Why be scared?

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pilchers

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So, youre out buying nappies or walking along with a huge nappy bulge... You see someone... they see you... they look at your nappies and its obvious they now *KNOW* you are a nappy wearer...

What do we think happens next? Seriously, Id like to hear from people what they think would actually happen next. Maybe someone has been in this exact situation and could share with us what happened.

Lets keep it to reality though, please... :)
 

Shyjohnny

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The fear is if it is someone you know. If say a family friend sees it and instead of confronting you about it they call your mother or father and ask if you are alright. Suddenly the cat is out of the bag and your family/friends either all think you are incontinent or have a weird fetish. The real fear is if they then mistakenly assume it is pedophelia and call the police. Suddenly you are trying to explain your fetish to two people whose job it is to be suspicious.
 

Waldo

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it's not so much the fear of a stranger finding out, but it's a fear of giving away something so private so easily. Also, like @Note said above there's that chance it's not a stranger it's somebody you know & that's not the way you want them to find out. Back to the stranger though, for a lot of ABDL's, or at least for me, diapers are a very private thing & I would rather go skydiving(and I have a phobia of heights) then let anybody find out without me telling them, even if it were a stranger.

Also, just because it's a stranger now doesn't mean you won't ever see the person again. He might go to your school, work etc. There's always that underlining fear that that stranger could find a bigger role in your life.
 
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nites

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it's not so much the fear of a stranger finding out, but it's a fear of giving away something so private so easily. Also, like @Note said above there's that chance it's not a stranger it's somebody you know & that's not the way you want them to find out. Back to the stranger though, for a lot of ABDL's, or at least for me, diapers are a very private thing for me & I would rather skydiving(and I have a phobia of heights) then let anybody find out without me telling them, even if it were a stranger.

Also, just because it's a stranger now doesn't mean you won't ever see the per

I completely agree! I used to buy diapers at the grocery store when I was younger and that was my only option. I always dreaded getting the look from the cashier, and so what I started doing was buying a package while getting all the other groceries. So it was just one item in the whole array of the groceries and so it made it a lot less noticeable. Now, I only order online and have them delivered to my house. I still dread my mother seeing the package (she usually gets home before me and sees the packages waiting at the door). Although I don't really care to much anymore just because she knows I like diapers now and she never asks about the packages (which I like).

Oh, and I will never go skydiving!!! I also have a terrible phobia of heights. I think I would rather people know I wear diapers then have to jump out of a plane :no:
 

ClandestineWing

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The fear is if it is someone you know. If say a family friend sees it and instead of confronting you about it they call your mother or father and ask if you are alright. Suddenly the cat is out of the bag and your family/friends either all think you are incontinent or have a weird fetish. The real fear is if they then mistakenly assume it is pedophilia and call the police. Suddenly you are trying to explain your fetish to two people whose job it is to be suspicious.

Let me just echo this.
 

Paxe

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It depends what you can get away with, by comparison to your normal lifestyle. I've no issue with people knowing, although I try not to embarrass them so I keep things under wraps without being paranoid about it. Anyone who knows me, also knows that I do some pretty extreme stuff both for work and hobby. In emergency I can totally get away with 'Yeah, I wear diapers when I'm manning satellite intercepts' because they know I sometimes do stuff with satellites. Or 'Yeah, testing dive gear again' or whatever depending on what they are likely not to know about. I think the whole idea that people would take action against you without first engaging you, simply on account of bulgy pants, is overblown. I just can't see it happening. And as for buying diapers, what's the point of stores putting them on the shelves if people aren't going to buy them? There's no age limit on that AFAIK!
 
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Lozza1979

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Can you actually get busted by having a nappy bulge?.I have started wearing 24/7 more or less and am wearing tena slip maxi which are quite padded.When I went to town yesterday I wore tracksuit bottoms over them with a low hanging t-shirt.When walking past a shop window I saw in the reflection that I did have a slight bulge under my trakkies.I banged into an old work college and started talking.He was with his girlfriend and I was paranoid they would see the bulge under my trakkies and wonder what was going on.Nobody seemed to look in that area, or mention anything so I think nobody noticed. Would that be enough to give me away?.Surely people aren't even thinking about what you're wearing under your trousers, so why should they even consider it?.Even if they did see a bulge it could be anything.
 

ajameson

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I had a situation once, when my younger sister grew up to the non-diaper age, and I went to rather big supermarket to buy a new pack of diapers for myself. After I paid and proceeded to take my bag from cell, I run against my parents' close friends, who of course have known me and my family very well! They almost have noticed me, I was gripped with such fear, that I stopped feeling my legs at that moment. Yeah, I was a little younger at that time, and more nervous about all this stuff. I stopped behind them and walked away back, did one circle around little markets inside, watching them to go away. Only after that I went to take my backpack and hide the pack of diapers in it. The moment when you realize, that you couldn't explain this dire situation to someone who knows you much, scare bricks out of me. After that I always trying to think up lies to every sort of situation I can get into, but considering I may also have to improvise. Now I have no such a big fear, it's more about getting pleasure from the process. But despite that, I always think about secrecy.
 

Knom

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I try to live by Jason Ellis' rule of thumb...
Harden the F**K up and OWN it!

Let's say someone comes up to you and they say "Are you wearing a diaper?" - First of all, that takes some balls on their end. I don't know how many times I have seen people with what looks like a padded rear, but I'm not going to ask them if they are wearing... that's like asking a woman how "far along" she is when you're not sure if she's pregnant. It's just rude and typically you don't do that. Same with "they know my family" yeah, because people love to run and ask your family about personal problems about your life.
People only act weird about stuff if you act weird. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. If you ask someone if they were wearing a diaper and they start acting all weird and try to lie about something, stumble or run away. Then your going to see how weird they are and feel awkward, want to ask questions or get others involved. Whereas if they just harden up and own it and say "yes" and look like they don't give a sh*t, then what more is there to ask?
Scenario here would be if you saw someone trying to unlock a car with a hanger and the alarm is going off but they just stand there and keep at it.. you thinking robber? Or someone who's pissed they locked their keys in the car? Now if the alarm is going off and they start looking around and acting funny - you're calling the cops.

This "stigma" isn't going to get better if WE act all messed up about it! If anyone in the world should have a "so what" and don't give a ---- attitude about diapers and wearing it should be us.
When you try to act all secret, and look guilty of something then people assume you are doing something wrong. They don't think "they're not hurting anyone" they think "what is this loonie-bin doing and what are they trying to hide??"

OWN IT.
 
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CrinklySiren

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Lol forgive me for being crass, but all these "possible scenarios" being presented sound highly unlikely and naive lol. Unless you're still in grade school, a decent adult; or rather a decent human being would never react the way a lot of people are assuming, regardless of whether or not you know them.

Personally I agree with Knom all the way, we gotta stop acting scared and awkward because it only contributes to making us seem weird. If people make a big deal about it or have some kind of disdain for something so stupid, it's their failure not yours, so why limit yourself for the stupidity or immaturity of others... You don't have to explain anything to anyone nor do you owe anyone an explanation for the things you do or wear...

And in terms of friends or family friends finding out, unless you explain in detail that you are an adult baby, there is no possible way anyone can relate an ADULT wearing ADULT diapers to pedophilia.... If you are a DL with no AB tendencies, than the fear of pedophilia mislabeling shouldn't even be on your mind lol
 

ShAd0w10

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I try to live by Jason Ellis' rule of thumb...

Let's say someone comes up to you and they say "Are you wearing a diaper?" - First of all, that takes some balls on their end. I don't know how many times I have seen people with what looks like a padded rear, but I'm not going to ask them if they are wearing... that's like asking a woman how "far along" she is when you're not sure if she's pregnant. It's just rude and typically you don't do that. Same with "they know my family" yeah, because people love to run and ask your family about personal problems about your life.
People only act weird about stuff if you act weird. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. If you ask someone if they were wearing a diaper and they start acting all weird and try to lie about something, stumble or run away. Then your going to see how weird they are and feel awkward, want to ask questions or get others involved. Whereas if they just harden up and own it and say "yes" and look like they don't give a sh*t, then what more is there to ask?
Scenario here would be if you saw someone trying to unlock a car with a hanger and the alarm is going off but they just stand there and keep at it.. you thinking robber? Or someone who's pissed they locked their keys in the car? Now if the alarm is going off and they start looking around and acting funny - you're calling the cops.

This "stigma" isn't going to get better if WE act all messed up about it! If anyone in the world should have a "so what" and don't give a ---- attitude about diapers and wearing it should be us.
When you try to act all secret, and look guilty of something then people assume you are doing something wrong. They don't think "they're not hurting anyone" they think "what is this loonie-bin doing and what are they trying to hide??"

OWN IT.

This. You pretty much said what I was gonna say but better.
 
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chronos51

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Lol forgive me for being crass, but all these "possible scenarios" being presented sound highly unlikely and naive lol. Unless you're still in grade school, a decent adult; or rather a decent human being would never react the way a lot of people are assuming, regardless of whether or not you know them.

Personally I agree with Knom all the way, we gotta stop acting scared and awkward because it only contributes to making us seem weird. If people make a big deal about it or have some kind of disdain for something so stupid, it's their failure not yours, so why limit yourself for the stupidity or immaturity of others... You don't have to explain anything to anyone nor do you owe anyone an explanation for the things you do or wear...

And in terms of friends or family friends finding out, unless you explain in detail that you are an adult baby, there is no possible way anyone can relate an ADULT wearing ADULT diapers to pedophilia.... If you are a DL with no AB tendencies, than the fear of pedophilia mislabeling shouldn't even be on your mind lol

I whole heartedly agree, ive to that point where if someone finds out, so what i have nothing to prove to anyone with my diapers. Been wearing them 24/7 work, home, play, errands... its all about personal self esteem. The fear comes from you and why allow fear to run you
 

pilchers

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Yep, thats what i was trying to point out... if you actually *think* about it rationally... we have nothing to fear!

The "stigma" is all in our heads... and if someone DID go to your parents (lol) and tell them you had a diaper fetish what would happen then?

Sure, somebody somewhere probably got beaten up for wearing a diaper... but i think most people wont have that problem.

Trust me, Ive had an ex wife take my diaper fetish to family court to try and stop me from seeing our child. Once the judge understood what the condition was, *she* was the one who was laughed at and belittled for bringing such a nonsense item up in a court!!

Oh... and now my mum knows I have a diaper fetish... so what!
 

Geno

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pilchers said:
Trust me, Ive had an ex wife take my diaper fetish to family court to try and stop me from seeing our child. Once the judge understood what the condition was, *she* was the one who was laughed at and belittled for bringing such a nonsense item up in a court!!

Oh... and now my mum knows I have a diaper fetish... so what!

Sorry to be even more crass than Emily here but..

You've inadvertently proved the opposite here...and I highly doubt it was as rosy as you depict it. Consider yourself extremely lucky with an inapplicable set of circumstances to most people here.

If that got out to my professional community, I'd be a laughing stock forever known as the "diapered researcher" who go his jollies off to them.
I think I'll pass and stick with your first tid bit of advice and think rationally about this and keep this in the realm of reality:

Most people do not want to be known by their fetish, especially for diapers, period. No one may care, and that goes especially they don't' give a flying hell to know.

My own mother specifically told me she does not want to know how me and my partner do it. That it is my own damn business and she respects that. She especially doesn't want to know what I masturbate too. That frankly, is reality. My boyfriend's mom who is even a social worker (deals with a lot of such cases) doesn't want to know or need to know!

I'm sure she'd love to know if we ever did it on her couch! I'm sure she'd be even thrilled to know I spanked it to some diaper porn!

I'd rather be known as an accomplished researcher, not as the town's diaper fetishist and secret inside joke. If you want people to know you (even your mother) by what you get off to and revolve your life around them, well, cool beans. I would never give that kind of advice, to anyone though. And I especially don't encourage that for anyone here unless absolutely necessary.

If people need to feel validated or good about themselves and their AB/DLism, there are better, far more productive and safer ways of doing so than say walking into a public place with nothing but one on, or telling your mother you masturbate in them, or letting your community know why you are in court today.
 
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ClandestineWing

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Trust me, Ive had an ex wife take my diaper fetish to family court to try and stop me from seeing our child. Once the judge understood what the condition was, *she* was the one who was laughed at and belittled for bringing such a nonsense item up in a court!!

I'm calling fallacy. I'm not trying to pin you on a cross or anything like that, I just can't address this without being so blunt; this scenario reeks of fantasy. Even with a good defense attorney by your side and a poor prosecution, I fail to see an easy way he would be able to follow up to "Okay, so my client likes to wear diapers, but..." More importantly, I definitely don't see how your ex-wife would end up on the receiving end of humiliation.

But hey, I have a good question. Why is it so important to make your fetish public and a part of your personality? You have stated before many times that you don't care how society reacts and don't care what anybody else thinks. So why go through the extra effort to expose yourself and post about it here when you don't care what other people think?
 

pilchers

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My story is my story and I dont give a hoot if you believe me or not... this thread is about what *actually* happens if and when you are "found out" to be a wearing a diaper.

Please keep on topic.

If you dont have any input on topic then please start another post elsewhere.

- - - Updated - - -

If people need to feel validated or good about themselves and their AB/DLism, there are better, far more productive and safer ways of doing so than say walking into a public place with nothing but one on, or telling your mother you masturbate in them, or letting your community know why you are in court today

@Geno you are referring to another post, which is closed so... keep it that way... also you are making some gross assumptions in this post!

1. I took my ex to court after she denied me access... she was the one with the defence attourney! and yes, the judge chuckled at her lawyer for bringing up such a ridiculous topic.
2. My mother only found out that I wear nappies because it came up in the court session. I have no other reason to involve her.
3. Who is talking about masturbation? Not me.
4. Your posts conatin a lot of "if" statements so you dont *know* for sure what would happen, you can only assume.
5. You are also assuming that someone would mention it if it was seen.
6. You are assuming that I "get off" to nappies. Lets keep this PG13 as the rules suggest.


SO, If anyone has thought about or actually experienced being found out by someone... Id love to hear from you with your story. If you havent been found out let us know what you think would happen. It may happen one day and you dont want to get caught off guard!
 

Geno

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Yep, thats what i was trying to point out... if you actually *think* about it rationally... we have nothing to fear!

The "stigma" is all in our heads... and if someone DID go to your parents (lol) and tell them you had a diaper fetish what would happen then?

pilchers said:
this thread is about what *actually* happens if and when you are "found out" to be a wearing a diaper.that we have nothing to fear if someone finds about our diaper fetish. That any stigma we think may happen will not happen because it's all in our heads.

Fixed that for you. This thread is nothing but another shameless plug of tying to justify with a few rosy colored stories that being found out, or telling other people about it, will result with a good outcome. That's the obvious theme of this post, and was the running theme of your last couple threads. Hand waving it off as "off-topic" is disingenuous to what you are ultimately trying to show here. So don't sugar coat it.

Do you know what the average person on the street would do if they saw you buying diapers or oddly, looked down at your bum and noticed one?

Nothing. They would assume you are incontinent or have some medical condition and they would go about their business.

Do you know what the average person would do if they saw you in nothing but one in a public place?

They would assume you are probably senile, and depending on the context, may call authorities and remove you from the premises for disrupting their place of business.

Do you know what most folks would say finding diapers in someones' room? That they must be incontinent and ask you a myriad of questions about your health.

Do you know what how most folks would react if you told them you had a diaper fetish or were an Adult baby? Strain your relationship with them at worst (among other possible things), never ask you about it again at best. A lot of the veteran members here can tell you that.

Anyone with some semblance of reality or common sense knows any of the following would happen.

Again, kudos to you though for getting off (seemingly) relatively scot-free. Consider yourself lucky.

6. You are assuming that I "get off" to nappies. Lets keep this PG13 as the rules suggest.

Tell me, what would the average person "assume" if you say you have a diaper fetish. Non-explicit sex talk, such as masturbation, is in the realm of PG-13.

4. Your posts conatin a lot of "if" statements so you dont *know* for sure what would happen, you can only
assume.

No, I have a relative certainty. Much in the same way I jump off a cliff, I'm probably going to die. If I go flash my diaper to children in a community, I'm probably going to be arrested. If I go into a McDonald's with nothing but a soiled diaper on, people are going to think I'm out of my mind and will probably be refused service or served quickly just so they get me out of there.

If that's the kind of world you live in, well enjoy. But the kind of advice dispensed "Its all in our heads, we have nothing to fear" is so far detached from reality I would never condone it. And that's really my point.
 
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dw2169

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I have been wearing diapers for a long time 24/7 and I have never had anyone ask if I am wearing diapers but if they did, I would say yes due to my medical problem. Unless you are wearing a diaper so that it shows really noticeable, no one is going to say anything and if it is noticeable, then you are wanting someone to say something. Being a little bit discrete goes a long way towards having no one notice what you are wearing. People are too busy with their own problems to care about yours.
 

pilchers

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My experiences are true and accurate...Just because somone doesnt believe my story doesnt make it false... it just makes them wrong.

So, if my actions have *good* outcomes and other "veterans" have negative outcomes... shouldnt you be listening to me and taking some advice?

NO ONE I have ever told has had an adverse reaction to me telling them I wear nappies. After a terrible breakdown of a relationship of 7 years (with FULL nappy disclosure) my ex wife decided to try and use it against me and failed. Hard.

Some of my friends know. My mum knows. My wife knows. I am very happy.

I was hoping to show others that a closeted, scared, low self esteem view of our condition is not healthy at all.
 
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acorn

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I gave my party piece on being out'ed in my intro', I do not intend to repeat myself on this thread.
My experiences are true and accurate...Just because somone doesnt believe my story doesnt make it false... it just makes them wrong.
I will accept that what you've said is true, it is the gaps in the story that will cause creditability issues. See quote below.
1. I took my ex to court after she denied me access... she was the one with the defence attourney! and yes, the judge chuckled at her lawyer for bringing up such a ridiculous topic.
2. My mother only found out that I wear nappies because it came up in the court session. I have no other reason to involve her.
I am not questioning line one above, but I cannot reconcile line two with it for the following reason: It is usual for family law courts to be held in camera, more so where there is a minor involved anywhere in the proceedings. It is not standard practice for relatives to be in the courtroom during proceedings. You have given nothing to state why this in camera was not adhered to in your case.

I will not get involved with the "who to tell" debate, only to say that we used to use the phrase "social suicide" on here - once upon a time. We believed then there was such a thing as TMI, an alien concept now, I understand.
 
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