Vent: I hate wearing diapers!

[slimjiminy]

Most days, it's not a big deal. I've pretty much accepted my "situation" these days. Sometimes it feels like a "demise".

Every once in a while I wake up in the morning wishing that this "diaper nightmare" would end. It would be so much more convenient and less embarrassing, not to mention a $aving$. Whenever that thought reminds me that "yes, I do wear diapers" goes through my head, then there is that mental sigh that "yes.. it is sadly true". And then there's the skeletons in my closet (the diaper stash) that I sometimes need to keep hidden (home inspection for a moving quote for example).

Oh, to be young and fully continent again!

Does anyone else suffer this nagging thought from time to time?

(IC only please).

 

[mickdl]

So I can completely understand your frustration. Especially now in the Christmas season you are always invited somewhere. It's just annoying when you have to change at some point and well-meaning neighbors want to watch out for my bag....

When I sometimes think about maybe the next 30 or 40 years still have to live with the crap I really have to watch out that I do not become depressed. Especially when I think about it more precisely what can still fail so everything ...

 

[JaysonTheRegressor]

I refuse to pad up in my diaper at times and that leads to me sneezing and wetting the bed a lot
Every time i dont want to wear one and i pee myself with a cough/sneeze/whatever I really wish i didnt need them
Some days I want to just be diaperless but then something happens to where i have to pad up

 

[SparkyDog]

@slimjiminy
have you looked into using caths?
i have been IC my whole life and have made my peace with diapers.

Pros with caths: not a diaper

Cons: elevated risk for a UTI
you have to wear a. collection bag
If checking out a cath i would really recommend a condom cath vs one you insert. They arnt exactly that comfortable

 

[slimjiminy]

I have had catheters inserted before. Twice I've had to wear one for a week. So no, if the problem remains, the diaper is ok (despite my complaining). I just don't like being IC.

 

[slimjiminy]

When I sometimes think about maybe the next 30 or 40 years still have to live with the crap I really have to watch out that I do not become depressed. Especially when I think about it more precisely what can still fail so everything ...

I suppose I shouldn't complain too much. I made it to mid 60s ok before this IC thing happened.

 

[SparkyDog]

I have had catheters inserted before. Twice I've had to wear one for a week. So no, if the problem remains, the diaper is ok (despite my complaining). I just don't like being IC.

Are you actively seeing a urologist?

 

[babyraggydolls]

As I’ve gotten older I’ve started to leak and need diapers, I would wear them full time but I can’t afford it unless my income ever goes up. The cost is not good unless you’re lucky enough to fit in to kids nappies but as I’ve gotten older in life my mobility is poor, I need a frame to just use the bathroom and there are times I have messed the bed so I have a mattress protector and I leak 24/7
I tried having surgery to fix it but it was a horrible experience and it didn’t improve it much and I ended up wetting the hospital bed and being on oxygen for a while. I’m scared that I’m heading to an early grave mainly from blood pressure and all these mobility issues but I’ve learned to accept this is how life is and I wish I could run like I used to, I would go 30 miles in a day for exercise and now I’m a shell of myself, I’m sorry you struggle 💕

 

[slimjiminy]

Are you actively seeing a urologist?

I have seen one and going back next summer. Appointments to any specialist is a long wait in Canada right now.

 

[mickdl]

Wow - does it really take that long in Canada? I waited a month and a half for my last cystometry here in Germany and thought that was a long time...

 

[SparkyDog]

I have seen one and going back next summer. Appointments to any specialist is a long wait in Canada right now.

Next summer?
wtf
I wait 6-8 weeks max
which I think is too long
half a year + is nuts
we're in the same country

 

[Rob110]

Ive been back in diapers 24/7 for 9 years now and came to terms with it years ago and I no longer worry or stress about it, diapers are now simply apart of my daily life . Would I like to be out of them yes but Im ok with wearing them.

 

[hbic60]

I fully understand your frustration, but things are what the are. I wish you the power to change things, which can be changed, to simply accept those, which you can't and the wisdom distinguishing one from the other!

 

[slimjiminy]

Next summer?
wtf
I wait 6-8 weeks max
which I think is too long
half a year + is nuts
we're in the same country

Yup. I'm waiting until May for a MRI for another matter. We have a health crises here.

As far as the urologist is concerned, he won't be looking for cures but dealing with another issue. My diabetes nerve damage is why I am IC, and there is no cure for that.

 

[greatlake5]

I've been IC since the beginning so I don't know anything else. You would think I'd be OK with it but ...not really. I have a fantasy of being "normal"
(non-IC). Sometimes it's embarrassing and at worst, humiliating at times. But having to wear diapers is simply humbling. I've understood that complaining doesn't help. So I don't. I supposed that being IC makes us vulnerable. My partner tells me that being vulnerable makes me even more lovable. I'm cool with that.

 

[EcoIncon]

Does anyone else suffer this nagging thought from time to time?

All the time. I share your pain. It's funny, many on these boards are jealous of genuine accidents. IC... we're jealous of those that don't have them... I guess the grass is always greener on the other side.

After dealing with this for almost 30 years, I have given up on trying to keep it hidden (I certainly use discretion and keep things in closets and out of plain view but if people snoop in my bedroom/bathroom they will find evidence). I've had very few occasions where anyone has noted anything. Letting go of trying to "hide it", has given me a little more peace with this and I worry about it less.

 

[Angelapinks]

Next summer?
wtf
I wait 6-8 weeks max
which I think is too long
half a year + is nuts
we're in the same country

My next appointment is April, I see him once a year and he is very busy. We have an aging population and the problems that go with it are many. I go to my local health care store every two weeks to buy diapers and the store is very busy. I always see the delivery guy loading his van with many many boxes of adult diapers and this is a small local shop but they sell hundreds of diapers and related products a week. They can never keep plastic pants in stock and they have many sizes available. The woman I talked to said it is their main business these days next to their busy pharmacy.

 

[Turfy]

I feel things on both sides. I have bouts of real incontinence, and other times I'm technically ok (if having to go every 20 min is ok, lol). I have also lived with someone who is majorly incontinent for years now.

All the time. I share your pain. It's funny, many on these boards are jealous of genuine accidents. IC... we're jealous of those that don't have them... I guess the grass is always greener on the other side.

After dealing with this for almost 30 years, I have given up on trying to keep it hidden (I certainly use discretion and keep things in closets and out of plain view but if people snoop in my bedroom/bathroom they will find evidence). I've had very few occasions where anyone has noted anything. Letting go of trying to "hide it", has given me a little more peace with this and I worry about it less.

I really agree with everything you said here, and really love your reasoned, mindful perspective! A lot of it is the grass being greener on the other side. It all comes down to chafing with freedom. Many seek the freedom and ultimate baby-ness of not having any control; this is understandable. The flip side is that those who are IC seek the freedom of having a choice.

I too have given up on hiding it, and life is much better with that acceptance.

 

[SparkyDog]

Yup. I'm waiting until May for a MRI for another matter. We have a health crises here.

As far as the urologist is concerned, he won't be looking for cures but dealing with another issue. My diabetes nerve damage is why I am IC, and there is no cure for that.

My urologist tried multiple times and has now basically said im gonna have to learn to live with it.
which equals diapers

 

[Wetshisbed]

My urologist tried multiple times and has now basically said im gonna have to learn to live with it.
which equals diapers

I was told I would have to live with it over 10 years ago now.