Working on acceptance

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Afterburner

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  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
I crossdress and wear diapers on occasion, it's not something I do all the time. I just wear normal boxers and men's clothing when I'm not in the mood for cross dressing/diapers. When I do wear, it's something I do in the privacy of my own home, I have no desire to wear out in public. A session of wearing usually lasts a couple of hours, until my mind naturally returns to reality or when I feel the need to orgasm. Once that happens, all that stuff gets taken off and put away.

I have many hobbies and am pretty well known in many of the hobby/communities that I am a part of, which have nothing to do with ABDL or crossdressing. I really feel the need to open up about this part of me, so that I can dissipate this pesky shame, but I can't do it with the people I hang out with. As far as I know, these people are not part of the ABDL community and talking to them about it would be a horrible idea.

I'd love to hear from other people who only wear on occasion, and have hobbies just like anyone else. Do you ever worry about being outed by people if they somehow find out about it? It's such a difficult predicament. You feel trapped, where you can either keep it bottled up inside, or you can tell your friends and lose many of them.

Right now, I am seeing a therapist, and she is amazing. I told her about my fetishes on my first session, and she was very understanding and didn't think any less of me.

I realize that none of this is anything to be ashamed of. I think the bottom line is, I need to get it all off my chest without risking the relationships I have with many people I have in my life who don't coincide with this community.

Thank you very much for reading, and I really would love your support and understanding!
 
did you explain this exactly to your therapist ?
if so what was said?
 
CutePrincess said:
did you explain this exactly to your therapist ?
if so what was said?
Click to expand...

This is something that just started eating away at me the past couple days, so I will be bringing it up at the next therapy session.
 
Afterburner said:
This is something that just started eating away at me the past couple days, so I will be bringing it up at the next therapy session.
Click to expand...
prob best way at adressing this, i would just say exactly what you said here
 
I’m not familiar with cross dressing only because that’s not my cup of tea but I do understand the other part of being outted is a real thing. I really wish ere a an a magic phrase to use but there unfortunately isn’t one. I know that’s reaching out to avoid the thought of being ashamed of yourself is something we all need.
Being part of a community like Thisbe is good. There re seven communities you can’t join I just talk about it with like minded people. Don’t feel Ashamed!! You are not alone nor are you a disgrace! I think the more you talk to people whom understand and can help you figure out you it will be better.
I used to be a closet DL most of my life and it was my SO that got me to branch out and explore. That’s when I found ADISC. This community has been a godsend! Sorry I’m not much help. If you need an ear hit me up.
 
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I have a few hobbies that I have achieved notoriety in, these are tech based. I also lift weights, run and cycle. I own a business. I don’t even want to think about how disastrous it would be if my secrets got out.

I think you’ll find most people here have hobbies and other interests besides this. We just don’t talk about them because that is not really the purpose of the forum. It seems like all we talk about is diapers, because that is why we come here, to talk about that specific thing. Kind of like how you don’t go to a programming forum to discuss diapers.

I have been in your shoes before, where you only wear for an hour or two, get your jollies and then forget about it. I used to buy a pack of diapers at walgreens only to use one and throw the rest out.

Things have changed though, I live alone and wear every night, for the past couple of months. I had the desire to wear more often after powering through the guilt and regret of the first wear (really it only lasts a few mins). But there are other reasons for me to wear besides sexual gratification, particularly stress relief.

I have no interest in telling someone in my private life. I’d be terrified to tell a girlfriend or wife in the future (currently single). It might just have to be a secret I take to the grave, only sharing anonymously on forums. It gets lonely, who knows, maybe I’ll try the services of a nanny one day.

Personally, I wouldn’t tell anyone, unless you trust them completely. Just ask yourself: “Does this person really need to know? What reason do I have for telling them?”

Maybe try to meet some local ABDL people to talk to instead?
 
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Thank you so much for your responses, guys. These are the kind of things I need to hear. I have spoken with my therapist about it, and she is amazing. But I think the more people who come forward on this forum and tell me that they've gone through the same thing, the less I will feel alone.

It's not enough for someone to just say, "you're not alone" without any evidence to back it up. To actually have people telling me that they have gone through the same thing is helping to dissipate the shame, little by little.

I think part of it too is that I haven't dated in a long time. I have been going through some rough times in life which kind of put that on hold. Now that I am VERY aware that I am a cross dresser and an ABDL, I'm terrified that if I start dating a girl and get into a serious relationship, I'll eventually have to tell her about it. I feel like I wouldn't be able to enjoy a first date, because I would be panicking that far in advance!
 
Learn to enjoy the moment a little more. If you start dating thinking about the what if’s you will end up sabotaging yourself. Don’t let your subconscious do that to you. There are accepting individuals out there. If at first you don’t succeed try try again.
 
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I usually only wear when I am in the mood. After I'm done, things get put away until next time. I regress to a baby boy but I think everything else is about the same. I do worry about people finding out but the past few years I've been living alone so I am not worrying too much lately. Privacy is great!

Do what you do. Be who you are not what others expect you to be.
 
I was a crossdresser first. Then a guy at work brought some publication into work that had ABDL stories in it. I was surprised at my reaction to reading it.
Over the years exexperimenting I've found out that I'm simply a diaper lover. I do wet them sometimes but really don't enjoy being wet or messy. So my diapering time is limited to my mood. I do enjoy sleeping in a cloth diaper, it has a certain peacefulness.
 
Many of are duplicitious, people are complex. Every one has something they keep mainly.to themselves. If your hurting noone then no need for shame.
 
Haven't read all the comments

But I must say you are right up is amazing it explains exactly how I'm feeling and way better words
 
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