I have been thinking about diapers since ever I can remember. I know I was pottytrained way way earlier than kids usually are, and up from then the topic diapers became a total taboo. When I was three years old, I was incredibly jealous on other kids around my age who were still allowed to wear or use them.
During the next years there was this neighbour girl who would wear at night because she still wet the bed. Of course we were best friends and I adored her. However I would never dare to try one myself or to steal one, but kept my thoughts secret and for myself. When I was 12, I had my first personal experience of physical arousal from deliberately wetting my underwear while being alone at home when parents were still at work. I had no clue why I would like it or why I would keep doing it, but it just felt good. I was always very careful to hide any evidence or traces, would handwash the underwear and made sure it would be dried up again on the radiator before my parents came back. And whenever phantasizing about a girl I fancied or found attractive, of course I was secretely imagining her still needing and using diapers.
I kept doing my secret underwear wetting ritual regularly until I was 17. Often I would fabricate some fake diaper out of toilet paper and wrap it around myself like a diaper, and then sit down on the toilet or in the shower and wet it. It was my way to get to climax. I felt very weird about it, and very guilty, and I did not understand at all why I liked it. I thought I was the only one in the entire world to be like this, and that I needed to stop, because I thought it was wrong. But the urge never went away.
I never had the guts to go buy diapers and try until I was 17. That was the very time in my life when we got internet, and I still remember that the first thing I looked up online was "diapers", "women in diapers" etc. And I felt such a big relief then when I discovered that I was not the only one like this. I became a member in a German diaperlover forum, and started making friends. Particulary with a girl who was just one year older than myself, and who was a diaperlover herself, and who had already more experience with diaper brands and how to discretely order them online. She lived like 90 minutes away by train. And before I could even order a diaper myself, she invited me over and would introduce me into different brands, taught me how to correctly put them on etc. It helped me a lot to actually accept myself and what I like, and I had no more self esteem issues at all after that, but completely started to live my DL life out.
The first diapers I ordered were plastic-backed Tena Maxis, when they were still good and not as bad they have become today. I am one of those DLs who are only interested in plastic-backed diapers which crinkle. Plastic pants over the diaper are also cute, but no necessity, and they do not even interest me at all if they aren't worn in combination with a diaper. Either way, I don't wanna go too much off the topic. But yeah, those were my first diapers I ever bought. I was lucky enough to have a good guide, so I would not have to go through all the experimenting and being-dissappointed-about-pullups-or-bad-brands-phase. We were still staying in contact as good friends for a while, until our ways seperated and we lost contact. But that was the triggering experience for sure to finally start for real, and I never stopped being a DL or being attracted to a woman wearing and using diapers until today.
Since my age of 17 I would always be honest and upfront about my diaper attraction to any partner I ever had, and then lived some very hedonistic 20s too. I was lucky enough to have very openminded and fetish-curious partners, who would even let me introduce them into diapers and who would wanna participate and even enjoy posting on German and French diaperforums themselves then. And the reason for any breakoff, has never been the fetish, but different life plans after college.