I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't feel my best, secure and happy when I was wearing my cloth diapers and rubber pants. They've been part of my life for as long as I can remember. Once I stopped wetting my bed and no longer had an excuse to wear diapers, my anxiety level increased, I started thinking and dreaming about diapers more and more, couldn't keep the thought of my mother pinning my diapers on before bedtime out of my mind even when I left home for college. The desire to wear diapers and rubber pants, go potty in my diapers whenever I wanted and have my mommy there to take care of me, change my diapers, and hug and kiss me when I needed to be loved has remained with me all my life. Try as I might, I was never able to stay away from diapers for long, always returned to my childish desires to have diapers and rubber pants on and wet myself at home, in bed, or out and about around other people. But one thing was missing, I needed a mommy to take care of me, to change my diapers when they were wet or messy, to hug and squeeze me and assure me how much I am loved.