Wives and incontinence

yfront

yfront

Est. Contributor
Messages
243
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Incontinent
Yesterday I posted about the post urination dribble I have, which has worsened recently but is (at least, for now) relatively mild.

My follow up question is how wives handle their husbands' incontinence. I've seen a lot of wonderful examples of supportive wives, but I wonder if there are any less helpful ones. Because I probably need to have a conversation with my wife before it gets worse, not about going into diapers, but into more suitable underwear with a light pad. I hope she will be supportive but I suspect she might say something like
  • You're not taking enough care
  • You're wetting yourself on purpose
  • I'm not having my husband wear incontinence pads.
I'm worried ot might affect the way she sees me as a man (and I've had enough male problems). Has anyone got any advice about what to say, and what to expect?
 
My late wife accepted the fact that i was IC with no problems at all, although she was a nurse at the time, My fiancee is also my mummy so she doesn't have a problem with it either.

A lot will depend on how you approach your wife. Have you been formally diagnosed with PMD? Have you been shown how to "milk" your urethra?
If you have been diagnosed the take your wife with you o your ext trip to the doctor. It's either that or the good old face to face, Explain the problem, aand that it is getting worse and that you need to find a way to protect yourself and your clothes either using pads ad tight fitting underwear, or if she is dead set against it and provided it is only PMD then have a look at this link, no pad needed:- https://confitex.co.uk/pages/shop-men
 
What is your reason for your worry? Has she expressed any bigotry towards incontinence? Have you seen bigoted comments online towards IC or seen IC partners expressing how un understanding their partners are about their problem so you are worried your wife will be one of these ignorant partners too?
 
I can't tell you how your wife will react but I can share a story with you. My wife is extremely against me wearing diapers for fetish purposes, but recently I've been experiencing uncontrolled wettings and messing and she has been super supportive, and understanding. Right now I wear diapers during the day and she accepts that it is as medical need. I hope your wife is as supportive. Good luck
 
Reply
  • Like
Reactions: Pamper8824, puravidadip, littlefun and 1 other person
I am very lucky my wife never one omplained about my incontinence and the at I wear nappies. The nappies were in fact her idea.
 
Reply
  • Like
Reactions: Diaperman95 and Jim100
My wife is very understanding of my need for diapers now. Prior to becoming incontinent when I was wearing for pleasure she hated it. Was absolutely against it and would get really angry with me. It took going to the drs together for her to understand I have to wear them or else have wet pants. We discussed surgery as a possible cure but her response was your probably going to still need diapers post surgery maybe just not as many. She buys me ABDL ones now because she says I just want you to have the best ones available.
 
Reply
  • Like
Reactions: puravidadip, Diaperman95 and Jim100
My wife isn't keen on it; she has read on the alt-net that calcium will cure it (I can't find her source anywhere). My Urologist has me taking Tamsulosin HCL for my BPH, and Trospium CL for OAB. I was taking Oxybutynin for OAB but I couldn't deal with the side effects.
 
Calcium will not cure incontinence and depending on the dose could cause other problems like Kidney stones.
 
My wife's never expressed any bigotry about IC, but she had what I would describe as a no-nonsense approach to a lot of health issues, and I would expect her to say I just had to get my act together and stop wetting myself. I doubt if she would support my going to the doctor as there is a sort of unspoken agreement that we only go to the doctor for really major illnesses.
 
Thank you. Yes, I do the milking exercise. It's helped in the past, but no so much now. As I've pointed out in another post, I'm not sure she would be onfavpur of my seeing the doctor about this.
 
IC can be the result of several serious illnesses ad regardless of what your wife thinks you need to get this checked out
 
Yes I know. Prostate is main worry.
 
correct and if it is prostate problems the sooner you get it sorted the better.
 
I thought this was going to be about people who have incontinent wives... which probably would help with acceptance of your own nappy wearing!
 
Reply
  • Haha
Reactions: PCBaby
My wife was really supportive. I brought up my OAB (didn't know it was that at the time, I just knew I'd had a handful of accidents where almost out of nowhere I'd have an overpowering urge to urinate). It was a difficult conversation for me to have I think she thought I was going to tell her I had cancer or something. She was concerned for my health ofcourse and insisted I see the GP. The doctor referred me to the hospital and they ran some ultrasounds and gave me meds but these had effects like headaches, dry mouth, etc. plus didn't solve the problem 100%. What's the point in drugs if you still have accidents some of the time and have to wear protection anyway, was my logic.

So I talked through with her how to manage it. Kept her in the loop with my emotions and thinking.

Started with pads (these weren't very good) then moved on to diapers. I ordered a load of different brands to find out what was good and what was rubbish. Then that was it. I've just worn since.

I've been wearing diapers now for a few years. I've lost track how long actually. But my wife is still supportive. She doesn't say much about it but what is there to say.

In the early days she told me to cover them up a bit around the house. They're warm so I'd sometimes just wear a t-shirt over them but without realising that was a bit weird.

I also found it really hard to show them in front of her at first. I'd try and sneak into bed whilst her back was turned that sort of thing. But after a while it all became quite normalised and whilst I don't parade them in front of her on purpose she has taken an interest in the fact I've got some brightly coloured diapers too lol I think she finds it amusing I've got plain diapers and ones with patterns lol

Bottom line she was fine. She was happier when she knew it was something I could manage. I think in hindsight it has had an effect on our intimacy, as we don't have sex as often as we once did. I think in part it's that we've lost some spontaneity as I'd want to ensure I was clean and dry beforehand. But ... on balance we love each other.

I hope you manage to find the support you need from your partner.
 
Reply
  • Like
Reactions: NotTheAverageMan, Napincolove, Jim100 and 1 other person
When I had to start wearing 24/7 again I didn't like my late wife seeing me in them, or wet or changing either, which was really stupid as she knew I had to wear and was also a nurse.
 
PCBaby said:
When I had to start wearing 24/7 again I didn't like my late wife seeing me in them, or wet or changing either, which was really stupid as she knew I had to wear and was also a nurse.
Click to expand...

I was (am) self conscious as well. My wife is understanding and a quite supporter.
 
to a certain degree I still am eve though my fiancee is also my mummy, what doesn't always help is that she changes and cleans me when I'm in adult mode, but then just a pat on my bum, will have me wavig legs in the air and looking for tigger or winnie, it can be very confusing at times especially as the adult me is sexual (but not in nappies) and my little is totally no sexual.
 
My wife hates that I have to wear diapers. It's a HUGE turn off for her. But, she prefers my diapers to waking up cold and wet when I leak without protection... so she tolerates my wearing.

A huge hurdle for me was buying ABDL diapers... I finally just asked her late one night that I wanted to try a diaper that was recommended in my Incontinence support group (you guys), and she was like, what do I care what kind of diaper you buy... if its better just buy it =D ... it was a bit of a shock when she saw me with crinkles aqua the first few times, but she doesn't really seem to care. A diaper seems to just be a diaper to her... she doesn't like them, they are a turnoff for her, but she understands my need. Once or twice a year she tells me I need to go back to the dr to see if they can help... My last trip to my dr was super unproductive and in the end a waste of money... =p
 
My wife hates seeing me suffer, whether it's caused by incontinence or any of my other medical problems. Therefore, she hates when I have to wear diapers, because it means I'm having bladder pain and excruciating bouts of urgency and spasms. She couldn't care less about the diapers, but wearing them means that I'm hurting and she hates that.

For the OP, it sounds like your wife is having trouble coming to terms with you having a medical problem. Although you are the one having the medical problem, it sounds like she needs support in processing your problem. You may have to help her understand that your leakage isn't a reflection on her, nor is it a reflection on you. It's something that can't be helped.
 
Back
Top