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Independent little with a fragile heart of a child
Est. Contributor
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
  3. Little
Uhm ...hi...

*weakly waves and blushes and looks at the ground and hides behind a stuffy while imaginary doodling on the ground with toes*

Well this is kind of over due now.

I'd intended when I registered to have this long detailed intro but I've already written a lot of stuff in other posts.

Long time lurker, life long DL since childhood and eventually evolved to full blown AB/little. Realized I never actually grew up, my adult self is a false construct created by my little to survive and succeed in an adult world, and this whole time I have just been using the results of my adult success to enable my little to live the dream life of my little kid self.

Little age is something like 4-6 boy who is shy and awkward but shameless about being baby at times.

I've written my theories on the whole DL to AB life cycle already in other posts and that's pretty much a projection of my own journey and self discovery that I now see in others.

Why am I here though? And Why now?

I've always been anti social and extremely introverted. That's bad enough on its own, but throw in ABDL skeletons in the closet on top of that and it's condemnation to a lonely life of isolation and solitude.

What changed the last couple years for me to finally 'come out' and take the step of participating here?

A combination of prerequisites came together at the right time recently.

First my dream career took off and I've finally been able to let go of some past grievances and look forward with confidence instead of backward with bitterness.

Next the covid Pandemic happened and my dream job became a full time permanent work from home dream job with the obvious implications for a little.

And the big bombshells within the last year.

My living arrangements changed and I have my own place all to myself for the first time in ages.

In the months leading to these changes being put into motion I just...suddenly let my little side run wild. The anticipation of being able to wear footie jammies 24/7 without being locked up in a bedroom, having kids bed sheets, sleep with stuffed animals, all my 'little stuff' strewn about in the open with total control of my home decor all to myself. Even a crib or a nursery if I wanted. The possibilities and excitement became endless. I was free and wouldn't have to hide anymore.

Then something magic and unanticipated happened. While I was experiencing all this build up and going crazy feeding it with all the ABDL content online I could consume I stumbled onto something that resonated with these feelings at just the right time. Something that had a profound effect on me that Ill be able to look back on as life changing and the reason I'm here now and the reason for everything else that follows.

I discovered and became addicted to the ABDL comic Shine.

And the weight of all of this just vanished. It inspired me to not accept being alone or being afraid anymore. To achieve that I knew I'd have to expose myself and meet others like me which meant exposing my secret to strangers for the first time in my life. What next?

I did the unthinkable. Inspired by the events of Shine, butterflies in my tummy and heart racing a million miles per hour I registered and committed to going to CAPcon 2023.

And succeeded. I've been approved, I have non refundable plane tickets, and a host hotel room booked. It's actually going to happen. I will not allow anything to stop it from happening. It needs to happen no matter how terrified I become.

My first and only outing and first time being seen by others and seeing others like me. Its both exciting and utterly terrifying but it had to be done. I'm going. I'm tired of being alone and I'm tired of pretending I can keep this closeted and pretend to have a normal vanilla relationship. It's never going to work. I have to get out and meet people like me. I have no choice.

So here it begins, the first day of the rest of my new life.

Guess it's Q&A time now.

*peeks out from behind stuffy with a 1/4 moon eyes little boy smile and giggles* 😁🧸👋

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Welcome and enjoy
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Welcome! It's awesome you've gained the opportunity and courage to embrace your little self. And I'm totally going to check out that comic you mentioned. I've been looking for ABDL comics.
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Welcome to adisc @LittleAndAlone you'll love it here! Also, you don't need to be alone if you don't want to be there's always a ton of awesome people here you can talk to :)
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LittleAndAlone said:
Well this is kind of over due now.
Then how about an overdue welcome! :) And thanks for a great intro. I can relate to a lot of what you've written. I hope you're able to keep up the momentum and continue to embrace this side of yourself. I'm really quite jealous of the CAPcon thing. I wonder how many others have made that their first ABDL meetup. I admire your bravery! But I expect you'll have a great time and I hope we can look forward to your full account when you're back.
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Welcome! I can relate as well to some of it although I don't have many AB tendencies. I've been a DL for over 20 years, starting as a kid, and as I think about it more, the more I think it likely started even earlier than that. I never thought of actually trying diapers post-potty training until recently when I started to actually explore the lifestyle that found me all this time. As I explored, I realized that this is who I am and I can't keep trying to suppress it. The more I talked with people and read things, the more I started to accept this way aboutr me and not try to shame myself for it.

I stressed like hell about it this past week. I lost sleep, sleeping 2 hours some days. I eventually ended up spilling the beans to my folks a few days ago and they fully accepted me and said they wanted the best for me and would help however possible. It's still a private thing for me, but I finally have the giant weight lifted off my shoulder. It's allowed me to feel confident to continue to explore this which gives me such comfort and just feels right. I'm not going to go overboard or obsess over it too much. I just don't want to hide it anymore and I want to learn more about why I am the way I am so I can get better self acceptance, because my confidence has been horrible all these years.

I've decided to talk to a therapist only just to get my thoughts and emotions in order so I can learn to love me again. I'm glad you're able to live out your lifestyle without anything holding you back. I had no idea how much I was holding back until I started talking with like-minded people and did some serious soul searching in that time. Now, I'm glad I told them and I'm glad I can just relax and not worry so much. It'll take a lot of time to heal the 20 years of self hate I've put myself through. But I'm confident I'll reach the other side and be able to move past this.

My DL side is always going to be a side of me, and it'll evolve over time. But it won't be the only thing about me. :)

Thanks for your story and for being so open. I'm glad you've been able to live without shame for so long. Happy diapering, and happy babying!
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Welcome to the site! If you need a friend to talk to then I am available.