Wearing for my boyfriend

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hesDLImNot

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Hi Lillies,

Your situation sounds a lot like mine. My boyfriend told me about his fetish 3 months into our relationship. It was really hard for me to understand at first. I really wanted to find out where the fetish came from... and at first i didn't know if it was just about diapers or if he was AB also. (He's DL only). It actually provided an opportunity for us to become even closer and understand each other even better. I wouldn't trade that for anything now. Sometimes I just wish I knew how to participate more in his fetish, though. That is one reason we joined this site together. It's also nice to hear from other couples similar to us. I have tried wearing them once, which went well...but I think I pushed myself into all of it too quick so I had to take a step back so I could get used to it at a slower pace. Thanks for starting this post!

ej24-
If your girlfriend is into psychology (that's my interest also), she will likely be understanding of your fetish... Just make sure to explain the fetish to her real well otherwise her mind might form misinterpretations of your interest.
 

DONeill73

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As Canadian said, you are an amazing person for being willing to delve into this interest that your b/f has. Most people dont give to hairs of a rats ass to stay around and understand. You are certainly a very open minded and definitely caring individual by willing to experiment with them for him. I hope that one day, you will also find yourself in here, as a DL.
 

Lillies5112

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We've been together for a year, she has no idea at all.

I understand. Seems like you're both going through a lot, at the moment.
I wouldn't wait too long, though. Deep secrets are never good for a relationship. And, knowing whether or not she can accept it, is something you both probably would like to know sooner, rather than later.

Waiting a few more months isn't a big deal... But, you'll always be able to justify that "right now isn't the right time to tell her". Hopefully, once this initial stress is over with choosing schools, you'll come clean with her.

I hope it she's accepting, and it works out for the both of you. :)

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Hi Lillies,

Your situation sounds a lot like mine. My boyfriend told me about his fetish 3 months into our relationship. It was really hard for me to understand at first. I really wanted to find out where the fetish came from... and at first i didn't know if it was just about diapers or if he was AB also. (He's DL only). It actually provided an opportunity for us to become even closer and understand each other even better. I wouldn't trade that for anything now. Sometimes I just wish I knew how to participate more in his fetish, though. That is one reason we joined this site together. It's also nice to hear from other couples similar to us. I have tried wearing them once, which went well...but I think I pushed myself into all of it too quick so I had to take a step back so I could get used to it at a slower pace. Thanks for starting this post!

ej24-
If your girlfriend is into psychology (that's my interest also), she will likely be understanding of your fetish... Just make sure to explain the fetish to her real well otherwise her mind might form misinterpretations of your interest.

Well, I'm glad to hear from you. :)
I don't think I've heard from another female with a similar situation. This is why I joined this site. Getting and giving support from others is amazing.

One step at a time, is definitely important. Me and my boyfriend have taken it slow, and despite some issues, it's the best and healthiest way to do it, IMO.

Interestingly enough, he's going through a seasonal slump, or taking a step back... However you want to put it. Since, I joined this site (which he'll occasionally read a few things, when he sees me on here) he hasn't really been interested in diapers, much at all.

He's a pure DL, very low on the spectrum. On average, wears about twice a week (at home)
Doesn't use his diapers for the bathroom, never has.
I think he's just going through a less interested period.

This fetish (for him) despite being lifelong, is relatively mild and me just being accepting of it, is whats most important to him.

I would love to keep in contact! Share and learn more.

~ Also, psychology has always been a passion of mine as well. Maybe, it's a common thread in acceptance. Understanding/studying human behavior. :)

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As Canadian said, you are an amazing person for being willing to delve into this interest that your b/f has. Most people dont give to hairs of a rats ass to stay around and understand. You are certainly a very open minded and definitely caring individual by willing to experiment with them for him. I hope that one day, you will also find yourself in here, as a DL.

Thank you. That means a lot. :)
 
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hesDLImNot

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It's interesting that you say your boyfriend is not too interested in diapers at the moment. My boyfriend has told me he has gone through those periods of time multiple times in his life but most of the time they are caused by emotional slumps. Almost like he's feeling guilty or ashamed for wanting to wear them so he just avoids them altogether. I can usually tell when he is feeling like that because he almost seems depressed. It seems like a pretty rough roller coaster of loving diapers and hating them at the same time. Anyway, I just wanted to share because I am curious if that is normal for DLs.
 

CuriousCouple

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quite interesting this thread.
I recently told my missus that i have something for females in diapers n i was overly suprised and so happy she had gorne and bought some diapers n came home after work and got into bed wearing one.
This was the one secret i wasnt going to tell anyone .It just came up in what was my fetish coversation after probly 5th convo and couple hrs she got it outa me.
I think was best thing i ever said.
Also think was safe to say she enjoyed the comfort and feel.
 

Lillies5112

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Anyway, I just wanted to share because I am curious if that is normal for DLs.

I believe that's called the bingeing and purging cycle. Seems a common thing for people of the AB/DL to do, when they're having a hard time accepting their interests and the emotions that come with it.
My boyfriend has gone through one of those periods, during our relationship. Before we finally talked about it, at 3 months, he threw out his diapers and tried to stop. Once we actually talked about it, and I told him I was accepting, he bought new ones.
This time isn't like that. He's 29 years old, and has accepted/knows he's not going to change.
Hes just going through a less interested phase, which is normal for him. Sometimes, it's a little more, sometimes it's a little less. Happens to be the latter, at the moment.

How long have you and your boyfriend been together??

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I think was best thing i ever said.
Also think was safe to say she enjoyed the comfort and feel.

Sounds like a success!
I'm glad she took to the idea and is willing to experiment with you.
 
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Exploration

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Wow. I wish my girlfriend was as accepting as others' are. It is SO cool that some people are willing to at least try this sort of thing for their boyfriend. I would try anything for my girlfriend (although there are some things she likes, like roller coasters, that I can't do... even though I tried a little one with her).
 

hesDLImNot

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We have been together about a year and a half. He told me about it via text one night when we were talking about fetishes. I pretty much had to drag it out of him and I was totally shocked. But I also didn't understand it much at that time. He was kinda too embarrassed to explain it too much at first.
 

Lillies5112

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Wow. I wish my girlfriend was as accepting as others' are. It is SO cool that some people are willing to at least try this sort of thing for their boyfriend. I would try anything for my girlfriend (although there are some things she likes, like roller coasters, that I can't do... even though I tried a little one with her).

Some things just take time. And, relationships with healthy, long standing foundations.

If she's not accepting... View it as a roller coaster for her. If you don't understand one and most likely haven't heard much about a roller coaster, you probably wouldn't get on one. Sometimes, though (sometimes) with no pressure, slight encouragement, and the time to make the decision on your own... You'll eventually try it. :)

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We have been together about a year and a half. He told me about it via text one night when we were talking about fetishes. I pretty much had to drag it out of him and I was totally shocked. But I also didn't understand it much at that time. He was kinda too embarrassed to explain it too much at first.

Just a few months shy of how long I've been with my boyfriend. Ha.

Yeah, I didn't understand too much at first either. I had heard of and done minor research on AB/DLs (very minor) while coming across it a few times, while studying psychology. But, I had certainly never MET anyone (or at least knew that I met, lol) someone of the community.

It was very scary at first. Not knowing or understanding much and having no one to talk about it, with. But, over the last 15 months... I've researched my ass off, and have fixed that. Majorly. I even corrected my boyfriend's definition one time (he was way off)
Ignorant of AB/DL's no longer! :D

And, this site is a tremendous resource as well. Very grateful it's available. :)
 
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Exploration

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Some things just take time. And, relationships with healthy, long standing foundations.

I am hoping time will make a difference, but I am also considering that we may just need to find a compromise. We had been together for several years before I told her and have had a few years since then... I have tried not to be too verbal but I worry that she won't understand how much this matters to me (since we don't talk about it). :/ Any advice for moving forward in a relationship that struggles with conflict?
 

Lillies5112

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I am hoping time will make a difference, but I am also considering that we may just need to find a compromise. We had been together for several years before I told her and have had a few years since then... I have tried not to be too verbal but I worry that she won't understand how much this matters to me (since we don't talk about it). :/ Any advice for moving forward in a relationship that struggles with conflict?


Sounds like you've been together for quite a while, then. Obviously, something must be working. :)

So, she knows you're a DL (and has for a few years) but you guys never talk about it? She must be accepting to a small point, since you guys are still together.
Do you keep your diaper wearing to yourself, or wear when she's around, as well?

I don't know the specific circumstances of your relationship (which is why I asked a few questions, sorry) but... I think that communication is important. It's a lifelong interest, it's not going away and if you guys plan to be together, that needs to be apparent. Her actively participating, may never happen, but I'm a firm believer in couples should be able to talk about everything and anything. They're your partner. Who else can you be vulnerable to? Crazy, silly, dorky, 100% and fully yourself. Couples who are completely open with each other, bond because of that.

Compromise is the flip side. We're only human and there's 2 people in a relationship. To keep balance (and everyone sane) compromise offers both parties being satisfied with the situation/outcome.

Me and my boyfriend made a couple ground rules, regarding his diaper wearing, and it's all copacetic!
He's satisfied and I'm satisfied.

It's the same thing as having an understanding of who's going to do the dishes, or make date night plans or take out the trash. Even small things. If there's communication and everyone knows what the deal is... It reduces conflict.

I don't know if your girlfriend would ever be up to it, but if you two do end up talking and she wants or is open to talking to other people about it (specifically a female in a similar situation) you can send her my way. I think there's probably a big group of people (most likely, more females) who are with someone of the AB/DL community and they don't share their partner's interest. Just being able to talk to someone else helps, when you're ready.

Shoving it down her throat and talking her ear off about it, aside... You should be able to talk about this with her. Especially, after several years of being together and her knowing.
My advice would be to open the lines of communication. Maybe, slowly... But, at least crack the door. :)
 
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playfulxscottx

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It's totally a trust exercise but you should note there's more than likely a large sexual component to it. Even if there isn't, go into it with that as a starting point and work back
 

hesDLImNot

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Sounds like you've been together for quite a while, then. Obviously, something must be working. :)

So, she knows you're a DL (and has for a few years) but you guys never talk about it? She must be accepting to a small point, since you guys are still together.
Do you keep your diaper wearing to yourself, or wear when she's around, as well?

I don't know the specific circumstances of your relationship (which is why I asked a few questions, sorry) but... I think that communication is important. It's a lifelong interest, it's not going away and if you guys plan to be together, that needs to be apparent. Her actively participating, may never happen, but I'm a firm believer in couples should be able to talk about everything and anything. They're your partner. Who else can you be vulnerable to? Crazy, silly, dorky, 100% and fully yourself. Couples who are completely open with each other, bond because of that.

Compromise is the flip side. We're only human and there's 2 people in a relationship. To keep balance (and everyone sane) compromise offers both parties being satisfied with the situation/outcome.

Me and my boyfriend made a couple ground rules, regarding his diaper wearing, and it's all copacetic!
He's satisfied and I'm satisfied.

It's the same thing as having an understanding of who's going to do the dishes, or make date night plans or take out the trash. Even small things. If there's communication and everyone knows what the deal is... It reduces conflict.

I don't know if your girlfriend would ever be up to it, but if you two do end up talking and she wants or is open to talking to other people about it (specifically a female in a similar situation) you can send her my way. I think there's probably a big group of people (most likely, more females) who are with someone of the AB/DL community and they don't share their partner's interest. Just being able to talk to someone else helps, when you're ready.

Shoving it down her throat and talking her ear off about it, aside... You should be able to talk about this with her. Especially, after several years of being together and her knowing.
My advice would be to open the lines of communication. Maybe, slowly... But, at least crack the door. :)



I completely agree with Lillies. Communication is what makes a relationship like this work (same as any relationship). My BF and I also set ground rules in a manner of speaking. And we discuss how each other are feeling about the diaper wearing on a regular basis. For instance, my BF often worries that his wearing will get in the way of us having sex or playing around. It's just something we have to balance. And I personally believe that you owe it to yourself and to your girlfriend to open up completely. If you guys are planning on getting married someday, it is only fair that you each know everything you need to know about each other. And I bet it will actually make your relationship better in the long run. ;) Good luck!
 
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LittleLostPuppy

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Thanks for this thread Lillies. It's really quite inspirational to see how much you want to understand your BF, and how much you are able to give to others here.
 

Lillies5112

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Thanks for this thread Lillies. It's really quite inspirational to see how much you want to understand your BF, and how much you are able to give to others here.

Thank you. :) This site has been beacon for me. And, everyone on here is extremely helpful and supportive.

Growing and learning is a part of life and I'm always up for it.
ADISC has helped me do that, in regards to understanding a part of my boyfriend. (How else can we evolve?) :)

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It's totally a trust exercise but you should note there's more than likely a large sexual component to it. Even if there isn't, go into it with that as a starting point and work back

I understand what you mean. The few times we experimented, that was definitely the case. And, it's not something I would do with someone I didn't trust.
Going into a new experience, you have to trust the person taking you along for the ride. Otherwise, it'll probably be bumpy. :eek:
 
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Exploration

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Wow. Thanks for all the replies. I figured communication was the key word. =P And, taking things slow. Which is depressing but also a no brainer. I just keep trying to tell myself I could give up diapers to be with her... but I don't know if I can. I think I would just live a super stressed li(f)e and we would struggle to have a satisfying relationship. So glad I can grumble a bit on this forum and get help! Sorry to talk aloud online (not really looking for more attention; just wanted to say thank you).

:D
 

H0TWH33LS

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Consider yourself lucky...My girlfriend and I recently "broke up" or are taking time apart presumably over my diaper wearing at night. I would give up diapers for the rest of my life to be with this girl except I think she's having trouble understanding. We had a very intense relationship over the course of a few months and the diaper wearing continued pretty much throughout. Three months in my girlfriend brought up a lot of questions and issues she was having about being a DL which took me by surprise considering I hadn't even worn around her in over a month. The more we talked the better I think she started to understand but she has significantly pulled away. Any advice??
 

Lillies5112

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Consider yourself lucky...My girlfriend and I recently "broke up" or are taking time apart presumably over my diaper wearing at night. I would give up diapers for the rest of my life to be with this girl except I think she's having trouble understanding. We had a very intense relationship over the course of a few months and the diaper wearing continued pretty much throughout. Three months in my girlfriend brought up a lot of questions and issues she was having about being a DL which took me by surprise considering I hadn't even worn around her in over a month. The more we talked the better I think she started to understand but she has significantly pulled away. Any advice??

I would give her the space she wants, while also letting her know how you feel and that you want, more than anything, to be with her. It's a lot to swallow, sometimes and she might need time to process everything. I was still processing/getting everything down, a year after finding out. (I've since reached a plateau) And, that was with plentiful research and educating myself on everything.

I wouldn't promise to give diapers up, in an attempt to please her.
It's most likely, not a promise you could keep. It's a lifelong interest and it's not going away. You could, technically, give up diapers... But, you'll always have the desire.

Show her ADISC and a few other resources that she can check out on her own, that will help her learn more and hear from other people.
And, talk to her. Tell her how you feel. :)
 
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