Wife wants me to see a Psychiatrists?

[Seth17]

Sooooo I got caught by my wife who hates diapers and she is demanding that I see psychiatrist for my “mental illness”. She says something is seriously mentally wrong with me. She can’t understand why a grown man wants to wear diapers. She said she is disgusted and repulsed by it. She said she loves me but if I can’t stop then she will leave me. It’s a hard sport because we have two small children together and just bought a new house. So if I go see a psychiatrist what will happen. I’ve never been to one. Will it help me out of make it worse. At this point I’m lost at what to do. I truly wish I could stop wanting to wear and move on. I keep telling my self I can then I start thinking about all the time I have failed at it and gave in. But at the same time I was a complete idiot of not bringing this up before we got married. I was young and dumb. And she reminds me of that because she says she didn’t sign up for this. Sorry about the rant but I just need to know what to expect from a psychiatrist. Thanks y’all.

 

[Codiapermike]

Unless you see a legitimate sex therapist your reactions can go from the top to the bottom of the scale. Some have no idea what it is and that makes it a bad thing, others blindly will say do what makes you feel good. A good one will really take it all in. The good, the bad, then help you walk through what’s right for you based on this pro con. Unfortunately there is no perfect scenario and decisions are hard. Hopefully your wife will see in the end that you want both her and the diapers in ur life

 

[ThatHiddenDL]

I really hate that you're going through a situation like this.

Honestly, you probably do not need to go to a psychiatrist because, in general, psychiatrists really just oversee the administration of medicine and make formal diagnosis of mental illness and fetishes are not mental illness. Psychs rarely participate in therapy which is probably what your wife has in mind when she tells you to see a psych. If you think you should see someone you should probably start by seeing a therapist. As for what to expect, there will be pointed questions about certain things like "Have you had a history with depression, anxiety, abuse, substance abuse, etc?" but it will be mostly a conversation. You should explain the situation honestly and if you liking to wear diapers is a source of anxiety for you, not your wife, then you do need to tell them that.

A lot of people go to therapists and psychiatrists for many many reasons, so if you do end up going, don't be ashamed of it--do what's best for you.

 

[LainIsLain]

First I will say that I can't relate to your situation due to never being in a relationship were I had to come clean about being ABDL. Never the less I hope you find common ground with your wife and hope she will eventually understand what's going on. This site is brimming with others in the very same situation your are in and there support will be forthcoming once they see this post. So hang in there!

Although I agree you probably should have come clean to your wife before you were married, the damage is done and the help of a professional may be the only reasonable choice if you plan to stay with her.

As far as professional help I will say that my experience with my therapist has been very helpful. I never felt judged for wanting to ware diapers and he helped me immensely with other aspects of my mental health. The diapers are just diapers and I love them. My journey has not lead to a decline in use but rather an embrace of what makes diapers special to me.

I sincerely hope you both find a way to live in piece with it.

 

[FridgeMagnetFish]

I feel you man. From your posting history it seems this happens a lot and you’ve already tired couples counselling, you even said your wife thinks sex is a sin... quite a bit to unpack here... but seems like she as well could do with some therapy, maybe specially sex therapy.

Anyhow give her lots of space and time to think things over and hopefully in time she will see it is not a mental illness. Seems like it’s been 10 years though since you first told her? Guessing things are comming to a head now.

There’s certainly nothing wrong with seeing a professional, could be beneficial for you on a number of levels. What’s not going to happen is for them to side with your wife’s opinion, you’re more likely to get affirmation and support that your diaper interest is perfectly harmless.

I went to couples counselling when my ex partner found out (there were other most significant issues), and they were very supportive of it.

 

[littledreamers333]

I would just say or tell your wife you need them for IC reasons Idk I hope you find or figure something out cheers man

 

[Subtlerustle]

@Seth17 I feel for you. I agree that a psychiatrist is not the appropriate professional to see even if your wife demands it. With the full bias of being a DL, I will boldly state you’re not sick and I’d bet a pack of my favourite dips that you will not get a referral to a psychiatrist as a result.
I have a real issue with your wife being disgusted and repulsed by you. I don’t know the way forward with that as a leading threat to leave you. A relationship with those words wouldn’t be acceptable to me to even begin a journey forward. Sure offer therapy to her but it should be couples therapy. She has issues of her own by the sounds of things.
I truly hope you can sort this out and meet in the middle. To be fair, given her reaction you should feel somewhat vindicated in withholding prior to marriage. Still 100% the wrong move but you knew she’d take it badly and you were right. If she is not a sex positive individual you may face an additional hurdle but the emotions of disgust have no room in a healthy relationship. If this doesn’t work out I hope you can find a way to split amicably. I don’t believe it’s a matter of picking diapers over your wife. It’s more a matter of everyone being in a healthy loving relationship and having someone where you bring the best out of one another.

 

[blaincorrous]

If I misread your situation, my apologies. Just my impression and projections on what’s presented on this thread.

Therapist or not, you’re going to have to make a decision. Your wife is unlikely to see the pain that decision causes you. I don’t think she cares as long as she gets what she wants. That’s what would concern me. Her problems seem significantly more salient than any “defect” she might see in you.

I cannot suffer a dismissive, self-centered, unempathetic person at the best of times. But I can’t imagine being married to one even if my sexuality and preferences were completely vanilla. Clearly, I can’t see this turning out well in the long term. I can’t see her accepting a therapist or counselor taking your side. I’ve seen that kind of person stomping out of couples counseling offices.

 

[blaincorrous]

I would just say or tell your wife you need them for IC reasons Idk I hope you find or figure something out cheers man

This is not a path forward. This is a lie in an already strained relationship. Do not do this.

 

[SoakedinTexas]

Do as she asks. But find one that specializes in fetish and sexual problems in marriage. They are out there just do your research.

 

[mayhem]

Sooooo I got caught by my wife who hates diapers and she is demanding that I see psychiatrist for my “mental illness”. She says something is seriously mentally wrong with me. She can’t understand why a grown man wants to wear diapers. She said she is disgusted and repulsed by it. She said she loves me but if I can’t stop then she will leave me. It’s a hard sport because we have two small children together and just bought a new house. So if I go see a psychiatrist what will happen. I’ve never been to one. Will it help me out of make it worse. At this point I’m lost at what to do. I truly wish I could stop wanting to wear and move on. I keep telling my self I can then I start thinking about all the time I have failed at it and gave in. But at the same time I was a complete idiot of not bringing this up before we got married. I was young and dumb. And she reminds me of that because she says she didn’t sign up for this. Sorry about the rant but I just need to know what to expect from a psychiatrist. Thanks y’all.

If she actually lived you she would try to understand instead of labeling you and telling you to get help. She doesn’t love you. She loves the idea of what she wants you to be. You’re better off without her.

 

[Kymi]

Sooooo I got caught by my wife who hates diapers and she is demanding that I see psychiatrist for my “mental illness”. She says something is seriously mentally wrong with me. She can’t understand why a grown man wants to wear diapers. She said she is disgusted and repulsed by it. She said she loves me but if I can’t stop then she will leave me. It’s a hard sport because we have two small children together and just bought a new house. So if I go see a psychiatrist what will happen. I’ve never been to one. Will it help me out of make it worse. At this point I’m lost at what to do. I truly wish I could stop wanting to wear and move on. I keep telling my self I can then I start thinking about all the time I have failed at it and gave in. But at the same time I was a complete idiot of not bringing this up before we got married. I was young and dumb. And she reminds me of that because she says she didn’t sign up for this. Sorry about the rant but I just need to know what to expect from a psychiatrist. Thanks y’all.

A psychiatrist will just tell you what you know; that you're a fetishist and their is no treatment or cure for it, just self-discipline and the decision to stop. A psychiatrist can't help fetishists. You will be wasting your money.

 

[Kymi]

If she actually lived you she would try to understand instead of labeling you and telling you to get help. She doesn’t love you. She loves the idea of what she wants you to be. You’re better off without her.

What about his children? Is he better off without them too?

 

[blaincorrous]

If she actually lived you she would try to understand instead of labeling you and telling you to get help. She doesn’t love you. She loves the idea of what she wants you to be. You’re better off without her.

This may be the ultimate result. She does deserve the chance to alter that course before it reaches that point.

 

[canyon]

I know this has been mentioned many times before, but folks have got to tell their significant other before marriage. AB or DL tendencies will throw folks for a big loop, then they will use it against you in many ways. OP, I hope everything works out for you and I hope y'all can tough it out. If I agreed to therapy, it would only be for a limited time period, not a never ending cycle.

 

[Kymi]

I know this has been mentioned many times before, but folks have got to tell their significant other before marriage. AB or DL tendencies will throw folks for a big loop, then they will use it against you in many ways. OP, I hope everything works out for you and I hope y'all can tough it out. If I agreed to therapy, it would only be for a limited time period, not a never ending cycle.

But OF COURSE the man should tell his wife before the marriage. If he hasn't then it's despicable of him.

 

[FridgeMagnetFish]

But OF COURSE the man should tell his wife before the marriage. If he hasn't then it's despicable of him.

Nobody doubts this, but in reality there are a number of reason why this doesn’t happen. One can’t change the past, and it’s not helpful to pile on further shame and anguish to an already difficult situation. “Despicable” is a really harsh word, yes it was a mistake, but despicable it is not.

Concentrate on the positive steps forward.

 

[Kymi]

What about his children? Is he better off without them too?

If she really lived?

 

[db80]

But OF COURSE the man should tell his wife before the marriage. If he hasn't then it's despicable of him.

and v.v. the woman should tell her fiancé before the marriage. If she hasn't then it's despicable of her.

 

[Kymi]

and v.v. the woman should tell her financé before the marriage. If she hasn't then it's despicable of her.

Yes. But most AB's are men.