What are your thoughts on....no sex?

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dpr_fox

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We've heard thoughts on sex, anal sex, oral sex, how about no sex?

Abstaining, Celibacy, or just not caring for the act itself, however you want to state it.

What are your thoughts on choosing not to have sex (regardless of the status of one's virginity), whether it be for moral, religious, or personal reasons?

Discuss.
 

Darkfinn

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I like sex. I'm not the hopelessly addicted "gotta have it every day" type... but a few times a month is nice.

As far as folks who abstain from it... there are other ways of getting off... so I suppose it's not a total loss. It does fulfill the basic need for pleasure.

If I remember correctly... humans and dolphins are the only animals who have sex for pleasure and not reproduction.

Those of you on here who say that you want to go through life alone and never having sex are still pretty young. I say don't count yourself out yet. You can be single... not looking... and happy. But having a partner really fills a void in your life that you may not even know you had.
 

Footed P.J.

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Not for everybody. I need my alone time. I'm 32 and have never married. I like my alone time too much, and frankly, I feel a little overexposed to sex, so it's nice to focus on other things.
 

Dawes

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I don't feel obligated to take part in sexual activity, either.

I have had sex before and have encountered some odd sexual situations, but when it comes to having no sex, I'm perfectly okay with that, too. It is my belief that, nowadays, sexual relations are focused on a lot more in relationships than they might have been some time before. People are open with their sexuality, which makes sexuality a very large part of much of our life.

Personally, I'm totally fine with not having it -- I prefer a good conversation and a fun time with a friendly person as opposed to a night of heated passion and sexual activity.
 

Charlie

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A lot of things turn me on, but the thought of the actual act of having sex doesn't really do much for me. Sex doesn't turn me off or anything, I just don't find it that appealing.

So I think that I could live quite happily not having sex, it's not that important to me. But realistically I'll probably have it because my partner will probably want to.

Although how I feel might change, I used to find sex completely neutral and not find it sexual in anyway. But nowadays I do find something sexual about sex, but it's way down the list of turn ons.
 

quattrus

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More than "choosing not to have sex", in my case i'd call it "not choosing to have sex". :biggrin:

What I mean is that I've never experienced that kind of overwhelming urge that pushes guys to find a hole preferrably with a human being around it to satisfy their "sexual needs". I'm not against sex, it's one of the various ways people can relate to each other, and probably it can be a good experience too since many people talk so enthusiastically about it, but what I honestly find completely unappealing is when it's done on a merely physical impulse.

With the right person, and at the right moment, I'm certainly not going to say no, but I'm very picky in fact of soulmates and I usually have more appealing things to do than going in search of one. Also having a partner who doesn't give a damn about sex would be quite nice. I'd possibly give it a try at some point, just to see what it's like, but certainly I don't want my sentimental relationship with someone to be based on sex.

Otherwise, if it's only plain sex, "just for fun" like someone says, then no thanks!

(as obviously shows, I'm not planning to have children, since in that case sex would be quite a... ehm... mandatory thing! :biggrin:)
 

ShippoFox

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I used to consider myself kinda asexual, but not anymore.

Love is much more important to me than sex. I don't want a relationship that's based solely on sex. I'd prefer if the sex itself was nothing but a side benefit to love. Sex sounds like it's probably a lot of fun, but I don't want to do it with just anyone. It has to be a girlfriend or someone I'll have already married. (depending on if we can, and if she wants to, wait. I'd probably be okay with waiting) So.... no prostitutes and no one night stands for me.

But.... I have to at least find a girlfriend before it will even matter.

I also think some people are too obsessed with sex. Love should be more important than sex, but whatever. They can do what they want.
 

Squigma

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Well there are two different ways you can not have sex.

You can just... not have sex. Because you don't really like it, or just don't care for it that much. This is fine in my opinion. Personally, I don't care too much for normal sex. I mean, oral and anal I'd love to try, but normal sex seems kinda boring. So I might not have sex, but I'm not saying I won't.

Or you can choose not to have sex. This, I think, is just plain silly. Because if you actually decide you're never going to have sex, that usually means you really do care about it. And if you have the urge to have sex, why deny it? It's part of you... there's nothing wrong with it, it's an important part of being human. So why deny it? It seems... crazy!
 
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I apologize in advance, but I must respond to this thread in this way.

DO NOT... NOT WANT!
 

Target

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In my case, is not a choose of mine, girls choosen to don't have sex with me.:tongueout:

I think sex without love is "empty", so i'll wait for love before sex.
 

tedster

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In the words of Catherine Tate, 'I ain't bothered'.

But seriously - sex doesn't interest me in the slightest if I'm honest. Like Charlie said, it doesn't turn me off per se, it just doesn't do anything for me. I'm already neigh on 24 and I'm still a virgin and it doesn't bother me. It used to. I used to think that I was a royal weirdo for not feeling the same mad horny feelings towards girls (or boys) like my friends did at school, but once I got to uni I just kinda gradually accepted it as that was how I was going to be. Now I'm pretty much fine with it - it's how I am and that's it.

I do highly doubt that I will be having sex, of any kind in the near future - which to some people I imagine would be a cross between madness and pure hell, but I'm not fussed one iota really.

Maybe if/when I meet Mrs/Mr Right my feelings might chance - I don't know.
 

starshine

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I choose not to have sex until marriage. I have to say, the thought of sex does intimidate me a little. Knowing a guy will be that close - that intimate with me.

My mom always tells me that sex is nothing, that making love is what is important. So, not just including the penis and a vagina, but passion, kissing, holding, and truly enjoying the person you are with.
 
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xdeadx

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Yey Thumbs up =D

Don't want, but hey. That day may come when I have to or need to
 

Corri

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If I remember correctly... humans and dolphins are the only animals who have sex for pleasure and not reproduction.
Bonobo monkeys as well.


Well, personally
I find sex... boring..
Its not worth the 15 minutes it takes to get to the only part I enjoy...
Yes I do masturbate on occasion... but even then.....
Its just bleh...
 
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daria7483

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Sex is something where when I have it, I don't want it, when I don't have it, I want it. I would certainly like the option, in a relationship, of choosing not to have sex without their being hard feelings or the guy taking it personally. The thing I don't like about sex is it seems like once you start having it with a particular person, it's expected, and you can't just cuddle in bed together or kiss without him eventually trying to turn it into sex. Or at least that's how I felt in my last couple of relationships.

But, now I'm dating someone and we're not having sex, haven't really discussed it yet, and I'm really wanting to have it, of course. And I imagine we'll get to that part eventually if we continue to date, but in a way I'm dreading it because as I said once you start it it seems like there's this expectation to keep it going.

It's interesting for me to hear guys on this board saying they don't want to have sex, or they can take it or leave it, because I've always assumed every guy on the planet is just dying to get laid, and girls are the more indifferent gender. Maybe it's just something about the guys I've dated. That is kind of a relief.

But here's a question: for those of you who would have or have had premarital sex, but don't enjoy it that much, would you tell your next girlfriend you didn't want to have sex, or didn't want to have it very often? Or would you just have it whenever she seemed to want it because it's expected?
 
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I've managed it so far (not necessarily by choice though lol)

If you want to remain celibate, go ahead, you're not hurting me :p

If you try and force me to become celibate, I'll punch you right in the organ you don't use.


Love is much more important to me than sex. I don't want a relationship that's based solely on sex. I'd prefer if the sex itself was nothing but a side benefit to love. Sex sounds like it's probably a lot of fun, but I don't want to do it with just anyone. It has to be a girlfriend or someone I'll have already married. (depending on if we can, and if she wants to, wait. I'd probably be okay with waiting) So.... no prostitutes and no one night stands for me.

Love should be more important than sex
Also this. That's pretty much me as well.
 
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Or you can choose not to have sex. This, I think, is just plain silly. Because if you actually decide you're never going to have sex, that usually means you really do care about it. And if you have the urge to have sex, why deny it? It's part of you... there's nothing wrong with it, it's an important part of being human. So why deny it? It seems... crazy!
I totally agree, anyone says "I will not have sex ever, even if it is offered or wanted by my partner." I would tell that person thats its not just crazy but they need to go to psychologist and reevaluate their moral values and what has caused those values. Doing this by of course getting some professional help.

The thing I don't like about sex is it seems like once you start having it with a particular person, it's expected, and you can't just cuddle in bed together or kiss without him eventually trying to turn it into sex. Or at least that's how I felt in my last couple of relationships.

But, now I'm dating someone and we're not having sex, haven't really discussed it yet, and I'm really wanting to have it, of course. And I imagine we'll get to that part eventually if we continue to date, but in a way I'm dreading it because as I said once you start it it seems like there's this expectation to keep it going.

It's interesting for me to hear guys on this board saying they don't want to have sex, or they can take it or leave it, because I've always assumed every guy on the planet is just dying to get laid, and girls are the more indifferent gender. Maybe it's just something about the guys I've dated. That is kind of a relief.

But here's a question: for those of you who would have or have had premarital sex, but don't enjoy it that much, would you tell your next girlfriend you didn't want to have sex, or didn't want to have it very often? Or would you just have it whenever she seemed to want it because it's expected?
First of all...
AVERY!!! PEACHY!!! AND EVERYONE (check my Aholes and Biznitches thread in regulars forum to understand this) THIS IS THE KIND OF F*** SHIZ I AM TALKING ABOUT!!! AAAAAHHHHHH!!! :rofl:

No offense daira, I know its not your fault. It is because I would say about 70-80% of guys in America are complete Aholes with no passion, and a lot of them lack respect for women and some of them abuse them in many ways. Women have come a custome to this to the point that they think this is all there is which is why I think it could possible explain them not leaving sometimes. So its caused girls to have no f**king clue how to hod a healthy relationship on a intiment level and making them lack a lot of common sense n that area. SEE! Everyone I knew it was a matter of time before the evidence of this showed up.

To Daria, please do not take offense to any of that, I blame it 90% of it on all the Aholes of the world. Well I must say not all guys are like this. Just like you said it is just you because your picking out the wrong guys obviously.

As to answer your qeustion daria I have had premartial sex and I DO enjoy it BUT I defiantly would not want to have it every day, except a good amount I would enjoy would be 1-3 times a week, depending on the week. That is just me. But that has nothing to do with my intimacy. I am not like most guys, I actually enjoy kissing, foreplay, and cuddling. Why wouldn't I a am a dl and partial ab it would only make sense for me to like that stuff. Plus I do not like head at all! Also I am also the kind of guy if my gf said she wasn't in the mood for sex that day I would be totally fine with it, as long as we didn't go longer than a week. So I see myself as like the perfect bf (because i treat them with respect, plus i rarely argue cause i am a passive guy, i allows love talking to them about mine and their problems when needed cause I am very sensitive for a guy, plus I like to cuddle and hate head, plus so much more that most girls would love) with pretty decent looks, which is why to this day I do not understand how I have been over looked and shat on countless times. I wish someone could answer that for me, so maybe my eternal lonliness (thus far) could finally come to an end.
 
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No sex? Hmph!

Do I personally choose from abstaining form sex? Nope.
Do I actively seek out sex? Nope.

I'm somewhere in the grey region between the two. Right now, I'm very content to sit back and wait it out. It'll happen when it happens.

The first question, I don't force myself into chastity. I feel I'm ready for it, albeit a little nervous (but who isn't?). And I really don't see myself as the type who "is waiting for the right person". Which is rather conflicting as I certainly wouldn't do it with just anyone. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm selective about it, but not to the point where there is one single person who I wish to do it with. In fact, I've come across quite a few people before who I've felt I could be with sexually. It's like a set of standards or prerequisites, where failing a criteria rules you out of the running. Not that they are very hard to accomplish. >_<

And the second question... actively seeking out sex? Not for me. I've been told that I come across as "coming onto" people, but I can assure anyone that that is simply my way of speaking and I have absolutely no sexual undertone whatsoever. I honestly don't have a reason why I don't actively seek out sex, but I figure it's more to do with having a slight non-interest in it. It's not high on my "priority list", so to speak. Right now, since I'm definitely not planning on starting a relationship, I don't want any emotional attachments that could arise during and after having sex with someone. So the best way to avoid that is to just not worry about it and not seek it out.
 
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daria7483

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No offense daira, I know its not your fault. It is because I would say about 70-80% of guys in America are complete Aholes with no passion, and a lot of them lack respect for women and some of them abuse them in many ways. Women have come a custome to this to the point that they think this is all there is which is why I think it could possible explain them not leaving sometimes. So its caused girls to have no f**king clue how to hod a healthy relationship on a intiment level and making them lack a lot of common sense n that area. SEE! Everyone I knew it was a matter of time before the evidence of this showed up.

To Daria, please do not take offense to any of that, I blame it 90% of it on all the Aholes of the world. Well I must say not all guys are like this. Just like you said it is just you because your picking out the wrong guys obviously.
Well...in defense of my ex's (not that they deserve to be defended), I don't think it's that they're assholes when it comes to sex. I think they liked sex more than I did, and I believed, because of all the examples we see in books and movies and everywhere else of how sex is supposed to be so great, that I was abnormal if I wasn't that into it, so I had to pretend like I was into it. So I blame pop culture more than I blame them. Reading all this has made me feel a lot better. And I think in my next relationship it would be best to be up front about all this as soon as the topic of sex comes up rather than waiting until we've had sex already and I feel like the pressure is on to continue. Like you said, Eclipse, I enjoy sex, I just don't want to have it every night or feel like every time I cuddle or kiss the guy it has to lead to something more.
 
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Well...in defense of my ex's (not that they deserve to be defended), I don't think it's that they're assholes when it comes to sex. I think they liked sex more than I did, and I believed, because of all the examples we see in books and movies and everywhere else of how sex is supposed to be so great, that I was abnormal if I wasn't that into it, so I had to pretend like I was into it. So I blame pop culture more than I blame them. Reading all this has made me feel a lot better. And I think in my next relationship it would be best to be up front about all this as soon as the topic of sex comes up rather than waiting until we've had sex already and I feel like the pressure is on to continue. Like you said, Eclipse, I enjoy sex, I just don't want to have it every night or feel like every time I cuddle or kiss the guy it has to lead to something more.
No offense again haha, but why is it you girls always defend the Aholes? Have they really made their partners believe they are good people? I always here "well he is a really good guy deep down, you just got to get to know him." I have heard that said after a girl got beat up by him. It seems girls are always trying to give Aholes another chance, thus why they will never change. Even though the girls is always trying to change him, what are they wasting their time for? Well I dunno but I don't care too much anymore either, let them be have a million ex bfs and husbands and a single mother who still does not know how to hold a healthy relationship or not even find a good guy.
Also I would say pop culture is to blame partially but its a small part of it. Pus that does not nearly give them, girls or guys, to act the way they do.

People today are SOOOO IMMMATURE, girls and guys, including adults beyond 21.
 
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