Would You As AB/DL Parents...

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Pramrider

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...reveal or hide your AB/DL side from your children? This thread kind of rides on the coattails of Kovalchuk's thread about having an AB/DL mate, but the thought popped into my head while replying to his poll. What do you feel would be the proper course to take as parents, keep it hidden or reveal it to them? If you feel it should be revealed, when should it be done? Early as possible in their lives? Wait until teen years? Wait until they're about to go out on their own? Even if you explain to them about what you are early on, would you feel comfortable doing your particular AB/DL *thing* in their presense? Honestly, I need to give this question a bit more thought myself before I can answer.

~Pramrider
 

Ultima

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Honestly things like AB/DL tendencies shouldn't be mentioned to your kids, period. For the most part it would be the same thing as telling your kid "Hey there, I like bondage, what about you?" Things like that should only be disclosed in dire situations, like if the kid were to have a TB/DL side also, and you found out, or they came out to you. That way you could make them feel more normal. But other than that, like most other fetishes, I'm sure your kid would like it MUCH more if they didn't know lol.
 

Takashi

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Off the top of my head, no but it's possible.
 
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I wouldn't want my son to know about my AB/DL tendencies at all, even though he knows all about my having to wear diapers, and I do it openly in front of him. He's aware of my health issues, so it's no big deal to him, but there's no way I'd ever tell him about my AB/DL-ness.
 

Pramrider

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Honestly things like AB/DL tendencies shouldn't be mentioned to your kids, period.
That's pretty much the way I was thinking. And if an AB/DL man and woman get married it's sure something they need to discuss and decide on BEFORE children come into their lives, if they plan on raising a family.

The only part I'm still debating mentally is whether I'd sit down and have a discussion with them on the subject when they reached young adult age, or stay silent until the day I died unless they opened up to me first, as you mentioned. Hmmmm....giving it more thought, I'd think the best course is what I do now with them - stay hushed up about it!

~Pramrider
 

Ultima

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Yes, definetly stay hushed up about it, and even as they grow old, I wouldn't bother with telling them, it's unneccessary info for them. Regardless of age, discussing your parents kinks and fetishes would be an akward subject.
 

Jewbacca

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I would have to agree with Ultima, families don't generally discuss their fetishes with each other. I know I wouldn't want to know what my mom and dad's fetishes were, so I figure my children wouldn't want to know what my or my wife's fetishes are.

EDIT: This is also a reason why you don't come out to your parents about your diaper fetish, because I'm sure they want to know your fetishes as much as you want to know theirs.
 
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Ultima

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I would have to agree with Ultima, families don't generally discuss their fetishes with each other. I know I wouldn't want to know what my mom and dad's fetishes were, so I figure my children wouldn't want to know what my or my wife's fetishes are.
My point in a nutshell :smile1:
 

Babystevie26

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No. If you have to wear diapers due to incontinence, then and only then it would probably be worth the effort to have you child understand the situation. But wearing diapers for enjoyment, whether it's sexual or not, should not be brought up to your children.
 

IncompleteDude

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What I do in my personal time is nobody's business but my own, and that includes my kids. However, I wouldn't stop them if they got into something kinky but safe. Although, if they were ABs also by some freak chance, I wouldn't "play" with them in that sense. It's too weird.
 

FluffyFluffers

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So Extream Dirt biking bondage is out for your kids.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
o.o that does sound awesome though no?
 

tigerlily

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I def would not tell them. That's something that is between us(the couple)...I mean, I wouldn't want to know what my parents are into.
 

mizzycub

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When you are the parent you need to be respected and trusted, and something like this would damage that. It is a private thing so it is kept private. I would never ever tell any children I might, or might not have (beware the quantum children).
 

Korey

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No, that is fucked.

Im not even gonna get started on how fucked that is.

Definitely maxing out the fucked scale.
 
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Thallis

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...reveal or hide your AB/DL side from your children? This thread kind of rides on the coattails of Kovalchuk's thread about having an AB/DL mate, but the thought popped into my head while replying to his poll. What do you feel would be the proper course to take as parents, keep it hidden or reveal it to them? If you feel it should be revealed, when should it be done? Early as possible in their lives? Wait until teen years? Wait until they're about to go out on their own? Even if you explain to them about what you are early on, would you feel comfortable doing your particular AB/DL *thing* in their presense? Honestly, I need to give this question a bit more thought myself before I can answer.

~Pramrider
Of course not. That's a complete intrusion of the kid's privacy. I'd be grossed the hell out if my parents said something like that to me.
 

James

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I doubt i'll ever have kids, since im asexual, but.. If i did.

I wouldn't tell my kids about my AB side.

It would just be too akward of a subject, to discuss with my kids, and then again my kids might freak out about it.
 
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Honestly things like AB/DL tendencies shouldn't be mentioned to your kids, period. For the most part it would be the same thing as telling your kid "Hey there, I like bondage, what about you?" Things like that should only be disclosed in dire situations, like if the kid were to have a TB/DL side also, and you found out, or they came out to you. That way you could make them feel more normal. But other than that, like most other fetishes, I'm sure your kid would like it MUCH more if they didn't know lol.
I agree wit every single word, dang ultima, you seem to take the word right out of my mouth almost every thread! lol

Pramrider, from you have said, specially in your second post in this thread, has made me realize something I never realized you in the several months I have known you. You are suffering deep dark secret disease (just made that name up to describe what I am about define is going on with you). All your life I know you never told anyone about your abdl side, at least not many I know. I also know you never told you wife until very recently. So I assume if it was that hard for you to tell your wife, then you probably told very few or no people at all through out your life. Well thats a bad mistake because it seems like no your mind/soul (I believe soul) is trying to tell as many people close to you as possible. The people closest to you is family so thats who your turning to tell, to make up for all the lost years of keeping it a deep dark lonley secret.

My suggestion to kill this urge to tell your kids, and to keep it evolving from wanting to tell others, is to share your AB side a little more with your wife. Just sit down privately with her explain how you kept this such a secret for a long time, and even though you told her about it, it is still feeling surpressed. Tell her what you want, ( I don't know what you want so you got to decipher that yourself to tell her). Your body is craving to tell more people, so you want more self acceptance of it, and for your loved ones to know who you are deep down inside, so maybe you need to act out baby stuff more to get it off you chest, WITHOUT having to hide it from your wife. If you are able to do those baby things around your wife on occasion maybe it will give you that satisfication of acceptance, and ask your wife to show more verbal support towards it, and physical if she is willing (changing you, baby you, ect.), maybe that will help relieve these urges to come out to more people. Cause if you have one person accept it immensely I believe you won't need anyone else too. Let me know what you think Pramrider. You have helped so many people on here, it is time to help yourself my friend.
 
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Think of it like this.

How would you react if your parents sat you down and told you their kinks. Yeah....I'd think i would vomit. EVEN if they were similar to my own.


it only works with you telling your parents not the other way around.

However whenever it comes to the sex talk you eventually give you have to pretty much tell them, that people are very diverse in the lifestyles they choose.


Ambiguity is the key!
 

Pramrider

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Eclipse, there must have been a misunderstanding about my wife knowing - she actually doesn't. On another thread I mentioned if I ever had any thoughts about opening up to her, I now know not to based on her negative reaction to something else she saw which may or may not have been TB related. Maybe that's where you thought I had said something to her about myself.:dunno: She knows I'm a kid at heart in other ways and pretty much accepts that (at the most I'll get an eye roll or shake of the head:D), but my deep-seated *B feelings are kept hidden.

No, I would never reveal my AB side to my kids either. Sounds like I might have made it appear telling them was being considered. I honestly had no intentions of doing so when starting this thread. No way I'd want to drop what could amount to an emotional bomb on the family. I was mainly curious to see if anyone else felt they might feel inclined to do so when their kids reached a certain age, say as young adults, or perhaps as older, more mature adults. I doubted anyone would *come out* to their children while they were younger kids, but wasn't sure if anyone's feelings would change on the subject when they were older. From what I've read, it doesn't appear so.

My only *revealing* has been here on the forums around friends who understand, and will continue to be the only place I make myself known for the forseeable future.

~Pramrider
 
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