Using changing facilities in public places

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Paxe

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What's your opinion about choosing a place to change when you are in a public / store restroom... would you use a baby-change room or disabled-accessible cubicle if available, or would you stick to a regular bathroom stall? Both have the undeniable advantages of more space, a washbasin, a nappy disposal bin, and often space to put supplies down. These all make for a more comfortable and hygienic change especially if it's a messy one.

I am a little uncomfortable about the baby-change, because although I'm using it for its intended purpose (changing a nappy) it wasn't really provided for people like me. I wonder what people think when they see me use it, don't mind if they realise I'm going to change my own nappy, but they are more likely to assume I'm too lazy to walk another 50 feet to the ordinary bathroom or something. I also don't want to tie up the facility if there is a little one who needs changing and has to wait for me to finish. The latter point is also true about the disabled cubicle, where only one is available, although I feel a little better about it in general.

On a few occasions, I've deliberately got a nappy or some baby wipes out of my bag just as I go in, so anyone who sees me also sees that I am going to do some sort of change, even if it's not clear that it's my own.

What's your take on this?
 

Trevor

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Why is a baby that needs a change more important than you needing one? I suppose if you're a recreational wearer like most of us you could say that it's voluntary whereas the baby isn't but you're not preventing the baby from getting changed, it's just a momentary delay on a first-come first-served basis. To me, that distinction is so small as to be non-existent.

I've only ever had to look for changing facilities one time and they weren't for me, at least not directly. If the family restroom had a line, we would have waited or found another location but there was no one around and I would feel not one whit of guilt if someone wanted the room while we were taking care of business.

If I was alone and needing a change, I think it's pretty much the same thing. I'd prefer some privacy but I think I could handle a regular stall if need be. It would be more a question of practicality than of deference.
 

Paxe

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OK suppose you are a busy mum with a couple of children in tow, and your toddler fills her nappy. You go to the baby-change room which is occupied, and hang around for a few minutes trying to keep the older kids amused. Five minutes later when they are all fidgety and you are just on the point of moving on anyhow, an unaccompanied man steps out of the room. What's that all about? OK, if you go in and it's really smelly in there, you might guess. Otherwise, it just seems like he's a dork, or what?
 

irnub

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Five minutes later when they are all fidgety and you are just on the point of moving on anyhow, an unaccompanied man steps out of the room. What's that all about? OK, if you go in and it's really smelly in there, you might guess. Otherwise, it just seems like he's a dork, or what?
Or worse.

Unless the restroom facilities are something I've never seen before (I'm used to what we've got in the US), it's not hard to change in a normal stall. The only two things that make it different from changing at home is that I'll sort of twist my shirt into a knot at my midriff (think like girls will do with shirts at the beach) to keep it up out of the way, then use the top of my pants as a staging area to keep everything up and off the floor so as to not be visible from underneath the stall door.

I really don't see any reason to have to use a special restroom unless there's some kind of weird circumstance (e.g. the normal restroom is "paperless" and has no trashcans inside)
 

jamie72

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In the uk stalls in public toilets are often really small and you often have barely room to turn round.
I wear diapers/nappies 24/7 due to incontinence so I have no issues with using the disabled toilet facilities. These have more room, allow me to deposit my wet nappy and are often much cleaner. In the uk many of these are only accessible with a special key, this was easy to get hold of.
Only once I have had an issue with someone complaining, it was shortly after starting to wear nappies full time. That time I just ignored them and walked off, now I would make a stand. The man who complained was pushing a ladies wheelchair and seemed to think that disabled toilets are only for people who need to use wheelchairs.
In the uk we also have an increasing number of what are known as 'changing rooms' these give much more facilities than normal disabled toilets and have changing beds and sometimes hosts, basically a baby changing rooms for adults and young people who have mobility issues and need to be changed, rather than being able to do it themselves.
Both types of toilet can be located by using apps in smart phones.
 

Trevor

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OK suppose you are a busy mum with a couple of children in tow, and your toddler fills her nappy. You go to the baby-change room which is occupied, and hang around for a few minutes trying to keep the older kids amused. Five minutes later when they are all fidgety and you are just on the point of moving on anyhow, an unaccompanied man steps out of the room. What's that all about? OK, if you go in and it's really smelly in there, you might guess. Otherwise, it just seems like he's a dork, or what?

What you need to get up to in that room is your business. I don't think I'm socially fearless or anything but I'm not that worried about confrontations over a family restroom.
 

Paxe

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I'm not worried, just curious about peoples' opinions on the ethics of 'hijacking' a facility provided for other people. I don't have a problem with using either room as such, only with denying others the opportunity to do so. The reason I ask is that the other day, I went to the 24-hour supermarket late in the evening, to buy a car-load of groceries. By the time I had crossed the car park I had a messy nappy, so went straight to the baby-change as the normal bathroom stalls there are not great for changing in and the disabled little better. Surprisingly for that late hour it was occupied, but in due course a mother and daughter came out. I went in and changed, but it took longer than usual and set me thinking about the potential discomfort caused, had they arrived just after me instead of before.
 

sirleakalot

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I have only ever used the baby change once, when the disabled was occupied and I was on the verge of leaking. I had not long started having to wear protection fulltime and hadn't worked out a routine yet. It felt very strange and I felt really guilty doing it, I sort of ran to the room down the short corridor and shut the door quick, the door was being held open by a chair so I had to move that out the way too, I guess the room had just been cleaned or something? I went about my business as quick as I could and then exited, on my way back down the corridor I noted a security camera so my ninja routine of getting in the room must have looked very strange on it! Then as I made my way down an alarm began to sound, scared me half to death, not long after a lad walks passed me with cleaning supplies, so it seems that the baby change gets cleaned after every use, a bit embarasing to have your visit announced to the world if your not a baby though. Haven't used one since.
 
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incontinentGM24

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OK suppose you are a busy mum with a couple of children in tow, and your toddler fills her nappy. You go to the baby-change room which is occupied, and hang around for a few minutes trying to keep the older kids amused. Five minutes later when they are all fidgety and you are just on the point of moving on anyhow, an unaccompanied man steps out of the room. What's that all about? OK, if you go in and it's really smelly in there, you might guess. Otherwise, it just seems like he's a dork, or what?

That point is completely irrelevant. The space is being used. It's no different than waiting in front of the soda fountain for someone to finish filling their drink. Wait in line.
The same goes for the handicap stall. If you need to change, chances are you are in someway handicapped. Those stalls were not made for one specific person, they're made for people who need. Same with the changing stations. Now it may be a bit more unconventional for an adult to use them, there is nothing wrong with it.
As an icy, I make a very important distinction. Do I need to change? If I do, I will. Regardless of who is in what room. I go to the first open room, I could care less about delaying someone five minutes while I do what I have to do. It's a free country, and I'm not doing anything wrong and neither are you using those facilities
 

diapernh

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Handicap is not something that has to be visible.... Meaning i don't have to be in a wheelchair or using crutches to be handicapped. I have a bad back and bad knees, i sometimes need the aid of the grab bars in the handicapped stall to get off the toilet.

If i saw somebody going into our coming from a handicapped stall or a family bathroom with a backpack like i carry when I'm diapered, i would assume that they were taking care of business.

I've only once had an issue with somebody saying anything to me when i left a handicapped bathroom. They said that it was for handicapped people, to which i replied that "just because you don't see a handicap doesn't mean it doesn't exist, kind of like your ignorance is not always visible"
 

willnotwill

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A handicapped stall is not regulatory reserved to the handicapped like a parking space. If you need the space or the other stalls are taken have at it.
 

Paxe

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All of this makes sense for IC or disabled users, even when the disability is not apparent to the bystander, although I am neither. I had a messy nappy that urgently needed changing, and in that regard the changing room was a suitable choice. But the nappy was only messy because I chose to relieve myself in it rather than wait and use the toilet, which would have made less demand on the available facilities. In that regard it feels selfish.
 

selv14

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You could consider going to a toilet that is used by less people. I find that the toilets on the higher floors of a building is usually quiet. Changing your diaper in the main toilet has the advantage of letting you take as much time as you want without worrying about smells etc.

But for me the biggest disadvantage is the sound of undoing the tapes. That is the one thing that will give it away that you are wearing diapers. Here, it is up to your grit and determination to ignore what others may think of you, for after all, they are strangers who you'll probably never meet again.
 

incontinentGM24

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All of this makes sense for IC or disabled users, even when the disability is not apparent to the bystander, although I am neither. I had a messy nappy that urgently needed changing, and in that regard the changing room was a suitable choice. But the nappy was only messy because I chose to relieve myself in it rather than wait and use the toilet, which would have made less demand on the available facilities. In that regard it feels selfish.

Lose the guilt. You don't need it. It's unnecessary. You did nothing wrong.
 

Paxe

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But for me the biggest disadvantage is the sound of undoing the tapes. That is the one thing that will give it away that you are wearing diapers.

I've no issue with other people knowing. I don't flaunt my diapers but if people see me carrying one or hear me untaping or anything, that's fine. I only prefer the changing station because it's easier for me, more spacious, usually cleaner etc, not specifically for the extra privacy.
 
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