What do you expect from a carer?

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Peachy

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The idea for this thread came to me after a private chat with one member here and also after some recent experience as a carer myself.

I put it into the "Adult Baby"-forum because this topic applies mostly to people who would be willing to actually meet a carer in person and spend some with with them, and that's obviously only older TBs or ABs (anyone over your local age of consent). Anyone else is free to reply too though.

Let'S assume that you and a person you trust very much have agreed to meet up face-to-face, and that the other person will be your carer in the AB/TB sense. The purpose of this thread is for everyone to describe their expectations and feelings about a meeting like that.

What kind of role should the carer play? Should the carer be controlling or dominant, or rather loving and gentle?
What would you want your carer to do? Which activities would you expect? Which activities would you avoid at all costs?
Maybe decribe your feelings, fears, nervousness. How would you set up a meeting like that?

Please keep things realistic. I.e. don't post your dreams or fantasies here about going to some AB carer who has everything - from cribs to any item of clothing imaginable (unless you actually know someone like that...yes, it happens). Think about getting together with someone who's not a professional in that field and may be as unfamiliar and nervous as you may be.
And we want to try to have a mature discussion here, so keep the sexual stuff or immature conversations to a minimum. I'd really appreciate if people took the time to think long and hard before posting and not just post one sentence along the lines of "I want them to change my diaper!". Be more elaborate! Oh, and this is not the place to post warnings about not meeting up with people IRL...I said "meeting with someone you trust very much", so that's covered already.

Peachy
 
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Secret

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When I get out of college I plan on getting into the AB/DL world, mostly as a caretaker.
But that is some years away, and I would probably meet them a couple of times at like a coffee shop or something before we even consider AB play. And even then we would probably have discussed our boundaries and what we expect from each other during the Ab time.

my 2 dollars
 

recovery

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Interesting topic, although "mommies and daddies" arn't really my thing. But I feel that it would be an enjoyable experience either way.

I would say I was in need of a more of a loving and gentle carer than a dominant one. Although, as babies your carer is in control. But they can't go and treat you like a dog and give you commands, I haver really seen any baby with that kind is discipline. But maybe there is a few people who do enjoy it. I had too many troubles in my own younger days, I just feel being loved improves my self esteem much more than the domination stuff.

So in live with the caring theme, all hugs around! snuggles, smiles, Eskimo kisses. Just general typical body language that shows that I'm cared about. Add a bit of physical contact. Then I might be in heaven. Well a little over statement, but I'd be grinning like I haven't grinned before.

Oh clothes, I guess its fully clothed typical indoor clothes of the 1990s. Sensible wear I guess. Makes me feel a little more homely. And to add to the the homely feel, of hwo things use to be when I was a kid, I would like to play with my toys, Yes, trains cars and K'Nex. I loved K'Nex. Lego... Pft :p


As for seeing my body naked. I wouldn't mind some "bath time" where we would play in the bath. Would add to the physical contact business as well as something that you typically have when you were a small toddler. then maybe, just maybe ;), put on a clean fresh diaper on me and dress me.

Then when the time is right, I might return the favour and swap places in wished too. We'll do a little planning before hand how things are going to work out. As there are those 'bonus' things you want to do that may be special to them. Such as I don't know, ensure they always have a pacci in their mouth?

I am no fan on baby talk, however, all talk would be kept simple and short. I never really was a big talker. And I don't like noise, it has to be quite too, otherwise it'll upset me. Infact, all stimuli must be controlled. Vision lights, sounds, touch, smells and taste etc..

I have no real intention of mixing such occasions TB/AB feelings with my DL feelings. It'll just put me off for an hour or so otherwise. Again, that'll upset me. I don't want that.

When I get out of college I plan on getting into the AB/DL world, mostly as a caretaker.
But that is some years away, and I would probably meet them a couple of times at like a coffee shop or something before we even consider AB play. And even then we would probably have discussed our boundaries and what we expect from each other during the Ab time.

my 2 dollars
Oh, and this is not the place to post warnings about not meeting up with people IRL...I said "meeting with someone you trust very much", so that's covered already.

Peachy
Nice to know people read posts carefully ;). But yeah. I think you missed the point. Don't worry. I had those days too.
 

Charlie

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Cuddles, cuddles and more cuddles!
For non-sexual AB play, for me it's all about being cute, and being loved.
The actual activities aren't too important, as long as I'm being cared for.
I guess being dressed up would be a major thing, as long as it was something cute. Obviously being put into a nappy.
I like the idea of being bathed too, although I think in practice it would be too weird.
Probably just being held would be a big thing.

I couldn't do with babytalk though.
I wouldn't like anything that I think of as sexual either, such as being dominated, or humiliated. So being made to do stuff, or being teased, or whatever... would be a turn-off because it would be a turn-on. :p

For me, what must come from being cared for is: a feeling of comfort, a feeling of being loved, a feeling of being cute and a higher self image (which comes from the others). So I guess I'd expect a carer to try to achieve that.

In that situation, I guess I'd be very nervous. I think that it would be very difficult to get into the AB frame of mind. I'd probably want to plan things beforehand, but then having things all planned out might make the experience less fun somehow.
And then of course there's worry about the carer, are they enjoying themselves? Unless you enjoy being a carer yourself, it's probably quite difficult to understand what they get out of the experience. I think that I could act as a carer and enjoy it, but I think I'd still worry.
I think to roleplay like this with somebody you would have to know that person very well, and especially what they like and don't like. The roleplay has to be a two way thing... which might be difficult since the nature of AB roleplay seems to be one person doing all the work and the other having everything done for them!
 

Target

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I'm not so interested in carer, it doesn't appeal me.

If I will have a carer, I want from her (not a guy) Love.
The word carer make me think to someone who love you, someone who want to protect you.
 

James

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For me it would be cuddles, and huggles, kisses etc.

Of course put into a diaper, just being taken care of, though I don't like humiliation or anything like that!
 
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daria7483

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I'd want someone who was mostly loving and gentle but also wasn't afraid to spank/scold if I acted out of line. Of course, I think it's important to communicate your feelings about this kind of thing in advance. If my caregiver tells me to pick up my toys and I stomp my feet and whine and pout, it's obvious I'm deliberately acting out, but what if I accidentally spill something at lunch? You have to make sure your caregiver knows what kind of reaction you want in that situation, or that you trust them enough to react appropriately and not seriously upset you.

My main source of nervousness going into a situation like that would be the vulnerability. I've actually had a "daddy" before, for a short time, and it's a very vulnerable situation. You can really get hurt if things don't work out. So I'd be nervous that this person wouldn't understand the emotional commitment I was making. Plus I'd also be nervous about allowing myself to be cared for in such an intimate way. The whole idea of being naked for changings and baths is so much scarier than being naked in a sexual relationship. It would take me awhile to get past that nervousness.
 
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I suppose the core of it for me would just to have someone there looking after me. I don't fully regress, I honestly couldn't do that, but someone who'll come along and change me, tuck me in at night or just cuddle me when I'm feeling a little down.

*shrugs*
 
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I think if I was in either the caregiver or the care recipient I would talk about it with the other person, or persons involved and come to an agreement on what would make everyone happy.
 

Chillhouse

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Not so much being cared for, but carring for someone else would be cool.
 
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I would love being cared by a future girlfriend or wife! I dont like the idea of meeting a stranger but maybe if you would talk to her/him on maybe msn acouple of times before you deicde a date to play so you get to know each other it could work.

What I would want is someone who would just hug me and hold me in her arms, thats mostly want I always wanted when it comes to Tbism, to be held in someones arms and having all my current problems fade away for a while. just cuddling all day long and all night long till you fall asleep looking at the person you loves face knowing nothing can hurt you.
 

Starchild

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For me its all about cuddles nuzzles hugs and snuggles, being made to feel secure loved and special, accepting that i also love my teddy and dragon so shouldt feel jealous if i hug them lots to! and i would like to know that my carer/mummy actually felt that love rather than just say it to make me feel happy, and i would like them to know that i love them as much as they loved me!
 

DLGrif

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More than anything, I expect my caretaker to always be there for me, to always want to protect and love me anytime I'm upset. It's a lot to ask for, as it essentially means I'd be their baby in a very real way, and everyone knows THOSE are a great burden. Diapers, regression, thumbsucking, helplessness...all these things are second to the desire to be comforted at a moment's notice.

Edit: It is worth emphasizing that the point is being dependent on the carer for comfort. Ideally it would be very difficult to calm down on my own, and only after a long time, just like a real baby. Love and attention is something I had been sadly lacking in my childhood (my parents loved me in short, inconsistent bursts, and I played by myself all other times.)
 
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Error404

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To be strict and loving. I am very stubborn and as a child I always fought hard for my independence, so a carer really has to be able to put me in my place, followed by lots of love and fuss so I know that, although I have to obey orders, that when I do, said carer loves me very much and I am awarded for such.

If I am to be disciplined, then a thorough spanking or something creative usually works wonders, as long as the disciplinee offers love and care after I've calmed down.
 

Crassi

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I've always been more of a carer guy. Seriously. I perform parkour, I write, I'm even modeling to a certain degree. It's against everything I've built up to act like a baby. So, I would be a carer, that's for certain. Even though I wouldn't mind being cared for sometime, but not all the time. I'm a strange guy, yeah. And only girls, I feel certain awkwardness with guys in these matters.
 

Kraiden

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When I / Should I ever meet up with a carer, in all honesty, I'd rather it not be strictly for the carer side of things. I'd have to be meeting up with a friend first, and a carer second.

Still, when stuff eventually would progress to the carer side of things, well, there's a lot of things that would be nice, but others I'd hate.

I'd love to just be curled up and cuddled on their lap, kissed, hugged, snuggled etc... Watch TV together, and just plain get cared for. Get tucked into bed of a night, have a story read to me, even sleep next to them.

As for what I'd hate, well.. discipline for one thing. not that there would ever be a need for it. Diaper changes wouldn't be too bad, but nothing involving #2's. being fed food wouldn't be nice either, I think, but a bottle would be fine.

Just basically the cuddly side of things.
 

Maverick

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Peachy said:
What kind of role should the carer play? Should the carer be controlling or dominant, or rather loving and gentle?
What would you want your carer to do? Which activities would you expect? Which activities would you avoid at all costs?
Maybe decribe your feelings, fears, nervousness. How would you set up a meeting like that?
First off, I wouldn't want my carer to feel obligated to baby me; I'd want them to want to do it. I'd much rather prefer a female carer than a male one. And I'd like her to be really loving and affectionate. But she should discipline me when its necessary (I think I'd be a good baby, though =P). I guess I'd just like her to treat me and love me as though I was her baby boy.

And I know I'd be super-nervous before the meeting. I'm already very shy around people and I'd be afraid I'd be awkward or stupid around her. I'm not sure if I'd be able to be a baby well. Yeah, I'd be sweating it out huge before the meeting.
 
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gamebaby

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Well i would think of a carrer as a job that works for you and you will stick with it till you retire.
 

snydead

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I would really like a carer but I'm not sure where to find one. I would like one that gives alot of care, attension, and gentle. I always need someone to hug.
 

Maverick

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I would really like a carer but I'm not sure where to find one. I would like one that gives alot of care, attension, and gentle. I always need someone to hug.
You can like pay "professional mommies" to baby you for a day. I would never do something like that, though. I'd much rather prefer finding a really close friend or girlfriend and hopefully they'd like to baby me occasionally. ^_^
 
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