Wives and incontinence

Rob110

Contributor
Messages
1,373
Role
Incontinent
My wife has and always been supportive of my diaper needs since my incontinence issue first started 5 years ago, she came with me to my First Urologist appointment and did a ton of research before hand. She was in the no meds camp before the DR even mentioned them been diapered 24/7 ever since.
 

CalebKrawdad

Contributor
Messages
5
Role
Incontinent
I am a little late to the game here. My wife is supportive but has made several comments that suggest she thinks I may just be being lazy. Recently she said that I was "too young" for bladder problems and diapers.

Recently, while shopping, I told her I had to pee. She remarked, "what's new?". I told her I was going to see a doctor again and get a note that I could pee anywhere we stop. She said that she wished I would get one.



In light of those, she is typically supportive. I go back and forth with my own acceptance. If I try and conceal the diaper at night or in the morning, she will tell me I am being silly and that she has already seen them before. She also found some Crinklz I bought when they were on sale. She teased me about it but ultimately did not care.
 

mickdl

Est. Contributor
Messages
263
Role
Diaper Lover, Incontinent
If it would't be that sad I would had start laughing while reading this:
  • You're not taking enough care
  • You're wetting yourself on purpose
  • I'm not having my husband wear incontinence pads.
In fact this was more or less the argumentation of my wife when my incontinence problems where beginning... She know about my DL fetish, accept it - but also doesn't like it that much - we found other ways to have fun together but anyway... When I was loosing my bladder control - first she did't believe me and then she thought it was my own fault... It took us nearly a year to overcome this relationship disaster. It was not that we did't love us anymore. It was more that she was in real sorrow about my health and thought that I had/would destroy my live with my fetish.

So I think - every one would react different on news like that. How ever I guess theres no other way then to work it out...
 

Zeke

Est. Contributor
Messages
159
Role
Diaper Lover, Incontinent
My wife's never expressed any bigotry about IC, but she had what I would describe as a no-nonsense approach to a lot of health issues, and I would expect her to say I just had to get my act together and stop wetting myself. I doubt if she would support my going to the doctor as there is a sort of unspoken agreement that we only go to the doctor for really major illnesses.
This is one of the few times that I’ve felt fortunate to be divorced! I’ve been on my own for nearly 30 years and I’ve gotten rather used to having things as I want them. This has allowed me to be diapered 24/7 for the past 4 years and though I can control myself at times I’m mostly incontinent and don’t enjoy taking chances by going without a diaper. My ex-wife passed away about a year ago and friends have been encouraging me to try dating but after reading how your wife responds to your condition I’m thinking I may be better off alone.
 

jasonm03

Est. Contributor
Messages
288
Role
Incontinent
My relationship with my wife is much different than most people’s relationship. We sleep in different beds due to my PTSD so when I started loosing bladder control I didn’t tell her it wasn’t until I saw the first urologist that she found out and was upset that I didn’t let her know. She didn’t know how embarrassing it was needing to wear diapers to bed. When I finally told her why I didn’t tell her she totally understood and has been supportive. When I started having accidents during the day it was easier to tell her I needed them 24/7. My worse thoughts were she wouldn’t love me anymore and that was the furthest from the truth. Your mind can play tricks on you and make you believe things that aren’t true.
 

Ehorton

Contributor
Messages
382
Role
Adult Baby, Incontinent
My relationship with my wife is much different than most people’s relationship. We sleep in different beds due to my PTSD so when I started loosing bladder control I didn’t tell her it wasn’t until I saw the first urologist that she found out and was upset that I didn’t let her know. She didn’t know how embarrassing it was needing to wear diapers to bed. When I finally told her why I didn’t tell her she totally understood and has been supportive. When I started having accidents during the day it was easier to tell her I needed them 24/7. My worse thoughts were she wouldn’t love me anymore and that was the furthest from the truth. Your mind can play tricks on you and make you believe things that aren’t true.
The brain tricks is all the time and makes me miserable sometimes. My wife has been supportive from day one of my incontinence. I’ve often thought she doesn’t love me the same because I’m in diapers. I’ve been wrong every single time as she reminds me just how much she loves me.
 

Crinklesounds

Contributor
Messages
280
Role
Diaper Lover
Hi guys,

I've been reading your posts about your other halfs reactions to you having to wear nappies, and to be honest I'm a shocked at some of your replies.
At how some of your wives hate the fact that you have to wear diapers, all of this is no fault of your own, I'm sure if you didn't suffer from incontinence you probably wouldn't be on this site talking about it, the fact that you have to wear is that in my eyes you guys are doing the best you can to help with your medical issues. Otherwise you would be walking around with wet underwear and clothing.

I'm very much in the belief that when you say your vows and the words in sickness and in health should be adhered to, a husband should support
his wife and a wife should support her husband.
I'm pretty sure if the shoe was on the other foot and it was your wives who were suffering with incontinence you guys would be fully supportive.
Listening to some of your comments makes me glad I'm single, I have occasional nighttime wetting issues and wear for safety, but if I were in a relationship or married I'd like to hope I'd have the support from my better half, that is what love is supposed to be about isn't it?
 

PCBaby

Est. Contributor
Messages
2,565
Role
Adult Baby, Little, Incontinent
sickness and in health should be adhered I spent 13 1/2 years caring for my wife when she became disabled, by then I was 24/7 she knew and understood and loved me to her last day on earth, Whilst her disability sometimes affected plans we made and intimacy was no longer possible I still loved her, supported her and did everything i could to make her life easier. It isn't I take thee until things get rough or something comes up, it's I take thee as you are and as you will be no matter what.
 

Crinklesounds

Contributor
Messages
280
Role
Diaper Lover
sickness and in health should be adhered I spent 13 1/2 years caring for my wife when she became disabled, by then I was 24/7 she knew and understood and loved me to her last day on earth, Whilst her disability sometimes affected plans we made and intimacy was no longer possible I still loved her, supported her and did everything i could to make her life easier. It isn't I take thee until things get rough or something comes up, it's I take thee as you are and as you will be no matter what.
Sorry to hear about the loss of your wife!

I'm glad you were there for her and looked after her till the end. Life is very tough sometimes!
 

SoCalIncon

Contributor
Messages
102
Role
Incontinent
My wife is supportive and feels bad that i have this condition. She is totally fine with the diapers but i know that she does wish i would exhaust every single treatment option including invasive surgery. Just the ither day she said "why wouldn't you want to try everything even invasive surgery to get out of diapers?". I tried to explain that these treatments arent that effective and id probably still need diaper but maybe wet them half as much...tried to get her to understand that if i wet my pants 10 times a day or 3 it really doesnt make a difference as i never know when it will happen and wpuld still need to be diapered all day....i think she kind of gets it. At the end of the day though she respects that its my body and my choice and im happier managing it than getting major bladder augmentation surgery....i also had her read about bladder augmentation and all its risks and complications and i think that helped.

I am willing to give tibial nerve stimulation a try as its worth a shot, non invasive and painless, and i think it will make her feel better. I have 0 expectation that it will cure me though.
 

ST50

Est. Contributor
Messages
1,536
Role
Diaper Lover, Incontinent
My wife has and always been supportive of my diaper needs since my incontinence issue first started 5 years ago, she came with me to my First Urologist appointment and did a ton of research before hand. She was in the no meds camp before the DR even mentioned them been diapered 24/7 ever since.
I tried medication and I hated the side effects. My wife fully supported my decision t just rely on nappies.
 

PCBaby

Est. Contributor
Messages
2,565
Role
Adult Baby, Little, Incontinent
From what I can gather PTNS really only works for OAB
 

ltaluv

Est. Contributor
Messages
381
Role
Incontinent
I worry more about my diapers than my wife does. She won't let me get away with self deprecation, and reassures me regularly that she still finds me attractive even when I feel like some old, fat, sick guy who has to wear diapers.
 

PCBaby

Est. Contributor
Messages
2,565
Role
Adult Baby, Little, Incontinent
I worry more about my diapers than my wife does. She won't let me get away with self deprecation, and reassures me regularly that she still finds me attractive even when I feel like some old, fat, sick guy who has to wear diapers.
I think we all feel like that at times (apart from the ladies) but I'm sure they have similar issues coping.
 

509er

Est. Contributor
Messages
22
Role
Incontinent
My wife supports me having to wear, but doesn’t want to see them on me. Can’t blame her, I don’t want her to see me in them. She was upset that the surgery didn’t correct the issue so I didn’t have to wear. She is good about letting me know if they are making noise when walking around, I don’t hear very well any more and we have kids in the house.
 
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daylight

Est. Contributor
Messages
235
Role
Incontinent
I worry more about my diapers than my wife does. She won't let me get away with self deprecation, and reassures me regularly that she still finds me attractive even when I feel like some old, fat, sick guy who has to wear diapers.
Sounds like a great relationship. Congrats. Likewise, I'm the toughest critic and also get berated for not drinking enough water.
 

PCBaby

Est. Contributor
Messages
2,565
Role
Adult Baby, Little, Incontinent
yep we should all aim for a minimum of 2 litres of water a day. Tea and Coffee don't count. Although I bet most people with IC don't get close to that.
 

ChocChip

Est. Contributor
Messages
637
Role
Diaper Lover
yep we should all aim for a minimum of 2 litres of water a day. Tea and Coffee don't count. Although I bet most people with IC don't get close to that.
Yeah, it's a lot of changes and wet nappies...
 

RedStripeLvr

Est. Contributor
Messages
158
Role
Diaper Lover, Incontinent
My wife had always been supportive. She pushed me to see the urologist to make sure nothing was seriously wrong, supported me when I said I was done dealing with meds that didn't work, and is the one who ultimately said to "Just wear diapers and get on with your life." She will let me know if I look like I have a "bubble butt" or if the wings on the diaper are sticking out when I reach up for something. While she and I both would prefer not having to wear a diaper, she "gets it" and is rolling with it with me.
 

SoCalIncon

Contributor
Messages
102
Role
Incontinent
yep we should all aim for a minimum of 2 litres of water a day. Tea and Coffee don't count. Although I bet most people with IC don't get close to that.
This isnt true anymore. Current advise is to simply hydrate when thirsty... your body knows when it needs water. Coffee and tea do count as caffeine is only a mild diuretic. Though certainly a significant amount of your daily water intake should be simply water.

I make sure to stay well hydrated even though it does mean more accidents and more diapers. Early on when my ic started i tried ti manage it by significantly restricting fluids. Quickly leanred how bad of a strategy that was as being even mildly dehydrated all dar feels terrible and dehydrated urine is concentrared urine and concentrated urine SMELLS.
 
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