What to do if your boyfriend likes diapers

Otterpup

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My intention for this post is to provide the type of answers I was looking for when my boyfriend told me he liked diapers. I hope this can help someone who is nervous to tell their SO, or give advise to someone just finding out.

My boyfriend first told me he had a diaper fetish about three months after we started dating. He started the conversation out by saying "I have something to tell you." Hearing that, I immediately asked if it was good or bad? His response was, "I think its really fun, and it has the potential to be a good thing depending on how you perceive it." He then told me he had a fetish and wanted me to guess what it was. I threw a couple ideas out there but eventually after getting a few wrong ones, he just came out and told me. "I have a diaper fetish."

I had never heard about this fetish and if I'm being honest, I thought he was joking at first. Not only that, but my first assumption of what that meant was far different from what it actually is. I didn't know how to feel at first. I started asking questions so I could have a better understanding. I also started doing my own research to see what this fetish might look like. I wanted to know that other people had been in the same situation that I was, and see how that turned out. I found some posts about fetishes in general, but not many specific to diapers. I will say that looking at what other fetishes are out there, this one can actually be quite tame in comparison. It doesn't harm anyone, and it only involves consenting adults.

The best answers I got were from having honest conversations with my SO. He told me what he likes specifically and how he fits into the abdl community. He told me that I could be as little or as much involved as I wanted, and that he wasn't going to push me into trying anything I wasn't comfortable with. Even stating that I didn't have to participate at all, and that he would understand that. But he did make it clear that this was something that was a part of himself that he can't change, and that he would continue to do on his own. I respected that, and knew that it took a lot of courage and trust for him to share this with me.

I consider myself a fairly open minded person, as well as very nosy. So naturally I was curious what this would look like with our relationship going forward. I wanted to at least give it a try and see how I felt after that. We started out very slow and before trying anything, had a conversation about what I believed I would and would not be comfortable with doing. (This list has changed significantly for me since that first comversation). At first, I was only interested in trying to wear a diaper (pull-ups actually). If this is your first time introducing a SO to diapers, I would highly recommend starting with goodnights or something similar if possible since they are fairly thin, discreet, and easy to put on! Then trying actual diapers at a later time if the pull ups go well.

At first, I told him that I didn't feel comfortable trying to wet the pull up, but after a couple times just wearing one, I decided to give it a try! Wetting is not as easy as it sounds. There is a big mental block to get around if it's your first time trying. Eventually, I was able to do it, but I was very embarrassed! My SO was very supportive and reassured me how special it was to him that I even gave it a try and told me that I looked very cute. Aside from that, we've had a lot of fun with me just wearing a pull up under high-waisted jeans in public. I promise you, you can't see them under your jeans, and like I said before, they are very discreet. (Plus, it's fun and exciting knowing that you have a secret that only you and your SO know about).

There's a lot more to that I could say but I think I'll just make separate posts for that. I'll finish this one by saying that even though I don't have this same fetish, I have found multiple aspects of it that I really enjoy and that have made our relationship stronger and more intimate. Even though I was hesitant at first, I now love this secret part of our relationship that I never knew I wanted!

If anyone else has any other advice to share let me know! Maybe someone new to this situation will stumble across all this in the future.
 
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Sounds like you found a diamond in the rough to me. As long as the both of you are comfortable with doing this and you both have fun, go for it.😁
 
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Otterpup said:
My intention for this post is to provide the type of answers I was looking for when my boyfriend told me he liked diapers. I hope this can help someone who is nervous to tell their SO, or give advise to someone just finding out.

My boyfriend first told me he had a diaper fetish about three months after we started dating. He started the conversation out by saying "I have something to tell you." Hearing that, I immediately asked if it was good or bad? His response was, "I think its really fun, and it has the potential to be a good thing depending on how you perceive it." He then told me he had a fetish and wanted me to guess what it was. I threw a couple ideas out there but evenly after getting a few wrong ones, he just came out and told me. "I have a diaper fetish."

I had never heard about this fetish and if I'm being honest, I thought he was joking at first. Not only that, but my first assumption of what that meant was far different from what it actually is. I didn't know how to feel at first. I started asking questions so I could have a better understanding. I also started doing my own research to see what this fetish might look like. I wanted to know that other people had been in the same situation that I was, and see how that turned out. I found some posts about fetishes in general, but not many specific to diapers. I will say that looking at what other fetishes are out there, this one can actually be quite tame in comparison. It doesn't harm anyone, and it only involves consenting adults.

The best answers I got were from having honest conversations with my SO. He told me that I could be as little or as much involved as I wanted, and that he wasn't going to push me into trying anything I wasn't comfortable with. Even stating that I didn't have to participate at all, and that he would understand that. But he did make it clear that this was something that was a part of himself that he can't change, and that he would continue to do on his own. I respected that, and knew that it took a lot of courage and trust for him to share this with me.

I consider myself a fairly open minded person, as well as very nosy. So naturally I was curious what this would look like with our relationship going forward. I wanted to at least give it a try and see how I felt after that. We started out very slow and before trying anything, had a conversation about what I believed I would and would not be comfortable with doing. (This list has changed significantly for me since that first comversation). At first, I was only interested in trying to wear a diaper (pull-ups actually). If this is your first time introducing a SO to diapers, I would highly recommend starting with goodnights or something similar if possible since they are fairly thin, discreet, and easy to put on! Then trying actual diapers at a later time if the pull ups go well.

At first, I told him that I didn't feel comfortable trying to wet the pull up, but after a couple times just wearing one, I decided to give it a try! Wetting is not as easy as it sounds. There is a big mental block to get around if it's your first time trying. Eventually, I was able to do it, but I was very embarrassed! My SO was very supportive and reassured me how special it was to him that I even gave it a try and told me that I looked very cute. Aside from that, we've had a lot of fun with me just wearing a pull up under high-waisted jeans in public. I promise you, you can't see them under your jeans, and like I said before, they are very discreet. (Plus, it's fun and exciting knowing that you have a secret that only you and your SO know about).

There's a lot more to that I could say but I think I'll just make separate posts for that. I'll finish this one by saying that even though I don't have this same fetish, I have found multiple aspects of it that I really enjoy and that have made our relationship stronger and more intimate. Even though I was hesitant at first, I now love this secret part of our relationship that I never knew I wanted!

If anyone else has any other advice to share let me know! Maybe someone new to this situation will stumble across all this in the future.
I love your avatar! Very cute. Thank you for being open minded , I'm sure you will discover many new things as you travel through life. And thanks for your honesty!
 
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My advice is to just enjoy your relationship and growing levels intimacy, while participating as long as you are having with it, but don't try to push it beyond what's comfortable. Diaper fetishes come in as many varieties as there are people who enjoy it, and what one person may not be able to tolerate, another may find it totally compatible. My best to you and your BF.
 
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Thanks for the post. It’s a very helpful message for those of us who have not told our SO at all. I’m sure I’m not alone in saying that for some of us with a diaper fetish we feel our SO would never accept it. Now maybe that’s true but seeing your message gives hope that maybe it’s not true. Thanks
 
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I enjoyed reading your post, @Otterpup. Just know, right now you're one of the coolest people because you accepted and tried it before making your opinion.

I posted on this forum about my experience about liking wearing diapers and revealing it to my exes. I have four exes, one of who did not accept the idea. That ex listened to me explain in brevity and said something along the lines of "well, everyone has something weird that they do and it doesn't change them as a person, I mean, I've know you through high school and didn't know until now." I reminded her that I remembered her little secret... She said "Oh, God!" But I didn't let her ARGO corn starch eating (when she was stressed) get in the way. I didn't remind her that was what I was talking about. 😏

My other exes thought it was cute and although only two of them tried wearing and using diapers themselves, it was always a sexual thing. I didn't really want it to be sexual because I need to wear diapers at night because I wet the bed sometimes. I think because I talked about pee accidents with those exes it was a smoother transition to disclosing that I actually like wearing diapers.

I really, my exes either took diapers to another intimate level when we had sex, or they just thought I was a baby and cute which I guess they accepted because I was still doing "what a man should do" and fixed the cars and made good money and have good morals yet had a little soft side that they embraced since I'm don't make a huge deal about wearing diapers.

It really shouldn't be a deal big enough to dictate the relationship and I hope you didn't mind reading my post to understand my experience.
 
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I admire you for your openness and acceptance. My wife was very accepting. She didn't directly participate bought she was very thoughtful and bought me a lot of AB/DL related things like plushies, sippy cups, onsies, footed jammies, etc. And you're right. It's a harmless fetish or lifestyle.
 
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Thanks for sharing and being so accepting. Your bf is very lucky to have you!
 
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@Otterpup you’re very good at articulating the finer points of your journey. Two key building blocks to success jump out to me in your story. The combination of honesty by your bf and your good natured open mind. I also believe that minds are generally more open in the early euphoric beginnings of a relationship than later. All the ABDL secret keepers should take a lesson from stories like yours. Thanks for sharing.
 
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Otterpup
I’d be interested in how you progressed in accepting and subsequently even wearing a diaper. How did you react to seeing your bf in a diaper the first time? Were you comfortable in having him openly wear around you? Having him noticeably wet?
I ask because my wife says she accepts that I wear but only if I basically keep my wearing hidden. I think she deals with it according to “out of sight, out of mind”. While my wife tends to be open-minded, she seems to have trouble dealing with her husband in a diaper.
 
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Mal8 said:
Thanks for the post. It’s a very helpful message for those of us who have not told our SO at all. I’m sure I’m not alone in saying that for some of us with a diaper fetish we feel our SO would never accept it. Now maybe that’s true but seeing your message gives hope that maybe it’s not true. Thanks
I know that my SO had the same fears that you do. But he brought it up in a positive and exciting way and was very honest with it all. It's been a learing experience for both of us but I love how close sharing this secret has brought us together. Best of luck to you if you do decide to tell your SO :)
 
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SofiaInPampers said:
Sounds like you found a diamond in the rough to me. As long as the both of you are comfortable with doing this and you both have fun, go for it.😁
Woah woah keep your voice down, Jafar has a thing for diamonds in the rough 😂
 
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Marry him!
 
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Kayleigh said:
Otterpup
I’d be interested in how you progressed in accepting and subsequently even wearing a diaper. How did you react to seeing your bf in a diaper the first time? Were you comfortable in having him openly wear around you? Having him noticeably wet?
I ask because my wife says she accepts that I wear but only if I basically keep my wearing hidden. I think she deals with it according to “out of sight, out of mind”. While my wife tends to be open-minded, she seems to have trouble dealing with her husband in a diaper.
I'd say I was pretty much okay with the idea of just wearing right away. I thought of it like an article of clothing and also noticed how similar the material was to feminine products. As far as warming up to the idea of wetting (which I didn't think I'd be comfortable with, but now do regularly), the more I wore them, I figured why not at least give it a try and if I hated it, I just wouldn't do it again. My SO didn't wear in front of me for a few months after I started wearing. So I asked him to wear with me! The first time he wet infront of me, we both decided to wet at the same time but we're too nervous to do it while making eye contact with each other. So we turned the lights off and went to opposite corners of the room. We tried to not be too serious and I remember laughing because he asked me a question and he was like "I can't talk right now" and he was like "why?" So I just yelled out "I'm peeing!" And we both started laughing.

I would say if your wife is open to the idea of just wearing a pull up (no pressure to wet or anything) she might get used to the idea of them being around and seeing you in one. I feel like personally, if I wasn't ever included in this part of my SO's life I wouldn't understand it and would maybe have assumptions about it that may be incorrect. The more I've been exposed to them and the more I try with them, the more I think "what the big stigma anyway?" And "why can't this be more acceptable?" I've actually found it quite fun!
 
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Otterpup said:
I'd say I was pretty much okay with the idea of just wearing right away. I thought of it like an article of clothing and also noticed how similar the material was to feminine products. As far as warming up to the idea of wetting (which I didn't think I'd be comfortable with, but now do regularly), the more I wore them, I figured why not at least give it a try and if I hated it, I just wouldn't do it again. My SO didn't wear in front of me for a few months after I started wearing. So I asked him to wear with me! The first time he wet infront of me, we both decided to wet at the same time but we're too nervous to do it while making eye contact with each other. So we turned the lights off and went to opposite corners of the room. We tried to not be too serious and I remember laughing because he asked me a question and he was like "I can't talk right now" and he was like "why?" So I just yelled out "I'm peeing!" And we both started laughing.

I would say if your wife is open to the idea of just wearing a pull up (no pressure to wet or anything) she might get used to the idea of them being around and seeing you in one. I feel like personally, if I wasn't ever included in this part of my SO's life I wouldn't understand it and would maybe have assumptions about it that may be incorrect. The more I've been exposed to them and the more I try with them, the more I think "what the big stigma anyway?" And "why can't this be more acceptable?" I've actually found it quite fun!
I'm so happy that you could join with your SO and both of you learn to have fun with diapers. I wanted to find a girl like you for so long until I finally met my fiancee. I could never quite understand why wearing and wetting my diapers could be so much fun for me, but how others found it weird or repellent. After all its just diapers and pee.
 
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Let me begin by saying I am very appreciative that this thread was started. Time and time again, I see threads that address this topic from one side on the other, more often leaning into the unaccepted side of the spectrum, so I appreciate you being so honest, open and understanding to your SOs thoughts, feelings and wants.

This thread really struck a chord with me though. Yes, I’ve read success stories before, but none have really struck me the way this one has. Your story and how accepting you’ve been gives me a lot of hope. As someone who one day would like to find someone special and start a family while balancing this lifestyle, your story really gives me hope that one day I will find the right person and I’ll be able to achieve those goals and live my dreams.

Your story is very inspiring for not only myself, but many others here, and I’m very thankful that you opted to share it with us here. 😊
 
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First off I have to ask... Does your boyfriend have mobility issues? I would assume it would be pretty hard trying to walk around with those massive balls.

Shoutout to my man for bringing it up. I don't know if I would do it early as 3 months, but it is what it is. I normally like to try and wait for my partner to want to experiment more things as a "brainstorm." I'll be like "I saw this interesting thing the other day where they wear diapers, etc" without seeming to enthused where I'm able to back out if they find it weird. I will say, thank you for being open or at least not freaking out. I have major respect for people who don't like someone else's preferences, but still respect them enough to be civilized about it.

I consider myself a diaper lover and not so much an adult baby. Diapers for me are sexual so I really only care for the diapers themselves and using them, not so much the acting like a child part. I'm obviously not saying this is you, but the cool thing about bringing diapers into bed (if that's something you're looking at down the road) is that it can tie in with so many other parts of "play" You could very easily incorporate them into some bondage or forced wetting/messing, etc. The opportunities are endless. Obviously if you don't have any intention of making them sexual, please ignore this paragraph lmao.
 
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DiaperedMoo said:
Shoutout to my man for bringing it up. I don't know if I would do it early as 3 months, but it is what it is. I normally like to try and wait for my partner to want to experiment more things as a "brainstorm.
I will say, as far as him telling me after 3 months, I think his timing worked out just right. We were at a point where we were both saying I love you on a regular basis. We had also had some conversation about the future and both wanted to keep this relationship going long term. As well as some conversations about our secrets and being vulnerable with each other. The timing just felt right. I also appreciated his honesty about the situation. But every couple is different and I understand that what worked for us may not work for everyone.
 
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I'd suggest the best way to show your support if you're on a personal enough level is to surprise him with a bag of diapers and see if he'd like to change into one and model a bit for you ;)
 
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