Why is ABDL so lopsided with males

[SpAzpieSweeTot]

Dominant Daddy, Little Girl

I always heard Daddy Dominant, tomato tomato.

 

[Kittyinpink]

In many cases, it might also be to do with "men are expected to be tough and macho". The AB side might be the childish and vulnerable side they're not "allowed" to express in public. I think it's very sad that this expectation is so widespread, indeed that gender stereotyping at all is so widespread, and "conditions" many boys in this way from a young age, with the rhetoric "boys don't cry" and all that.

Yes. It's rough on everyone. Boys and girls. Don't you all think it's silly and detrimental to individuals and society as a whole when we can't even let a sensative and sweet boy who could contribute so much in his own way just because 'boys don't cry' etc etc.. I also feel that way towards the ridiculous stereotyping of girls as well and I understand how difficult it can be just to be yourself with all our social pointless and outdated ideas on gender expectations... Rahh !! There's my rant of the day!!

 

[Roman5]

I would guess , only guessing , but males have external sex organs and the likely hood of their organs being stimulated by rubbing against let's say a diaper are a much greater chance than a female feeling the same stimulation?

Idk, putting vibrator up the soaked diper may bring more pleasure to females than males

 

[Lyric]

In my experience as an older man who has enjoyed a diaper fetish since a teen, most people involved in the diaper fetish life style were men, and the women involved tended to be caregivers or spouses rather than diaper wearers. But my impression is that has changed over the past decade or two and more women have been willing to explore wearing and using diapers and more men have enjoyed the caregiver role. I suspect the internet, social media and such things have given more people exposure to our world and wearing diapers has more acceptance for both sexes than it did when i was younger.

 

[SpAzpieSweeTot]

Yes. It's rough on everyone. Boys and girls. Don't you all think it's silly and detrimental to individuals and society as a whole when we can't even let a sensative and sweet boy who could contribute so much in his own way just because 'boys don't cry' etc etc.. I also feel that way towards the ridiculous stereotyping of girls as well and I understand how difficult it can be just to be yourself with all our social pointless and outdated ideas on gender expectations... Rahh !! There's my rant of the day!!

Essentially when boys develop slower than girls do. Research, what little there is, says that boys need the exact opposite of what they get, growing up. They need more cuddles, and get less. They need more help emotionally regulating, and get told to suck it up.

 

[WillFord384]

Given that the very nature of the thread means we're going to be speaking about general trends, I think another factor is that males tend to be more obsessive about nearly everything, more inclined to jump into some interest with both feet while letting a bunch of other things slide. We're less balanced, less moderated.

So in any hobby / fetish / lifestyle subgroup the males are more likely to get seriously into collecting or competing or arguing or doing projects related to that interest like creating a diaper wiki (ahem) or inventing a bedwetting simulator, and thus are going to be more visible in that subgroup.

This tendency toward laser-focused, obsessive (and often competitive) intensity can be good and bad. I say vive la difference. It takes all kinds.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

Men are weird. Not males...men. Those who worship testosterone or brush their teeth with Androgel. And they're so undecided: they build stuff, they blow it up. They go after other guys' gals or shoot another guy for his parking spot. Weirdos. It's a wonder I have the plumbing and yet also have a projected IQ of 140-150. How dat woik?

I think I'll go get a Jack Daniels latté...with foam & sprinkles. Any takers?

 

[OmiOMy]

(In case I'm quoted or referenced, my pronouns are ze/zir)

I'm nonbinary. So I have a different perspective. What I have noticed is that men tend to be more...fetishy about this than nonmen. They tend to be pushier, and so the rest of us kind of shrink back.

I really don't think the oft-cited anatomical reason is the big factor here. It's the easy explanation, but I think it's more complicated than that. Yes, there will be differences in sensation, but swathed in a diaper, the sensation trends closer to similar than different.

Then there's the aggro men who look to sexualize every interaction with other genders, or just blast it out there, no filter. This is pretty off-putting, especially in a community with a surprising number of acespec people. It's enough to send one back to lurking. If there was one piece of advice I could give, it'd be: CHILL.

My theory is that yes, the nonmen are out there, but we're laying low for the moment because we want to feel out the atmosphere. There's probably a lot of us. We just don't feel safe enough to be "out and loud" even in this space.

 

[SpAzpieSweeTot]

(In case I'm quoted or referenced, my pronouns are ze/zir)

I'm nonbinary. So I have a different perspective. What I have noticed is that men tend to be more...fetishy about this than nonmen. They tend to be pushier, and so the rest of us kind of shrink back.

I really don't think the oft-cited anatomical reason is the big factor here. It's the easy explanation, but I think it's more complicated than that. Yes, there will be differences in sensation, but swathed in a diaper, the sensation trends closer to similar than different.

Then there's the aggro men who look to sexualize every interaction with other genders, or just blast it out there, no filter. This is pretty off-putting, especially in a community with a surprising number of acespec people. It's enough to send one back to lurking. If there was one piece of advice I could give, it'd be: CHILL.

My theory is that yes, the nonmen are out there, but we're laying low for the moment because we want to feel out the atmosphere. There's probably a lot of us. We just don't feel safe enough to be "out and loud" even in this space.

Ze/zhe is right. There's no place like ADISC, but even home has it's flaws. This is the only place I know of, where we can not have sex thrown at us, but can still talk about it when it comes up, but, sometimes, I feel like an afterthought. When the forum girls get put with is sissies, and you look at what sissy means to the rest of the kink universe, it's a bit salt provoking, sometimes. I know, here, we think of sissies as being trans leaning toward fem, but, in the rest of the kinkiverse, it means a man, who finds it so embarrassing to be put in pretty LG clothes, that it's arousing.

Given that nothing about being trans is, or, at least, should be, embarrassing, how are trans people who lean fem supposed to feel? Trans women are women. That's nothing to be embarrassed about, and yet, they put women, cis or trans, in the same sub-forum as men who climax over the embarrassment of being treated like LGs? What? I can't relate to that.

I'm not bashing anyone who's into that, just saying I wish I felt like I. . . I don't know. . . Wouldn't be overlooked for telling someone on the sissies/girls sub-forum their dress was cute, because I'm not a sissy.

 

[ShyBoo81]

In many cases, it might also be to do with "men are expected to be tough and macho". The AB side might be the childish and vulnerable side they're not "allowed" to express in public. I think it's very sad that this expectation is so widespread, indeed that gender stereotyping at all is so widespread, and "conditions" many boys in this way from a young age, with the rhetoric "boys don't cry" and all that.

^This^ Its partially why I hate being a guy, so being in the AB community part-time has become a sort of haven for me.

Right?! Sweet Lolita is the cutest darn thing on the face of the earth! I'm absolutely in love with Sugar Candy Shop, in pink, from Angelic Pretty! I'd give my left lung, only because no one wants my kidneys, for it! Find me that print and colorway, in good condition, and we may need to discuss it.

The thing is, Lolita is a fashion community. That's it. That's all. There are minors allowed to be present, as a result.

Lolitas have had a hard time with some of us, because, Tumblr is Tumblr, and Insta is Insta, and a few Littles will wear Lolita, or other kawaii fashion, while in Littlespace, and post in safe for work tags, or go out without bloomers over their diapers, with pacis in, and post on Lolita sites. Now, I understand that for a lot of us, it has more to do with being comfortable in our own skin than anything else, but they don't know that, and because of a few bad apples, they don't care.

Knowing what a difficult time they're having, I'm always going to cover up my diaper, and never letting my paci be seen, while wearing Lolita or other kawaii fashion, because it's only 2 people on earth's beeswax, anyway, mine and Daddy's. If I wear it to somewhere like TeddyCon or CAPCon, I'll have a red wristband.

Heck yeah, Lolita is the cutest type of fashion ever, along with other Japanese kawaii fashion!

But thing is, Lolita is very sophisticated and the community has strict rules on how to coordinate a dress properly, so I could see why very few Littles will wear Lolita.

Yes. It's rough on everyone. Boys and girls. Don't you all think it's silly and detrimental to individuals and society as a whole when we can't even let a sensative and sweet boy who could contribute so much in his own way just because 'boys don't cry' etc etc.. I also feel that way towards the ridiculous stereotyping of girls as well and I understand how difficult it can be just to be yourself with all our social pointless and outdated ideas on gender expectations... Rahh !! There's my rant of the day!!

Preach! I wish society would just get rid of most gender double standards that still exist today. I think both genders (heck even non-binary folks too) will benefit so much from this.

Men are weird. Not males...men. Those who worship testosterone or brush their teeth with Androgel. And they're so undecided: they build stuff, they blow it up. They go after other guys' gals or shoot another guy for his parking spot. Weirdos. It's a wonder I have the plumbing and yet also have a projected IQ of 140-150. How dat woik?

I think I'll go get a Jack Daniels latté...with foam & sprinkles. Any takers?

Exactly! I'm a male, but don't like associating myself with other men. Some of them just ooze toxic masculinity. Ewww

 

[SpAzpieSweeTot]

Given that the very nature of the thread means we're going to be speaking about general trends, I think another factor is that males tend to be more obsessive about nearly everything, more inclined to jump into some interest with both feet while letting a bunch of other things slide. We're less balanced, less moderated.

So in any hobby / fetish / lifestyle subgroup the males are more likely to get seriously into collecting or competing or arguing or doing projects related to that interest like creating a diaper wiki (ahem) or inventing a bedwetting simulator, and thus are going to be more visible in that subgroup.

This tendency toward laser-focused, obsessive (and often competitive) intensity can be good and bad. I say vive la difference. It takes all kinds.

Oh, God, no. This isn't a guy thing. I obsess, too, and I'm female! Keep in mind, I'm also more than likely autistic, so that might be a thing, but, yeah. . .

Now, mine looks different than most people, because I'm a cloth person, but the only difference, is, where most people might browser window shop at ABU, Rearz, or Tykables, I go on Wazoodle. That's a fabric store. I swear, cloth diapers are like hot rods! Hot rods are built so people can have their dream car, from the ground up. Well, with cloth, you can make exactly what you want, the same way. I like AB things, too. Nothing I want exists in nature! Do you have any idea how many hours I've obsessed about my bottle, my diaper stash, my dresses, my all silicone paci, and my combination teether/mirror/chime rattle toy? Hours, and hours, and hours, and hours. No, it's not just guys.

 

[ShyBoo81]

Ze/zhe is right. There's no place like ADISC, but even home has it's flaws. This is the only place I know of, where we can not have sex thrown at us, but can still talk about it when it comes up, but, sometimes, I feel like an afterthought. When the forum girls get put with is sissies, and you look at what sissy means to the rest of the kink universe, it's a bit salt provoking, sometimes. I know, here, we think of sissies as being trans leaning toward fem, but, in the rest of the kinkiverse, it means a man, who finds it so embarrassing to be put in pretty LG clothes, that it's arousing.

Given that nothing about being trans is, or, at least, should be, embarrassing, how are trans people who lean fem supposed to feel? Trans women are women. That's nothing to be embarrassed about, and yet, they put women, cis or trans, in the same sub-forum as men who climax over the embarrassment of being treated like LGs? What? I can't relate to that.

I'm not bashing anyone who's into that, just saying I wish I felt like I. . . I don't know. . . Wouldn't be overlooked for telling someone on the sissies/girls sub-forum their dress was cute, because I'm not a sissy.

I agree, the Sissy/Girls sub-forum is such a mixed bag sometimes. On one hand you'll find posts relating to female topics (both cis and trans girls), but on the other hand you'll find posts relating to men who get a kink out of LG clothes. Not that I'm bashing anyone who's into sissy as a kink, but its odd how the two groups clash together in the same sub-forum.

 

[SpAzpieSweeTot]

Heck yeah, Lolita is the cutest type of fashion ever, along with other Japanese kawaii fashion! but thing is, Lolita is very sophisticated and the community has strict rules on how to coordinate a dress properly, so I could see why very few Littles will wear Lolita.

I love it! The thing is, I don’t like being told how Little to feel, at any given moment. You'll never see me wear Sesame Street, because the curriculum is intended for 2-year-olds. I love the show, I'll watch it when I feel drawn to it. Sup, julia?! You're my favorite character! I want a dolly of you!

but I won't wear it, because I feel like it's pulling me toward 2, instead of letting me float into what I feel, instead of letting everything I feel be okay.

How my diaper design goes on, and what it is, explains this. They're too thick, cute, and "fully assaultable," to fool anyone. They're diapers; okay? They open at the sides, like Pull-Ups, but you can't tell they come open at all, so that's like big girl undies, accept for being too dang thick and cute, and, ummmm. . . Functional, to be anything but a diaper.

I might choose a bottle, a sippy, or a straw cup, depending on who's looking, or how I feel, but I'll have my paci. It might be in Daddy's pocket, but I'll know where George is. That's my paci's name.

If someone where to look at me Littled out, they might say, "What. . . Is she? She's one of us, and she's a girl, but, is she a bABy Girl, a toddler, or a Little Lady?"

Sweet Lolita would let me choose! It's cute, however you feel. I also like that my shoulders and knees would be covered. I'm just fancy like that. The fake men you don't associate with, can't stare at, or touch, what they can't see. Everything between my covered Little shoulders, and my covered Little knees, belongs to me and matters to Daddy.

 

[Deleted member 49306]

Men are weird. Not males...men. Those who worship testosterone or brush their teeth with Androgel. And they're so undecided: they build stuff, they blow it up. They go after other guys' gals or shoot another guy for his parking spot. Weirdos. It's a wonder I have the plumbing and yet also have a projected IQ of 140-150. How dat woik?

I think I'll go get a Jack Daniels latté...with foam & sprinkles. Any takers?

Does that come in a baba?

 

[SofiaInPampers]

Wow, this thread has left me confused. I have always seen myself as a simple DL girl with the internal plumbing to go along with it. I do get pleasure “down there” when I wear my diapers but it isn’t totally a sexual thing. This thread did make me think that maybe I do have some deep down regression desires. I was always daddy’s girl.

 

[feetintrouble]

I have always thought that girls were more into this than guys. Because when you look at social media pages like on Instagram; almost 90% of the ABDL posts on there are girls. There are a few guys; but they are few and far between.

Perhaps the guys who are into it don't want to put it on social media. Some girls can just about get away with being "baby-like" for real, and wearing the clothes in public; many guys would be utterly ruined if they were "outed". Some girls too, depending on their set-up.

 

[tails1234]

I have always thought that girls were more into this than guys. Because when you look at social media pages like on Instagram; almost 90% of the ABDL posts on there are girls. There are a few guys; but they are few and far between.

as someone who's lurked in places for nearly ten years, I've seen the community go from "absolutely zero females" to "a bunch more 20 somethings than you would expect" I honestly think Instagram, Tumbler, Reddit and the explosion of ABDL diapers helped this, along with DDLG. One thing I've kind of noticed is "text forums" like this are predominately male, and "picture forums" are either 50/50 or mostly female. I'll also just put "internet" as a reason this fetish seems so male oriented. I remember reading a stat that like 80% of a particular dating website was male. Idk if it's the stigma of finding someone online or "not wanting to deal with creeps" but women just don't make themselves known online like men do.

 

[buridan]

I used to think that the ABDL community was overwhelmingly male. Then I went to a munch where the male-female ratio was roughly equal. I expressed surprise at the roughly equal gender ratio and asked how they achieved this in a community that was overwhelmingly male. People looked at me as if I had two heads. Their perception was that the ABDL community was 50-50 male-female and that their munch's gender ratio was typical.

Who's right? I have no idea. I do know that it's a mistake to assume that any specific ABDL group you're a part of (including ADISC) is a representative sample of the world's ABDLs.