What if Britain won in the Revolutionary War?

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Pojo

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Here's a topic that came up in class today...What do you think America (or the world) would be like, if we (America) never won against Britain in the Revolutionary War? It doesn't matter how it happened, you can speculate on how you think it would happen, but the main question to answer is how you think it would be like today (or maybe a kind of time-line if you have the time to make up one?)
 

Dawes

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What you're looking at is something that might have been like a butterfly effect. What you're effectively suggesting is that America never came to power or existence, and that the colonies would have remained supplicant to British rule. In doing so, I imagine that all of the different expansions of America as it is now are completely gone. The only thing that would have surely remained, in any form, would have been the existence of the colonies. No fifty states, no Civil War, no American inclusion in the development of NATO or anything like that. I'm not trying to say that America was pivotal in the way history played out (which I actually don't believe as much as people might say), but that some of the choices she made could have entirely affected the way other world decisions were done.

I can't necessarily say that I'd even begin to be able to assume what the world would be like -- I think the differences would be so vastly different that I couldn't even begin putting them into words. Writing a story about it might be cool, though!
 

Takashi

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There is a very simple answer to this; If we lost the Revolutionary War or it never happend the English would be a major world power and would rule the world.
 

cylenrii

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if we did lose like everyone said they would become rulers of the world change government as we know it
but thats not to say they couldn't be overthrown by someone else another time
 

Pramrider

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I can't necessarily say that I'd even begin to be able to assume what the world would be like -- I think the differences would be so vastly different that I couldn't even begin putting them into words. Writing a story about it might be cool, though!
Yeah, that's what I was thinking, Rance. A myriad of historical events took place between the 18th and 20th centuries to even be able to consider in a post that was anywhere near being brief.

On the lighter side, guess I'd be having my afternoon tea right about now.;)

~Pramrider
 

Peachy

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You guys would be sipping tea in the afternoon, eating your meat with mint sauce and your coins and bills would show the Queen rather than some president.
Oh, and you'd say potahto, not potayto :tongueout:

Peachy
 

legokid

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If us Brits won the Queen would say this


To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II:



In light of your failure in the Revolutionary War. Britain will rule over you


Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).


Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.



Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.


A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.


To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:



1. Look up "aluminium", and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.


2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as "colour", "favour", "labour" and "neighbour." Likewise, you will learn to spell "doughnut" without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise'. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (Look up "vocabulary").


3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let M*crosoft know on your behalf. The M*crosoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter "u" and the elimination of -ize.



4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.


5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not ready to shoot grouse.



6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.



7. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.


8. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.


9. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with cxdeadxp but with vinegar.




10. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of British Commonwealth - see what it did for them.


11. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.


12. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try rugby yet; the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, as they regularly thrash us.



13. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.



14. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.


15. An inland revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).



16. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups (never mugs), with saucers, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.



GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!
 

doubledbbw

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The world would be a very different place as it is today. It would also mean that I would have served in the Royal Marines and Royal Army too.
 

paddedhawk

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Form the time America would have lost the war until about 1860 the only transatlantic communication was by ship. it's just too hard to believe that Britain could have continued to rule the colonies for another 80 years by mail carried on a ship. At some point another revolt was bound to take place and eventually be successful.
 

Ichor

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Two things would happen;

1. A wave of drunken behaviour would sweep the US as the British began importing cheap supermarket lager for the masses, as well as the 10,000 different types of bottled ale produced in little villages in the back-end of Norfolk.

2. Every state would be re-named. Texas will be New-Suffolk, Florida will be New-Lancashire, and New York will be New York. (Oh! The invasion has already begun! ^^)
 

Dawes

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Form the time America would have lost the war until about 1860 the only transatlantic communication was by ship. it's just too hard to believe that Britain could have continued to rule the colonies for another 80 years by mail carried on a ship. At some point another revolt was bound to take place and eventually be successful.
Jay,

I have to agree with you there. Revolution in countries that were created by it or exist because of it is bound to occur again until the ideal separation is attained. It's Hegel's theory just applied to countries, and I believe it's a pretty accurate assumption to think that even failed revolutions will be answered with further attempts.
 

Pramrider

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2. Every state would be re-named. Texas will be New-Suffolk, Florida will be New-Lancashire, and New York will be New York. (Oh! The invasion has already begun! ^^)
...and "New England" would apply to the whole country, not just the northeast most states.

~Pramrider
 

CarKid

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Then we would probably be English........:dunno:
 
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We, Americans, would all have funny accents and understand John Cleese's humor?

Doctor Who would never have been allowed to go off the air.

Oh, Legobaby, the World Series has been played in Canada, which is not part of the US. If the rest of the world would bother to learn how to play the game, then perhaps we could have a true World Series.

Soccer is a wussy game that way too often ends 0-0 or 1-0, or on some weird thing called "penalty kicks." I guess the penalty was that no one could score in the 90 minutes they ran around.

Will we all have to have bad teeth?

And Craig Ferguson would be Royally (literally) screwed.
 

Grutzvalt

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Computers would never have been invented. Steve Jobs and Hewlett/Packard were from the Bay Area, and thats where the whole hippy revolution was, well- That's also where some idea for the computer started. Let me ask you this: Do you like ADISC? Yeah, thank America for winning the war! <-- ADISC runs on a server. A server is a computer.

Oh, and plus, I'd be throwing tea in the crapper.
 

Fire2box

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16. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups (never mugs), with saucers, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
But, but I like my Chai tea in a mug! :frown:
 

chevre

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  • Bacon would be chewy
  • I'd have bad teeth
  • I'd wear my pants on the inside
  • I'd drive on the wrong side of the road

No, no, no! :eek:

  • All the tea you can drink (subject to tax, of course)
  • Lots of crumpets

:thumbsup:
 
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