makena43 said:
So how do I work on my insecureness and not caring about what others think. Do I appear needy if I look at girl every 5 minutes or less? I hope being insecure and not knowing who I am. Which I drew a blank . I know my likes. My work but how do I find my true self?
What do you mean by look at a girl every five minutes? Is that a girl you're interested in? Even so I would say that is an obsessive problem an not recommend it.
You work on your insecurities by doing. You have one life, your fear of being exposed is petty at best and insignificant at worst, people don't care, remember? You're 44 so I would think this would be even more of a motivation for you as a lot more time than me is already spent so now's the time to change it and save the rest of your life. Know that you can only spend time you'll never get it back and put that value at the forefront of your mind; this is critical in overcoming it.
Also know it's doubtful for the fear/insecurities to ever go away but instead of the fear controlling you, you now control it. Fear is an evolutionary response designed to keep us safe however in modern times it mostly gets in the way of everyone's goals and ambitions and ability to live life on their terms.
Whenever I didn't do what I wanted because of my fear of being caught (aka my insecurities) such as not buying adult nappies from a pharmacy I would mentally beat myself into motivation to the point I would get angry. Which in some cases I would turn the car right around and go to another nearby pharmacy walk in, buy what I wanted and walk out before I even realized what I'd done. The motivation that pushed me would always be this quote, again by Steve Jobs "your time is limited so don't waste it living someone else's life."
Again it's about placing an intrinsic value on time and upon doing so it'll push you do things you really want to do. Your insecurities stem from the consequences of it. But as I said no one really cares and a year from now you really think strangers in the stores will remember seeing you in a diaper? 100 years from now do you think the headline on every newspaper will read "Makena wears diapers! Shock Story!"
No it won't. Because no one cares.
Putting things into that perspective helps me realize how insignificant this all is to worry about to the point that if people do see me in a diaper accidentally or suspect I just don't care. It's still slightly more stressful going out wearing a diaper than not but the fear doesn't control me.
You've already found your true self. Now is the time to conquer your insecurities.