Understanding wife

littleboy7883

Contributor
Messages
11
Role
Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Little
To start with I accepted I am a little at the end of Feb. and then told my wife a short time later. I was hoping she would be able to be my mommy/caregiver. I know my little side comes from a bad and traumatic childhood. I was in a very bad mental place at the time I told her. She wanted me to get help for dealing with my childhood and I have. Right after I told her is when the shutdown started.

Since we both are healthcare workers and on the frontlines, stress has been high for both of us. We have preteen sons (yes I am old school 37 old next sat). I knew I needed to be strong for her the first couple of months of the shut down. Her job is more affected by Covid-19 then mine and more stressful.

Since she wasn't able to be my mommy, I decided to bury my littleside. A couple of weeks ago she asked if I had buried for her. I just told her at the time that I was in a dark space at that time (which I was).

Fast forward to this week and I my littleside is wanting to come out full force. So last night I talked to her and even though at this time she cannot be my mommy/caregiver, she is open to helping with dealing with my past and my littleside. She has always been supportive and understanding. I have a great wife! She asked if I told my therapist yet about being a little. I have not. I have an appointment on Tues and will be talking to her then about it then. Even I am scare to tell my therapist. I know this seem strange but I wanted my wife to be okay with me talking to my therapist about my littleside. I am hoping one day my wife will be okay with me at lease wearing diapers. Back in early March I did buy some and tried them. I really liked wearing them. For me they are very comforting. I also want try a paci. I was a thumb sucker until I was 6. That's another post lol. I am on here looking for understanding friends at this time.

Thank you,
littleboy7883 :)
 

onecho

"A motorcade of 'meant-to-be's..."
Est. Contributor
Messages
1,769
Role
Babyfur, Little
I truly wish you the best of luck in building that understanding with her. I hope she is more accepting than my first wife. 😂 It’s just... the start of end if our marriage began with “can you talk to a therapist about it?” Not saying that’s you, but it is eerily familiar to what I went through.

Did she know you bought padding and wore? If so, how did she react?
 

littleboy7883

Contributor
Messages
11
Role
Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Little
She know I bought them but I didn't tell her I wear them till lastnight. She just wants me to be honest with her. I was more scare of her being upset then leaving me. Like I said she is very understanding. She just wants to make sure I am okay. The next time we talk I am going to ask if she would be okay with me wearing, but not having her change me. I not sure how she will respond. She asked lastnight what I wanted from her and I told her I wanted her to change me and cuddle with me. Her statement was she can't be my mother. I have to talk with her more about her being a mommy vs a mother. I feel that there is a difference in mdlb relationship. So I just need to talk to her some more. I believe she will come around to it at some point.
 

lopearedboy

-`, padded baby ,'-
Est. Contributor
Messages
174
Role
Diaper Lover, Little, Carer
it sounds like its been quite a journey so far!

i just want to stress that being a little is not a defect of character. Being little is a way to cope! while therapy is an amazing tool, it (in my opinion) shouldnt be a substitute for other coping methods. the purpose of therapy should be to better understand yourself, not change yourself. you should be aware that uneducated persons may assume that being ABDL is unhealthy, although it is simply a lifestyle that makes someone happy.

i have no idea how educated your wife is on ABDL although it can help with understanding. heck, i recommend these resources to everybody.
here are some good resources that might help your wife understand what age regression/age play:

- this website answers some really good baseline questions that many people have when they first learn about AB/DL

- Understanding Infantilism (.org) is another great website that shares a lot of baseline info about the community.

- these are some podcasts that i highly recommend, they have helped me lots. The Big Little Podcast, Love in Brief: an ABDL Advice Podcast, Dream a Little, Kinkology's ABDL episode (this is a great one! the guest is a Mommy!), and Crinkle Cast!

- as for some books a great pair of authors is *Rosalie and Michael Bent, a highly praised book my them is Theres Still a Baby in My Bed. they have a number of other books too!

i also recommend that you allow yourself to explore things like diapers and pacifiers. they can be great tools to get into littlespace and give you that release (if you will) from your stressful day to day life.

never put something off limit until you've tried it. i would keep very open communication while you explore your littleside. while you are exploring yourself try to have your wife learn more to better understand you. chances are the more both of you learn the more comfortable youll both be with your age regression.

she may open up, just let her know what you need right now is lots of love, cuddles and patience. it can be very overwhelming to learn this about your partner, so try to be patient with her as well. i know i am throwing a lot of info at you, but i think your wife could gain a lot of understanding from learning too.

i wish you the best of luck !
i send hugs, feel free to message me to chat.



*here is a thread that shares some books as well as a critique by Tyger that is very well said.
 

littleboy7883

Contributor
Messages
11
Role
Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Little
it sounds like its been quite a journey so far!

i just want to stress that being a little is not a defect of character. Being little is a way to cope! while therapy is an amazing tool, it (in my opinion) shouldnt be a substitute for other coping methods. the purpose of therapy should be to better understand yourself, not change yourself. you should be aware that uneducated persons may assume that being ABDL is unhealthy, although it is simply a lifestyle that makes someone happy.

i have no idea how educated your wife is on ABDL although it can help with understanding. heck, i recommend these resources to everybody.
here are some good resources that might help your wife understand what age regression/age play:

- this website answers some really good baseline questions that many people have when they first learn about AB/DL

- Understanding Infantilism (.org) is another great website that shares a lot of baseline info about the community.

- these are some podcasts that i highly recommend, they have helped me lots. The Big Little Podcast, Love in Brief: an ABDL Advice Podcast, Dream a Little, Kinkology's ABDL episode (this is a great one! the guest is a Mommy!), and Crinkle Cast!

- as for some books a great pair of authors is *Rosalie and Michael Bent, a highly praised book my them is Theres Still a Baby in My Bed. they have a number of other books too!

i also recommend that you allow yourself to explore things like diapers and pacifiers. they can be great tools to get into littlespace and give you that release (if you will) from your stressful day to day life.

never put something off limit until you've tried it. i would keep very open communication while you explore your littleside. while you are exploring yourself try to have your wife learn more to better understand you. chances are the more both of you learn the more comfortable youll both be with your age regression.

she may open up, just let her know what you need right now is lots of love, cuddles and patience. it can be very overwhelming to learn this about your partner, so try to be patient with her as well. i know i am throwing a lot of info at you, but i think your wife could gain a lot of understanding from learning too.

i wish you the best of luck !
i send hugs, feel free to message me to chat.



*here is a thread that shares some books as well as a critique by Tyger that is very well said.
Thank you!
 

TeddyBearGirl

Est. Contributor
Messages
466
Role
Adult Baby, Diaper Lover
Hopefully she's open to exploring it with you. When I shared with my husband he didnt want to be my daddy/caregiver but he's open to me exploring it/occasionally does little things for me (tucking me in, giving me paci) I guess sometimes it can be 'baby steps' no pun intended and you have to be prepared for that, that it might not be what you expect/want. It takes time for people to adapt
 

littleboy7883

Contributor
Messages
11
Role
Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Little
it sounds like its been quite a journey so far!

i just want to stress that being a little is not a defect of character. Being little is a way to cope! while therapy is an amazing tool, it (in my opinion) shouldnt be a substitute for other coping methods. the purpose of therapy should be to better understand yourself, not change yourself. you should be aware that uneducated persons may assume that being ABDL is unhealthy, although it is simply a lifestyle that makes someone happy.

i have no idea how educated your wife is on ABDL although it can help with understanding. heck, i recommend these resources to everybody.
here are some good resources that might help your wife understand what age regression/age play:

- this website answers some really good baseline questions that many people have when they first learn about AB/DL

- Understanding Infantilism (.org) is another great website that shares a lot of baseline info about the community.

- these are some podcasts that i highly recommend, they have helped me lots. The Big Little Podcast, Love in Brief: an ABDL Advice Podcast, Dream a Little, Kinkology's ABDL episode (this is a great one! the guest is a Mommy!), and Crinkle Cast!

- as for some books a great pair of authors is *Rosalie and Michael Bent, a highly praised book my them is Theres Still a Baby in My Bed. they have a number of other books too!

i also recommend that you allow yourself to explore things like diapers and pacifiers. they can be great tools to get into littlespace and give you that release (if you will) from your stressful day to day life.

never put something off limit until you've tried it. i would keep very open communication while you explore your littleside. while you are exploring yourself try to have your wife learn more to better understand you. chances are the more both of you learn the more comfortable youll both be with your age regression.

she may open up, just let her know what you need right now is lots of love, cuddles and patience. it can be very overwhelming to learn this about your partner, so try to be patient with her as well. i know i am throwing a lot of info at you, but i think your wife could gain a lot of understanding from learning too.

i wish you the best of luck !
i send hugs, feel free to message me to chat.



*here is a thread that shares some books as well as a critique by Tyger that is very well said.
I sent my wife to the first link you provided and I saw on her phone that she looked at it. We haven't had time to talk about it yet, but I am pretty sure we will tomorrow morning when I get home from work. I work overnights. So thank you thank you thank you! I believe this is going to be a turning point for us for the better.
 

lopearedboy

-`, padded baby ,'-
Est. Contributor
Messages
174
Role
Diaper Lover, Little, Carer
I sent my wife to the first link you provided and I saw on her phone that she looked at it. We haven't had time to talk about it yet, but I am pretty sure we will tomorrow morning when I get home from work. I work overnights. So thank you thank you thank you! I believe this is going to be a turning point for us for the better.
of course! with my past relationships i have found the best route to be education before participation. she may even begin to understand what a "mommy" role looks like and see the appeal. no matter what i wish you guys luck! keep us updated!
 

littleboy7883

Contributor
Messages
11
Role
Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Little
I am thinking my wife might not come around to accepting my little side :(. She might at some point but not anytime soon. When I told my therapist, she was very understanding and I was able to process a lot. Still talking with my wife to hopefully find something in the middle.
 

gabie109

Contributor
Messages
3
Role
Little
My wife has come around a lot since I first told her last year. It took a lot of time and she was not always accepting. But it takes time for people to get used to the idea. She may never give you a whole day of baby treatment but make sure she feels comfortable and safe. Hopefully, she wants to make you feel comfortable and good, and when she feels safe she may surprise you with some little attention. I wanted my wife to baby me as soon as I told her but quickly learned she needed time. Now I can wear whenever I want around the house and, although I don’t get as much little attention as I’d like, I do get some baths, story time, cuddles, and even the occasional diaper change and bottle from my wife. We are still working through stuff but I think she now understands this is a part of me (a need) and not just something I want. I make an effort to not be little enough so she feels like we get to do plenty of adult stuff, and I try and make her feel special, too. No guarantees but if you both truly love each other for who you are and are patient, anything is possible!
 

irnub

Est. Contributor
Messages
1,310
Role
Diaper Lover, Diaperfur
I am thinking my wife might not come around to accepting my little side
I think a reasonable take on any situation involving partners who don't have the same fetishes is that acceptance is mandatory, but participation is optional.

One thing that might help is to sit down with her, set some limits, and talk about what abdl both is and isn't to you. For example, I imagine I'd be pretty freaked out if the only thing I knew of abdls was what I'd seen of the lifestylers on reality shows and my SO suddenly announced that that's what they were. If you can give her some assurance that you're still a functional adult, and the Little stuff is just a part time for fun thing, that can go a long way. You can also use that to establish from her what her boundaries are, and let her see that you're willing to respect that and ok with her setting limits.
 

littleboy7883

Contributor
Messages
11
Role
Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Little
My wife has come around a lot since I first told her last year. It took a lot of time and she was not always accepting. But it takes time for people to get used to the idea. She may never give you a whole day of baby treatment but make sure she feels comfortable and safe. Hopefully, she wants to make you feel comfortable and good, and when she feels safe she may surprise you with some little attention. I wanted my wife to baby me as soon as I told her but quickly learned she needed time. Now I can wear whenever I want around the house and, although I don’t get as much little attention as I’d like, I do get some baths, story time, cuddles, and even the occasional diaper change and bottle from my wife. We are still working through stuff but I think she now understands this is a part of me (a need) and not just something I want. I make an effort to not be little enough so she feels like we get to do plenty of adult stuff, and I try and make her feel special, too. No guarantees but if you both truly love each other for who you are and are patient, anything is possible!
Thank you. We talked some more tonight and I know she has to process all the information. So I am taking my time. I had convinced myself she was coming around more. Right now I really want to wear at night/day when I sleep. I am an overweight shifter. So my sleep patterns are mess up. But I don't want to upset her. I told her tonight that this is a part of me. At my therapy session, I didn't even realize, but I went into littlespace. I was craying and all I wanted was a stuffy to hold. That was new for me. My wife is coming to my next session so my therapist can help me explain what being a little is. I am not good at expressing my feelings in real life.
 

littleboy7883

Contributor
Messages
11
Role
Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Little
I think a reasonable take on any situation involving partners who don't have the same fetishes is that acceptance is mandatory, but participation is optional.

One thing that might help is to sit down with her, set some limits, and talk about what abdl both is and isn't to you. For example, I imagine I'd be pretty freaked out if the only thing I knew of abdls was what I'd seen of the lifestylers on reality shows and my SO suddenly announced that that's what they were. If you can give her some assurance that you're still a functional adult, and the Little stuff is just a part time for fun thing, that can go a long way. You can also use that to establish from her what her boundaries are, and let her see that you're willing to respect that and ok with her setting limits.
Thank you, the big hold up is my traumatic childhood part of why I need to go into littlespace. Some day I think we will get to a happy understanding. I just don't when or how it will look.
 
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