Well... THAT was awkward!

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gnd567

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Wow! Awkward may not even be a good enough word to describe what just happened to me...

As some of you may know, I still live at home due to a combination of my disability and my financial situation. You may also know that my dad found my diapers and told my mom and sister about them as well.

Well with that in mind....


Earlier today as I come out of the shower, I head to my bedroom and find my mom in there looking all around for something. I said "Whatcha lookin for?" She responds with "Where are they?" I go "Where are what?" She says "Diapers. Where are they?" I said "No. You're not taking my diapers. I bought them. I know you don't like them but..." she cuts me off with "I need them for your grandfather! He's fallen and broken his hip and can't get out of bed. I'm going there now and I need some diapers for him." Dumbfounded I say "I can't." Immediately she gets angry- "You won't even help your grandfather out? I cannot believe you! Why not? Are you that cheap?" I said "No, it's because they're not regular adult diapers, they're special." Not knowing what I meant by that she said "Bullshit" and continued snooping, getting angry and calling me a freak and saying I could at least help him. So I grabbed one and put in her face (it was an ABU LittlePaws) and said "See? This is why I didn't want you to see them!" She left and has ben gone a couple of hours. I don't know what to do. That was the most bizarre morning I've ever had. Just had to share. I'm still kinda shaking because I know there will be another interesting conversation later tonight.... Not looking forward to that.
 

Slomo

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Yeah your mom went WAY over the line by going through your things. At the very least she should have asked you for one or two.

However, I have to say you over reacted and went out of line too. Sure your diapers are special, but you grandfather just broke his hip! When something like that happens do you really think he is going to care what they look like? As long as they work long enough for him to get some of his own, then so what id they are little paws diapers!

You both have some apologizing to do.
 

gnd567

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Yeah your mom went WAY over the line by going through your things. At the very least she should have asked you for one or two.

However, I have to say you over reacted and went out of line too. Sure your diapers are special, but you grandfather just broke his hip! When something like that happens do you really think he is going to care what they look like? As long as they work long enough for him to get some of his own, then so what id they are little paws diapers!

You both have some apologizing to do.

I see your point and had they been non-AB themed diapers, I would have had no problem giving her a couple and maybe and if I would have time to process the information a little bit first I still would have. Its just that its bad enough they know I like diapers, now they know what they look like and they are definitely not just for medical use but if I gave her the diapers, my whole family would know! Also, I know he's already embarrassed and upset about the fact that he's going to be wearing diapers that I don't think babyish-themed diapers would make him very happy at all.
 
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Maxx

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I see your point and had they been non-AB themed diapers, I would have had no problem giving her a couple and maybe and if I would have time to process the information a little bit first I still would have. Its just that its bad enough they know I like diapers, now they know what they look like and they are definitely not just for medical use but if I gave her the diapers, my whole family would know! Also, I know he's already embarrassed and upset about the fact that he's going to be wearing diapers that I don't think babyish-themed diapers would make him very happy at all.

As you said. Awkward. I don't know that there was any good way to handle it.

You can sort of understand your mom's state of mind with grandpa in dire straits, and sort of understand her going for the immediately available source of diapers rather than thinking through other options, but still awkward.

Positive vibes sent to your grandpa +~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P.S. Given his level of discomfort and/or drug induced stupor, I'm not sure he'd notice or care what the diapers look like.
 

gnd567

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As you said. Awkward. I don't know that there was any good way to handle it.

You can sort of understand your mom's state of mind with grandpa in dire straits, and sort of understand her going for the immediately available source of diapers rather than thinking through other options, but still awkward.

Positive vibes sent to your grandpa +~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P.S. Given his level of discomfort and/or drug induced stupor, I'm not sure he'd notice or care what the diapers look like.

Thanks. I do see how she was sorta thinking but at the time it freaked me out. I have BPD and ted to overreact sometimes but again it would've been a little different if the diapers were something plain like an Abena or something. I don't want everyone in the entire family to know about the diaper thing, especially the kind that I like. And I know my grandpa, no matter how drugged he may or may not be right now, he would flip the hell out if they tried to put him in an ABU LittlePawz. Though in truth, they're probably way better than the ones they got him I don't know what to do. When she gets home I'll try to smooth things over. Wish me luck
 

Marting

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Good luck! Bizar and tricky situation. Hope your grandad is ok. Maybe tell your mum you could order some for him? Might be a nice way to build bridges of acceptance?
 

gnd567

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Good luck! Bizar and tricky situation. Hope your grandad is ok. Maybe tell your mum you could order some for him? Might be a nice way to build bridges of acceptance?
Maybe. I can't even afford any more for myself at the moment though.
 

goten

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Slomo said:
Yeah your mom went WAY over the line by going through your things.

Up until the day I finally left home, I never had one ounce of privacy. Never allowed to lock my door, never a knock before entering my room, constantly going through all my things to the point of taking out furniture drawers and dumping out my backpack trying to find hidden things. And this from someone that never used drugs, never drank alcohol, never smoked, never hid porn, never stole things, nothing.

It really messed me up inside to have absolutely no privacy. I completely shut myself off and hid everything inside my head. I can't stress how important privacy is to a developing child/teenager. If any of you are or will be parents, please don't ever do this to your child without cause.

Slomo said:
However, I have to say you over reacted and went out of line too. Sure your diapers are special, but you grandfather just broke his hip! When something like that happens do you really think he is going to care what they look like?

I disagree. It would force the fetish discussion onto his grandpa. Further, he's probably already feeling undignified enough in now suddenly needing them, throwing baby-like diapers at him could make his shame many times worse.

There's no real inconvenience to simply going to CVS and picking up some normal briefs. They may not be the best quality, but then he probably won't want to be wearing for extended periods without changes anyway. They're the same diapers everyone in nursing homes and hospitals get.
 

icklespace

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Yeah your mom went WAY over the line by going through your things. At the very least she should have asked you for one or two.

However, I have to say you over reacted and went out of line too. Sure your diapers are special, but you grandfather just broke his hip! When something like that happens do you really think he is going to care what they look like? As long as they work long enough for him to get some of his own, then so what id they are little paws diapers!

You both have some apologizing to do.
I get what you saying but try to imagine your a somewhat old man in a little paws
 

Trevor

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I get what you saying but try to imagine your a somewhat old man in a little paws

Been there, done that. It's not ideal but depending on need, practicality tends to win out. Any diaper is going to be unappealing to the average person. What it looks like is probably going to be relatively small potatoes.
 

gnd567

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Been there, done that. It's not ideal but depending on need, practicality tends to win out. Any diaper is going to be unappealing to the average person. What it looks like is probably going to be relatively small potatoes.
True. Maybe I should've given her some but she was quite surprised to see what they looked like as well so she probably no longer wanted them and went to the drug store. I didn't know what to do.
 

quattrus

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I have to say, for how uneasy that moment might have been, you handled it pretty amazingly! Firm and straight to the point. Your mom had no right to go through your things like that, she may have disregarded or not understood the fact that for you it's a different matter than diapers would be for just anybody who wears them out of need, but she should have acknowledged that they're something very private for you and, if anything, asked for your help or advice in a much more considerate way.

I totally agree with you and the people who say that it would have been inappropriate and awkward to use a diaper like a LittlePawz on an elderly person. The issue is not practicality here, rather that it would have very likely raised questions and, if the fact it came from you was revealed (it is *visibly* not just any random diaper that you can find in stores...), it would have led to even more unnecessary awkwardness. Stopping by a pharmacy on her way to your grandpa's place and grabbing a pack of regular diapers was the most logical way to go, which I assume your mom did when she realized what you meant by your diapers being "special".

So, were the topic to come up again, you could offer your help while politely, but firmly, explaining to your mom that what she did, however aimed to help your grandfather, could have been carried out with a little more tact towards you. Although I think she realized it on her own by now.
 

gnd567

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I have to say, for how uneasy that moment might have been, you handled it pretty amazingly! Firm and straight to the point. Your mom had no right to go through your things like that, she may have disregarded or not understood the fact that for you it's a different matter than diapers would be for just anybody who wears them out of need, but she should have acknowledged that they're something very private for you and, if anything, asked for your help or advice in a much more considerate way.

I totally agree with you and the people who say that it would have been inappropriate and awkward to use a diaper like a LittlePawz on an elderly person. The issue is not practicality here, rather that it would have very likely raised questions and, if the fact it came from you was revealed (it is *visibly* not just any random diaper that you can find in stores...), it would have led to even more unnecessary awkwardness. Stopping by a pharmacy on her way to your grandpa's place and grabbing a pack of regular diapers was the most logical way to go, which I assume your mom did when she realized what you meant by your diapers being "special".

So, were the topic to come up again, you could offer your help while politely, but firmly, explaining to your mom that what she did, however aimed to help your grandfather, could have been carried out with a little more tact towards you. Although I think she realized it on her own by now.

I hope so. I just didn't know what else to do but show her why I didn't want to give them to her. I still feel a bit weirded out though.
 

AddyShadows

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I'm probably going to make myself look like an ass here but.

I wouldn't hand over actual ab/dl diapers, they're expensive as fuck. If someone needs diapers that badly most grocery stores have a pack of 10 for like $15. AB/DL diapers are not really for what she wanted to use them for. I understand that he may have broke his hip and needed some kind of protection but using someone's $40+ diapers that they paid for (Atleast im assuming you paid that much since they were ABU little paws) without asking is kinda not right. And it's kinda not right to just take them regardless of the scenario, I personally think your mother was a bit selfish since she couldn't be bothered to spend the $15 to just get regular diapers for him. AB/DL diapers are not really meant for medical use in the way she wanted to use them.
 

gnd567

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I'm probably going to make myself look like an ass here but.

I wouldn't hand over actual ab/dl diapers, they're expensive as fuck. If someone needs diapers that badly most grocery stores have a pack of 10 for like $15. AB/DL diapers are not really for what she wanted to use them for. I understand that he may have broke his hip and needed some kind of protection but using someone's $40+ diapers that they paid for (Atleast im assuming you paid that much since they were ABU little paws) without asking is kinda not right. And it's kinda not right to just take them regardless of the scenario, I personally think your mother was a bit selfish since she couldn't be bothered to spend the $15 to just get regular diapers for him. AB/DL diapers are not really meant for medical use in the way she wanted to use them.

Thank you! This is how I feel too. I feel bad for him, I know he needs them, but as you said they are expensive and it takes me a good while to save up for them. That and they are not for medical use in the first place.
 

Sheepies

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I'm probably going to make myself look like an ass here but.

I wouldn't hand over actual ab/dl diapers, they're expensive as fuck. If someone needs diapers that badly most grocery stores have a pack of 10 for like $15. AB/DL diapers are not really for what she wanted to use them for. I understand that he may have broke his hip and needed some kind of protection but using someone's $40+ diapers that they paid for (Atleast im assuming you paid that much since they were ABU little paws) without asking is kinda not right. And it's kinda not right to just take them regardless of the scenario, I personally think your mother was a bit selfish since she couldn't be bothered to spend the $15 to just get regular diapers for him. AB/DL diapers are not really meant for medical use in the way she wanted to use them.

Gotta say I agree with this. Along with everyone else saying that OP's grandfather likely already feels pained with his new loss of mobility and independence. I've been in that position, didn't break my hip, but broke my leg so badly I couldn't walk again for 5 months and I agree the loss of independence can be excruciating. There's no doubt in my mind handing him ABDL diapers would make him feel ten times worse. Plus they're heaps more expensive and not suited for the purpose they have in mind. I know your mom was in a panic, but even then it's not right to just barge in so violently like that.

If I were in your position, I too would have panicked in the heat of the moment.

Keep us posted.
 

quattrus

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I'm probably going to make myself look like an ass here but.

You're actually right on spot. I understand that someone who is not knowledgeable on the concept of ABDL may have a hard time grasping it without seeing with their eyes what the deal is about but, to say it in different terms, it'd be like asking your friend who has a collection of classic cars to lend you one because your daily driver has broken down and you need to go to work. Yes, technically they're cars too, but there is... quite the difference.

I might also add that...
she said "Bullshit" and continued snooping, getting angry and calling me a freak
...I don't think being in distress for whatever reason is an excuse for being disrespectful.
 
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