When did you accept / start to indulge your DL side?

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Waldo

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Most probably have stories of unconsciously liking diapers at a young age, but I'm curious when did you finally accept that you like diapers & indulge in them?

For me, I was like 11 & my brother had his little brother over, after they left I found one of the little brothers diapers that they had left. I took the diaper, not even understanding what compelled me to do it put it on. I'm still not exactly sure what made me in that moment wear it, but that was the moment I started to indulge more into diapers. I didn't accept it that I was attracted to diapers until years later, but sorta how it all started for me.
 

giantguy99

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For me the dates where virtually one and the same. I accepted that I was into diapers on Oct 8th of 2013 at 8:36 PM EST. Yes it was not that long ago and I am 36. I was having a binge episode when I started to feel the purge cycle and decided to at least find a name for what was "wrong" with me and typed in on Google Mental Disorders:diapers and found a link of someone who was just so frustrated with themselves that they wanted to someone to talk to. Some nice person called Spokane Girl put up 2 links helping someone who was clearly at their wits end about why they liked diapers on DailyDiapers put up some links of articles (articles from ADISC which is what lead me here shortly thereafter) concerning this issue and well it turned out that it was probably very familiar articles written by Nihlus and Moo. I chose the name accept (now recently changed to accepted) because that's literally what I did that night. Since then I have radically changed so much that I simply do not know myself anymore.

I was never really in denial about my own self identity because of the hell I was going through in my past (read my blog for details on that I don't want to go off-topic here). I can however tell you now I clearly see that while I was not in denial it was more due to the fact that I had a perfectly good and legitimate excuse to not be (distraction from just trying to survive). I can almost guarantee you that if I had the opportunity to be in denial I would have been though.

I was 15 when I realized I liked diapers but I simply could not indulge because my own family was simply being mildly mentally abusive to me because NONE of us knew what Asperger's was and this would develop into my only form of therapy for the longest time and I clearly did not get enough of it back then. I did not get serious about being a DL until I was 16 because by then I had a way to hide what I was doing effectively (my parents would do random searches of my own room and refused to respect my privacy when I lived with them) and I could hide diapers in the trunk of my car and only use them while they where gone.
 

ilostthesheriff

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I got 'busted' using diapers when I was a teen and quickly forgot about them.

It wasn't until I was 38 years old and looked online. I saved an image of a girl in diapers. My GF saw the pic when we were using my computer. She would not let go of the topic once she saw the image. It wasn't long until we had discussed the topic and she was adamant about trying it out ourselves. With much trepidation I concurred and we bought a sample to try.

Before this I had never worn a 'real' diaper. I had buried it in my thoughts previously and had relegated it to pure juvenile tendencies. This moment was the re-awakening of my desires. My pulse was accelerated. My heart rate jumped. My inner-kid wanted to experience it again. Desperately.

At about this time I searched online and found ADISC. There was a whole world of DL's out there! Perhaps it was ok to wear and explore.

I couldn't accept the DL side of me until I had time to evaluate what I was experiencing. After waking up in a diaper next to her a couple of times I had finally given-in to the intoxication of it! I can remember the morning I called-in sick to work while wearing a Bambino Teddy diaper and crawling back into bed with her. It was perhaps the point-of-no-return. I had never felt so energized!

I realized that the 2-pack of Bambinos that I ordered a few days prior was not to be my last.
 

Dan09

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Although I didn't really understand why I even liked them at the time, my first time wearing a diaper that actually fit by my own decision was when I was about 7 or 8 spending the night at my grandmas house.

I have a TON of cousins, many if who would stay at my grandmas from time to time, and while I myself never had a problem with wetting the bed as a kid...I guess some of them did at some point. There was a big closet in my grandmas room that had almost every kind of diaper/pull ups imaginable.

At some point, myself and another (girl) cousin got the idea to try on some of the diapers and parade around grandmas house with them on. My cousin ended up with one of the old Mickey Mouse pull ups, and I had an old plastic backed Luvs with Barney across the tapes, they actually fit me almost perfectly, so I'm assuming they were the larger size.

I ended up wearing them long after the game had ended (under some pants) and grandma even noticed a few times later on that night. The third time she saw me with it on still she gently asked I take it off.
 

Cottontail

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There's a big difference between indulgence and acceptance. I've indulged my diaper desires almost continuously since age six. I had easy access to diapers throughout my childhood. It wasn't until my late teens, however, that I began to accept it and to believe that I wasn't some freak, but rather a mostly-normal guy with a sexual quirk. This acceptance was spurred by my first encounter with the fledgling online AB/DL community in the mid 90's.
 
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CrinklySiren

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I had a friend when I had JUST graduated high-school and was in college, me and her were like sisters, she was always there for me and I always saw her as a big sister ~ I told her about my abdl lifestyle and she showed interest and wanted to indulge me as well as try/wear with me at the same time. I was so ecstatic, because i would call her every time i bought a new outfit or new diaper and tell her about it and she made me feel so little by showing genuine interest, or that kind of "oh yeah? Thats so wonderful :)" kind of attitude, and she would always snuggle with me and play with my hair. She was even the first person to diaper me. After talking and being close friends, she taught me to be confident and be proud of who I am, so thats when i decided to be a "fuck the world, i am me" kind of person, and since then i've been 100% accepting of myself. I was 19 i believe.
 

GryphonGuy

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My whole life I always liked to wear makeshift diapers made out of plastic bags, towels, underwear, and I never understood why I liked to but it made me feel really good. I used to think that I was the only one with this interest until one night last September I thought, "there's gotta be other people like me". So yea, a quick Google search and it lead me to here and I was shocked and excited that so many people of all ages had the same interests and stories as me. That's when I decided to venture out and buy the real thing. So I went to my local 24-7 store with self checkout in the middle of the night and bought a pack of Goodnites since those actually fit me. Took them home and put them on and it was just like a revelation for me. It felt so good to finally wear the real thing. Then just a few days ago I went back to the same store and seen they had their own brand of adult diapers. Bought a 20 pack of those and now have been wearing those ever since. Feels so great to accept and indulge. I wore to bed last night too and slept really good.
 

pinksmart

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I feel like such an oddball when I see threads like this that touch upon acceptance... but I can't remember ever feeling embarrassed or ashamed about my interest in ABDL. I started indulging in my teens, but my interest in pampers actually predates the AB side by almost a decade. I remember loving the way they smelled, fresh out of the bag. I would wear when I was home alone, usually to bed. It got to a point for a while where I couldn't sleep well without being padded. But accepting my behavior as something okay was second nature.

I may be lacking the biological marker for shame. :giggles:
 

dinosaurface

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I knew I liked diapers for as long as I can remember, and I remember making towel diapers as a kid and wearing a whole bunch of underwear at once, because I couldn't get diapers. My parents have always been pretty judgmental and controlling, so shame was a pretty common emotion for me, and I knew very well that a big kid wanting to wear diapers was very weird by most people's standards.

It took me a long time to really accept myself, and to be able to tell myself that it's not a big deal. I think most people you meet are usually weirder than they want you to know, and I think if we could magically access the data, we'd be surprised by the secret desires of the average person. At any rate, it's not hurting anyone, and it's not controlling my life, so I remind myself that it could sure be a lot worse.

I hate to sound so dependent, but I think the final piece needed for me to accept myself, was my boyfriend's acceptance. Really I should have been able to come to terms with it on my own, but having another person here to remind me I'm really not that weird helps a lot, he's been very supportive.
 

dogboy

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I too have always liked diapers. I first realized I wanted to be back in diapers when I was four. I would search the house, looking for diapers, or clothes I had when I was younger. I loved it when I went with my mom shopping, and we went past the diaper isle. That was back when there were stacks of cloth diapers, and white and colored plastic pants hanging on racks. I would dream about diapers, finding diapers in a closet and putting them on.

It wasn't until I was 12 that I acted on it on a regular basis. My parents had gone bankrupt and we had to move. I had a psychotic break, having left my best friend. My mom didn't trust me to be on my own, so she arranged for me to be at a pool at a country club during the afternoons while she and my dad worked. When I came home, i would wet my swim shorts before I would rinse them out. From there, I went to wetting old pairs of underwear. This went on until I was caught my senior year in college. The rest is history.
 

bambinobaby

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While I took diapers from various sources, for me the true indulgence didn't begin until I had my own steady source of income...which for me began at the age of 12. I bought my own diapers from then on, and diapers became a much more permanent part of my life.
 

nevadaguy

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I just did accept that I liked wearing diapers and I am 35. I have dabbled here and there but had never taken the leap into full time wearing. It has been one of the greatest decisions I have made. Very freeing!
 

tall2826

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I have always like diapers for as long as I can remember. I remember getting caught trying to take my younger sisters diapers one time and another time my mom found used diapers I tried to hide which didn't go over well. It wasn't until I was 18 when these desires really flared up and I just accepted my self about a year or two later. I haven't been caught since that first but I have had a few close calls.
 

Millbay

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Hi there
For several years I suppressed (big mistake) my DL feelings. Looking back at my life I now realise that my feelings started when I was forced (medical reasons) to wear diapers for two weeks in hospital as a teenager as if I did not wear them I would not be allowed out of bed to play etc. The diaper became a symbol of freedom and comfort I did miss them when I was allowed home. However I hid my feelings deep in my memory and over the the the last twenty years they would resurface. I took the decision last year to indulge and fee myself and bought my first pack of diapers it took a lot of courage to overcome the embarrassment in the shop however I now so glad I did. Reading various posts here by another member I took great comfort and two weeks ago took the plunge to wear diapers 24/7 in public and did not care what others thought. So far I have been out with friends and family and they have not even noticed. I have now even started to use the diaper in public without too much problem when a loo is not available. The only change that my friends have noticed is that I am a lot more confident and a happier person!
 

Gsmax

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I began to indulge in my DL side when I was 13. However, that was followed by tremendous guilt and low self-esteem. It wasn't until I was 17 that I came to terms with my fetish and accepted it as just a sexual quirk and not feeling like a freak.
 

princeofpacis

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Let's see... about 15, I knew I had in interest in "little" things and diapers as well, but I insisted to myself and everyone else that it was strictly non-sexual because at the time I was extremely conservative and sexually repressed because of the unhealthy religious beliefs I forced upon myself. I was terrified of having a fetish, frankly.

Then at about 16, that's when I started to free myself from my own false morality and finally began exploring my sexuality. My arousal stemming from diapers just became another one of my colorful fetishes instead of something terribly shameful.

Funny how I went from a straight mega-Christian girl with a repressed sexuality to a Pagan transgender man who is quite proud of all his wondrous kinks in less than three years! Never say never!
 

Calico

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I started wearing them when I was 17 and I was buying them with my own money. Before I didn't even have a car and we lived in the country and I didn't steal any from my great uncle or grandfather. I could have done it but I didn't want to be that person and I didn't want to be into diapers.
 

AmberBulb95

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I've been sucking dummies since I was 13, and I recently bought some diapers! I didn't identify myself in this community until last year. I wouldn't be able to talk about myself unless I was anonymous :3
 

MrHappy69

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Although I knew I had a fascination with nappies from a very early age, I can trace the beginning of my indulgence and acting on impulse to one very specific event in my life which is indelibly stamped on my memory in great detail, and one which I will never forget. It was the first time I made a purchase, which in fact was not nappies, but plastic pants, which were really what I was more into at first - the nappies came a little later! I was 13 and can clearly remember buying my first baby pants from a branch of Woolworth's not far from where I lived. I can remember that I bought three pairs - one was a pink pair of plastic pants with poppers down each side, and the other two pairs were training pants, and I can remember that one pair was yellow and the other blue; each had a layer of terry cloth lining. I can clearly remember the price of the training pants - 89p each!! and I can recall that there were two ladies at the checkout - one reading out the price tags and the other ringing them up on the till. I can remember their faces and their accents.

What now seems remarkable was that the whole transaction was carried out so nonchalantly as though it was the most normal thing in the world for a 13 year old boy to be purchasing baby items such as those! And I wasn't in the least anxious or embarrassed. That was back in 1979, and as I said, remains so clear in my memory as though it were yesterday!

If I might be permitted to go off-thread with a footnote regarding Woolworth's: For many of us in the UK, it was a sad and great loss when Woolworth's branches closed their doors for the last time after the global financial crash in 2008. Apart from the cultural heritage which Woolworth's represented, for me personally, Woolworth's will always be associated in my mind with its baby wear section which always attracted my curiosity long before, and after, my first illicit purchase there mentioned above.
I don't know if other people here from the UK recall, but every branch of Woolworth's always had a certain smell - like a sort of clean, 'new', 'plasticy' sort of aroma which always subconsciously reminded me of baby paraphernalia. That great store's passing left me genuinely bereft of a really personal association. WOOLWORTH'S - sadly missed but never forgotten.
 
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