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Wife doesn't approve

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Rskaw

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  1. Diaper Lover
I have always had a fascination with diapers and have from time to time over the last year or so purchased diapers and enjoyed them in private. Recently - after taking some antibiotics - started having some issues. One night I was so concerned that I would have an accident I told my wife and put out the idea of wearing diapers. She was supportive if I had a real concern so I went out and purchased a bag from CVS and put them on that night to sleep. I was so happy. Over the next week or so I made mention of the fact that the store bought brands are not that great and that I would need to order a better brand. The order came in and I continued to wear 24/7. After some time I told my wife (of 20 years) that I actually enjoyed wearing diapers and that is when she had an issue. We have talked about this several times and she is not into it at all and thinks I have a psychological problem. Perhaps I share too much too soon - I dint know. All I know is that I would like her to accept this and maybe down the line participate.

RK
 

Gardener

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  1. Diaper Lover
Many of us who married back before the internet, I suspect, have lived in the "diaper closet" for many years. I know I have. Your wife's reaction is about what I would expect if I shared my love of wearing with my wife of over 35 years. Back then I thought I was the only one with those feelings and I wasn't about to share it with anyone. After marriage the desire was subdued for years, rising only occasionally. Over the last 15 years, however, this has become more and more of an obsession with me. I participate in my diapered life only when alone. And I live in fear of my stash being discovered--even wondering if I suddenly died and they were found how this might hurt and raise all kinds of questions that could never be answered. I have on a couple occasions purged everything, only to begin collecting again.
As for your situation, at least your wife now knows. You might be able to educate her on what your fetish is and is not. Before the internet, I thought I needed psychological help. Only through sites like this have I come to terms that this is who I am and it's OK. Now if I could just get to the point of not thinking of what my survivors will think some day. Good luck!
 

dogboy

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A very good response from a new member, Gardener. I have to agree. I had to come out to my wife when she discovered my diaper order but things worked out very well. I would suggest that you lay back for a while and then readdress the issue. Give her some time to process all of this and then discuss it again. I'm sure you don't want to ruin your marriage over this, so go easy and give yourself a back door, a way to de-emphasize the need or desire should she become negative. There still are a lot of members who have to practice this on the Q-T and that might be your only alternative.
 

Calico

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I have always had a fascination with diapers and have from time to time over the last year or so purchased diapers and enjoyed them in private. Recently - after taking some antibiotics - started having some issues. One night I was so concerned that I would have an accident I told my wife and put out the idea of wearing diapers. She was supportive if I had a real concern so I went out and purchased a bag from CVS and put them on that night to sleep. I was so happy. Over the next week or so I made mention of the fact that the store bought brands are not that great and that I would need to order a better brand. The order came in and I continued to wear 24/7. After some time I told my wife (of 20 years) that I actually enjoyed wearing diapers and that is when she had an issue. We have talked about this several times and she is not into it at all and thinks I have a psychological problem. Perhaps I share too much too soon - I dint know. All I know is that I would like her to accept this and maybe down the line participate.

RK


It's more acceptable to need diapers but unacceptable to like them which is something I may never understand.
 

Traemo

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It's more acceptable to need diapers but unacceptable to like them which is something I may never understand.
There's a theory that it has a lot to do with perceptions of maturity in contemporary culture. It's considered adult to recognize and deal with one's problems. It is not considered socially acceptable to like or prefer anything associated with childhood; I think because such interest get conflated with pedophilia in the public mind.
 

Calico

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There's a theory that it has a lot to do with perceptions of maturity in contemporary culture. It's considered adult to recognize and deal with one's problems. It is not considered socially acceptable to like or prefer anything associated with childhood; I think because such interest get conflated with pedophilia in the public mind.


I wonder if it's unacceptable to like taking your medicine because it helps you or like taking your insulin or wearing a pad or tampon to deal with a period or like using wheelchair because it helps you get around or using a walker and crutches.
 

Traemo

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Not so I've noticed, Calico. My experience is that as all of your examples aren't immediately associated with children or childhood, no stigma attaches to them. I could be wrong (Goddess knows it happens enough with me), but that's my experience and observation.
 

Calico

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Not so I've noticed, Calico. My experience is that as all of your examples aren't immediately associated with children or childhood, no stigma attaches to them. I could be wrong (Goddess knows it happens enough with me), but that's my experience and observation.

Yeah it's a shame there is a stigma attached to diapers and even incontinent people have frowned upon others with it who *gasp* like their diapers. But even frowning upon it is also attaching the stigma IMO. Same as if they have to keep it hidden in their own home from their children. That also enables the stigma IMO.

I don't know if I would consider an incontinent person a DL if they like their diapers. If they would continue wearing them after they didn't need to anymore, then I would consider them so, if not, then they are not one. But if they want to consider themselves one, that is their choice even if they wouldn't keep on wearing. It would be like considering myself a pad lover or tampon lover or soft cup lover for liking using them for my periods. I have seen this sort of discussion on one of the IC forums. It's also interesting that some of them are so concerned about being an AB or DL for being comfortable in their diapers or something or just choosing to use their diaper than trying to make it to the bathroom or like preferring them. As if being a ab/dl is a bad thing but there is also a stigma about it in their community so it makes others feel ashamed about their positive feelings towards their diapers. It's also interesting to see on the Depend community they don't even know what AB is and there is a difference between AB and just wearing diapers.
 

EPO1

Est. Contributor
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1,426
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I have always had a fascination with diapers and have from time to time over the last year or so purchased diapers and enjoyed them in private. Recently - after taking some antibiotics - started having some issues. One night I was so concerned that I would have an accident I told my wife and put out the idea of wearing diapers. She was supportive if I had a real concern so I went out and purchased a bag from CVS and put them on that night to sleep. I was so happy. Over the next week or so I made mention of the fact that the store bought brands are not that great and that I would need to order a better brand. The order came in and I continued to wear 24/7. After some time I told my wife (of 20 years) that I actually enjoyed wearing diapers and that is when she had an issue. We have talked about this several times and she is not into it at all and thinks I have a psychological problem. Perhaps I share too much too soon - I dint know. All I know is that I would like her to accept this and maybe down the line participate.

RK

RK,
Oh man.... there's a boat load of wrong with the entire setting and naturally I'm not surprised your wife isn't liking it.

That aside - a note upfront:
Antibiotics make borderline IC?? There's a number of antibiotics out there of course, but IC Issues are not usually listed within the standard side effect listings.
Diarrhea - but honestly if you're experiencing this and have to take the antibiotics for a time longer than 5-12 days (depending on dosage and type and reason for taking) - you NEED TO TALK THIS OVER WITH YOUR DOCTOR...
But urinary IC issues are not amongst the normal side effects of antibiotics... again, if you experience this or stuff like that: Time to talk to the doc.
Really. fast.

That aside...
You use a medical concern / issue to get diapers - I guess every caring human being, especially friends, family, etc.. will of course be understanding that you'd choose diapers to prevent something nasty... to help with a problem.
Now if this isn't the entire truth - or you uphold wearing the diapers well past the issue this itself is often perceived as a bit of a breach of trust.
People aren't stupid - if you come out after that for liking diaper, I guess most people would be slightly pissed by having been mislead - if only partially.

Then there's the 24/7 gig - you go from "normal non-diapered" to 24/7. ... this has an impact - not only on you but on your wife to.
She might have not much of a problem if this was temporary - she might even have no problem if it would be permanent for a medical issue (albeit I guess she would like you to try to solve the medical problem instead of just resorting to diapers)...
But for fun... well I guess she would have had less of an issue if you'd been honest upfront and wouldn't indulge 24/7.

and last but not least you want her to play along... (diaper play)... well if it doesn't float her boat - don't push that issue.

I guess you two need more talk...
 

Rskaw

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EPO1,
The antibiotics were causing diarrhea which happens every time I take them. I usually can't take them morethan a day or two but with the oral surgery I had my wife insisted that I go the full round. The urinary IC is more of an urgency issue and if I'm not drinking a lot of water - or beer and am close to a bathroom I am fine. As for my wife, she thinks the diapers are a coping mechanism and or regression of some sort and perhaps it is. Perhaps she knows me better than I do. Either way, she is going to think what she wants to think and I can only be patient. The night I told her about my fetish I told her about two other fascinations I had (which I will save for later) and two weeks later she participated in one of them and it was great. I have not pushed the diaper thing at all and will keep it that way for now.

RK
 

EPO1

Est. Contributor
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1,426
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  1. Incontinent
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EPO1,
The antibiotics were causing diarrhea which happens every time I take them. I usually can't take them morethan a day or two but with the oral surgery I had my wife insisted that I go the full round. The urinary IC is more of an urgency issue and if I'm not drinking a lot of water - or beer and am close to a bathroom I am fine. As for my wife, she thinks the diapers are a coping mechanism and or regression of some sort and perhaps it is. Perhaps she knows me better than I do. Either way, she is going to think what she wants to think and I can only be patient. The night I told her about my fetish I told her about two other fascinations I had (which I will save for later) and two weeks later she participated in one of them and it was great. I have not pushed the diaper thing at all and will keep it that way for now.

RK


RK,
Talk to your doctor and have him explain HOW to use antibiotics correctly!!!!
If you are indeed only ever taking them one-to-two days you are potentially creating a FAR more serious problem (resistant bacterias...)
In 99% of the antibiotic use cases you'll have to follow through with a minimum time / dosage (there are certain exceptions -but it is rare).
Also the diarrhea can be countered with both medical and natural remedies if it is a side effect of the antibiotic.
Then there are different types and forms of antibiotics - some people have a less severe (or none at all) reaction in terms of side effects by switching to a different one (but talk to the doc').

Also the Urinary Issues you describe: have you been to an urologist?
In so many cases there is a lot that can be done these days.

After 35 years of IC so far - there is this one thing: diapers are remedial fix at best... they don't solve the underlying problem.
And whenever possible - solve the problem - it's healthier (you still can choose to wear diapers if you like to do so - but you need to separate the fetish desires from medical problems).
 

TyphaHare

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I can recommend lactic acid bacteria pills/tablets for the duration of the antibiotic use! I cannot recommend a brand since we live so far apart and I don't know what they sell there. But go to a drug store and ask for those pills, mention the antibiotics and they will know what to recommend.

Stay safe :)
 
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