Why Can't We Get A 'Normal' Person To Represent ABDL's On TV?

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Slut

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Really, why would you want anyone at all to represent that? No matter what, it would look bad, and one person can't accurately represent a whole like this.

Even if the person representing didn't show any of their possessions, just wore a t-shirt and jeans and talked nonchalantly about when he/she does, oh man, they would make that person out to be weird.
 

Mingus

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Here's a question: Why are so many people insistent upon pretending we're "normal" and having only "normal" people represent us?

Newsflash, people: We're adults that like to dress like babies and soil diapers! This is not "normal" behavior!

Rather than trying to paint over it or pretend that such is not the case, we need to acknowledge and accept and embrace it. We're not hurting anyone with our behavior, so if it works for us, then what the hell eh, and if someone else has a problem with it, then fuck 'em. We should not be judging our self-worth based on what a bunch of random nobodies that we will never meet and about whom we don't give two shits about think of us. If we're meeting our obligations and we're happy and we're not hurting anyone else, then what others think of us is, frankly, irrelevant.

Further, I bristle at the implication an inquiry of the OP's nature presents. By asking for "normal" people to represent us, the OP is effectively saying that only some ABDLs are good enough, and the implication that the rest of us therefore are not good enough and should just go fuck ourselves necessarily comes along for the ride.

Let me be plain. I do not accept the proposition that any one of us is any better than any other of us, nor do I accept the proposition that some of us need to be sequestered from view because we don't meet someone's arbitrary standard for what is sufficiently "normal" or fit for public consumption.

I see the same idea as is contained in the OP in the gay community as well. There are some out there that wish the drag queens and the leather daddies and the bears and the dancing twinks in speedos and the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and everyone else that's not an upper-middle class suit-and-tie-wearing 30-something clean-cut suburban gay man that wants to have a kid would just go the hell away, that they don't "represent" gay people and that they're just freaks that make us all look like freaks and they're hurting our cause.

I say NO! If we're not all equal, then none of us are, and I refuse to throw some overboard and tell them they're not good enough just to make the suit-and-tie conformists and the less-adventurous and the self-doubters and the self-loathing feel slightly better about themselves. Not only are we good enough, we're every bit as good as the "normal" types are! Rather than trying to homogenize everyone and force them to conform to some arbitrary standard of "normal," why don't we instead work toward increasing acceptance for everyone and let people be who they want to be?

I think this conversation is proceeding from the somewhat silly notion that anyone can represent a community. Of course no individual can. Riley doesn't speak for all ABs any more than Jesse Jackson is a proxy for the black community. We're a more diverse bunch than that. I don't care if other people want to out themselves on TV. I wish people were more accepting.

That said, I'm not willing to be the standard bearer for acceptance by treating other people's attitudes as irrelevant. The fact that I'm a DL/AB is irrelevant in virtually every social circle--just as someone else's clown fetish is irrelevant to me. I wouldn't treat someone differently for an unusual fetish. That said, plenty of people would. I might not want to be close friends with them--though there's a lot of good people I might rule out. But whether I'd be friends with closed-minded people or not, I have to work and do business with them. I'm even related to some. I'm simply not willing to sacrifice parts of my family, and my career, on the altar of garnering acceptance for an interest which is fundamentally private.

I'm sufficiently conservative (note small 'c': I'm politically left-wing, before I start a flame war) to think it's private. It's not the same as being gay. A gay person in a homophobic society can't openly show affection for her partner in the way a straight person could, or will be denied hospital visits or marriage. But what are the social consequences for us? No one need know we like to wear nappies at home, alone or with a partner. I'm not bothered about the coverage AB/DL gets in the media; the people who appear don't represent or speak for me. I don't expect everyone to be an upper-middle class, suited conformist--but since I kind of *am*, I don't see why I should act differently. It's not about self-loathing or self-doubt or a lack of adventurism--but my circumstances and mindset mean I don't feel the need to be public about this aspect of my life.
 

CrosseyedAndPainless

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I don't agree with her representing the community. no one should. Not many people like to delve deeper into anything other than a first impression.
 

philder74

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Freaky person goes on TV to justify an interest considered freaky by the mainstream > viewers think they're a freak
Normal person goes on TV to justify an interest considered freaky by the mainstream > viewers search for their fetish on the interest > most popular hits are the freaks

It's lose:lose

I have a decent career and all the other "grown up" stuff that goes with it - property, car and suchlike. Would I go on national (tabloid) TV and justify why I wear diapers? Um, no. What good could possibly come from that?
 

GoldDragonAurkarm

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I think this conversation is proceeding from the somewhat silly notion that anyone can represent a community. Of course no individual can. Riley doesn't speak for all ABs any more than Jesse Jackson is a proxy for the black community. We're a more diverse bunch than that. I don't care if other people want to out themselves on TV. I wish people were more accepting.

That said, I'm not willing to be the standard bearer for acceptance by treating other people's attitudes as irrelevant. The fact that I'm a DL/AB is irrelevant in virtually every social circle--just as someone else's clown fetish is irrelevant to me. I wouldn't treat someone differently for an unusual fetish. That said, plenty of people would. I might not want to be close friends with them--though there's a lot of good people I might rule out. But whether I'd be friends with closed-minded people or not, I have to work and do business with them. I'm even related to some. I'm simply not willing to sacrifice parts of my family, and my career, on the altar of garnering acceptance for an interest which is fundamentally private.

I'm sufficiently conservative (note small 'c': I'm politically left-wing, before I start a flame war) to think it's private. It's not the same as being gay. A gay person in a homophobic society can't openly show affection for her partner in the way a straight person could, or will be denied hospital visits or marriage. But what are the social consequences for us? No one need know we like to wear nappies at home, alone or with a partner. I'm not bothered about the coverage AB/DL gets in the media; the people who appear don't represent or speak for me. I don't expect everyone to be an upper-middle class, suited conformist--but since I kind of *am*, I don't see why I should act differently. It's not about self-loathing or self-doubt or a lack of adventurism--but my circumstances and mindset mean I don't feel the need to be public about this aspect of my life.
Here's the trick, though: I'm not asking you to behave any differently. What I am saying, though, is that if someone is not hurting anyone else, then we shouldn't be asking them to behave differently, either. The trouble is that, in my view, that's exactly what the OP and several other posters were seeking-those that don't fit some arbitrary pre-conceived notion of "normal" to stay away from anything remotely resembling the public or publicity.

Like I said, if you don't want to tell anyone, then don't tell anyone. You want to be private about it? Be private about it. Don't stop those of us that want to make different choices from making them. My telling most of my friends and being willing to talk about being an ABDL has no bearing on your life, so (royal you here) don't make me out to be some kind of a monster because I just got back from a walk around my neighborhood during which I was padded and wearing a Stewie onesie.
 

ZakRoo

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haven't read the thread at all, but i thought i'd chime in on the topic: it's not that we can't get a "normal" person on tv, it's that the tv shows that would want to feature ab/dl's aren't looking for your average person. it's entertainment, and when you're talking entertainment, you want the abstract, the odd, the fetishes.

that's my take on it, anyway.
 

dogboy

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Well, I've decided that I'm the one and only "normal" person to go on one of these shows to represent all of us. As a side note, I'm dressing as a giant duck wearing a diaper. Every time I'm asked a question, I'm just going to quack.

Moderator: "Uh...did you speak to our director about this. I mean, I thought you were going to dress up like a big adult baby as per the contract."

Me: "Quack, quack."

Moderator: "Yeah, real cute. Don't think you're getting paid."

Me: "What the Quack!?"

Moderator: "You heard me. Either get out of that silly costume and act like a foolish adult baby that everyone can make fun off, or get off my stage."

Me: " Quack You!"

Moderator: "We'll be back after a quick intermission. When we return, we'll be talking to a man who thinks he's a pony."
 

CracklinPants

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"Normal diaper lover..." hahahahaha. If you need one, then I am your man. I hold a steady job, have no criminal record, have "normal" relationships. Still, how much you wanna bet the media would edit & chop me into destruction if I were stupid enough to appear on one of these biased shows?
 

CheckeredDots

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"Normal" people wont bring viewers, and without viewers, the companies and channels wont get any money. Simple!

Money means everything to TV channels today, and frankly, if I want to watch a TV show, I don't want to watch some normal guy doing normal things, like eating food. I want to hear about some mentally retarded guy who gets sexually aroused by sniffing food, so I can laugh at the guy for being so weird, while choking on my cereal. Because that's what sells, or at least that's what I think. :detective3
 

pajamakitten

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Like I said, if you don't want to tell anyone, then don't tell anyone. You want to be private about it? Be private about it. Don't stop those of us that want to make different choices from making them. My telling most of my friends and being willing to talk about being an ABDL has no bearing on your life, so (royal you here) don't make me out to be some kind of a monster because I just got back from a walk around my neighborhood during which I was padded and wearing a Stewie onesie.

That doesn't always work though, the issue is about how we're perceived by the public and now lets say that my parents watched that Stanley show and believed that he is a normal AB/DL or at least what a normal AB/DL would like to be. Now say I get careless and one of them finds a diaper, now they already have an idea of what an AB/DL is and now there is a chance that they'll associate him with me and think that I'm going to end up like that. I can explain and explain to them how that isn't the case but I'd bet that no amount of explaining could remove the association between me and the AB/DL they saw on TV because that is how certain people are, they'll stereotype us based on their experience with a few individuals.

Remember that a lot of us are still young and have yet to tell anyone, I don't want to be seen as a freak because a girlfriend I tell has seen an AB/DL on TV and thinks that I'm like that.
 

GoldDragonAurkarm

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That doesn't always work though, the issue is about how we're perceived by the public and now lets say that my parents watched that Stanley show and believed that he is a normal AB/DL or at least what a normal AB/DL would like to be. Now say I get careless and one of them finds a diaper, now they already have an idea of what an AB/DL is and now there is a chance that they'll associate him with me and think that I'm going to end up like that. I can explain and explain to them how that isn't the case but I'd bet that no amount of explaining could remove the association between me and the AB/DL they saw on TV because that is how certain people are, they'll stereotype us based on their experience with a few individuals.

Remember that a lot of us are still young and have yet to tell anyone, I don't want to be seen as a freak because a girlfriend I tell has seen an AB/DL on TV and thinks that I'm like that.
And here's where we loop back around to my opening remarks that were in bold font: You ARE a freak. I'm a freak. We're all freaks. It's better to accept it and deal with the ramifications of that than to pretend that such is not the case.

And you just did the exact thing that I was on about. You basically advocated for sequestering those that don't conform to your particular version of "normal" from public view because we're somehow not good enough. "But I'm not a freak, I'm a normal guy that goes to (work/school) and pays my bills and my taxes, I just like to wear diapers sometimes. It's those other people that [are the freaks (insert sugar-coated version of take being an ABDL to a further or different degree than I do here)]."

No, you're a freak too, just a different flavor. I mean, I worked for a Fortune 500 company for eight years and now I'm a grad student. I go to school, I pay my bills, I pay my taxes. I'm a homeowner (own a house free-and-clear with no mortgage at 30 years old). I've been in a relationship for nearly four years. And I am a freak. As I put it earlier, I enjoy acting like a baby and soiling diapers. This is freakish behavior by the standards of society. I'm not going to sit here and parse language and pretend that I'm somehow not a freak or that somehow society at large will judge me to be normal because I'm "less freaky" than Stanley Thorton.

It's like the point I made about the suit-and-tie conformist gays earlier. Just because you dress nicely and live together in a nice house and want a kid doesn't mean you're in any way better than the leather daddies or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, nor are you any less gay. You're still gay, and you're still only part of 2-10 percent of the population. Greater society will not suddenly be convinced that you're straight or "just like them." The strides we've made in gay rights have been based on society being exposed to gay people and coming to understand and accept that some people are gay and that we don't have a mental disorder, aren't wanting to recruit kids, and aren't filled with corrosive acid.

To address your bit about trying to find a mate, honestly, if you can't sell yourself on your terms, then it's not the fault of Stanley Thorton or the person that went for a walk in a Stewie onesie. If someone you've been seeing and conversing with suddenly thinks that you're wanting to live full-time as an overweight adult baby while drawing Social Security Disability, I would have to question exactly how you were presenting yourself as a person. More importantly, though, I would have to question the value of having someone that had presumably gotten to know you at least a little bit but then suddenly thought you were going to become Stanley Thorton in your life or as your mate. If someone learns that you're an ABDL and immediately draws that conclusion, if they're willing to completely discard everything they know about you in favor of that stereotype, then they obviously don't give half a shit about you in reality. I see no value in keeping such toxic people in my life. I'm willing to accept people as they are, not as an idealized image of what I want them to be. I demand the same in return, and if I don't get that I move on.
 

Foley

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Because none of them are stupid enough to go on television in a diaper.
 

dypers4life

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My personal opinion is... There never will be a "normal" person from this community be able to represent us... You better be pretty darn sure that dr. Phil looked into this fetish and saw the differen levels of how serious we take our fetish and the media will want to show the most extreme case to get the most views out of it as possible where as a person who wears diapers casually just home once a week for the fun of it won't attract as much attention as a AB/DL would that has a full blown crib, goes to work in diapers, has a girlfriend to care for him and all of the other extremes..... Just my 2 cents
 

Mysterious

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Some of my following comments may have already been discussed but...

Honestly no network has anything to gain by putting a good image of an AB or DL on TV, one of the first simple issues. Portraying this community as not totally out there puts them at risk of seeming too strange to many people, which isn't good for ratings. As much as ABs going on TV would harm their credibility, so would doing anything but gawking them on TV, at least financially.

Secondly, as I know has been stated, people going onto the show would basically have everything to lose, as shown my other beforehand. Some have lost their jobs and just severely damaged their options in life. Seems like far too much to lose with basically nothing to gain.

Thirdly, it would take a big shift in how general society views us to even have the most normal appearing person to be received decently. There are many things considered taboo, and this seems to be one for a fairly clear reason. We as humans are expected to grow up and let go of childhood ideas and the sort. Until this manages to change the perfect "representative" for us would still be scorn and thrown back.

Fourth, it would take something beyond the TV for it even have more than an instantly fading effect. Things are made infamous then forgotten so quickly today that even if there was someone decently painted, chances are within a month all would forgotten, or it would hit such a small niche audience that it would fall by the wayside.

Finally, for basically any lasting effect, it would take a lot more than one person, it'd take quite a few people to even have any slight positive effect. It seems like unless suddenly ABs everywhere came out and embraced the idea to the public and forced it into the limelight would be the only way to get any sort of real response that might last, even then who knows what would happen. This I can't imagine many going along with due to how people previously responded.

I'm sure there's more reasons beyond these, just shows how much is stacked against this being any sort of good idea.
 

pamperlover

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i think "normal" people might just consider a private matter and be reluctant to be public. riley does a good representing. Doesnt make a mockery of people wearing diapers. tries to make it seem normal as possible. The hosts of the show tend to make it look worse than it is because it doesnt go with society says. Its the whole mantra of if you do something different than society your just weird and thats just not fair at all.
 

Eulogy

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Summary Thus Far:

Normality is relative, and the more conservative members of our community wouldn't risk their social lives to be demonized on Television.
 

BigC300

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Why would Dr. Phil or Jerry Springer want to have regular average normal people on their show? They want something perceived as outrageous by the majority of their viewers. So, keeping this in mind, our members who manage to get on the air should demonstrate to the viewing public that people who like to wear diapers are really that different from people who like to wear shoes!
 

Binky

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I agree with you guys. I totally understand why "normal" ABDLs won't come out publicly. I know I wouldn't, I have to much to loose. My ABDL side is very private to me. But, I do wish there was a "normal" ABDL that would come out.

See I am actually just the perfect person to do the job but I won't do it. Most people I know have some idea of my ABDL so I would not have a ton to loose. But I do not really feel that I would do that.
 
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ElectricGuitar

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The reason why i think that there haven't been any "normal" AB's on TV is that (like dogboy already referred) media want's us to be like freaks, it sell's well.

It's kinda like what happened with Michael Jackson, no matter how hard he tried to explain Vitilgo, the interview's were edited so that he sounded like freak. Why ? because that sold well.

Of course Jackson situation was much bigger.
 
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