Virginity

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EpicHysteria

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So recently I have started to get involved with one of my closest friends as more of dating relationship and it seems like we are only talking about sex. She seems to be under the opinion that virginity is a sacred thing and I just don't see what is so special about it, it seems like something that is just a part of growing up and is nothing special.
What I want to know is other people's views on virginity and how they relate to my own.

Later
 

LittleAdam

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Being raised Catholic, my view on it is that it is something that should be saved for marriage. However, I've never been in a relationship before that has had the opportunity to go that far so I can't say what I would do if I were in your shoes or were presented with the opportunity. I suppose that if I am really sure it is the right person, it would be pretty hard to wait until you're married.
 

starshine

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Hi, first, I suggest checking out these topics;

http://www.adisc.org/forum/mature-topics/3885-i-lost-my-virginity-prostitute.html
http://www.adisc.org/forum/mature-topics/2077-what-your-thoughts-no-sex.html
http://www.adisc.org/forum/mature-topics/2050-idea-virginity.html
http://www.adisc.org/forum/mature-topics/1248-your-views-sex.html

Most people have already stated their opinions in at least one of those threads. As for me, I agree with baseball. I was raised Catholic, no sex before marriage, however I've been as far as being in bed with someone, pants off etc... a little foreplay never hurt, but I haven't been the whole way, nor do I plan on it until I'm Married.
 

Kovy

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Being raised Catholic, my view on it is that it is something that should be saved for marriage. However, I've never been in a relationship before that has had the opportunity to go that far so I can't say what I would do if I were in your shoes or were presented with the opportunity. I suppose that if I am really sure it is the right person, it would be pretty hard to wait until you're married.
You hit the nail on the head. Bravo.
 

ballucanb

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I think to loose ones virginity is up to the individual, if he or she wants to do it before they get married, its fine, but if you want to wait and make it something special, I think thats fine too.

Don't let peer pressure take your virginity away, if you want to be a virgin that is up to you!

They are many people out in the world today, that say they have, just to get pressure of them, I say if that works for you go with it,... I did, and people believed me.
 

Jaiden

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I'll offer my thoughts very briefly:

States and identities to be concerned with - being: a friend, a partner, a success, happy, healthy, fulfilled, accomplished, secure, contented, a contributor, loved, loving, part of a family...

Being a virgin? Less so.

I think it's silly to give something like that so much weight or let it play a part in how you define and consider yourself and others. Fundamentally though, you just have to do what you need to and what you think is right while remembering that you are only really accountable to yourself.
 
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Cliché belief: You have to wait for the right time to lose it. Otherwise, looking back, you may regret it.

Don't let anyone tell you when you should and shouldn't be having sex. It is entirely up to you and only a decision you should make. If you don't feel ready and/or comfortable with it, or if you feel you aren't able to cope with the emotional impact of a sexual encounter, then don't force it! It'll come naturally, and for everyone the urge to have sex at different times and at different stages of our development (or not at all). Not everyone is the same.

Again, don't feel you are required to have sex - either that be through peer pressure or otherwise. The right time is when you feel and know it's the right time.
 

Dream

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First off, I'm not a virgin, I lost that a couple years ago, but anyway right now, I'm dating a virgin and our plans right now, is for me to help her loose it on her birthday as a birthday gift from me. So my opinion is that it your choice when you want to loose it when your comfortable or ready for it.
 

Pojo

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I'm not a religious person, but I still think that sex should be saved for marriage...I kind of think that people that have sex with others before they are married, are whores...But that's just me :D
 

Takkun

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Virginity is special in that you only have your first time once, but to me it wasn't a big deal. *shrug*

And my definition of losing your virginity is very broad, which many of my friends disagree with. I believe ANY sexual contact makes you no longer a virgin. Regular sex, oral, anal, even fingering/ jacking off, ANYthing with an other person for sexual gratification.

I do not believe masturbation or tearing your hymen by non-sexual means (horse-back riding, tampon, etc) makes you lose your virginity though.
 

Fire2box

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Virginity is special in that you only have your first time once, but to me it wasn't a big deal. *shrug*

And my definition of losing your virginity is very broad, which many of my friends disagree with. I believe ANY sexual contact makes you no longer a virgin. Regular sex, oral, anal, even fingering/ jacking off, ANYthing with an other person for sexual gratification.

I do not believe masturbation or tearing your hymen by non-sexual means (horse-back riding, tampon, etc) makes you lose your virginity though.
So, say I jacked off by myself I am a virgin in your terms since I did not do it with anyone else?

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dogboy

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Take it from an old dog that life is way too short. I grew up in a rough neighborhood, and so other boys would always want to "mess around" with each other. It was also a power thing, who had dominance over who. Sex is complicated. It's important to remember that virginity is different for a girl than it is for a guy. We are usually pretty anxious to lose it, and they are not.

I had a long affair with a girl during my Jr. and Sr. year in high school. When I went to college, she suddenly ended it. Emotionally it was tough. The thing about having sex is that there is so much more involved than just the sex, and it seldom is a free ride. It was a first experience for both of us. We were committing so much more than just our bodies. In addition, we had all the pains of growing up, thinking about careers, and thinking about our futures together. When it suddenly ended, I went to the other side, so to speak. If that doesn't exemplify consequences, what does?

With that being said, time moves much quicker than you can imagine. Soon you will lose the adrogenous quality of youthful beauty. You will become just like all the other adults. If I had to do it over again, I would be an even bigger whore than the one I apparently became, Pogo! hahaha..... It is a man's world I guess. Ultimately you must respect her wishes. Because we life in the U.S., we live with the specters of the Puritans. We still associate sex with sin. But the wise also know that there are emotional complications that come with it. Like I said, it's not a free ride.
 

Takkun

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So, say I jacked off by myself I am a virgin in your terms since I did not do it with anyone else?

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Now playing: Ladytron - Seventeen
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Yup.

But that's just my interpretation of my Bible teachings (I'm Disciples of Christ), then slightly altered due to other non-religious beliefs, and now that I no longer consider myself a Christian.
 

Target

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The fact is that Virginity is seen more as a religious/traditional worth than a physical Characteristic, this because is something sex-related and everybody knows that sex is a taboo.
Physically, losing your virginity, your body doesn't change much (Yeah, women can broke their hymen, but this is really a small change), you don't became fat/thin tall/short pretty/ugly.

Traditionally, the most important kind of virginity is the female one. I rarely heard stories about men who lost their virginity and sentenced to death.
This too is related to the historical figure of the man, strong and dominant, who "have to" lose his virginity to be considered a man, and the figure of the woman, fragile and pure, who must be virgin till marriage.

Now days, all is changed. Boys and Girls compete each other for who will be the first to lose virginity. I don't like this, but I can't blame them because is their choice.
I can only blame myself in the case I will not respect what I believe in.

My Idea to lose my virginity is giving it to a real girl that I love (and, In my opinion, loving someone doesn't mean you must be married with him). If I will fail to give It to my real love, I can be marked as Hypocrite, just like all people who preach for no sex before marriage and they are the firsts who do / have done that.

This is my Idea and I respect your opinion as I would like you will respect mine
 
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As long you are in a long term committed relationship without force or coerision then what you do together sexually is your business. If not, then it is not right. Defining long term relationship, defining committed, defining without force or coerision is up to you and your partner.
I just wonder if I will have the same opinion in a couple of years when my (step)kids become (even more) sexually active.... 2 out of the 3 are already teens.
 

LittleAdam

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So, say I jacked off by myself I am a virgin in your terms since I did not do it with anyone else?
I was wondering the same thing. In my earlier post, I was talking about traditional sex only, not really any other "kinds".
 

LinusBlueSnow

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I agree with Jaiden and Target 0. The idea of virginity isn't like a physical identifier, it's not like your body immediately changes, it's more the idea that you've been faithful to someone there is such a thing as safe sex and birth control (and if you ask me the whole reason why the Church tried to prevent people from having sex had more to do with keeping the birth rate and number of mouths to feed down, as well as preventing any scandals or offspring and confusion with who should rule or extramarital affairs as a result of royal weddings, I mean come on have you seen how horny people in the Roman Empire were, or look at what the populations were like in France or England at the time of 100 years war they had loads of mouths to feed?). I want to lose it to a girl I love, who accepts me and likes me for who I am, rather than through peer pressure and if it happens before marriage then fine. If two people really do love eachother and decide that they want to have sex before marriage then let 'em do it. If people want to wait until they're married that's cool, I think it's kind of cool that 2 people can do that for eachother, I just hope they do something like that because they want to (pressure works both ways). As for me I'm probably gonna end up doing it before marriage.
 

ballucanb

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I was wondering the same thing. In my earlier post, I was talking about traditional sex only, not really any other "kinds".

If your just jacking off, that is not sex, as far as I'm concerned sex is when it is done between 2 people.

even if your just jacking off with a buddy, it's still not sex untill you do something together.
 
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daria7483

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I just don't see what the big deal is about virginity and whether you are one or not. I lost my virginity to my high school boyfriend at age 17. The idea of losing it meant nothing to me. I didn't care about the "virgin" label, I just didn't want to be sleeping with a guy who didn't care about me, whether it was the first time or not.

People who make a huge deal out of it and losing it are setting themselves up for disappointment. The first time is probably not going to be that great, especially if it's with someone else who is doing it for the first time. It takes practice. I'm sure there are people who would contradict me and say that it's just such a wonderful emotional experience doing it on your wedding night and knowing you are giving something so special to someone you love so much, but let's face it, sex is half mental, half physical. You can believe it's wonderful and special, but if what's happening down there doesn't feel all that great because you're inexperienced and the other person is inexperienced, it's not going to be all that enjoyable. I would think if I'd waited until my wedding night and then lost my virginity to another virgin, my opinion afterwards would be "crap...that is what I've waited all those years for?"
 

SteveC1981

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Well, religious views aside, you still have to keep in mind that there's only going to be one first time; that's why they call it the "first time". :educate:

Should you wait until marraige? Well, you will be happier waiting than if you lost it as some fling after the high school prom (unfortunately, life is not like the movie American Pie:giggles: )
So recently I have started to get involved with one of my closest friends as more of dating relationship and it seems like we are only talking about sex. She seems to be under the opinion that virginity is a sacred thing and I just don't see what is so special about it, it seems like something that is just a part of growing up and is nothing special.
What I want to know is other people's views on virginity and how they relate to my own.

Later
 
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