Why do so many within the ABDL community feel that they need justification, or approval of others, to wear a diaper?

SebUK97

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I'm still fairly new to wearing diapers, and to the community, but since joining this forum i am baffled, as to why so many who choose to wear diapers, feel conflicted in doing so, and seek to justify their actions or seek the approval of others?

As adults surely we are capable of deciding whether something we are doing feels right or wrong? I'm not referring to situations such as approval from say a partner or family members, but more in general.

I'm fully aware of the societal stance on all things ABDL, but surely within this community we all share a common interest, and really shouldn't need to seek approval of others, or feel like we constantly need to justify wearing a diaper.

i like wearing a diaper, and i also like to make my own decisions in life, without being influenced one way or another by someone else, because then it is no longer my decision.

I think it's fantastic that this site exists, and allows us to gain advice and opinions, but also to express our own, while at the same time making meaningful friendships with others. I think seeking advice is always a good thing, especially when you are new to something.

What are your thoughts?
 
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I grew up never knowing that my diaper attraction was common among some other people. There was not a good way to find that out back then. So I grew up always doing what I wanted to do when it came to exploring my interests. So, yes, I agree, we are all adults and get to make our own choices. Have fun! :)
 
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SebUK97 said:
I'm still fairly new to wearing diapers, and to the community, but since joining this forum i am baffled, as to why so many who choose to wear diapers, feel conflicted in doing so, and seek to justify their actions or seek the approval of others?
I wonder if the justification comes from being surrounded in a world that prioritizes non-fetish obsessions and wanting some level of support for something that many others consider as deviant. I had no problem embracing the deviance, having already a strong share of it from my stimming tendencies associated with autism. It takes a level of independence to take that first step in seeing diapers as part of your personal identity whether for sex, comfort, or incontinence. It is a bonus to find others who share in this passion and maybe have more experience to share that enhance your own.

My main thought is this as I lean towards the DL side at first: What I do in the comfort of my bedroom or closed curtains is no on else’s concern but my own. Respect those boundaries and don’t intrude on it or try to break it, if you wouldn’t like someone doing the same to you.
 
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Guilt, shame and conformity are learned at a very early age.
I knew that what I was doing was 'wrong' from the off (not counting the fact that I was fiddling the bedwetting chart thingy and thus getting 50p for each 'dry' night 😁; that didn't last long, though 😕).
Of course, that was then, when the idea of wearing protection for bedwetting wasn't even entertained (with the befuddling irony that, as a newsagents, we had various newspapers advertising protective garments for bedwetting; it took the much later ad campaigns for GNs/DNs to change social acceptance).
 
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I wear a diaper for IC some people know.
I wear a diaper as a DL as it helps with anxiety & ptsd. I generally don't share that nor do I ask for permission.

now this is just my opinion but perhaps it's similar to coming out of the closet in the lgtbq community? People want to feel love and acceptance for their lives & choices?

For some it might be dom sub things feeling like they need permission

just my 2 cents (Canadian)
 
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messydiaper said:
I grew up never knowing that my diaper attraction was common among some other people. There was not a good way to find that out back then. So I grew up always doing what I wanted to do when it came to exploring my interests. So, yes, I agree, we are all adults and get to make our own choices. Have fun! :)
I get that, the www is a wonderful thing! Hope you are having fun too. :)
 
MetalDan86 said:
I wonder if the justification comes from being surrounded in a world that prioritizes non-fetish obsessions and wanting some level of support for something that many others consider as deviant. I had no problem embracing the deviance, having already a strong share of it from my stimming tendencies associated with autism. It takes a level of independence to take that first step in seeing diapers as part of your personal identity whether for sex, comfort, or incontinence. It is a bonus to find others who share in this passion and maybe have more experience to share that enhance your own.

My main thought is this as I lean towards the DL side at first: What I do in the comfort of my bedroom or closed curtains is no on else’s concern but my own. Respect those boundaries and don’t intrude on it or try to break it, if you wouldn’t like someone doing the same to you.
Exactly, i don't think it is anyones business but your own, whatever your reasons for wearing a diaper, they are personal to you, unless of course you choose to involve others. (y):)
 
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ade said:
Guilt, shame and conformity are learned at a very early age.
I knew that what I was doing was 'wrong' from the off (not counting the fact that I was fiddling the bedwetting chart thingy and thus getting 50p for each 'dry' night 😁; that didn't last long, though 😕).
Of course, that was then, when the idea of wearing protection for bedwetting wasn't even entertained (with the befuddling irony that, as a newsagents, we had various newspapers advertising protective garments for bedwetting; it took the much later ad campaigns for GNs/DNs to change social acceptance).
:ROFLMAO: Opinions do indeed change over time, but whose got time to wait? Time waits for no one, if you enjoy something, and it's not against the law, then where is the harm? Social conditioning exists, but once you are an adult you can make your own decisions in life. (y):)
 
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SparkyDog said:
I wear a diaper for IC some people know.
I wear a diaper as a DL as it helps with anxiety & ptsd. I generally don't share that nor do I ask for permission.

now this is just my opinion but perhaps it's similar to coming out of the closet in the lgtbq community? People want to feel love and acceptance for their lives & choices?

For some it might be dom sub things feeling like they need permission

just my 2 cents (Canadian)
I mean being incontinent removes the decision element, and replaces it with need. That said, wearing a diaper through need can indeed also be an enjoyable experience too. 🫂

Their are similarities with the LGBTQ+ community around acceptance i guess, but not so much if it's a private thing, which doesn't really involve anyone else. I suppose that applies more to "AB" seeking a care giver or partner with which to share the experience, but i guess it could apply to DL too. (y):)
 
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SebUK97 said:
I'm still fairly new to wearing diapers, and to the community, but since joining this forum i am baffled, as to why so many who choose to wear diapers, feel conflicted in doing so, and seek to justify their actions or seek the approval of others?

As adults surely we are capable of deciding whether something we are doing feels right or wrong? I'm not referring to situations such as approval from say a partner or family members, but more in general.

I'm fully aware of the societal stance on all things ABDL, but surely within this community we all share a common interest, and really shouldn't need to seek approval of others, or feel like we constantly need to justify wearing a diaper.

i like wearing a diaper, and i also like to make my own decisions in life, without being influenced one way or another by someone else, because then it is no longer my decision.

I think it's fantastic that this site exists, and allows us to gain advice and opinions, but also to express our own, while at the same time making meaningful friendships with others. I think seeking advice is always a good thing, especially when you are new to something.

What are your thoughts?
I agree 100% with you sebUK97,
we are adults capable of our own decisions.
 
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I think it’s partly diaper shame and partly the large number of young people on here who are still discovering themselves and have grown up using social media.

Exactly whose approval are people seeking? Other people who also wear diapers? Nameless strangers? On a support site that caters to ABDLs? The question is rhetorical and the answer is reaffirming. Because I’ve known I was different and have worn diapers all my life, the positive affirmation might have been something I looked for as a teenager.
 
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Jorelaxed said:
I agree 100% with you sebUK97,
we are adults capable of our own decisions.
Thank You. 🫂 (y):)
 
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Eclectic said:
I think it’s partly diaper shame and partly the large number of young people on here who are still discovering themselves and have grown up using social media.

Exactly whose approval are people seeking? Other people who also wear diapers? Nameless strangers? On a support site that caters to ABDLs? The question is rhetorical and the answer is reaffirming. Because I’ve known I was different and have worn diapers all my life, the positive affirmation might have been something I looked for as a teenager.
🫂
 
SebUK97 said:
I mean being incontinent removes the decision element, and replaces it with need. That said, wearing a diaper through need can indeed also be an enjoyable experience too. 🫂

Their are similarities with the LGBTQ+ community around acceptance i guess, but not so much if it's a private thing, which doesn't really involve anyone else. I suppose that applies more to "AB" seeking a care giver or partner with which to share the experience, but i guess it could apply to DL too. (y):)
Well a lot of people never tell a soul and others have a need to share
Some people share what they do in the bedroom and others dont
just comes down to the individual
 
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SparkyDog said:
Well a lot of people never tell a soul and others have a need to share
Some people share what they do in the bedroom and others dont
just comes down to the individual
Absolutely, but there is no wrong or right way on reflection. :unsure: It is true that older generations tend to be more private, while those of us who grew up with the internet do tend to be more open, but also more reliant on feeling accepted. It is after all a natural human trait to want to feel accepted by others, however I also feel that sometimes, and in certain situations, that privacy is equally important.
 
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SebUK97 said:
I'm still fairly new to wearing diapers, and to the community, but since joining this forum i am baffled, as to why so many who choose to wear diapers, feel conflicted in doing so, and seek to justify their actions or seek the approval of others?

As adults surely we are capable of deciding whether something we are doing feels right or wrong? I'm not referring to situations such as approval from say a partner or family members, but more in general.

I'm fully aware of the societal stance on all things ABDL, but surely within this community we all share a common interest, and really shouldn't need to seek approval of others, or feel like we constantly need to justify wearing a diaper.

i like wearing a diaper, and i also like to make my own decisions in life, without being influenced one way or another by someone else, because then it is no longer my decision.

I think it's fantastic that this site exists, and allows us to gain advice and opinions, but also to express our own, while at the same time making meaningful friendships with others. I think seeking advice is always a good thing, especially when you are new to something.

What are your thoughts?
My thought is we are fully grown adults and don’t even need to ask for approval permission to wear Diapers it’s our own body and we can do whatever want that makes us happy and comfortable with this 1 life we got and make use of it ITS OUR LIFESTYLE
 
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SebUK97 said:
Absolutely, but there is no wrong or right way on reflection. :unsure: It is true that older generations tend to be more private, while those of us who grew up with the internet do tend to be more open, but also more reliant on feeling accepted. It is after all a natural human trait to want to feel accepted by others, however I also feel that sometimes, and in certain situations, that privacy is equally important.
You are not wrong
Everyone is different and processes differently
We have had many chats on the forum where people caution telling as you can't untell someone. I still do this to this day, but I also understand why they want to share. Though I wager way more people keep it private than tell others
 
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SparkyDog said:
You are not wrong
Everyone is different and processes differently
We have had many chats on the forum where people caution telling as you can't untell someone. I still do this to this day, but I also understand why they want to share. Though I wager way more people keep it private than tell others
Agreed. (y) :)
 
I think it’s partly down to how sensationalised the media can be whenever they cover a report on ABDLs. Ultimately, it’s more often than not an inaccurate account of being like we are, and I think that adds a further element of shame.

On the other hand, if people are into nappies because they enjoy wearing, it’s something that others can’t easily understand. It’s something we intuitively have to hide. When you find other people who also enjoy wearing and also tell you it’s okay to be like this, it’s amazing to not have to hide this side of ourselves, even for a short while.

However, I think it is probably something linked more closely to being a new ABDL and finding your way. It can be confusing trying to understand it and stressful trying to hide nappies. New ABDLs may need more encouragement to get used to it.
 
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