Why do non diaper think wearing. Diaper is like a drug or beer?

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makena43

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Thank you for sticking up for me. I believe what I need to do is work on the acceptance of diapers.I readed things on acceptance of diapers and I am still confuse. I think you accept diapers is you believe its not wrong.you don't care if someone can tell. And you believe this is who I am. Do i have it correct?
 

pamperluvs

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Makena as somebody said in the closed thread this is deja vu all over. You post these same topics over and over and over. It is starting to get a little old. We now know for the fifth or maybe the hundredth time that you feel bad about wearing diapers, that you want to wear them to work, even though it has been suggested that it is a bad idea since this seems to make you nervous and you paranoid about being caught. Also I have come to question why would a therapist help you deal with your desire to wear something that makes you feel sexy around other people particularly girls. I have a master's degree in counseling, but do not have my license and what I know from my training is that I would say you are nuts and you want to push your kink on others. I will say this again you have a pattern with your posts. You ask for advice, You are given advice. You act like you are listening. You don't listen, and for some reason this cycle always ends with a post about you wearing diapers in said uncomfortable situation. Finally you post asking the same question again and the cycle begins again.
 
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makena43

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I realize that I am asaing the same questions. I am trying to get rid of that feeling that it is wrong to wear diaper in public. Which comes from what my family has taught me. I realize when I was out on the salesfloor that nobody was looking for a diaper butt or said some thing. The fear comes from what I learn from my parents. I have never asked my tharpist about how to be around people in a diaper. And I will never do so. I am not trying to push diapers on others. I keep it very discret as possible. I want it treated the same as underwear sample as that. And lastly my post is asking why do people think you can just gave up diapers. As if it was quitting smoking
 

pamperluvs

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I realize that I am asaing the same questions. I am trying to get rid of that feeling that it is wrong to wear diaper in public. Which comes from what my family has taught me. I realize when I was out on the salesfloor that nobody was looking for a diaper butt or said some thing. The fear comes from what I learn from my parents. I have never asked my tharpist about how to be around people in a diaper. And I will never do so. I am not trying to push diapers on others. I keep it very discret as possible. I want it treated the same as underwear sample as that. And lastly my post is asking why do people think you can just gave up diapers. As if it was quitting smoking

Why do you ask the same questions over and over and over. You got advice, it is time to stop asking the same questions over
 

makena43

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Because, I am not get clear facts.okay why don't. You go through all my threads since day one. That would be great . thank you pamperluvs
 

OmiOMy

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Dude, I've been following your threads since I got here and when I was lurking, and even I can tell you are repeating yourself, sometimes in three different threads at once. You are obsessed with getting caught like it's your thing or something, and you are obsessed with trying to tell women about it. Your entire life seems to revolve around diapers.

My advice to you is stop wearing at work. It's just making you paranoid and you have other issues around this to work out.

And please, start typing better. It is very hard to parse your posts. Run them through Grammarly or something.
 

SweetPrincess

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Makena, here is some advice I think could help.
From what I've read it gives me the impression you are very insecure about yourself and who you are. I believe your problem is not in fact people discovering that you wear diapers but in fact your own insecurity about who you are.
As people have said your questions are similar in origin and the root cause is always another thought that enters your mind relating to that fear of being exposed.

I started a thread earlier about being fearful of wearing AB diapers in public and I received a lot of good responses. Those responses made me think about who I was and the people around me when I wore. As they suggested most people don't care what you are wearing unless you run around with nothing but a diaper on (which I don't recommend).

I find it helpful to read back through them and reinforce what I should be thinking and it helps. I am learning to not care about what people think not just about diapers but everything. As Steve Jobs said and rings true to me everyday "don't be trapped by dogma which is living with the results of other people's thinking...you've got to find what you love. If you haven't found it yet, keeping looking. As with all matters of the heart you'll know when you find it".

What you'll find I am sure is that your insecurity is not just limited to diapers but many other things as well like the acceptance of your girlfriend. I should know because I had the same fears and asked for advice here. They all told me not to worry about it until it happens and that there is someone out there for me. I believe that quite fervently now. People with open minds and someone who loves you won't care about your quirks but love you for them and if they don't take it as a sign that they are not for you and move on.
Another note is that the thing more likely to turn away a girl is not that you wear diapers but your insecurities in your wearing. Someone who is needy and always looking for repetitive confirmation from others will destroy any relationship (girlfriend, friend, acquaintance: any kind of relationship).

I am not saying you'll never be fearful but by learning to love yourself and not care being exposed will trump the little insecurities and constant worrying that plagues you.
Always think of the worst possible outcome and you'll find it's not the worst at all. If your work mates ever found out they would be more confused than anything or perhaps even respectful towards you thinking you had a medical condition.
I like to compare myself to other situations that do happen more than you'd think. Which would be worse? Showing up to work drunk or high? Or wearing a diaper concealed respectfully under clothing? Which one would get you fired?
Now that being said I would recommend not wearing to work if it causes you that much stress. You need to be strong in who you are before doing things like that. How confident are you wearing to the shops or grocery store? Do you worry about strangers seeing the diaper? If so that is a sign you are not ready for diapers at work. Overcome that first before tackling the bigger challenges.

This is going to take a retraining of the mind and it's not going to be easy. It's taken me years to rewire myself from a person who lived his life according to how people expected me to live and how I live now. I could tell you loads of stories how I was literally shaking with fear of people finding out who I truly was only to find out that they accepted it and looking back I laugh now and can't believe how I ever could of been so worried. It baffles me.
Rejoice in who you are and know that this is what makes you special and not a clone. Realize that everyone has a dark secret (some even darker than ours). There is no such thing as normal, no one fits the stereotype of what society expects of people and no one cares more about your life more than their own. No one is going to pull down you pants and rip off your diaper, wave it in front of everyone laughing, as you might think. So stop allowing that level of fear to be attributed towards the real reaction of someone finding out that we all know is really just "oh...OK".

Retrain your mind, fix your insecurities and then break free.
 

makena43

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The getting caught issue is i don't want to be caught period. I have been wearing at work and I have figure out myself there is nothing wrong. Its me listening to my parents saying it wrong . that in a nutshell I have to work it out myself. I stop telling women about my diaper about a year ago. So in conclusion, like people said on adisc the more you wear the less scary it will be. Thank you sweet princesses

- - - Updated - - -

Sweet princesses this is the info I am looking for and all of it is so me. I got to get to work
 

PaddedDeist

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I pretty much plunged into wearing 24/7 due to my developing Urge IC and a rekindling of my love for diapers. Perhaps subconsciously I realized I was having a problem and that helped to bring the DL side of me back to the surface. So I am constantly padded and to be honest, it has not been an issue. Though people who know me know I have neurological problems and more.

I have not had any attention really that I am aware of and when I have to change, I simply have to change. I have done a lot of changes in bathroom stalls and at rest areas along the freeways. People generally don't care unless you make it an issue.

At work, you can plead medical need and they are simply not allowed to peek into your medical records--at least in the US. If a coworker finds out, claim medical need as well no detail needed since it is personal. If they continue to harass you then HR could step in and fire the people harassing you since they would not like to see a lawsuit from a person with a presumed disability over workplace harassment. You don't have to actually sue anyone but that UNSPOKEN threat will affect HR's actions and response. (Careful here--threatening specific actions involving courts and the like can actually make the situation more toxic and they will find a way to fire you.)

As for your parents, they are likely pretty set in their ways so don't expect to see much, if any, change--if they do change it will be a nice surprise that you can enjoy later.

As for finding women who don't mind that side? That's tougher still but not impossible. It would help if you could meet with more like-minded people. Sometimes gaming/sci-fi/literary/... conventions can be a great way to meet some of those people. I know I used to go to a convention regularly in Portland, Oregon and there was a lot of people in there who are members of different kink communities. I would not be surprised to find ABDL con-goers if I were to look carefully. Perhaps if there are any sort of munches near you could try going to one. With like-minded people you have a better chance of finding a potential understanding partner.

I have been 24/7 for a little under a year and it is pretty routine by now but I still get a certain tingle when I pick up a diaper and start to unfold it knowing it'll soon be wrapped around me.
 

MadDoctor

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The getting caught issue is i don't want to be caught period.

If not getting caught is what is most important to you, then absolutely do not wear at work, or anywhere else where you could be caught. Personally, I don't want my ABDL life to be mixed with my professional life at all; and because of that, I do not wear in public, and especially not to work. I think it is safe to say that if you wear to work long enough, someone *will* eventually find out. It's only a matter of time.
 

makena43

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I see your point madoctor. I choose the time to wear that is i know people that might tell on me so I don't wear. And of course when they are not around I do wear
 

makena43

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So how do I work on my insecureness and not caring about what others think. Do I appear needy if I look at girl every 5 minutes or less? I hope being insecure and not knowing who I am. Which I drew a blank . I know my likes. My work but how do I find my true self?
 

MadDoctor

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So how do I work on my insecureness and not caring about what others think. Do I appear needy if I look at girl every 5 minutes or less? I hope being insecure and not knowing who I am. Which I drew a blank . I know my likes. My work but how do I find my true self?

There's not really a good answer to that. I'm going to be frank though;your questions are constantly at odds with each other. You're asking how to stop caring what other people think and beat your insecurities, and then in the next sentence you want to know if you come off as needy. If you're constantly looking at a girl who's not interested in you, you look creepy, not needy. To work on your insecurities though, you need to stop trying to think about what everyone thinks of you. Instead, start thinking about how what you do impacts the people around you.

For example, let's look at wearing diapers to work. Instead of asking whether you can get in trouble for it, ask yourself what about it might make other people uncomfortable. If wearing them is sexual for you, then being in a constant state of arousal could very easily put off customers or your coworkers. Similarly, the smell that arises from using them could disgust the people around you. Neither of those things directly has to do with their opinions of you, but it's something to consider because your actions impact the people around you. If you start looking at your life through the scope of cause and effect, instead of other people's thoughts and opinions, your mental state will get better over time.
 

makena43

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I understand all of it. But what about the getting to known myself as sweetprincess said above?
 

SweetPrincess

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So how do I work on my insecureness and not caring about what others think. Do I appear needy if I look at girl every 5 minutes or less? I hope being insecure and not knowing who I am. Which I drew a blank . I know my likes. My work but how do I find my true self?

What do you mean by look at a girl every five minutes? Is that a girl you're interested in? Even so I would say that is an obsessive problem an not recommend it.

You work on your insecurities by doing. You have one life, your fear of being exposed is petty at best and insignificant at worst, people don't care, remember? You're 44 so I would think this would be even more of a motivation for you as a lot more time than me is already spent so now's the time to change it and save the rest of your life. Know that you can only spend time you'll never get it back and put that value at the forefront of your mind; this is critical in overcoming it.
Also know it's doubtful for the fear/insecurities to ever go away but instead of the fear controlling you, you now control it. Fear is an evolutionary response designed to keep us safe however in modern times it mostly gets in the way of everyone's goals and ambitions and ability to live life on their terms.

Whenever I didn't do what I wanted because of my fear of being caught (aka my insecurities) such as not buying adult nappies from a pharmacy I would mentally beat myself into motivation to the point I would get angry. Which in some cases I would turn the car right around and go to another nearby pharmacy walk in, buy what I wanted and walk out before I even realized what I'd done. The motivation that pushed me would always be this quote, again by Steve Jobs "your time is limited so don't waste it living someone else's life."

Again it's about placing an intrinsic value on time and upon doing so it'll push you do things you really want to do. Your insecurities stem from the consequences of it. But as I said no one really cares and a year from now you really think strangers in the stores will remember seeing you in a diaper? 100 years from now do you think the headline on every newspaper will read "Makena wears diapers! Shock Story!"
No it won't. Because no one cares.

Putting things into that perspective helps me realize how insignificant this all is to worry about to the point that if people do see me in a diaper accidentally or suspect I just don't care. It's still slightly more stressful going out wearing a diaper than not but the fear doesn't control me.

You've already found your true self. Now is the time to conquer your insecurities.
 

makena43

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What. I mean by the girl thing is. If looking at girls. Means you are needy or creepy and girls can pick. That up and not be interested in me.
So on the insecure I just need to face it and keep at it? And knowing self is done or learned?
 

SweetPrincess

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Still no clue what you mean. I look at girls all the time like every other human being does I don't goggle or stare at them though if that's what you mean. Being needy is not being able to stand up for yourself and say I am who I am but rather needing constant confirmation from others.

So on the insecure I just need to face it and keep at it? And knowing self is done or learned?

In a sense but don't boil it down to just that. Other people before me have said the exact same thing and if that's all you got out of it then you aren't listening or taking advantage of the abundance of advice given in all these responses.
You need to retrain your mind to accept who you are. You are a diaper lover learn to accept that part of yourself who you already know to be true and remove those insecurities. I've given you my method on dealing with them the rest is up to you. You need to find your own way of dealing with them whether that's using the same method as me or another.
Knowing yourself is done. You know who you are (DL) now learn to accept it.
 
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