Incontinence is symptom of a disease or injury. People forget this simple fact. I've been urge incontinent my entire life and it's like living in purgatory. Actually, its not that bad, but I do wish I had either complete control or absolutely no control (i.e. no feeling). I'm on the latter end of that scale, but I sometimes convince myself that I can go around undiapered and typically end up wetting and/or messing myself. That's way worse then wetting and/or messing my diaper.
If you can accept diapers, find another way to manage the problem or ultimately cure your incontinence, you can move on with your life. If you can't then it can be pretty miserable. Everyone handles it in their own way. However, like I said, it's a symptom of a disease or injury, which in my case is OAB and IBS. Some people I know who are incontinent have MD and spinal cord injuries. I used to suffer from generalized anxiety disease (initiated from recreational drug use) and I still have minor nervous system issues at night. Anyway, people rarely just have incontinence, usually they are dealing with some other problem too. Those other problems can be far worse than the incontinence.
Honestly, I can't understand why someone who has perfect control would want to be incontinent. It's like saying you want to injure some part of you body, permanently, with repercussions well beyond simply not being able to hold your urine or feces.