Women and diapers

[jonny77]

So, I'm not being transphobic at all here, but why aren't there straight women on here to come out about having to live with diapers?

 

[HumanFly]

So, I'm not being transphobic at all here, but why aren't there straight women on here to come out about having to live with diapers?

There are at least two on here that I'm aware of.

 

[Myday2]

I’m straight and wear diaper

 

[SofiaInPampers]

I wear diapers and the last time I looked, I still have all the plumbing of a female. I’ve been this way since birth😂. In all seriousness, there are several of us girls on ADISC.

 

[Cottontail]

So, I'm not being transphobic at all here, but why aren't there straight women on here to come out about having to live with diapers?

I expect you meant 'cis' and not 'straight.' Anyway, there are lots of theories (and no certain answers) as to why most ABDLs are AMAB. Some will claim otherwise, but I suspect the gender makeup of ADISC and other ABDL social groups mostly reflects the gender makeup of ABDL as a whole. It is interesting to wonder about.

 

[YakuiAndOzoi]

Well, I do think there's a couple factors that could answer this question.

1. In general, even if this isn't entirely fair, this place has the perception of being an internet fetish community. These spaces have always been somewhat male-dominated, and can have a reputation for being full of creeps as well. As such, they're not always the most gender inclusive places. I know multiple cis women within fetish communities on the internet who are pretty coy about their gender for this very reason, including past bad experiences. Now, of course, you could also say it's not fair to call this place a fetish community, and I agree it's not that. That especially goes for this section, the incontinence forum! But the website is not entirely not a fetish community also, and even if it wasn't there is the perception of such.
2. I have no evidence to back this up, but in my (very very subjective!) experience of intereacting with kink-related communities online ABDL stuff has the most even ratio of cis men to cis women. So I think this is actually more common than other communities! As @Cottontail said, though, there's certainly a larger amount of both cis men and AMAB people in general than in other communities.
3. As for the prevalence of trans women, I've noticed this too! The causes of ABDL are greatly varied and both differ between people and can't really be pinned on any specific thing. However, to employ metaphor, we can try to touch at least one part of the elephant here. One part of the explanation could be that there seems to be a correlative link between autism and ABDL. Much the same, there's actually a scientifically backed correlative link (through demographic studies) between individuals identifying as transgender and individuals being autistic. As such, this could be one factor in the explaination for why there are so many trans women who are ABDLs.

Hope those help explain some things! Those are my readings on this community's demographics!

 

[cannamommy]

If we as a group could restrain ourselves from being enamored with a female standing up and saying hello, then I believe more women would feel “ more comfortable “ having there presence known, I am not an AB or DL, I am. CG. With that being said and clearly am not a professional and I frequently mention that I am married, this does not stop my inbox from being filled with requests from “ please be my mommy” or “will you roleplay with me” among other messages and requests simply because I am a female in the community. My little BG still has not re-joined the online community for those same reasons. Regardless of anyone’s Gender identity we need to see each other as human beings, not as an opportunity to fulfill sexual/emotional agendas.

One of the big words to describe ABDL or any other fetish/kink/lifestyle with the sexual discovery experimentation atmosphere is COMMUNITY . And I feel like that gets lost, not always intentionally but all the same. I myself have taken breaks From this and other online forums because I wasn’t seen as a person, I was seen as an opportunity. I try not to judge to harshly as one’s desires can lead them to do or say things without thinking it out.

It’s my OPINION mind you that for reasons mentioned here that females or those who identify as such may stay closer to the shadows than most.

Again this is my opinion, my two cents, I am not a psychologist nor can I claim I am educating or educated enough to guarantee that my terms or otherwise or politically correct. My post here does not aim to shame , just me engaging in the conversation.

 

[WarriorPrincess]

I'm female and married. Love my adisc fam

 

[YakuiAndOzoi]

One of the big words to describe ABDL or any other fetish/kink/lifestyle with the sexual discovery experimentation atmosphere is COMMUNITY . And I feel like that gets lost, not always intentionally but all the same. I myself have taken breaks From this and other online forums because I wasn’t seen as a person, I was seen as an opportunity. I try not to judge to harshly as one’s desires can lead them to do or say things without thinking it out.

Absolutely true and well said. The objectification of women who participate in fetish communities is a very prevalent problem and a very saddening one. It makes it into a hostile and toxic environment in a lot of ways! All of the cis women I know who I have met through fetish communities have not just had this as a persistent problem, but also had at least one scary experience with at least one person in their past within these communities, generally a stalker. It is not okay and it needs to be stopped somehow if these places are ever to become welcoming communities.

I myself have experienced these problems and so have cis men that I know. It's an endemic, systematic problem that occurs more frequently to women, but it happens to everyone! Everyone benefits and is more free to be themselves if this toxic behavior is cut down and mutual respect becomes more expected and normalized.

 

[Turfy]

If we as a group could restrain ourselves from being enamored with a female standing up and saying hello, then I believe more women would feel “ more comfortable “ having there presence known, I am not an AB or DL, I am. CG. With that being said and clearly am not a professional and I frequently mention that I am married, this does not stop my inbox from being filled with requests from “ please be my mommy” or “will you roleplay with me” among other messages and requests simply because I am a female in the community. My little BG still has not re-joined the online community for those same reasons. Regardless of anyone’s Gender identity we need to see each other as human beings, not as an opportunity to fulfill sexual/emotional agendas.

One of the big words to describe ABDL or any other fetish/kink/lifestyle with the sexual discovery experimentation atmosphere is COMMUNITY . And I feel like that gets lost, not always intentionally but all the same. I myself have taken breaks From this and other online forums because I wasn’t seen as a person, I was seen as an opportunity. I try not to judge to harshly as one’s desires can lead them to do or say things without thinking it out.

It’s my OPINION mind you that for reasons mentioned here that females or those who identify as such may stay closer to the shadows than most.

Again this is my opinion, my two cents, I am not a psychologist nor can I claim I am educating or educated enough to guarantee that my terms or otherwise or politically correct. My post here does not aim to shame , just me engaging in the conversation.

You hit the nail on the head here with women in general in the ABDL community. You expressed yourself quite well, and everything you said is spot on. The community is less than conducive to females, and unfortunately, this follows from Western Society at large. This is a problem that is coming more to the fore then I can ever recall, however; we (the staff) have been circling this subject a lot lately, making sure we are doing everything we find feasible to make ADISC a welcome place for everyone.

In light of this, I want to remind everyone that we do have a report feature that is sadly under-utilized, based the conversations I have had and witnessed recently.

If you see or experience rules violations, or see potential problems, please report them. I am also available to help via DM in our Discord server and here. When in doubt, point it out!

The cops (Moderators) can't possibly review ALL content on ADISC at all times, we are dedicated in the extreme, but also still volunteers. Cops need people to dial 911.

 

[slimjiminy]

... and I frequently mention that I am married, this does not stop my inbox from being filled with requests from “ please be my mommy” or “will you roleplay with me” among other messages and requests simply because I am a female in the community.

Men, especially selfish men with a kink, can be such pigs (I hate to say as a male myself). I am frequently embarrassed at the number of men here who even expect their spouse to "become their mommies". Hitting on others in the forum seems even more selfish.

 

[CheshireCat]

So, I'm not being transphobic at all here, but why aren't there straight women on here to come out about having to live with diapers?

I know a moderator @Turfy has been on this thread, but I this question is not appropriate for the Incontinence Forum on so many levels.

 

[DiaperDiva]

Agreed @CheshireCat

The incontinence forum is for frank discussion of incontinence, sharing our experience and advice.

it’s all there at the top of the board

 

[Calico]

You mean cis women who have to wear for IC? Just say cis women if you want to be more clear and specific.

 

[Calico]

Men, especially selfish men with a kink, can be such pigs (I hate to say as a male myself). I am frequently embarrassed at the number of men here who even expect their spouse to "become their mommies". Hitting on others in the forum seems even more selfish.

Back in the old days, I also had a harsh message in my profile about these men. I didn't want them in my inbox and I also didn't want men entering my PMs asking for a mommy and to help them look for one.

 

[LaLoneDigi]

Men, especially selfish men with a kink, can be such pigs (I hate to say as a male myself). I am frequently embarrassed at the number of men here who even expect their spouse to "become their mommies". Hitting on others in the forum seems even more selfish.

In my experience, men by and large make up the worst actors in fetish communities. Their selfish behavior drives away many people. I've been sexual harassed a number of times in my life online and irl. It's never been a woman. Even when I went to bedwetting support forums when I was still a bedwetter, there were pushy men trying to get their jollies off.

 

[RetroGirl15]

So, I'm not being transphobic at all here, but why aren't there straight women on here to come out about having to live with diapers?

Because we don't want creepy dms or sexual harassment from men, those are the reasons why we don't state this unless its a safe space.

 

[DiaperDiva]

I am not very active outside of the IC board and that might explain it, but I have had very few inappropriate DMs here on ADISC. If I get one I don’t reply.
I think this site is better than some other corners of the internet.

 

[SoggyApril]

Having been formerly counted among the cohort known as "Men", I can regrettably agree with most of what has been said here.
I think younger generations are getting better at it (and they darn-well better be, or I'll have some butts to kick), but there is still far too much objectifying of women that any space that can be tied to kink will unfortunately have that shadow hanging over it.

 

[TeddyUrsadorable]

I expect you meant 'cis' and not 'straight.'

What's wrong with using the word straight? I never liked the word CIS, as it's always tossed around as an insult.