Why is ABDL so lopsided with males

[Babyboy83]

I have often wondered why there are so many more males into ABDL versus females. Is it the way we are wired?

 

[Deleted member 49306]

Shurley, we’re not all seeking a mommy.

 

[Kittyinpink]

I would guess , only guessing , but males have external sex organs and the likely hood of their organs being stimulated by rubbing against let's say a diaper are a much greater chance than a female feeling the same stimulation?

 

[chrischrischris]

I see this probably get shot for this think men are more sensitive than woman and end up pissing them selves

 

[Deleted member 49306]

I don’t think this is it, I’m IC from an injury which has stolen most feeling and sensation from the affected area.
yet I feel more comfortable wearing a diaper than not.
(the AB came after the injury), maybe I’m just embracing the lifestyle from necessity .
maybe there are as many women involved in the AB thing and they are just not as extroverted as men are.

 

[PaciBabyGirl]

I don’t think this is it, I’m IC from an injury which has stolen most feeling and sensation from the affected area.
yet I feel more comfortable wearing a diaper than not.
(the AB came after the injury), maybe I’m just embracing the lifestyle from necessity .
maybe there are as many women involved in the AB thing and they are just not as extroverted as men are.

Usually this is the case. It seems in most cases, especially sexual wise, women are not very open about it. I know this from experience. Many of the women, including myself, don't talk about personal things. We stay closed off, mainly to keep from being hurt. So it is very possible that many women are ab/dl but aren't open about it due to these reasons. Now, I can't speak for every woman though! So I could be wrong about how some women are! I'm going off my own experiences, with women and in my own situation.

 

[ChocChip]

I would guess , only guessing , but males have external sex organs and the likely hood of their organs being stimulated by rubbing against let's say a diaper are a much greater chance than a female feeling the same stimulation?

I think there’s an element of that, but also women are more likely to keep quiet about it (and other “kink” interests) given the harassment they can receive from men if they put themselves out there (unsolicited messages, and worse).

 

[Alexis39]

I think there's a few general factors at play;

• Women are "taught" to be much more reserved with their interests and fantasies (particularly those of a sexual nature), though that notion is thankfully changing.
• Especially online (where anonymity comes so easily), women are subject to some rather... undesirable interactions, meaning many are put off.
• Because anonymity is so easy to achieve, the alternative - to lurk, or disguise one's gender - is often preferable.

So I think it's a lot less unbalanced than it seems - I'd guess somewhere between 20% and 30% of ABDLs are female, maybe even as many as half.

A theory of mine is that ABDL seems to have strong ties to societal expectations. A lot of the appeal of ABDLism is in feeling safe, nurtured and innocent. Generally speaking, men are expected to be less free with their emotions. They're encouraged to be strong, authoritative and independent.

I think a large aspect of ABDLism is borne out of a desire to reconnect with those lost, repressed or discouraged behaviours. And because women are able to explore those feelings openly and "normally", without fear of ridicule, they're less likely to feel that desire to engage in ABDL activities.

Just my two cents as a woman who likes to ponder such things

 

[ChocChip]

I’ve also noticed that women in this community in general tend to be more often AB/little oriented, and less often purely DL... maybe the anatomical aspect plays a part in that, but I suppose also ABs often tend to want a daddy/mummy/carer, so people will show themselves more on social media, whereas DL is something that can be enjoyed privately and alone, even if many would like a partner to share it with, so women of that persuasion are more likely to stay quiet because of the unwanted attention they would get.

 

[Kittyinpink]

I think there’s an element of that, but also women are more likely to keep quiet about it (and other “kink” interests) given the harassment they can receive from men if they put themselves out there (unsolicited messages, and worse).

Good point.

 

[SpAzpieSweeTot]

I do wonder if it's an external genitalia thing, like, because boy parts are external, there's more contact with the diaper.

Now, I am cis female. I can tell you it feels weird, being here and being cis female, because I am so outnumbered, though, much less so, now that I've found Daddy.

I'd hazard a guess, that girls also aren't as into ABDL, because, sometimes, when they do dip a toe in, they get bombarded with bABy boys, saying, "Oh, no, you should be my mommy!"

The problem is, apparently, the first people to start calling themselves Littles, were cis females, so when a male, cis or otherwise, who feels older than a bABy, so Little fits him better, bumps into a LG, from the DDLG side, where the fact that we're allowed to want to be cooed, babied, and cared for, too, without being bombarded by bABy males, begging us to mommy them, is acknowledged and encouraged, guess what he gets.

"No, diapers are a fetish element, because that's one LG with a website's opinion, and you can't be a Little without a BIG, so, you should be my Daddy!"

Unfair much? Pot/Kettle much? Yes! No matter the gender, this is hard for us, especially before we realize we're not as different as we think, and diaper or not, it doesn't change Little fitting better if you don't feel like a bABy.

Sometimes, I wonder if I'd fit better, and feel better, in DDLG circles, where at least people know we're alive. Hell, it's in the name, and that acknowledgement just feels nice, but, then, I'd have to deal with their apparent beef with diapers, and how they seem to treat males, not to mention that second D in DDLG, which seems to turn everything so dark and heavy.

 

[Teddy]

The way it was explained to me decades ago was that females are able to more freely express themselves, whereas males are expected to be reserved.

You can especially see this in clothing styles. Females can get away with sporting cute printed shirts and shortalls, where as a male gets strange looks and frowned on if they do it.

 

[Curiositykilledthecat]

I think there's a few general factors at play;

• Women are "taught" to be much more reserved with their interests and fantasies (particularly those of a sexual nature), though that notion is thankfully changing.
• Especially online (where anonymity comes so easily), women are subject to some rather... undesirable interactions, meaning many are put off.
• Because anonymity is so easy to achieve, the alternative - to lurk, or disguise one's gender - is often preferable.

So I think it's a lot less unbalanced than it seems - I'd guess somewhere between 20% and 30% of ABDLs are female, maybe even as many as half.

A theory of mine is that ABDL seems to have strong ties to societal expectations. A lot of the appeal of ABDLism is in feeling safe, nurtured and innocent. Generally speaking, men are expected to be less free with their emotions. They're encouraged to be strong, authoritative and independent.

I think a large aspect of ABDLism is borne out of a desire to reconnect with those lost, repressed or discouraged behaviours. And because women are able to explore those feelings openly and "normally", without fear of ridicule, they're less likely to feel that desire to engage in ABDL activities.

Just my two cents as a woman who likes to ponder such things

This, it is really nice to see other women online with the same interest.
It made me feel less weird about my diaper thing going on.

But about the girls being thought not to be open about their fantasies our sex life. Yeah I totally recognise that.
Although I notice that the younger generation is a bit more open about it.

 

[SpAzpieSweeTot]

The way it was explained to me decades ago was that females are able to more freely express themselves, whereas males are expected to be reserved.

You can especially see this in clothing styles. Females can get away with sporting cute printed shirts and shortalls, where as a male gets strange looks and frowned on if they do it.

Good point! I see it, too.

Something else I see, is, if what you want is modest, dressy, and not just cute, but obviously youthful and adorable, you end up just as frowned upon and stared at as the average AB guy.

I have such a hard time finding Little bABy Girl clothes, because AB dresses are so obviously fetish wear. They seem way too short!

 

[Curiositykilledthecat]

Good point! I see it, too.

Something else I see, is, if what you want is modest, dressy, and not just cute, but obviously youthful and adorable, you end up just as frowned upon and stared at as the average AB guy.

I have such a hard time finding Little bABy Girl clothes, because AB dresses are so obviously fetish wear. They seem way too short!

Well you could check out Japanese our Korean kawaii like clothing. They are cute but a bit more modest.

 

[Kittyinpink]

I do wonder if it's an external genitalia thing, like, because boy parts are external, there's more contact with the diaper.

Now, I am cis female. I can tell you it feels weird, being here and being cis female, because I am so outnumbered, though, much less so, now that I've found Daddy.

I'd hazard a guess, that girls also aren't as into ABDL, because, sometimes, when they do dip a toe in, they get bombarded with bABy boys, saying, "Oh, no, you should be my mommy!"

The problem is, apparently, the first people to start calling themselves Littles, were cis females, so when a male, cis or otherwise, who feels older than a bABy, so Little fits him better, bumps into a LG, from the DDLG side, where the fact that we're allowed to want to be cooed, babied, and cared for, too, without being bombarded by bABy males, begging us to mommy them, is acknowledged and encouraged, guess what he gets.

"No, diapers are a fetish element, because that's one LG with a website's opinion, and you can't be a Little without a BIG, so, you should be my Daddy!"

Unfair much? Pot/Kettle much? Yes! No matter the gender, this is hard for us, especially before we realize we're not as different as we think, and diaper or not, it doesn't change Little fitting better if you don't feel like a bABy.

Sometimes, I wonder if I'd fit better, and feel better, in DDLG circles, where at least people know we're alive. Hell, it's in the name, and that acknowledgement just feels nice, but, then, I'd have to deal with their apparent beef with diapers, and how they seem to treat males, not to mention that second D in DDLG, which seems to turn everything so dark and heavy.

What does DDLG stand for please? I'm sorry asking but I don't actually know what that means.

 

[Teddy]

What does DDLG stand for please? I'm sorry asking but I don't actually know what that means.

Dominant Daddy, Little Girl

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

I do wonder if it's an external genitalia thing, like, because boy parts are external, there's more contact with the diaper.

Not sure it's the biggest part, but getting tickled by a diaper all day long is a very sweet dividend of being in diapers.

 

[feetintrouble]

In many cases, it might also be to do with "men are expected to be tough and macho". The AB side might be the childish and vulnerable side they're not "allowed" to express in public. I think it's very sad that this expectation is so widespread, indeed that gender stereotyping at all is so widespread, and "conditions" many boys in this way from a young age, with the rhetoric "boys don't cry" and all that.

 

[SpAzpieSweeTot]

Well you could check out Japanese our Korean kawaii like clothing. They are cute but a bit more modest.

Right?! Sweet Lolita is the cutest darn thing on the face of the earth! I'm absolutely in love with Sugar Candy Shop, in pink, from Angelic Pretty! I'd give my left lung, only because no one wants my kidneys, for it! Find me that print and colorway, in good condition, and we may need to discuss it.

The thing is, Lolita is a fashion community. That's it. That's all. There are minors allowed to be present, as a result.

Lolitas have had a hard time with some of us, because, Tumblr is Tumblr, and Insta is Insta, and a few Littles will wear Lolita, or other kawaii fashion, while in Littlespace, and post in safe for work tags, or go out without bloomers over their diapers, with pacis in, and post on Lolita sites. Now, I understand that for a lot of us, it has more to do with being comfortable in our own skin than anything else, but they don't know that, and because of a few bad apples, they don't care.

Knowing what a difficult time they're having, I'm always going to cover up my diaper, and never letting my paci be seen, while wearing Lolita or other kawaii fashion, because it's only 2 people on earth's beeswax, anyway, mine and Daddy's. If I wear it to somewhere like TeddyCon or CAPCon, I'll have a red wristband.