I pretty much run on instincts and impulses, despite my significant intellectual ability. I'm fairly ashamed of it too, I guess, but feel powerless to change. I just cannot conquer my need for instant gratification or emotional whims. Thus, I struggle in community college, while my friends and long time intellectual equals pursue PhDs. The only difference between us is work ethic. What's worse is that unless you have this problem, you cannot hope to understand it. For example, my parents don't understand it, and it's a constant source of stress. Although, lately they are giving up on me, thank goodness.
Sometimes I wonder if this kind of life is even worth living. I'm pretty sure it's not, but I continue... just because, I guess.