What am I

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baby_mike

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After so many years of not knowing what I am in life...it finaly came to me. I am always wantting to put on girl thing. At night I like to put girl cloths on and wear makeup. I have told one person..a girl. She asked me to put her makeup and said I could do makeup better than anyone she knows. Plus I am always thinking like a girl.

In the near futer I would like to get a sex change.
But I fear what my mom might say when I do tell her.


What do you think?...
 

Sawaa

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So...you're transgendered? I can appreciate that, as you can imagine.

I guess there's not too much advice I can give about transition; because everybody handles it differently; but you're old enough to see a doctor on your own without your Mom there to get at least some level of counseling, or a referral to a specialist.

Essentially what you're looking for is a diagnosis of GID, so that you can legally begin to take hormones and transition. If you think your Mom won't understand, then perhaps it may be best to get the diagnosis first and then bring her to see your doctor/therapist and explain it in that kind of neutral and open setting. This gives you an extra bit of 'reinforcement', in the form of your doctor.

What you should expect beyond that is all about your circumstances and your environment; ideally you'll begin your transition and you'll start out looking..at best..androgynous, and you'll have to start living fulltime as a girl to prove your commitment to the transition. Your doctor will likely prescribe you a regime of HRT backed by a testosterone blocker like spiro, which will begin to change you over the course of your lifestyle trial. During this time, you'll learn how to talk as a girl, and how to carry yourself - it's so important to immerse yourself in feminine things at this point, lots of female friends that you see just as friends, to make sure you have the best possible chance in the world of women. And also to give you a grounding to the new ways in which you'll find yourself dealing with your changing thought patterns.

Your body will change a lot on it's own; usually you'll end out with really nice skin and fuller hair on your head (it even greatly reverses male-pattern-baldness) and thinning of most of your body hair. You'll have to lose a lot of weight to remove it from the "Male Allocation Areas", and then put it back on to build your curves in the new areas that your body will store it due to your HRT. You'll probably get a really nice bubble-bum, and definitely expect breast-growth to about 1-2 cups below what the average cup size in your familys female members is. For example, if your Mum is a C cup, and your sister is a B, but your aunt is a D, you might end up around a B cup. So you may want to consider augmentation, like I did; but again, you may be happy with completely hormonal breasts.

Once your body looks and feels like a girl, there's only the final step to take - the genital SRS surgery; which I'm yet to undertake. You'll need at least two years fulltime as a woman for most doctors to give you the referral that you need, but beyond that..once you're done saving up for it, it's just a matter of finding a surgeon to do it - weather that means heading to asia, or to mid-west America, or even France (all are renowned for particular sex-change-surgeons).

In the intervening time, there are downsides - I liked to call my hormone pills "Pouty Pills" for some time, because I'd a cry alot XD Over the silliest things, too! And my breasts would really ACHE when growing in, and I'm pretty much infertile and mostly impotent now (though I can get it 'hard' if I *really* try), so you may want to consider banking sperm before you start the process. Other than that, I'm happier then I've ever been; and Sawaa is the only person thats inside my head now :3
 

baby_mike

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Boy was I so wrong, I did so googleing and after find out that it can't be undone, i'd rather stay a male. I have my whle like ahead of me. I am only trying to find my place in life. I think everyone goes though this kind of thing.
 

Sawaa

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Well...of course it's not able to be undone - it's pretty major stuff :3 But if it's the way you feel; you gotta run with it.
 

baby_mike

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Well...of course it's not able to be undone - it's pretty major stuff :3 But if it's the way you feel; you gotta run with it.
Yeah..Well lately I feel as if I don't know who I am..Do you catch my drift. I feel lost. I know I have a place in life I just haven't found it. I thought it was wit my last girl friend but things didn't work out and we split up, I just feel so incomplete with out someone to stand by. I am not use to being single. Maybe thats why I am searching for who I really am.
 
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Ayerea

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Pretty much. As Sawaa, i'm here to assist you. I'm quite knowledgeable about it all. And i would love to help someone going through the same struggle along. =]
 
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FullMetal

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Boy was I so wrong, I did so googleing and after find out that it can't be undone, i'd rather stay a male. I have my whle like ahead of me. I am only trying to find my place in life. I think everyone goes though this kind of thing.
Exactly, be COMPLETELY and 100% sure you want to do something like that. And I suggest you make a decision like that when you are older, so you know what can really be affected by the change and what not. You do not want to wake up one morning and go "Oh shit!" and then have to live in regret. I do not believe what Sawaa said when she stated to go with what you feel because you are still very young and it might not be what you feel in a week, or even in a year.

Right now you are scattered and things may look better one way but if you are doing this because you are under stress or something else is pushing it on you, just wait until you are 1 billion percent sure. I am not saying this because I do not like transgenders or anything like that, I feel like this is like any other big decision in life, and you have to just be sure before you go into it.

FullMetal
 

baby_mike

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I don't know I have being thing about this all day. I can feel the girlish side in me, but than I know I want to be a dad some day. I am just so confused
 
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I don't know I have being thing about this all day. I can feel the girlish side in me, but than I know I want to be a dad some day. I am just so confused
Hmmm you do sound really confused. I will say that Sawaa gave some really good advice, and so did Fullmetal. I would say your at the point where you should go see a certified therapist for this kind of stuff so it will help point you in the direction that you really want, then you can go from there. Just like Fullmetal said, be VERY sure and thinkg VERY hard about this before you make this decision, if you do this it will either be the best decision of your life or the worst.
Obviously there are still a lot of things you like about being male, so in my opinion I would say you should stay male if you can see yourself living a happy life as male.
Actually the new south park episode that came out this week was about the teacher, I forget his name now, wanting to back to being male and how he made a big mistake, and he was all upset cause he was told he can not go back. Trust me you do not want to regret it, that would be a nightmare.
 

Nam Repaid

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Maybe the clothes and make up are enough, there is a huge transvestite community out there. You could play whatever role you felt like in a given day and it’s not permanent.

Nam.
 

baby_mike

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Maybe the clothes and make up are enough, there is a huge transvestite community out there. You could play whatever role you felt like in a given day and it’s not permanent.

Nam.
do you know any
 

Nam Repaid

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When I was in my teens I thought I was. Turned out my obsession with girls clothing had more to do with the girl that wore them. I do know a DJ at a local bar who crossdresses but not well. I did visit some of the local TV specialty stores back then. It was there was that I realized I didn’t want to be a “pretty Girl” and attract men but liked the clothes that reminded me of the girls I lusted after.
I don’t think that in your teen years you should make a permanent change. I’m 48, been, done & seen a lot and still open-minded. I’d recommend doing more research & enjoy what you’re doing now with out making a permanent change.

Nam
 

baby_mike

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Maybe the clothes and make up are enough, there is a huge transvestite community out there. You could play whatever role you felt like in a given day and it’s not permanent.

Nam.
I think I will just cross-dress. I wait till I get older to make a choice on getting a sex change
 

Nam Repaid

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I think I will just cross-dress. I wait till I get older to make a choice on getting a sex change
A sensible decision, and thanks for the positive feedback on my comments.

I wish you well in your quest to find yourself in this confusing world, it’s worth the pain & effort.

Nam
 

Pojo

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I kind of know what you mean...Sometimes I feel confused as to what I am...I wish I was a girl...But I don't want to be a trans...I don't have a problem with transvestites, but I don't want to go through the stress and pressure of it...I seriously don't know what to do though
 

baby_mike

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Thanks everyone, I am so glad I have this site for support.

I still can't ...well idk. I still feel as if i NEED to get a sex change. I feel like a girl. I have friends that tell me I act girlish sometime. I don't feel like a man.
 
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If you don't wana get a sex change, work out, muscley girls are a turn off at least for me....
 

dogboy

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If you prefer dating girls over guys I wouldn't think you would want to turn yourself into a girl. It didn't work well for Mr. Garrison on Southpark. You also said that you thought you might want to be a father some day. When I went to college, a music conservatory, I had a four year thing with my roommate. We were both young looking for our age. The school itself had a 50% gay population. I did my thing and did it well, but I to wanted to have a more normal life and be a father. O.K., reasonably normal, but I did marry, and had three kids. You have your whole life ahead of you. You are going to grow and mature, and a lot of things are going to sort themselves out. Give yourself a chance and try new experiences within reason of course. Exercise some caution because of AIDs and hepotitus. Discover who you are and be comfortable with that person. This site proves that there are a lot of people who will accept you for who you are. I wish you the best. You can always PM me. Believe me, I've been around the block.
 
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Actually the new south park episode that came out this week was about the teacher, I forget his name now, wanting to back to being male and how he made a big mistake, and he was all upset cause he was told he can not go back. Trust me you do not want to regret it, that would be a nightmare.
It didn't work well for Mr. Garrison on Southpark.
Just curious but did you read the entire thread?
 
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