Why do I have these feelings?

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My question to you is, no matter what you consider yourself to be, if you can remember, how did your feelings towards this first come to form or be? I have included my views, thoughts and why I think I came to be who I am today are. If you hate reading, which I do :) You may just continue on or post.


I have always been slightly different than others, at least what I have noticed. I am a dl. I have feelings of acting young, but like most say on this site, as an older toddler.
I picked up wearing diapers when I was 16 years old at a vacation I was on with my parents. There was a children's room in the over sized house we rented for the next few weeks on the beach. My first diaper was made by myself, to fit me. I remember packing them, and having my mother finding them the day we were packing because we were having trouble packing the car, so some items had to go. Very embarrassing, however I just made up a story how I was going to put them in someone's locker at school I didn't like.
I am now 21, and have experimented in many different ways. I will soon be writing a non-fictional story of myself.
Does anyone know of a website that has non-fictional, short stories of ones life in this field?
To get back on subject, a parents actions, if the parent is at all a DL, or anything similar, content wise to this website. Is it possible to, pass that down through other actions, behavior, raising of a child, to, his or her child. Also, to avoid the subject content of the below thread, my main question to anyone reading this is, if you would be so kind to reply:


How did your feelings towards this first form?


I found out recently, quite by accident, that my father was sleeping in a "oncie" type outfit... I do know, he knows nothing of my thinking on this subject. I am deeply in psychology and I am majoring in it. So i do realize, that some of a parents actions during the early stages of childhood, even such notions as "always enjoying childhood" can be past down in other ways. However, I always wonder, could it be genetic or past down in traits.


I am young I know, to understand my situation a little more, and because I am asking such a question like this, I will give a brief look into my past. The only person that was my friend was my father, I can remember only having a total of three friends in my school years of first grade all the way to the end of high school. Un-fortunately, these friendships never lasted. Therefore, I have an emptiness for my childhood. I was quiet, teased and hurt often in my school years. The only happiness I share from my past, is that of my fathers care which in my opinion really saved me from many different psychological issues in the future. Except this one, if you would call it that.

I have always found psychology fascinating, which is why I will make it my profession. The notion that almost all of a persons beliefs and personality is formed during childhood is very intriguing to me. Which is why I feel as though I must research it. The art of harming a child, either emotionally or physically, to me is not only morally wrong, but hurts past a point I cannot describe. Perhaps I have this feeling because of the way I was treated, negatively, from other children during my years of growing up.

My first choice was to go into the f.b.i. in a field to help stop, catch and prevent crimes against children. However, I think the best field for me, since I enjoy child psychology and forensics, is research. Research in the field where I can help learn and discover psychological growth of a child, and to help prevent negative thoughts in the future after the child has grown up. Because I am so apt on stopping another individual from hurting another human beings long term life, a main key to do this is during a persons childhood years... researching child psychology, and forensics to help stop crimes against children, seems to best help with what I am most interested in, and my goal in life.

So once again I ask, no matter what you consider yourself to be, if you can remember, how did these feelings first form?
 
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Pojo

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I will soon be writing a story and posting it to a website called deeker.com. If none of you are aware of this site I'd recommend it with flying colors.
I don't even know what to say to that. So many different things are flying around in my head to pick just one.

I found out recently, quite by accident, that my father was sleeping in a "ouncie" type outfit... I do know, he knows nothing. I am deeply in psychology and I am majoring in it. So i do realize, that some of a parents actions during the early stages of childhood, even such notions as "always enjoying childhood" can be past down in other ways. However, I always wonder, could it be genetic?

Any thoughts?

A onsie type outfit?
 
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There's another thread that explores this: "Nature vs Nurture"

I don't think it would be prudent to comment on your specific circumstances, as there are a plethora of factors that go into general behavior, and fetish/deviant behavior is more complex than this.

Re-skimming over the above, though, there is something that surprises me:
Forget it; I'm going to just plow in. If you're interested in psychology, yet fail to see the swath of human destruction that marks Deeker's site, this is a sad reflection on the teaching going on in the discipline. I gather that you are involved in psychology at the undergraduate level, but even in the introductory coursework there is (traditionally) a discussion or six about how our actions and experiments may have unintended and harmful consequences. Viz:
  • Stanley Milgram & his Obedience experiment.
  • The Asche line-length experiment.
  • Morton-Thiocol and Groupthink at NASA.
  • The Stanford Prison Experiment (Zimbardo) (more damaging than you'll discover in 101).
  • The Brown-Eyes, Blue-Eyes experiment.
  • Albert & the White Rabbit (yes, it's apocryphal, but you're not told this in 101).

So I would ask that you ask yourself this: Do I want to contribute to a site that puts emphasis upon the erectile state of young boys being willingly or unwillingly diapered?

Don't answer here, but ask yourself tonight when you look yourself in the mirror as you're brushing your teeth. Ask yourself again tomorrow morning when you get up.
 

Mesmerale

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I have always been slightly different than others, at least what I have noticed. I am a dl. I have feelings of acting young, but like most say on this site, as an older toddler.
I picked up wearing diapers when I was 16 years old at a vacation I was on with my parents. There was a children's room in the over sized house we rented for the next few weeks on the beach. My first diaper was made by myself, to fit me. I remember packing them, and having my mother finding them the day we were packing because we were having trouble packing the car, so some items had to go. Very embarrassing, however I just made up a story how I was going to put them in someone's locker at school I didn't like.
I am now 21, and have experimented in many different ways. I will soon be writing a non-fictional story of myself.

. . .

To get back on subject, reading the post thread that was below mine, is very similar to mine. So to not be entirely similar to that thread, I'd rather change the theme of this thread to: On a parents actions, if the parent is at all a DL, or anything similar, content wise to this website. Is it possible to, pass that down through other actions, behavior, raising of a child, to, his or her child.
I found out recently, quite by accident, that my father was sleeping in a "ouncie" type outfit... I do know, he knows nothing. I am deeply in psychology and I am majoring in it. So i do realize, that some of a parents actions during the early stages of childhood, even such notions as "always enjoying childhood" can be past down in other ways. However, I always wonder, could it be genetic?

Any thoughts?


I've brought this up before in a thread long since dead (I think it will call for auto-closing in a few days or weeks.) and my view as stated there, and as it is currently is that fetishes in general, more specifically that of *BDLSism is a bit of both. It is not entirely genetic. You aren't born a *B/DL. But I believe that there are certain genetic traits, certain protein combinations that will make a person more naturally tuned toward a specific fetish or line of fetishes or what have you.

Meaning that we aren't born with what we like / what we are. But we are born with a tendency to enjoy these things more easily than other people.
 
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New to this site, of course, :) Reading the below posts, and have found such a similar question.

Once I get this off of my chest, I'll surely reply to the rest of your post:

Being 21, I'm sure you're aware of the sites out there, and about hidden intent. If you're simply ignorant of what deeker is all about, there are plenty of people here who can tell you right now that this site is to be avoided for various reasons, and you would do well to erase it from your browser's memory, cache, and everything else that you can think of.

If you are well aware of what deeker features, there are still plenty of people to reinforce the pre-stated warning, and I suggest that you seriously reconsider your values and how you want to be influenced by the people that you spend time with / the sites that you spend time on.

You are absolutely correct. There is much to his site that I do not, by all means agree with, and some of it just disgusts me. I should have searched this site further, to find I can post my own blogs, which I will do. Deeker, is just the only site I have found where you can post stories, rather fact or fictional. Which is, all I intended to do.
 
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You are absolutely correct. There is much to his site that I do not, by all means agree with, and some of it just disgusts me. I should have searched this site further, to find I can post my own blogs, which I will do. Deeker, is just the only site I have found where you can post stories, rather fact or fictional. Which is, all I intended to do.
I know we're all posting simultaneously here, but I would again encourage you to take a long look at my earlier post and at yourself and ask,

Do I want to write a story that a site revolving around underage boys' erections would publish and enjoy?

Again, something for you to consider as you look yourself in the mirror. After all, I don't have to live with you. I just hope that your story, if accepted, does not have any consequences, in whole or part, for a child.

I'm going to restate this a bit more strongly: in your profile, you put
Forensic and Child Psychological Research
under occupation. What you are wanting to engage in (if only by proxy) is grooming behavior.
 
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Mesmerale

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If any of you are wondering, yes being 21, I am in my undergraduate, 4th year in college for psychology. I would just enjoy a direct opinion from people on this site, rather than a scientific approach, which I am so accustomed to.
 

Mesmerale

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If any of you are wondering, yes being 21, I am in my undergraduate, 4th year in college for psychology. I would just enjoy a direct opinion from people on this site, rather than a scientific approach, which I am so accustomed to.
Sure.

In your case, there's obviously more going on than merely genetics.
 
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By all means h3g3l, I totally 100% agree with you. I have edited my above question. This is the first time of me really looking for, or signing up for a site like this. All my research in this field is purely scientific, not talking one on one with people who have the same thoughts. Like I said, I am going into psychology, so I enjoy reading stories short or small on ones lives, almost like a one on one interview to better understand why they feel the way they do. deeker is the only website thus far I have found that actually have people that write, non-fictional stories about themselves, of course I avoid the other posts and stories that have nothing to do with what I am truly seeking. What causes all of these feelings to re live childhood.

I am young I know, to understand my situation a little more, I will give a brief look into my past. The only person that was my friend was my father, I can remember only having a total of three friends in my school years of first grade all the way to the end of high school. Un-fortunately, these friendships never lasted. Therefore, I have an emptiness for my childhood. I was quiet, teased and hurt often in my school years. The only happiness I share from my past, is that of my fathers care which in my opinion really saved me from many different psychological issues in the future. Except this one, if you would call it that.

I have always found psychology fascinating, which is why I will make it my profession. The notion that almost all of a persons beliefs and personality is formed during childhood is very intriguing to me. Which is why I feel as though I must research it. The art of harming a child, either emotionally or physically, to me is not only morally wrong, but hurts past a point I cannot describe. Perhaps I have this feeling because of the way I was treated, negatively, from other children during my years of growing up.

My first choice was to go into the f.b.i. in a field to help stop, catch and prevent crimes against children. However, I think the best field for me, since I enjoy child psychology and forensics, is research. Research in the field where I can help learn and discover psychological growth of a child, and to help prevent negative thoughts in the future after the child has grown up. Because I am so apt on stopping another individual from hurting another human beings long term life, a main key to do this is during a persons childhood years... researching child psychology, and forensics to help stop crimes against children, seems to best help with what I am most interested in, and my goal in life.
 
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Mesmerale

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I am young I know, to understand my situation a little more, I will give a brief look into my past. The only person that was my friend was my father, I can remember only having a total of three friends in my school years of first grade all the way to the end of high school. Un-fortunately, these friendships never lasted. Therefore, I have an emptiness for my childhood. I was quiet, teased and hurt often in my school years. The only happiness I share from my past, is that of my fathers care which in my opinion really saved me from many different psychological issues in the future. Except this one, if you would call it that.

I have always found psychology fascinating, which is why I will make it my profession. The notion that almost all of a persons beliefs and personality is formed during childhood is very intriguing to me. Which is why I feel as though I must research it. The art of harming a child, either emotionally or physically, to me is not only morally wrong, but hurts past a point I cannot describe. Perhaps I have this feeling because of the way I was treated, negatively, from other children during my years of growing up.

My first choice was to go into the f.b.i. in a field to help stop, catch and prevent crimes against children. However, I think the best field for me, since I enjoy child psychology and forensics, is research. Research in the field where I can help learn and discover psychological growth of a child, and to help prevent negative thoughts in the future after the child has grown up. Because I am so apt on stopping another individual from hurting another human beings long term life, a main key to do this is during a persons childhood years... researching child psychology, and forensics to help stop crimes against children, seems to best help with what I am most interested in, and my goal in life.
I'm not saying that you're childhood and motivation is irrelevant, nor am I saying that it is useless.

But if you want to keep this thread going, you need to give something to respond to.

If you made the thread in order to discuss whether this entire lifestyle is genetic or not, then spur on that discussion with some new material, or any relevant material at all.

Tie everything that you've just said up into a nice, neat question or comment that we can respond to / discuss.

What you've said just now is more suited for your greeting/introduction.
 
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to Mesmerale, since I can't post private messages yet, this site is new to me, just getting the hang of it, starting to understand how to edit on this site. thank you :) I think I'll stick around on it for a while. Main reason I am here, besides all the technical research I have collected, I haven't been able to get other peoples opinions and contact people direct on the subject matter. I'm writing a thesis on the subject and thought a website like this could help with that and unsolved questions I have. Any other tips you or anyone might have I'd love to hear, and thanks in advance.
 

Mesmerale

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to Mesmerale, since I can't post private messages yet, this site is new to me, just getting the hang of it, starting to understand how to edit on this site. thank you :) I think I'll stick around on it for a while. Main reason I am here, besides all the technical research I have collected, I haven't been able to get other peoples opinions and contact people direct on the subject matter. I'm writing a thesis on the subject and thought a website like this could help with that and unsolved questions I have. Any other tips you or anyone might have I'd love to hear, and thanks in advance.
Let's do this another, more productive, way that could spur discussion...

You say that you're writing a thesis. What are your hypotheses and what kind of instrument are you using? By "thesis" do you instead mean "capstone" or "senior project"?
 
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Let's do this another, more productive, way that could spur discussion...

You say that you're writing a thesis. What are your hypotheses and what kind of instrument are you using? By "thesis" do you instead mean "capstone" or "senior project"?
Yes, a senior project. I am on my way to grad school. I have been writing a paper on infantilism concerning teens and adults. I am using many tools provided to me by the university I am attending such as research articles, internet, books etc. My main focus or theme surrounding this has to do with child psychological research due to thoughts of this nature tend to form at a young age. The one tool I lack, is one on one discussions with people that have these feelings, as I do.
 

dprdinky

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Ok, as you can tell everyone on this site detest Deeker's. I have another place you can post your story. It's actually a story way far and above what Deeker's has to offer and even member authors will critique your story as well (They do it quite well here too).

abdlstoryforum.myfastforum.org :: Index

This site pretty much is centered on offering young (all) writers a place to submit specific subject stories, although you may find other non-ab type of stories too.


One person has done extensive survey work on AB/DL topic and you might be interesting at getting his results and perspective.

Understanding Infantilism

The most recent survey results ended and posted in 2008.
 

dogboy

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I was going to suggest Bittergray as well. He's our resident Guru on the subject. There seems to be a combination of nurture and nature. I lean toward nurture, since diaper wearing is a product of society and its customs. Some on this site have said that they enjoy diapers because it re-creates a time when they were happy, before they went to school and were bullied. Others have said that they enjoy diapers because it gives them a sense of peace now. Others say that potty training was traumatic and unsuccessful, and so being traumatized, they must repeat and replicate the anguish and shame of that event, again and again. I think you have to ask yourself, which one is you, if any.
 
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Falkio

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Just some interesting information:

There was an article in Knowledge Magazine titled "The Real Thought Police" that diagrammed the source of certain emotions. Each part was responsible for different levels of thought. For example, lustful desires are believed to come from the same source as the urge to eat and drink. If anyone is interested in exploring this further, here is the issue: Read

By using an fMRI and a contrast agent, scientists can see brain activity during spurts of thought. Racism, political preference, and sexual lust can be traced to certain parts of the brain. I believe that DL tendencies emanate from the central part known as the Singulate Sulcus. Fetishes, and other "lustful" desires, come from this part.

What about a gene? Could that replace the normal sexual preference? Or is this something we are conditioned to? (That is the question!) My aim in saying all this is not so much to answer what causes it, but where it comes from. Akin to the first part, I noticed that I liked diapers at a young age - probably around 7. I remember watching the show "Fantastic Max" and wishing I could wear. There was also a skit on a show about a family of dinosaurs called the "Sinclairs" that got my attention. When I was about 10, I asked my grandmother for Goodnites. She thought it was a harmless phase, and I doubt she even remembers it.

Only recently have I taken the next step and purchased over the Internet. ADISC entered the scene shortly after. Today, I am less shy about it. That is me in a nutshell. : )
 
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