man around. I wouldn't mind doing some babying too to the person.

My husband is into the AB/DL stuff and he is a daddy too but I can never get in the mood to diaper him and when I would in the past, he would turn it down because he wasn't feeling good. The problem is he is also overweight so it's hard putting a diaper on someone who is overweight. I am thinking I need to buy him bigger diapers despite what the waist size says. They're not always accurate. I often change myself because he is often in pain and I don't like going all the way down there to have him do it. I don't live my fantasy 100%.
 

Frogsy

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It's really rare to find a pure caretaker who isn't AB themselves. On these boards for example I only know of maybe two or three people like that. So with that in mind, the best solution is to see if you can both take turns and if you are both happy with that idea. It would be a bummer if one person (or both) was begrudging about the whole thing. But, I don't know, I would take Bright Eyes' advice. "But I'd rather be working for a paycheck than waiting to win the lottery." The lottery win would be a caretaker who is solely a caretaker! The odds of that are astoundingly low. It's better to work together and compromise and share in both roles. That being said, I actually do love caretaking just as much as being little, and I know of others in that category, like my BF. So when it works, it works well!
 

EPO1

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Completely off topic (sorry):
But damn, thats an unhappy critter of a cat you've got as an avatar ;) love it.


Can't really comment on the AB specific part though as it's not my kind of thing.

But here's a take from a different situation: BDSM.
My SO and myself are pretty into the BDSM stuff at home - we're not "living the life-style", but we're just enjoying it as a part of our shared sexuality.
Now we both have a dominant and sometimes a bit of a submissive side - I'd say we both are "switch" type people in this regard.
But it's not something you just can "flick the switch on/off" any time - it's a bit of a mood thing, personal moment, time of the day...
Important to me (and to her) is that there is a BALANCE... and RESPECT.
I guess both aspects are applicable to your question.

Balance about to make sure that BOTH get pleasure, satisfaction, etc. out of whatever you're doing.
Balance as in: there can be times when someone does something with the sole purpose to please the other person - as long as it's not outside of one's own comfort-zone.
I mean sometimes I do stuff / indulge in certain aspects that don't really do anything for myself - as long as they're not crossing my limits - With the sole purpose of helping to fulfill her desires, fantasies etc.
I get satisfaction from knowing that I made her happy. And she does the same for me at times. There's an equilibrium there and that's amazingly good.

Respect: as in not being selfish, as in being able to look over your own fence and see what the other person wants, needs, doesn't want ,etc.

I guess the entire thing doesn't matter, I mean it doesn't really matter if your partner is also an AB or whatever or if they're more into "Daddy/Mommy" roles or into the "baby" aspect.
As long as a healthy balance can be found that will be enjoyable and fulfilling for both.
But I am a believer that no relationship can thrive without compromise, without balance.
 

ajameson

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At first sight it looks like utopia, to have the partner that shares your secret interests, but there's as many pitfalls in such a relationship as in any other one. Though if I find someone who likes diapers or is an AB, I would probably try dating her. Such experience is worth to try at least once.
 

Trevor

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It's less about the labels and more about the person. I try to make as few sweeping disqualifications as I can when dealing with any kind of relationships with people. I wouldn't want to date just any AB but it might well be considered a benefit in the right person. For me, the right person wouldn't be all take and no give, and that's not just in the AB sense.
 

BinkyBoi

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This is something I have contemplated since becoming an AB. Really, it also goes along with dating someone who isn't AB, I just don't feel ready to take on the responsibilities of being a boyfriend/daddy anytime in the foreseeable future. But preferably, I would like to be in a relationship where we don't live our lives around our fetish 24/7, but when at home or in bed, quite possibly indulge in that fetish. I don't really know. Despite wanting a relationship, even an AB one, I don't think I'm ready for it.
 

dogboy

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My wife is very different from me in a number of ways, and it works. She isn't AB or into domination, but she still babies me at various times, and that's enough. Living with another adult baby would probably be overwhelming for me.
 

ThugLifeABDL

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I would love to date another ABDL, but only if we have other things in common. If diapers are the only thing we both like then it's not gonna work out.
 

BabyDenise

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As others have said, the ABDL aspects are not all there is in a relationship. But...

Yes, I think having an ABDL person would be good.
 

Scaramouche

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I would but the AB would have to be only a part of our relationship. I'm not submissive so I would have to be "daddy".
 

giantguy99

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Ironically I think I would not mind just being a caretaker for someone only as long as I was free to find a caretaker for myself if they where not up to being a caretaker for me. I would also have to mention that I would prefer to keep sex out of the equation usually unless the person in theory that I would be taking care of wanted that. Chances are good though that I would do this only for 1 person for them and 1 person for myself. Also I should mention that I am not with anyone at all right now so I could be wrong about this and just not know it yet.
 
S

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I'm just going by what another babyfur has told me, but apparently they come across as rather "clingy". I'm always hearing that the best AB relationships are the ones that are built with partners that aren't AB themselves. Plus one has to consider the male/female ratio in the community too, and that's also taking into account the LGBT community as well.
 

pilchers

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no, I cant stand ABs to be honest. Each to their own. Im sure theres plenty of people that would die to have an AB partner but not me.
 

buridan

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I have a partner, whom I love, and who is not an AB. So no, I would not date an AB. Before I met my partner, however, I absolutely would have (and did).

Even if you think of yourself as submissive, you may have a dominant side that you don't know about. Though my fantasy life is exclusively submissive, I once had the opportunity to be the caretaker in an AB scene with a guy who was not an ABDL himself. To my surprise, we both really enjoyed the experience. I discovered that saying the things to him that I would want an ABDL "caretaker" to say to me gave me a sort of vicarious pleasure. And apparently the things I enjoyed saying were fun for him to hear.

So, don't knock switching until you've tried it.

That said, if you ever find yourself in the dominant / caretaker role, don't assume that your partner likes what you like. I dated another ABDL guy for a month once. Our interests looked the same on paper, but they meant totally different things. For instance, when I said I liked verbal humiliation, that meant that I liked to be frequently reminded of my role in the scene (e.g. "You're in diapers because you can't keep your pants dry.") When he said he liked verbal humiliation, that meant that he liked to hear negative comments about certain parts of his anatomy. We both applied the Golden Rule naively, with unfortunate results.
 

Ebonybaby

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Not only did I "date" an AB, but we've also been together for going on ten years and married since 2011. This is not to say, AB wise, we haven't had our ups and downs in our relationship, but we've always been WAY MORE than just diapers and the like. Lord knows, if we didn't have other things in common, video games, movies, electronics (yes, we are both geeks in that aspect :p ), wanting to hang out with friends and doing things spontaneously from time to time; I'm sure we would not have lasted this long. Not to mention, besides all that nonsense, we simply are in love with one another and couldn't imagine what life would been like by now, had we not known each other.
 

VallenVulpiano

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Honestly I'm hoping to find an AB girlfriend one day, or at least a girl ok with me being ab/babyfur and would be willing to diaper me and change me. It would be nice to have a mate in which I could be that venerable.
 
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