What do you say to those who call us 'creepy' and 'perverted'?

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ThoughtsInsideADream

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I say this:

Diaper Lovers are creepy, are they? Well look at all the other kinks around. Spanking, by far the most common and, to a certain extent, accepted, based on a violent tradition of what we'd now term child abuse. The vast numbers of people who read 'Fifty Shades of Grey', about a man who enjoys tying up and abusing a woman. The sexualisation of children in general, with mini-skirts in mini sizes and t-shirts that say 'no money, no honey'. Pole-dancing kits for under tens. The current fashion for removing pubic hair, making a woman look like a 13 year old down below. Fraternity initiation ceremonies. The phrase 'suck it, b****'. Rape porn. Torture porn.

An erotic interest in medicinal underwear doesn't even approach these for twistedness.

Maybe you think we're paedophiles? Not really. I don't see a baby in a diaper and think 'phwoar!'. My interest is entirely confined to adults. If you saw my 'image' collection you'd see what I mean: sexy, voluptuous and fully grown men and women in a certain kind of undergarment.

But that doesn't matter. I feel your real beef is that we are rare. We are alien to you, and difficult to understand. We are a minority. And doesn't the minority always seem to be the one that gets the kicking?

- - - Updated - - -

Or, to condense the above, 'you're a hypocrite and don't know what you're talking about.'
 

Trevor

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I'm not inclined to spend a lot of energy on people who are fixated on how awful we are. I'm happy to explain and clear up any honest misconceptions. I'm even okay with those who have made an honest effort to understand but still get the "eww!" reaction about it (as long as I'm not dating them, anyway). If someone is convinced we're some special kind of horrible despite all the rational evidence, that's on them and I move along.
 

Beloney

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I tell them to say it to my face or f-off! I'm very nice but I'm tired of taking people's crap. Too many years of verbal abuse and negative words into my mind. I have found that most of us here are nice people and we deserve to be treated with respect.
 

babyboyd

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not worth letting it bother you . everyone has some degree of kink you could argue that different sex positions even are and my guess is they ere so ashamed of ther further out there thing they over compensate , so poo on them !!! lol
 
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I've never found attacking people to be an effective way of convincing them that they're wrong. It tends to just make them defensive and hostile.

If somebody is so angry that they're simply hurling insults, it's best to ignore them. They're probably just looking for a rise out of you anyway.

For other people, the ones who disapprove but are willing to talk about it and ask questions, I think a better tactic is to explore it with them. Ask them why they're bothered and clear up misunderstandings. Explain why it makes you feel good and how it's not hurting anybody else. Even if they still disapprove at the end, you'll understand each other better. And they might mull it over and change their minds over time.
 

tall2826

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I don't say anything naturally because I'm shy in most social situations. I have learned to ignore people who hate because it is not worth my time or energy to address in my opinion.
I also think if I get defensive about it or disagree because they will think something will be up and they will find out about me.
 
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While I do not run into all that often, there have been times that the subject of "AB/DL" comes up in some sort of conversation concerning a persons needs and/or desires. In those few times I am rather appalled as to how quick these so called "understanding" individuals are in castigating those that have desires and needs like ourselves. On all occasions that this has happened my dander gets right up there very quickly of which I point out that this particular fetish (for a lack of a better word at the time) is actually very tame, very discerning, and very peaceful in comparison to some of the more well known fetishes. At this point I get the "LOOK" of which I calmly reply, smiling at the same time while saying "those that have baby/diaper wishes deserve to be respected and treated properly". Not once after that statement have I been taken to task to delve even further.

While I do not have any serious desires to delve into the AB part of life, I fully respect those that do. In fact I will get up on my feet and holler for that right of yours. Just as I expect those to stand up for my right to wear diapers 24/7 and enjoy its intimate pleasure which is fully enhanced by the freedom to wet in happiness.:thumbsup:
 

gigglemuffinz

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I've never really met someone who thinks I'm creepy or perverted. Like..

I tend to find that most people tend to be pretty understanding. I think these people are more rare then people imagine. Even my normal friends that found out were basically like, "yeah that makes sense".. I mean I don't exactly hide my super pink princess attitude after all.

I guess theoretically if I met them, I would just be like.. "Eh, sorry you think that way. It's not creepy, and I'm okay with talking about it.. but if you would rather we just avoid it and I make sure not to expose you to anything in the future.. that's fine too." To me, it's not a deal breaker. Everyone has their things they are a bit 'squishy' about. I mean, one of the people who is probably the most supportive of me ever admits she finds it a bit "gross" in the "that's kinda physically gross" sense.
 

BoundCoder

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Meh, to some people anything besides unprotected sex in the missionary position with the lights off and for the sole purpose of reproduction is perverted. The gut reaction to AB/DL, even from intelligent and generally open minded folk is always likely going to be negative as mixing the terms baby and fetish is going to make people initially think pedo. Once the whole thing is explained, that it's consenting adults, no children involved, etc, you mind find some acceptance, but the initial reaction is likely going to be bad.

Personally, I don't really care. I keep this stuff secret and have never really sought or cared about acceptance from others. My main thing is bondage, which is accepted enough for me.
 

KittyninjaW

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I say this:

Diaper Lovers are creepy, are they? Well look at all the other kinks around. Spanking, by far the most common and, to a certain extent, accepted, based on a violent tradition of what we'd now term child abuse. The vast numbers of people who read 'Fifty Shades of Grey', about a man who enjoys tying up and abusing a woman. The sexualisation of children in general, with mini-skirts in mini sizes and t-shirts that say 'no money, no honey'. Pole-dancing kits for under tens. The current fashion for removing pubic hair, making a woman look like a 13 year old down below. Fraternity initiation ceremonies. The phrase 'suck it, b****'. Rape porn. Torture porn.

An erotic interest in medicinal underwear doesn't even approach these for twistedness.

Maybe you think we're paedophiles? Not really. I don't see a baby in a diaper and think 'phwoar!'. My interest is entirely confined to adults. If you saw my 'image' collection you'd see what I mean: sexy, voluptuous and fully grown men and women in a certain kind of undergarment.

But that doesn't matter. I feel your real beef is that we are rare. We are alien to you, and difficult to understand. We are a minority. And doesn't the minority always seem to be the one that gets the kicking?

- - - Updated - - -

Or, to condense the above, 'you're a hypocrite and don't know what you're talking about.'

Amen!
 

RMS401

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I found this thread yesterday, moments before I had to leave for an appointment, and couldn't get back to it till just now. I'm actually glad I waited, since ArchiRoni said exactly what I wanted said.

The only way you're ever going to move someone off the idea that we're freaks or worse is by engaging them in conversation, making them want to learn more, and not put them on the defensive. Attacking someone's beliefs--no matter how wrong you think they are--is the fastest way to cement them. Instead, engage them, start a discussion in which you accept their ideas as topics you're open to exploring and then, in the end, dispelling.

That's really the only way to change anyone's mind.

-RMS
 

KittyninjaW

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I found this thread yesterday, moments before I had to leave for an appointment, and couldn't get back to it till just now. I'm actually glad I waited, since ArchiRoni said exactly what I wanted said.

The only way you're ever going to move someone off the idea that we're freaks or worse is by engaging them in conversation, making them want to learn more, and not put them on the defensive. Attacking someone's beliefs--no matter how wrong you think they are--is the fastest way to cement them. Instead, engage them, start a discussion in which you accept their ideas as topics you're open to exploring and then, in the end, dispelling.

That's really the only way to change anyone's mind.

-RMS

True in so many ways RMS, although there are some people you can't change there minds, but still you can at least talk to them and they will hopefully listen.
 

ApplePi

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Why, change the persons mind.
Yes it can be annoying and sad that some people feel that way.
And some of those people just want to pick a fight/debate,
but I rather would invest the time explaining to the people closest and hope for the best.
 
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Fruitkitty

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There's a certain extent to which this is a game in which the only winning move is not to play. You can spend a lot of time and effort attempting to persuade those who are not really willing to consider the issue rationally, but that's probably not the most efficient way to promote acceptance of ABDLism generally.
 

ApplePi

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I agree with Fruitkitty
 

ozbub

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Honestly, anyone with that opinion of others is probably far too ignorant to ever really develop any sense of understanding another's individual needs or desires....so entering an argument or trying to persuade a change of mind is most likely a futile endeavour.

OTH, acceptance, even empathy, is really somewhat dependant on degrees of experience, so it's quite reasonable that some will consider our behaviour distasteful.
 

KittyninjaW

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Honestly, anyone with that opinion of others is probably far too ignorant to ever really develop any sense of understanding another's individual needs or desires....so entering an argument or trying to persuade a change of mind is most likely a futile endeavour.

OTH, acceptance, even empathy, is really somewhat dependant on degrees of experience, so it's quite reasonable that some will consider our behaviour distasteful.

Aggreed, but you could at least try.
 
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Starrunner

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For me, I would really have to know the person before deciding how or if to respond. A lot of people don't know anything about the issue and their opinions can be formed based on what they hear in the media, and let's face it, we haven't really gotten great publicity.

I've come across a number of people in my time who made racist, sexist, or homophobic comments. Some of those people I expected it from so I didn't bother in engaging in a senseless debate. On the other hand, I've heard others who made similar comments which surprised me, knowing that overall they were reasonable people who normally did not judge other groups, and I felt they would be open to being given a differing perspective or opposing point of view, especially if it came from someone they knew and respected.

I agree that it can be a waste of time discussing these matters with close minded individuals, but sometimes hearing these comments can be an opportunity to educate, if the person is willing to hear it. People, values, and opinions can change over time, and although it's not always possible, I try to be hopeful in a person's capacity to learn and adapt.
 
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Sweetness

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To the people that think we are "creepy" I have to wonder if it is just an over reaction because they are hiding something within themselves. I think our natural reaction to even our own unique feelings or fetishes is to act the complete opposite way in fear of being "caught", at least until we come to terms with it. I just think it is a cover-up.
 

giantguy99

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Before I directly answer the question which is the main topic here I think I should mention something else that is directly relevant. You see words hold power that people don't always understand. anyone could if they learned how to inspire other's to do anything whether it's for good or ill in any given context. What I say to people usually involves me finding out what their motivation is when someone believes in things like that. In the specific case of AB/DL's (falsely) being pedophiles it's usually (not always) ignorance that's to blame. Depending on the circumstances I will only engage them in conversation if I see a possible benefit to other people who see that conversation. I can't change their mind but I can make it obvious to anyone else on the internet that the individual in question is most likely wrong and should not be taken seriously. Essentially I take away any perceived moral or ethical authority they thought they had in the eyes of other people who see their statements. Essentially if I think it's worth it I will take away their credibility usually if I can. Or do nothing like Fruitkitty said because it may or may not be worth it depending on circumstances. I'm fairly certain that my MO (method of operation) would show that if anyone where to read a file done on me as well as my faults at the same time.
 
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