Wanting to give up

KryanAshford

Est. Contributor
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1,614
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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Carer
Here I am in the home stretch to 30. I'm scared of that. I truly am I haven't done a damn thing with my time besides work a shitty job and be alone. I'm starting to go blind and my drive is all but gone. I was going to quit my job but lost out to fear. I hate myself for what I've become. I always believed I was meant for greatness, but instead I'm the very trash I hate. I just don't want to try anymore I now don't care about myself as much as I use to. I know this is depression, and I don't care anymore. Why should I fight it. I live in a cell of a room with no change or hope coming my way. I only live for movies and events now. I want someone to love, but only find a tulpa to love. And one of the only hopes I've had has slowly been realizing itself to be never in possible. I was hoping to find a mommy or a switch to help me get over the emotional/mental damage I've suffered, but it's never going to happen.
 

RubberJin

Est. Contributor
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269
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Diaper Lover
You're right - that's depression talking. Stop beating yourself up and get some help.

Also don't expect a partner to be a therapist - it's not fair on them, that's what the professionals are for.
 

PapaBear001

Come say hello to Papa Bear!
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Messages
328
Age
44
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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover
Well your not the only one. There are plenty of people here that have problems and are lonely. I have two friends that are legally bind. They are brothers and they are both albinos. They pretty much have to kiss the screen to read it. I asked my friend Bob one time, "Are you making out with that monitor or are you reading something!" It made for some good laughs. Anyway, both are working in IT and both are successful. Your depression is getting in the way and maybe a theropist can help with that. I was in a crap jobs until I was 27. I studies a lot and got that one chance at a good job to prove myself. No degree. Just a HS deploma. Sitting back and waiting for an opportunity to arise will get you nothing. Get out there and do it. No one is going to help with a career if no one sees you trying. Tough love buddy. Hope you start feeling better.
 

Seasonedcitizen

Est. Contributor
Messages
500
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Diaper Lover, Sissy
Every day starts with a blank page. You decide what to write on it.

I've gone through the same pains you are going through. We all have at one time or another.

Seek some help. Having someone to talk to helps a lot. When you feel bad just think that your problems are someone else's blessings.
 

RinntheWolf

Contributor
Messages
18
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Diaper Lover, Diaperfur, Sissy, Little
I have a therapist and he sincerely cares about how I'm feeling. Depression is an uphill battle, and it's easier to not fight it alone, but a partner is not the answer. I don't date because I personally have not sorted out all my anxiety and depression and believe me, the second that a partner finds your emotional baggage, they will run for the hills, which will only leave you feeling worse (more lonely and depressed). My advice, find a therapist.

Feel Better, and don't do anything stupid like self harm. I've been down that road and it only ends in disaster. My uncle killed himself over something stupid and he messed up my entire family emotionally. Don't just think about yourself, think about everyone you know and everyone who cares about you.
 

BabyTyrant

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2,369
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Diaper Lover
I've been there before plenty of times, I still do go back to that mental plane sometimes.

But it always temporary and I have got to the point where I realize life sucks, and its gonna keep sucking until I break through.

I haven't broke through yet, I'm still trying and while it seems like things wont get better, I know they will (even if it is only temporary).

I know some day I will get that, it's just a matter of time and perseverance.

I don't think things are completely hopeless for you either; you should seek help even if it is only talking like a Counselor or Therapist it still helps.
 

KawaiiBabyjenni

Est. Contributor
Messages
283
Role
Adult Baby
Here I am in the home stretch to 30. I'm scared of that. I truly am I haven't done a damn thing with my time besides work a shitty job and be alone. I'm starting to go blind and my drive is all but gone. I was going to quit my job but lost out to fear. I hate myself for what I've become. I always believed I was meant for greatness, but instead I'm the very trash I hate. I just don't want to try anymore I now don't care about myself as much as I use to. I know this is depression, and I don't care anymore. Why should I fight it. I live in a cell of a room with no change or hope coming my way. I only live for movies and events now. I want someone to love, but only find a tulpa to love. And one of the only hopes I've had has slowly been realizing itself to be never in possible. I was hoping to find a mommy or a switch to help me get over the emotional/mental damage I've suffered, but it's never going to happen.
If it makes you feel better I'm 38 no job, and still live with my parents...
 

extremecomfy

Est. Contributor
Messages
484
Role
Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Little
Here I am in the home stretch to 30. I'm scared of that. I truly am I haven't done a damn thing with my time besides work a shitty job and be alone. I'm starting to go blind and my drive is all but gone. I was going to quit my job but lost out to fear. I hate myself for what I've become. I always believed I was meant for greatness, but instead I'm the very trash I hate. I just don't want to try anymore I now don't care about myself as much as I use to. I know this is depression, and I don't care anymore. Why should I fight it. I live in a cell of a room with no change or hope coming my way. I only live for movies and events now. I want someone to love, but only find a tulpa to love. And one of the only hopes I've had has slowly been realizing itself to be never in possible. I was hoping to find a mommy or a switch to help me get over the emotional/mental damage I've suffered, but it's never going to happen.
Ah...my constant companion...major depression. 😉😼
 

DarkDream

Contributor
Messages
20
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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Sissy, Little, Incontinent
Same, I get like that sometimes as I have multiple chronic health issues that can be disabling like vestibular migraines,nerve pain, severe IBS/SIBO, shoulder instability dislocation issue.
 

DarkDream

Contributor
Messages
20
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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Sissy, Little, Incontinent
If it makes you feel better I'm 38 no job, and still live with my parents...
35 myself(don't look it) and still live with mum.
But got aspergers syndrome, very severe anxiety, depression, PTSD and more...
 

DarkDream

Contributor
Messages
20
Role
Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Sissy, Little, Incontinent
Here I am in the home stretch to 30. I'm scared of that. I truly am I haven't done a damn thing with my time besides work a shitty job and be alone. I'm starting to go blind and my drive is all but gone. I was going to quit my job but lost out to fear. I hate myself for what I've become. I always believed I was meant for greatness, but instead I'm the very trash I hate. I just don't want to try anymore I now don't care about myself as much as I use to. I know this is depression, and I don't care anymore. Why should I fight it. I live in a cell of a room with no change or hope coming my way. I only live for movies and events now. I want someone to love, but only find a tulpa to love. And one of the only hopes I've had has slowly been realizing itself to be never in possible. I was hoping to find a mommy or a switch to help me get over the emotional/mental damage I've suffered, but it's never going to happen.
Same here, no partner for 11 years time so far. And been 15 years since I had sex.
No one fancies me nowadays. :(

I'm pansexual but prefer guys. I don't know many pan/bi/gay guys though.
Women just reject/friendzone me tho. Given up on them.
 

StrangelyShapedTree

Est. Contributor
Messages
510
Role
Diaper Lover
I'm really sorry man...learn how to sing or buy an instrument. Don't make your job your life blood. Look around for some lessons on some form of art. You got this!
 
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